As a rule, I try and avoid fads. I never was one to bend to fashion fads like $170 sneakers (though foot size played a part in that), I won't watch popular television shows when everyone at work tells me I need to and I resist doing the latest Internet craze until after it's already peaked. I didn't get onto MySpace until late in the game (only ended up with like 13 friends and now couldn't even tell you the last time I look at it) and probably won't have Facebook until everyone stops having them.
The newest thing is Twitter. Now, of course the cool kids have been 'tweeting' for years already, but, it didn't really take off until a couple months ago. At first it was kept to people who actually, you know, had something to say. Now, however, anyone and every is on Twitter, most with nothing to say. I don't mind the people who update once or twice a day and have something amusing to post. It's the people who feel the need to update every 10 minutes to tell us that they are still at work that get to me. "Just landed at the airport" is a popular one among the constant Twittering crowd. Good, now why not call your family, who are probably more interested in that than anyone else? It has essentially become the adult version of an AIM Away Message.
I just think that if you're going to bore people with mindless drivel that at the end of the day has no real point, you should at least have the common courtesy to expand it out to several paragraphs featuring extensive run-on sentences.
So, as you can tell, I am pretty anti-Twitter and felt no reason to start tweeting. But that was because the only thing on the line was my coolness factor. If I'm already not cool, know that I'm not cool and don't care that I'm not cool, then I have nothing really to lose. But now important things, like Celtics tickets are up for grabs.... in other words, you can probably follow me on Twitter really soon.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Power of Product Placement
It was cold and rainy all day Sunday. I had planned to hit the driving range, but there are only so many covered bays at McGolf, which is where I have several gift certificates. Instead I was lazy and sat on my couch, watching golf and basketball all day (I got three out of four for the Final Four; unfortunately the one I missed was the team I had winning the National Championship).
During my time bouncing between the couch and the recliner I saw a lot of commercials. The commercials during basketball were what you would expect: domestic beer, trucks, cell phones and sports bars. The commercials during golf were also what you would expect: import beer, Cadillacs, banks and prostate medication.
Now, you can only see the same images so many times before they start to have an impact on you. It was probably the fifteenth or sixteenth time that I saw the ad for prostate medication (you know, the one where the guys at the baseball game can't pass the popcorn cause Bob is standing in line for the bathroom again; apparently your friend having prostate issues effects your ability to pass over an empty chair) when I was hit with a sudden urge: Damn, I want some popcorn.
I had some and it was great. Now, they weren't trying to get me to buy popcorn but, man, did I get a craving. So, I think that should be the new way to advertise. Put the thing you're trying to sell in an ad for something else. They already do it in movies, why should TV be any different?
During my time bouncing between the couch and the recliner I saw a lot of commercials. The commercials during basketball were what you would expect: domestic beer, trucks, cell phones and sports bars. The commercials during golf were also what you would expect: import beer, Cadillacs, banks and prostate medication.
Now, you can only see the same images so many times before they start to have an impact on you. It was probably the fifteenth or sixteenth time that I saw the ad for prostate medication (you know, the one where the guys at the baseball game can't pass the popcorn cause Bob is standing in line for the bathroom again; apparently your friend having prostate issues effects your ability to pass over an empty chair) when I was hit with a sudden urge: Damn, I want some popcorn.
I had some and it was great. Now, they weren't trying to get me to buy popcorn but, man, did I get a craving. So, I think that should be the new way to advertise. Put the thing you're trying to sell in an ad for something else. They already do it in movies, why should TV be any different?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
My First Foray Into Politics
The former Speaker of the House, Tip O'Neill, used to say that all politics are local. And for that they named a tunnel after him.
I don't usually get involved in politics, but I figured if I was going to start I should do so at the local level. My aunt is running for the town Housing Authority and, since you're allowed to hold signs for a candidate in the center of town before an election, I said I would hold a sign for her yesterday.
There isn't much to holding a sign, come to find out. I would have thought that there was more to it. I was expecting people to come up and ask me to explain my aunt's thoughts on various aspects of the town's laws and answer questions as to why she should be on the housing authority. Instead I just stood still for two hours in the main intersection of town, trying not to block the sign to passing cars. I mixed it up by making sure that my sign faced the cars that had the red light, as drivers who are stationary are much more likely to read something than those that are moving, which is why billboards are put into high gridlock areas (why yes, I did take Marketing 1, 2 and 3 in college, thank you for noticing).
Other than that it's pretty much just standing and watching. I was stunned by the number of people who refuse to go through on yellow and also the high number of cars that are driving around on their donuts (it's a temporary solution, people). Also, I learned that you should put your signs down if a funeral passes - that's one of the subtle nuances that you just have to learn on your own. The only other thing to pass the time was trying to determine if the cars that honked were because of the woman holding the "Yes on Schools" sign who waved at every car, or because people were stopping to read the "Yes on Schools" sign and didn't go when the light turned green.
Any way to get my aunt's name out there is a good one, though. The person she is running against didn't have any signs of her own on display so I think right now Mame has the leg up. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens April 6th.
I don't usually get involved in politics, but I figured if I was going to start I should do so at the local level. My aunt is running for the town Housing Authority and, since you're allowed to hold signs for a candidate in the center of town before an election, I said I would hold a sign for her yesterday.
There isn't much to holding a sign, come to find out. I would have thought that there was more to it. I was expecting people to come up and ask me to explain my aunt's thoughts on various aspects of the town's laws and answer questions as to why she should be on the housing authority. Instead I just stood still for two hours in the main intersection of town, trying not to block the sign to passing cars. I mixed it up by making sure that my sign faced the cars that had the red light, as drivers who are stationary are much more likely to read something than those that are moving, which is why billboards are put into high gridlock areas (why yes, I did take Marketing 1, 2 and 3 in college, thank you for noticing).
Other than that it's pretty much just standing and watching. I was stunned by the number of people who refuse to go through on yellow and also the high number of cars that are driving around on their donuts (it's a temporary solution, people). Also, I learned that you should put your signs down if a funeral passes - that's one of the subtle nuances that you just have to learn on your own. The only other thing to pass the time was trying to determine if the cars that honked were because of the woman holding the "Yes on Schools" sign who waved at every car, or because people were stopping to read the "Yes on Schools" sign and didn't go when the light turned green.
Any way to get my aunt's name out there is a good one, though. The person she is running against didn't have any signs of her own on display so I think right now Mame has the leg up. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens April 6th.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
New Glasses
So, a couple weeks ago I was watching TV when my glasses snapped. The weird thing is that I literally wasn't doing anything but sitting when they broke. Apparently the crack in the frame had been building for a while. At first, I thought I could get away with simply gluing them back together. Now is not the time for frivolous spending. I mean, shit, it's just my eyes.
But, after a couple days and one disastrous golf trip in which I had a wicked migraine because of my lenses constantly shifting, I decided that I couldn't just keep patching them together and I needed new glasses.
I had planned to just order new frames off the Internet, but I needed to get my eyes checked first. I hadn't had my eyes tested in a while and I wasn't sure if my prescription had changed at all. So, I went to my old eye doctor and had him check me out. Turns out that my left eye hasn't changed at all and my right eye had just a slight change. However, since I hadn't had my eyes looked at in a few years, he decided to go all out and also give me the glaucoma test.
In the time that had passed since my last test I had forgotten what exactly goes into a glaucoma test. But, I lined up in the machine and sat there when my eye was blasted with air. "That can be startling when you get it tested first thing in the morning," my eye doctor commented. Maybe, but I contend having a puff of air hit your eye when you're not ready for it will be startling at any time. I am glaucoma free, however, and that's just good to know.
Turns out that Four Eyes is having a sale of two pairs for $99. I was actually pleasantly surprised to find that they had a descent selection for me to look at, despite my fat Lithuanian head. I ended up getting both new glasses and a pair of sunglasses. I haven't had prescription sunglasses for years, so that'll be a nice luxury to have.
But, after a couple days and one disastrous golf trip in which I had a wicked migraine because of my lenses constantly shifting, I decided that I couldn't just keep patching them together and I needed new glasses.
I had planned to just order new frames off the Internet, but I needed to get my eyes checked first. I hadn't had my eyes tested in a while and I wasn't sure if my prescription had changed at all. So, I went to my old eye doctor and had him check me out. Turns out that my left eye hasn't changed at all and my right eye had just a slight change. However, since I hadn't had my eyes looked at in a few years, he decided to go all out and also give me the glaucoma test.
In the time that had passed since my last test I had forgotten what exactly goes into a glaucoma test. But, I lined up in the machine and sat there when my eye was blasted with air. "That can be startling when you get it tested first thing in the morning," my eye doctor commented. Maybe, but I contend having a puff of air hit your eye when you're not ready for it will be startling at any time. I am glaucoma free, however, and that's just good to know.
Turns out that Four Eyes is having a sale of two pairs for $99. I was actually pleasantly surprised to find that they had a descent selection for me to look at, despite my fat Lithuanian head. I ended up getting both new glasses and a pair of sunglasses. I haven't had prescription sunglasses for years, so that'll be a nice luxury to have.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Three Stories That Need Attention
1. Aramark and Fenway Park announced that they are going to keep prices the same at the concession stands this year. You still only have to pay $7 a beer at Fenway. Thanks, fellas! Now in the stadium's defense (and having worked at Gillette for 2 years and seeing some of the figures) they don't make the killing per beer that you would expect. That being said, they shouldn't put out a press release patting themselves on the back so much. They're still over-charging because they've got the captive audience.
2. The cop in Dallas who prevented NFL running back Ryan Moats from seeing his dying mother-in-law has been suspended by the force. Also, they've dismissed the ticket that Moats received for running the red light. So, they're even now, right?
3. Hold on, the creepy guy trying to sell me ShamWows and Slap Chops is into illegal activities? And it's prostitution, of all things. I would have thought he could have had his pick of the ladies at the flea market. If you had told me he had been arrested my money totally would have been on cocaine possession.
2. The cop in Dallas who prevented NFL running back Ryan Moats from seeing his dying mother-in-law has been suspended by the force. Also, they've dismissed the ticket that Moats received for running the red light. So, they're even now, right?
3. Hold on, the creepy guy trying to sell me ShamWows and Slap Chops is into illegal activities? And it's prostitution, of all things. I would have thought he could have had his pick of the ladies at the flea market. If you had told me he had been arrested my money totally would have been on cocaine possession.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Pineapple Express
So, this is the time of year when all of the movies that came out later in the summer start to show up into the video stores. You know, they were good, but not good enough to compete with the summer blockbusters. As a result, now is the time when I catch up on all the movies that I wanted to see last year, but for one reason or another never made it out to the theatre to see. The other night it was Pineapple Express.
To start with I wasn't sure this was going to be in my wheelhouse. I love a good idiot comedy, but since I've never smoked pot before, I was wary that all the pot jokes would go straight over my head. However, I'm willing to put my faith in Seth Rogan so we got the unrated and extended edition.
First off, I was not expecting the level of violence in this thing. I was expecting it to be more a Cheech and Chong kind of thing, with the giggly stoners and cartoon-like shootouts. Um, no. This movie had a ton of gunfights, car chases and blood. In other words, it was awesome. There was more violence in the unrated and extended edition of Pineapple Express than there was in Defiance; a movie that was supposed to be about war. The fights were also funny because they were rough, but with a bit of sloppiness that made it believable. If the potheads had suddenly turned into karate experts who could shoot with no problems it wouldn't have been nearly as funny. But the fact that they would resort to biting or just wailing wildly at the bad guys made it much better.
I need to give credit to James Franco as well. With Seth Rogan you pretty much know what you're going to get. But, it had been a long time for Franco from his Freaks and Geeks days. If you saw Annapolis, FlyBoys or any of the Spiderman movies, then you may have doubted that he still had this kind of acting still in him. But, he was really good in this movie.
Another thing that made the movie enjoyable was that my fears of not getting the pot jokes was unfounded. They kept the stuff that only stoners would find funny to a minimum. Overall, it was a great movie and if you don't mind a lot of violence then I would recommend that you rent it.
To start with I wasn't sure this was going to be in my wheelhouse. I love a good idiot comedy, but since I've never smoked pot before, I was wary that all the pot jokes would go straight over my head. However, I'm willing to put my faith in Seth Rogan so we got the unrated and extended edition.
First off, I was not expecting the level of violence in this thing. I was expecting it to be more a Cheech and Chong kind of thing, with the giggly stoners and cartoon-like shootouts. Um, no. This movie had a ton of gunfights, car chases and blood. In other words, it was awesome. There was more violence in the unrated and extended edition of Pineapple Express than there was in Defiance; a movie that was supposed to be about war. The fights were also funny because they were rough, but with a bit of sloppiness that made it believable. If the potheads had suddenly turned into karate experts who could shoot with no problems it wouldn't have been nearly as funny. But the fact that they would resort to biting or just wailing wildly at the bad guys made it much better.
I need to give credit to James Franco as well. With Seth Rogan you pretty much know what you're going to get. But, it had been a long time for Franco from his Freaks and Geeks days. If you saw Annapolis, FlyBoys or any of the Spiderman movies, then you may have doubted that he still had this kind of acting still in him. But, he was really good in this movie.
Another thing that made the movie enjoyable was that my fears of not getting the pot jokes was unfounded. They kept the stuff that only stoners would find funny to a minimum. Overall, it was a great movie and if you don't mind a lot of violence then I would recommend that you rent it.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
A Case For the NIT
When Notre Dame went on it's long 7 game skid in the middle of the season, making the NCAA tournament began to look like a much harder task. They needed to recover and win some games that would increase their ranking, such as beating UConn or Villanova. When they couldn't pull off either of those wins, it became obvious that they would have to look elsewhere for a postseason tournament to play in.
They ended up playing in the NIT this year and I've got to say... I'm actually kind of happy they did. Last year during the NCAAs, CBS drove me nuts. In an attempt to make sure that you saw the ending of every game, they refused to cut away from a game that was being dragged out and switch to the Notre Dame game. By the time they did it was two minutes to halftime. After the half the game got out of hand and they cut away again, so I got to see about 5 actual minutes of the Irish's game against George Mason. The same thing happened again in the second round against Washington State. In total, I saw maybe 15 minutes of Notre Dame basketball in the postseason. Honestly, I thought it was a under-handed way to make me order the tournament package on CBS.com.
But, this year they are in the NIT and it turns out that because ESPN has 14 different networks (all of which I have), they'll just move the game to one of those if it looks like another game could run long - I haven't had to miss a minute of the games. It's working out much better for me; I've gotten to watch the first two round and now Notre Dame gets to host a tough Kentucky team in an attempt to get to Madison Square Garden. Now sure, the NIT is essentially a tournament to crown the 66th best team in college basketball, but if your team wins a game and you can't see or enjoy it, did they really win it at all?
As for the game itself, I'm a little nervous for the Irish. They didn't look great against either UAB or New Mexico and Kentucky seems better than either of those two. I know the SEC had a down year, but all year the Irish had trouble with more athletic guards and Jodie Meeks could go off tonight. Plus, there is talk that if he loses Billy Gillispie could be fired and you should never underestimate a team playing to save their coach's job. Hopefully, now that spring break is over the students will actually fill the building tonight and give the Irish the boost they need.
But, win or lose tonight, at least I'll get to see it.
They ended up playing in the NIT this year and I've got to say... I'm actually kind of happy they did. Last year during the NCAAs, CBS drove me nuts. In an attempt to make sure that you saw the ending of every game, they refused to cut away from a game that was being dragged out and switch to the Notre Dame game. By the time they did it was two minutes to halftime. After the half the game got out of hand and they cut away again, so I got to see about 5 actual minutes of the Irish's game against George Mason. The same thing happened again in the second round against Washington State. In total, I saw maybe 15 minutes of Notre Dame basketball in the postseason. Honestly, I thought it was a under-handed way to make me order the tournament package on CBS.com.
But, this year they are in the NIT and it turns out that because ESPN has 14 different networks (all of which I have), they'll just move the game to one of those if it looks like another game could run long - I haven't had to miss a minute of the games. It's working out much better for me; I've gotten to watch the first two round and now Notre Dame gets to host a tough Kentucky team in an attempt to get to Madison Square Garden. Now sure, the NIT is essentially a tournament to crown the 66th best team in college basketball, but if your team wins a game and you can't see or enjoy it, did they really win it at all?
As for the game itself, I'm a little nervous for the Irish. They didn't look great against either UAB or New Mexico and Kentucky seems better than either of those two. I know the SEC had a down year, but all year the Irish had trouble with more athletic guards and Jodie Meeks could go off tonight. Plus, there is talk that if he loses Billy Gillispie could be fired and you should never underestimate a team playing to save their coach's job. Hopefully, now that spring break is over the students will actually fill the building tonight and give the Irish the boost they need.
But, win or lose tonight, at least I'll get to see it.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
It Be Liz
So, today I got to spend some time with everyone's favorite Irish/American girl in her hometown of Natick.
Because she's been living in Dublin (a place known for it's flavor) and I've got such a tolerance for spicy food, we (of course) wanted Mexican for lunch. Thus, we went to the local Chipotle for build-your-own burritos. The guy behind the counter kept asking me if I wanted salsa or beans... or really, anything that would make the food even the slightest bit more interesting. No thank you, sir. Rice, chicken, sour cream and cheese... and even that was too spicy for my liking. We had a wonderful lunch where we caught up on just how boring both our lives are and how much fun it would be if I were really out-sourced by my family to Galway.
After a quick jaunt into a pet store, at which point Liz warned me if I ever got another dog she would never visit me, we went to Target. After a session with the photo print shop, we just wandered around the store, taking in all the variety of commerce that makes America so great. Afterwards we stopped in at Newbury Comics so I could forget what DVDs are on my list to buy (I have got to start carrying that around with me) and I made Liz go to Golfer's Warehouse where I continued to shop with my eyes only and not spend any money on equipment. Then it was off to Dairy Queen for the first Blizzard of the season (you know, when the ingredients are at their freshest). Then we hung out at Liz's, going on a Facebook-led trip down memory lane and chatting about the best way to kill someone and not get caught (don't ask).
All in all it was a great day, even though it just reminded me how much it sucks that I only get to hang out with Liz every three months.
Because she's been living in Dublin (a place known for it's flavor) and I've got such a tolerance for spicy food, we (of course) wanted Mexican for lunch. Thus, we went to the local Chipotle for build-your-own burritos. The guy behind the counter kept asking me if I wanted salsa or beans... or really, anything that would make the food even the slightest bit more interesting. No thank you, sir. Rice, chicken, sour cream and cheese... and even that was too spicy for my liking. We had a wonderful lunch where we caught up on just how boring both our lives are and how much fun it would be if I were really out-sourced by my family to Galway.
After a quick jaunt into a pet store, at which point Liz warned me if I ever got another dog she would never visit me, we went to Target. After a session with the photo print shop, we just wandered around the store, taking in all the variety of commerce that makes America so great. Afterwards we stopped in at Newbury Comics so I could forget what DVDs are on my list to buy (I have got to start carrying that around with me) and I made Liz go to Golfer's Warehouse where I continued to shop with my eyes only and not spend any money on equipment. Then it was off to Dairy Queen for the first Blizzard of the season (you know, when the ingredients are at their freshest). Then we hung out at Liz's, going on a Facebook-led trip down memory lane and chatting about the best way to kill someone and not get caught (don't ask).
All in all it was a great day, even though it just reminded me how much it sucks that I only get to hang out with Liz every three months.
Monday, March 23, 2009
A-Rod Finds His True Love
Images Courtesy of Details MagazineThe most interesting thing in this whole article was that A-Rod was interviewed the same day that he was confronted by Selena Roberts about his steroid use. He called the guy the next day and, rather than ask him to for a chance to explain his steroid use, instead asked him not to reveal what Madonna song was his favorite. That's a man with his priorities in line.
-So, Schilling retired today. Now, no matter what you think of the man off the field, the list of better big game pitchers in the last 25 years is damn short. Probably won't be a first-ballot Hall of Famer due to personal issues with the media, but he'll get there.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Sunday Quick Hits
-As we were sitting down for dinner tonight it started snowing outside. Not enough to stick and it was only for a quick minute. Still, it was enough to remind me that even though it's officially spring that doesn't mean I should swap the snow blower for the lawn mower just yet.
-In the shower this morning I heard an ad on the radio for The Butterfly Place. Mostly it went in one ear and out the other, but one key thing stuck in my head: they have a Justice of the Peace at the ready. You know, in case all the butterflies give you wedding fever. What straight man would agree to this? "Yeah, man, we were gonna be at a country club with an open bar. But, damn, I do just love me some butterflies."
-I was watching golf this afternoon because, yes, it is possible to over-load on basketball, and the announcers were talking about how Tom Lehman needed to at least tie for 7th or else he would lose his medical exemption. He ended up coming a stroke short and I felt bad for the guy... until I realised that he's made about $21 million for his career and he plays golf for a living. Sneaky golf announcers; they can make me do almost anything.
-Also, I lost my first Elite Eight Team off of my bracket. Damn Marquette. I knew I had too much faith in the Big East.
-So, the New York Daily News is reporting that Alex Rodriguez liked to use the same Madam as disgraced former Governor Eliot Spitzer (only, because he's Alex Rodriguez, he used the Madam herself and it was free). I think I speak for a lot of people when I say: that's enough. We get it; Alex is a douche, a steroid user and a bad husband. You're not breaking any news - now all you're doing is piling on. If they're not careful they'll create an A-Rod sympathy backlash.
-In the shower this morning I heard an ad on the radio for The Butterfly Place. Mostly it went in one ear and out the other, but one key thing stuck in my head: they have a Justice of the Peace at the ready. You know, in case all the butterflies give you wedding fever. What straight man would agree to this? "Yeah, man, we were gonna be at a country club with an open bar. But, damn, I do just love me some butterflies."
-I was watching golf this afternoon because, yes, it is possible to over-load on basketball, and the announcers were talking about how Tom Lehman needed to at least tie for 7th or else he would lose his medical exemption. He ended up coming a stroke short and I felt bad for the guy... until I realised that he's made about $21 million for his career and he plays golf for a living. Sneaky golf announcers; they can make me do almost anything.
-Also, I lost my first Elite Eight Team off of my bracket. Damn Marquette. I knew I had too much faith in the Big East.
-So, the New York Daily News is reporting that Alex Rodriguez liked to use the same Madam as disgraced former Governor Eliot Spitzer (only, because he's Alex Rodriguez, he used the Madam herself and it was free). I think I speak for a lot of people when I say: that's enough. We get it; Alex is a douche, a steroid user and a bad husband. You're not breaking any news - now all you're doing is piling on. If they're not careful they'll create an A-Rod sympathy backlash.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The Anatomy of an Upset
I'm still doing ok with my NCAA brackets after two days worth of games. My Final Four is intact and 14 of my Sweet Sixteen are still playing. I guess you can't ask for much more than that. Only I should have known better with one of them and thus I'm kicking myself. I knew that Wake Forest wasn't that good and yet I not only had them winning their first game I even had them winning the next. All the signs of a looming upset were there:
1. Over-rated high seed. Basketball coaches are always saying that being #1 in January doesn't do you any good. Turns out they know what they are talking about. Wake Forest played in the ACC, which had a down year, and got to #1 by beating Duke, which should not have been ranked that high, either.
2. Senior Leadership on the Underdog. Cleveland State has 3 seniors in their starting line-up while, of Wake Forest's 4 seniors, only one of them plays consistently. Seniors are key to winning during March madness for an underdog.
3. No One Picks the Upset. One of the major keys of a college upset is the element of surprise. You'll notice that in football USC never loses to good teams, it's the Stanfords and Oregon States of the world that shock them. That's because when people are constantly telling college kids that they could lose a game then those kids will be extra motivated to prove that they won't. Everyone was picking a 5 - 12 match up for an upset, everyone ignored the 13 - 4 game.
The other one I got wrong was West Virginia. That was the product of forgetting that Bob Huggins isn't that good of a coach. I forgot the high number of first round exits that his teams had while he was coaching at Cincinnati. So, really, I should have known better on both of my loses.
Just wish I had taken the time to write all this down before the tournament started.
1. Over-rated high seed. Basketball coaches are always saying that being #1 in January doesn't do you any good. Turns out they know what they are talking about. Wake Forest played in the ACC, which had a down year, and got to #1 by beating Duke, which should not have been ranked that high, either.
2. Senior Leadership on the Underdog. Cleveland State has 3 seniors in their starting line-up while, of Wake Forest's 4 seniors, only one of them plays consistently. Seniors are key to winning during March madness for an underdog.
3. No One Picks the Upset. One of the major keys of a college upset is the element of surprise. You'll notice that in football USC never loses to good teams, it's the Stanfords and Oregon States of the world that shock them. That's because when people are constantly telling college kids that they could lose a game then those kids will be extra motivated to prove that they won't. Everyone was picking a 5 - 12 match up for an upset, everyone ignored the 13 - 4 game.
The other one I got wrong was West Virginia. That was the product of forgetting that Bob Huggins isn't that good of a coach. I forgot the high number of first round exits that his teams had while he was coaching at Cincinnati. So, really, I should have known better on both of my loses.
Just wish I had taken the time to write all this down before the tournament started.
Friday, March 20, 2009
McDonald's Coma
A few years ago a documentary was made called Super Size Me. The basic premise of the thing was that the film maker, a guy named Morgan Spurlock, would eat McDonald's at every meal for 30 days and then document the toll this would take on his body. Over the course of 30 days he gained about 25 pounds, had to go to the hospital with health issues and began to suffer from depression.
On the groundbreaking scale this movie wasn't much of a tremor. (Wait, fast food is bad for us? We never would have known if it wasn't for you, Mr. Spurlock. Thank God you came to save us from ourselves.) But, it did lead to a show by Spurlock called 30 Days. That was where they would take someone from a situation and drop them into the polar opposite spectrum of life. They challenged an athlete to live as a paralyzed man, a border patrolman to live with a family of illegal immigrants and an atheist to live with a family of Christians. As a man who lives by the philosophy that you shouldn't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes (cause then when you judge them you're a mile away and you've got their shoes [old joke]), it's a pretty intriguing social experiment. I actually find that show to be very interesting, much more so than Super Size Me.
But I have a new found respect for Spurlock's work after Thursday. I had somewhere to be yesterday morning. Now, I don't usually have to be up and out the door early anymore so as a result I typically skip breakfast. But, since I was going to be up and out I figured I would pick up some McDonald's for breakfast. I have a sweet spot for the sausage McMuffin and they happen to be 2 for $3 right now. I know they're not good for me, but I don't eat them very much so I figured the one time wouldn't kill me. However, when lunch time came around McDonald's was again on the menu. What can I say - the food is cheap. So, I ate McDonald's twice in one day. And by 2 o'clock I was barely moving from my couch.
I felt like I had been hit with a tranquilizer dart. My stomach was killing me and I was really tired. I didn't even eat there three times in one day and it was killing me. I couldn't imagine doing that three times a day for thirty days.
-So, I went 15-1 with my tournament picks yesterday (damn you, Butler!). This isn't significant cause there were no great upsets, but I still just wanted to boost my ego for the day.
On the groundbreaking scale this movie wasn't much of a tremor. (Wait, fast food is bad for us? We never would have known if it wasn't for you, Mr. Spurlock. Thank God you came to save us from ourselves.) But, it did lead to a show by Spurlock called 30 Days. That was where they would take someone from a situation and drop them into the polar opposite spectrum of life. They challenged an athlete to live as a paralyzed man, a border patrolman to live with a family of illegal immigrants and an atheist to live with a family of Christians. As a man who lives by the philosophy that you shouldn't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes (cause then when you judge them you're a mile away and you've got their shoes [old joke]), it's a pretty intriguing social experiment. I actually find that show to be very interesting, much more so than Super Size Me.
But I have a new found respect for Spurlock's work after Thursday. I had somewhere to be yesterday morning. Now, I don't usually have to be up and out the door early anymore so as a result I typically skip breakfast. But, since I was going to be up and out I figured I would pick up some McDonald's for breakfast. I have a sweet spot for the sausage McMuffin and they happen to be 2 for $3 right now. I know they're not good for me, but I don't eat them very much so I figured the one time wouldn't kill me. However, when lunch time came around McDonald's was again on the menu. What can I say - the food is cheap. So, I ate McDonald's twice in one day. And by 2 o'clock I was barely moving from my couch.
I felt like I had been hit with a tranquilizer dart. My stomach was killing me and I was really tired. I didn't even eat there three times in one day and it was killing me. I couldn't imagine doing that three times a day for thirty days.
-So, I went 15-1 with my tournament picks yesterday (damn you, Butler!). This isn't significant cause there were no great upsets, but I still just wanted to boost my ego for the day.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Hoop Time and Drunk Babies
-This is one of my favorite days of the year. Starting at noon, there will be basketball on TV pretty much for the next 4 days straight. You can not beat this... unless you own a business, in which case you're screwed. American productivity plummets during March Madness as people across the country take time away from work to fill out brackets, check scores and watch games online during the day. March Madness also provides me with the most compelling case as to why World Series games could start at a descent hour, as it proves that people will find a way to watch their favorite sporting events come hell or high water.
As for my brackets, I unfortunately seemed to have picked a lot of chalk. I didn't plan it that way, because I don't think there are any particularly strong teams in the tournament this year. But, I did each region individually, without paying attention to how they would compare to the other ones and it wasn't until I took a step back that I noticed just how many favorites I had gone with. While I have several lower seeds winning in the first two rounds, by the time they get to the Sweet 16 they end up running into the highest-seeded teams. And those team, while not great, are a lot less likely to be upset after a week of prep time. As a result my Final Four features two 2 seed and two 1 seeds. Now, I used the formula that the Big East > ACC > Big 12 > Big 10 > SEC to break any close match-ups. At least that explains why my Elite 8 is so Big East heavy.
Also, I've got Pittsburgh winning the whole thing, but at least I admit it's just a wild guess.
-So, Addison and Charlotte joined us for dinner last night. It was during dinner that I realized that the analogy of kids being small drunk people is pretty accurate. While we were eating, Charlotte was in her bouncy chair, just making noise to no one in particular and drooling on herself, much like the guy who is drunk by 8 o'clock and spends the rest of the party in the corner, talking to himself. Meanwhile Addison was sitting next to me, pulling on my arm, hair messed up, and speaking excitedly if not very clearly while pointing out obvious things like, "Eyes!" I felt like I was in college all over again. And I thought my time of dealing with drunk girls ended in January.
As for my brackets, I unfortunately seemed to have picked a lot of chalk. I didn't plan it that way, because I don't think there are any particularly strong teams in the tournament this year. But, I did each region individually, without paying attention to how they would compare to the other ones and it wasn't until I took a step back that I noticed just how many favorites I had gone with. While I have several lower seeds winning in the first two rounds, by the time they get to the Sweet 16 they end up running into the highest-seeded teams. And those team, while not great, are a lot less likely to be upset after a week of prep time. As a result my Final Four features two 2 seed and two 1 seeds. Now, I used the formula that the Big East > ACC > Big 12 > Big 10 > SEC to break any close match-ups. At least that explains why my Elite 8 is so Big East heavy.
Also, I've got Pittsburgh winning the whole thing, but at least I admit it's just a wild guess.
-So, Addison and Charlotte joined us for dinner last night. It was during dinner that I realized that the analogy of kids being small drunk people is pretty accurate. While we were eating, Charlotte was in her bouncy chair, just making noise to no one in particular and drooling on herself, much like the guy who is drunk by 8 o'clock and spends the rest of the party in the corner, talking to himself. Meanwhile Addison was sitting next to me, pulling on my arm, hair messed up, and speaking excitedly if not very clearly while pointing out obvious things like, "Eyes!" I felt like I was in college all over again. And I thought my time of dealing with drunk girls ended in January.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Weird Plumbing
Due to my time working on the beach house, I'm ok doing basic plumbing. I'm not going to rough in a shower or anything, but I can replace a garbage disposal with the best of them. A few months ago, the faucet on our kitchen sink broke. It had sprung a leak and any time you turned it on a lovely mist would spray you. Now, I'm a little taller and thus this mist would hit me in the crotch and make me look as if I had pissed myself. Lucky me. We set out to replace it with a newer, more modern-looking faucet set (the kind that even included the built-in soap dispenser - fancy).
After a longer struggle then it should have been (at no point did the directions include the words: "take out the sawzall", but that's what happened) we got the old faucet off and put the new one in. The problem was that we didn't seem to get as much water pressure with the new faucet set. Didn't notice it at first and, as I've pointed out in this space before, we Rakauskas just roll with stuff so we let it be. But today my father and I decided it was bothering us. So, I climbed under the sink and checked the valves, just to double check that they had been opened all the way. Turns out that they hadn't, only when I opened them up completely, all the water shut off. For some reason we went from weak stream to no stream. Our best guess was that there was a clog in the line and turning the water on full blast had sent it up into the nozzle, blocking it completely. Well, shit. Now we had to get under the sink and fix it.
So, we cleaned out all the crap from the cabinet underneath the sink and took a closer look at the hoses. We couldn't see any visible dings, punctures or crimps. We shut the water off (eventually) and made sure that water was getting to the faucet. It was, so we unhooked it from the intake hose and checked for a blockage. Couldn't see one, so we put it back on. Just for the hell of it, we turned the water back on. Suddenly we had a ton of water pressure coming through the hose. Weird, I know. We didn't do anything other than essentially unplug it and plug it back in, but it was working great. And here all this time I only thought that worked with computers. Unfortunately, this wasn't a long-term solution. I tried the faucet a short time later and we're back to low water pressure.
I guess the moral is this: if you don't really fix something, you shouldn't be surprised when it breaks again.
After a longer struggle then it should have been (at no point did the directions include the words: "take out the sawzall", but that's what happened) we got the old faucet off and put the new one in. The problem was that we didn't seem to get as much water pressure with the new faucet set. Didn't notice it at first and, as I've pointed out in this space before, we Rakauskas just roll with stuff so we let it be. But today my father and I decided it was bothering us. So, I climbed under the sink and checked the valves, just to double check that they had been opened all the way. Turns out that they hadn't, only when I opened them up completely, all the water shut off. For some reason we went from weak stream to no stream. Our best guess was that there was a clog in the line and turning the water on full blast had sent it up into the nozzle, blocking it completely. Well, shit. Now we had to get under the sink and fix it.
So, we cleaned out all the crap from the cabinet underneath the sink and took a closer look at the hoses. We couldn't see any visible dings, punctures or crimps. We shut the water off (eventually) and made sure that water was getting to the faucet. It was, so we unhooked it from the intake hose and checked for a blockage. Couldn't see one, so we put it back on. Just for the hell of it, we turned the water back on. Suddenly we had a ton of water pressure coming through the hose. Weird, I know. We didn't do anything other than essentially unplug it and plug it back in, but it was working great. And here all this time I only thought that worked with computers. Unfortunately, this wasn't a long-term solution. I tried the faucet a short time later and we're back to low water pressure.
I guess the moral is this: if you don't really fix something, you shouldn't be surprised when it breaks again.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Green Food and Irish Jams
This is one of my favorite days of the year. First off, green is my favorite color and there is tons of it around today. I usually forget to wear red for Valentine's Day, but I never forget to wear green for St. Patrick's. Between my love of Notre Dame and the Boston Celtics, I've got green clothing to spare.
Now, a word to the wise about today - avoid the dark green beer. A couple years ago I went to a Celtics game on St. Patrick's Day and they were selling green beer, only by the darkness of it you could tell they had gone a little heavy on the food coloring. It still tasted fine, but peeing green later that night (before that I would have guessed they used blue food coloring with the yellow beer, but no) freaked me out for a second. Also, in their haste to capitalize on St. Patrick's Day the bakeries in various supermarkets in the area have been known to dye their bagels green. This is a mistake, as on first glance it just looks like the bread has gone extremely moldy. Lastly, just a point of clarification: if you order the green shake from McDonald's, it is not vanilla that they've made green, it is actually mint and after about 4 sips you've had enough of that.
I also love today because of the music. I've always enjoyed Irish music and so here is the list of my favorite Irish songs. There were some tough omissions to get it down to the Top 5. "Forever" by the Dropkick Murphys is a good song, but I don't really think of DKM as traditional Irish music and so they won't be making the list. Also, "The Voyage" by Celtic Thunder is a lovely tune, but it's not one that you'll be hearing today unless you're at a wedding. Here's are five songs that should be on any playlist for today.
Obviously this is the tip of the iceberg and this list could be a lot longer; I'm just trying to get you started. Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone.
Now, a word to the wise about today - avoid the dark green beer. A couple years ago I went to a Celtics game on St. Patrick's Day and they were selling green beer, only by the darkness of it you could tell they had gone a little heavy on the food coloring. It still tasted fine, but peeing green later that night (before that I would have guessed they used blue food coloring with the yellow beer, but no) freaked me out for a second. Also, in their haste to capitalize on St. Patrick's Day the bakeries in various supermarkets in the area have been known to dye their bagels green. This is a mistake, as on first glance it just looks like the bread has gone extremely moldy. Lastly, just a point of clarification: if you order the green shake from McDonald's, it is not vanilla that they've made green, it is actually mint and after about 4 sips you've had enough of that.
I also love today because of the music. I've always enjoyed Irish music and so here is the list of my favorite Irish songs. There were some tough omissions to get it down to the Top 5. "Forever" by the Dropkick Murphys is a good song, but I don't really think of DKM as traditional Irish music and so they won't be making the list. Also, "The Voyage" by Celtic Thunder is a lovely tune, but it's not one that you'll be hearing today unless you're at a wedding. Here's are five songs that should be on any playlist for today.
- "The Black Velvet Band"
- "The Rocky Road to Dublin"
- "Green Fields of France"
- "The Wild Rover"
- "I'm a Rambler, I'm a Gambler"
Obviously this is the tip of the iceberg and this list could be a lot longer; I'm just trying to get you started. Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone.
Monday, March 16, 2009
He Could Have Missed, You Know...
-I consider myself a pretty passionate sports fan. If it's an important game, I'm not answering the phone. I'll yell at the TV, throw pillows and jump up on big plays. I get really into it and act as if my actions could actually have an effect on what I'm seeing on TV. And yes, I get mad when my team gives up a big play. If I see a back get through the line for a break-away touchdown I get pissed. But, my first thought is usually "God, I hope there was holding on that play." It is not, "Man, I wish I had a gun to shoot that running back."
All I am saying is that goals in soccer are not guaranteed. That guy would not have been the first soccer player in history to have missed on a break-away. A shot into the air probably would have been just as effective in distracting him. Also, how did you get a gun into the stadium? In America we can't bring in bottled water.
-On a lighter note, I bring you the story (via Deadspin) of Unni Haskell, a 62 year-old from Florida who decided to take up golf in retirement. She took a couple months of lessons, decided she had had enough of the practice range and wanted to play a real round. Her teacher took her out to the nearby course, she teed up on a 100 yard par 3, took her first swing in a game of golf... and got a hole in one. Now, despite her comment of "I thought all golfers do this" (shut up, lady) it's a cute little story. But the amusing part to me is if you scroll down to the comments. Some of them are light-hearted ("it's all downhill from here") but some of them are just dickheaded. People are pissed cause she used a range ball, others are unimpressed cause it was on a short par 3 and others wonder why this is even news. See, Unni, this is why I write my golf blog... cause no one, even golfers, want to hear unsolicited golf stories.
All I am saying is that goals in soccer are not guaranteed. That guy would not have been the first soccer player in history to have missed on a break-away. A shot into the air probably would have been just as effective in distracting him. Also, how did you get a gun into the stadium? In America we can't bring in bottled water.
-On a lighter note, I bring you the story (via Deadspin) of Unni Haskell, a 62 year-old from Florida who decided to take up golf in retirement. She took a couple months of lessons, decided she had had enough of the practice range and wanted to play a real round. Her teacher took her out to the nearby course, she teed up on a 100 yard par 3, took her first swing in a game of golf... and got a hole in one. Now, despite her comment of "I thought all golfers do this" (shut up, lady) it's a cute little story. But the amusing part to me is if you scroll down to the comments. Some of them are light-hearted ("it's all downhill from here") but some of them are just dickheaded. People are pissed cause she used a range ball, others are unimpressed cause it was on a short par 3 and others wonder why this is even news. See, Unni, this is why I write my golf blog... cause no one, even golfers, want to hear unsolicited golf stories.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
And That Should End Winter...
Several months ago, the first time it snowed, my dad was working the snowblower at the end of the driveway. The pavement around my driveway isn't in the best of shape and he hit a big chunk of it. The asphalt went up into the snowblower and out the chute, cracking the top of it in half. As a result, the force of the snow would force the chute any which way it felt like. Now, for the rest of winter we had duct taped the ever-loving crap out of it and just worked around the problem, as we Rakauskas are known to do (we're not complainers - we just suffer in silence. Not sure if that's a Lithuanian or an Irish thing).
It still worked fine to move the snow around, you just couldn't open it up full-throttle. As long as you were in the middle with the speed, you could get the snow to whatever side you needed. Too fast and the snow essentially just went straight up and, of course, straight back down. Damn gravity. The problem with that system is that you need to go full throttle when the snow is very heavy and our last round of snow just frustrated me to no end. So, we caved and ordered a new chute for the snowblower. 5 screws later and we're all set to take on whatever Old Man Winter feels like throwing at us for the rest of the year. That should guarantee there won't be any April Fools Day Blizzard this year and we don't see a flake until next October. You're welcome.
It still worked fine to move the snow around, you just couldn't open it up full-throttle. As long as you were in the middle with the speed, you could get the snow to whatever side you needed. Too fast and the snow essentially just went straight up and, of course, straight back down. Damn gravity. The problem with that system is that you need to go full throttle when the snow is very heavy and our last round of snow just frustrated me to no end. So, we caved and ordered a new chute for the snowblower. 5 screws later and we're all set to take on whatever Old Man Winter feels like throwing at us for the rest of the year. That should guarantee there won't be any April Fools Day Blizzard this year and we don't see a flake until next October. You're welcome.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Reason #101 I Know I'm Getting Old...
I no longer get excited when the Eastbay catalog shows up at my house.
For those of you who aren't familiar, Eastbay is a catalog with any kind of sport equipment you could ever need (well, minus golf), in every color and size you could imagine, broken up by sport. When I was younger, I loved the days that Eastbay showed up at my house. I used to pour through it and circle all the stuff I wanted - it was how I did my Christmas list for my parents. Then, I would always watch the mail for when the tell-tale silver packages showed up.
Now when it arrives I'll give it a token flip-through and toss it in the recycling bin. The only thing it comes in handy for anymore is sneakers. Finding a pair of size 14 at a store can be an issue, especially if you want a little bit of style. But, other than a sweet pair of green and white running sneakers last August, I don't think I've bought anything from the Eastbay catalog in years. The bottom line is that I just don't need any cleats, gloves or knee braces anymore. Even my jersey buying is slipping. I mean, I don't even have a Ray Allen jersey. What the hell is that? Back in the day I would have the jersey from every member of the Celtics' starting five, and that was when they were going 15-67.
To their credit, Eastbay keeps trying. I get email deals from them every day and I seem to get a new Eastbay catalog every couple of weeks, along with the Final Score catalog of all the stuff that's on sale and the Fielder's Choice catalog of nothing but baseball equipment (oh, that one came in handy). But, despite the constant deals they throw my way, I still don't find anything I really want in any of their catalogs. I guess after a while you just find a better way to shop and more adult needs than sports equipment.
Now, if you'll excuse me, the Golfer's Warehouse catalog has shown up and I have some circling to do.
-Oh, and Happy Birthday, Amy!
For those of you who aren't familiar, Eastbay is a catalog with any kind of sport equipment you could ever need (well, minus golf), in every color and size you could imagine, broken up by sport. When I was younger, I loved the days that Eastbay showed up at my house. I used to pour through it and circle all the stuff I wanted - it was how I did my Christmas list for my parents. Then, I would always watch the mail for when the tell-tale silver packages showed up.
Now when it arrives I'll give it a token flip-through and toss it in the recycling bin. The only thing it comes in handy for anymore is sneakers. Finding a pair of size 14 at a store can be an issue, especially if you want a little bit of style. But, other than a sweet pair of green and white running sneakers last August, I don't think I've bought anything from the Eastbay catalog in years. The bottom line is that I just don't need any cleats, gloves or knee braces anymore. Even my jersey buying is slipping. I mean, I don't even have a Ray Allen jersey. What the hell is that? Back in the day I would have the jersey from every member of the Celtics' starting five, and that was when they were going 15-67.
To their credit, Eastbay keeps trying. I get email deals from them every day and I seem to get a new Eastbay catalog every couple of weeks, along with the Final Score catalog of all the stuff that's on sale and the Fielder's Choice catalog of nothing but baseball equipment (oh, that one came in handy). But, despite the constant deals they throw my way, I still don't find anything I really want in any of their catalogs. I guess after a while you just find a better way to shop and more adult needs than sports equipment.
Now, if you'll excuse me, the Golfer's Warehouse catalog has shown up and I have some circling to do.
-Oh, and Happy Birthday, Amy!
Friday, March 13, 2009
More Awesomeness
My Uncle continues to upload old photos onto his Flickr page and I feel that I must continue to share the best ones with you.
Another picture from my grandparent's wedding day. Why don't ladies wear hats anymore? It's only done at the Kentucky Derby and that is just too bad.
Ah, the Cottage. Please notice the fact that the couch almost matches the wall. Nice camouflage job. You'll be happy to know that while we didn't save the wallpaper in the great refurbish of the last 3 summers, we did leave the sweet orange countertops.
Halloween. Gee, I wonder which one I am.
You know, Jason couldn't be more than 12, but he's got to be over 6 feet tall already. Don't know what the deal with the Ghostbuster bags is - this must have been before we figured out you could get more candy using large pillow cases.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Just Killing a Shark With My Hands... What Are You Doing?
I've always like watching fish. When I was a kid I thought about being a marine biologist for about 3 days, until I realised I would have to study a lot of biology. Any biology, I would learn once I got to high school, was too much for me.
My inability to grasp science aside, that hasn't changed the fact that I like to watch fish swim. I just find them to be very graceful. I'm always watching documentaries about fish or whales and I rarely miss Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. But, even with that, I would never think to swim (in open waters), around fish that happen to be quite tasty to sharks. But, that's what three men decided to do when they went out in the Gulf of Mexico to go spear fishing for tuna.
After they had been fishing for a while a tiger shark swam into their area and began to slowly circle them, getting closer with each pass. Naturally, one of the men decided to take matters into his own hands and attack the shark first before it had time to come at them. I mean, they could have made a break for their boat, but why not be the aggressor? It's just what I would do in that situation. It's not like you're in the shark's turf. Apparently the guy hit the shark in the gills and, realising that this would slowly kill it, decided to try and be humane and kill it as quickly as possible. Well two hours later, the shark wouldn't quit living. (You may have over-estimated how seriously you wounded it the first time, Chief. And while you may have been trying to be humane, at some point you're just beating up a fish.) But, eventually the shark died, the three men were unharmed and the guy with the camera just filmed a better shark sequence then all of Jaws 3 or 4 combined. You can read the entire news story and see the rest of the ridiculous photos.
Another aspect of this is to think about the bragging rights. When I was really little, I once went fishing with my dad and brother. My brother had a brand-new fishing rod and every type of lure you could imagine. I had a Fisher Price wooden rod and some twine with a hook on the end. I caught 4 or 5 sun fish (one of them twice) while my brother never caught a thing. I still talk about that day; I can only imagine the amount of times that this guy's kids are going to hear this story before they get old enough to move out.
My inability to grasp science aside, that hasn't changed the fact that I like to watch fish swim. I just find them to be very graceful. I'm always watching documentaries about fish or whales and I rarely miss Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. But, even with that, I would never think to swim (in open waters), around fish that happen to be quite tasty to sharks. But, that's what three men decided to do when they went out in the Gulf of Mexico to go spear fishing for tuna.
After they had been fishing for a while a tiger shark swam into their area and began to slowly circle them, getting closer with each pass. Naturally, one of the men decided to take matters into his own hands and attack the shark first before it had time to come at them. I mean, they could have made a break for their boat, but why not be the aggressor? It's just what I would do in that situation. It's not like you're in the shark's turf. Apparently the guy hit the shark in the gills and, realising that this would slowly kill it, decided to try and be humane and kill it as quickly as possible. Well two hours later, the shark wouldn't quit living. (You may have over-estimated how seriously you wounded it the first time, Chief. And while you may have been trying to be humane, at some point you're just beating up a fish.) But, eventually the shark died, the three men were unharmed and the guy with the camera just filmed a better shark sequence then all of Jaws 3 or 4 combined. You can read the entire news story and see the rest of the ridiculous photos.
Another aspect of this is to think about the bragging rights. When I was really little, I once went fishing with my dad and brother. My brother had a brand-new fishing rod and every type of lure you could imagine. I had a Fisher Price wooden rod and some twine with a hook on the end. I caught 4 or 5 sun fish (one of them twice) while my brother never caught a thing. I still talk about that day; I can only imagine the amount of times that this guy's kids are going to hear this story before they get old enough to move out.
This is the patented "Shark Uppercut" that no one with a brain recommends you try in the event you are attacked.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Shouldn't She Be Less Attractive?
So, the other night I was watching Point Break, cause that's the level of fine cinema I enjoy. It's actually not a bad movie and, in terms of personal performance, it's probably in the Top 5 for both Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze (you can make a case for Gary Busey as well). But, the whole thing was brought down by Lori Petty. It's not that she's particularly un-attractive, but if you expect me to believe that Keanu Reeves is willing to jump out of a plane without a parachute for a girl, you need to do better than the flat-chested woman with the 12 year-old boy's haircut. They just really should have cast a hotter girl, is all.
This has happened before, of course. In Troy, the woman who was playing Helen, the face that launched a thousand ships, was the second prettiest person in any of her scenes because she was acting with Orlando Bloom. In the end, I'll give her a pass because, face facts - Orlando's just a pretty man. What are you going to do?
But, as I was laying in bed I began to think about the movies were the roles went the other way - you know, roles where the woman were too attractive to be believable. [author's note: see what happens when I don't fall asleep within 45 seconds of getting into bed? This is where my mind starts to drift to and then I don't go to sleep until 4 am thinking about shitty movies.] So, here are a few examples, in no particular order:
This has happened before, of course. In Troy, the woman who was playing Helen, the face that launched a thousand ships, was the second prettiest person in any of her scenes because she was acting with Orlando Bloom. In the end, I'll give her a pass because, face facts - Orlando's just a pretty man. What are you going to do?
But, as I was laying in bed I began to think about the movies were the roles went the other way - you know, roles where the woman were too attractive to be believable. [author's note: see what happens when I don't fall asleep within 45 seconds of getting into bed? This is where my mind starts to drift to and then I don't go to sleep until 4 am thinking about shitty movies.] So, here are a few examples, in no particular order:
- Sandra Bullock, The Net. She's a shut-in and a computer nerd, but I'm expected to believe that she's still that cute? No way. She needed to be 50 pounds heavier and with more cats. Also, that movie was dated in about 6 months. Not related to the topic by any means, but still worth mentioning.
- Michael Michele, The 6th Man. I have been on my fair share of press rows and in a good amount of press boxes; the women there are not this hot. They are more like 6's or 7's, who get elevated due to the lack of any other women in the area... it's like prison that way.
- Michelle Rodriguez, S.W.A.T. Never would have made this list if I didn't actually watch shows like Dallas: S.W.A.T. (told you, fine cinema). If you watch that show you realize how unlikely it would be that this 5'5" girl would be on a SWAT team, no matter how tough she may be.
- Rosario Dawson, Clerks II. I have been to more than enough fast food restaurants to declare with confidence that girls this attractive do not work in fast food. Trust me, I would eat more fast food if they did. I still contend she was put in this role because the movie studio wouldn't fund production unless Kevin Smith cast a big star.
- Tyra Banks, Coyote Ugly. You know, I went to the Boston Coyote Ugly when it was still open near the Garden. Let's just say within 5 minutes I was looking for a refund for false advertising. There is a reason the bar closed down.
The trend lately has been to take attractive women and make them less attractive in an effort to make them more believable (Monster, Frida) and yeah, I'm not for that at all. I'd much rather sit there and think a girl is too hot than not hot enough; it makes for the much more enjoyable viewing experience.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
NCIS
If you've read this blog before, you know that I don't watch a lot of TV shows. I watch a lot of TV, but it's mostly sports. However, one of the shows that I do watch regularly is Bones. Now, it hasn't been nearly as good this year as in past seasons, but that's not what this post is about. Fox is driving me crazy with the way they're scheduling the new episodes. The season started with three new episodes then a week off. After that came the baseball playoffs so two weeks off. Then no new shows for the month of December and half of January, followed by one new episode, two weeks off, a new episode and now three weeks off. It's very frustrating. As a result, I've begun to look elsewhere for my "mystery that is wrapped up in one hour" fix.
This has led me to an enjoyable program called, NCIS. It's basically like any of the CSI's, only all of the crimes have a military background. It stars Mark Harmon who, as we know from Family Guy, is cool: "This is not the Gil Gerrard speech. Granted, it is similar to the Gil Gerrard speech." (Obviously, I couldn't find the full clip on Youtube.) It has the pretty standard formula where there is a mystery, a cleverly-lit naked body on an autopsy table, some evidence, a twist at the 45 minute mark and everyone is happy at the end of the hour. At some point they replaced the cute American girl with a cuter Israeli girl... haven't caught the episode as to why yet. As far as I know, that's all that's changed about the show in 5 seasons. Also, bonus points when they start the scene with a snapshot of the last shot of the scene, so you know when it's coming. That's just very convenient if you need a drink or something.
NCIS goes into the category of shows that I don't watch when they are new such as Law & Order, Scrubs or CSI: NY. I never watch these shows on their first run or original channel, but I always seem to watch them when they are repeated on cable channels.
There are advantages of jumping into a show that's a few seasons in, especially if it's syndication. We're not talking about a show like Heroes or Lost here. With those shows if you haven't been watching from the initial episode then there is no point in starting now unless you want to spend a weekend with your DVD player catching up on past seasons. If you've never seen an episode of NCIS, you can watch one, pick up the show almost immediately and put it down just as easily. Not to mention they seem to have marathons of NCIS every other weekend so you can watch a couple episodes in a row until something better comes on.
The weird thing about the show is that it was on for several seasons and not doing that well in the ratings, when all of a sudden it picked up for no real reason and is now one of the most popular shows on television. I guess the power of Mark Harmon will just not be denied.
This has led me to an enjoyable program called, NCIS. It's basically like any of the CSI's, only all of the crimes have a military background. It stars Mark Harmon who, as we know from Family Guy, is cool: "This is not the Gil Gerrard speech. Granted, it is similar to the Gil Gerrard speech." (Obviously, I couldn't find the full clip on Youtube.) It has the pretty standard formula where there is a mystery, a cleverly-lit naked body on an autopsy table, some evidence, a twist at the 45 minute mark and everyone is happy at the end of the hour. At some point they replaced the cute American girl with a cuter Israeli girl... haven't caught the episode as to why yet. As far as I know, that's all that's changed about the show in 5 seasons. Also, bonus points when they start the scene with a snapshot of the last shot of the scene, so you know when it's coming. That's just very convenient if you need a drink or something.
NCIS goes into the category of shows that I don't watch when they are new such as Law & Order, Scrubs or CSI: NY. I never watch these shows on their first run or original channel, but I always seem to watch them when they are repeated on cable channels.
There are advantages of jumping into a show that's a few seasons in, especially if it's syndication. We're not talking about a show like Heroes or Lost here. With those shows if you haven't been watching from the initial episode then there is no point in starting now unless you want to spend a weekend with your DVD player catching up on past seasons. If you've never seen an episode of NCIS, you can watch one, pick up the show almost immediately and put it down just as easily. Not to mention they seem to have marathons of NCIS every other weekend so you can watch a couple episodes in a row until something better comes on.
The weird thing about the show is that it was on for several seasons and not doing that well in the ratings, when all of a sudden it picked up for no real reason and is now one of the most popular shows on television. I guess the power of Mark Harmon will just not be denied.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Ok, Today is Your One Day...
... to complain about Daylight Savings Time.
Every single year, people seem to complain for a week about losing an hour of sleep. And yes, it can throw you off for all of Sunday. I pretty much wasted the day cause I didn't wake up until what felt like 10:30, but in reality was almost noon. Since most people had yesterday off and couldn't see co-workers they had to hold in their complaints until today. So OK, fine, let them out. But after today no more blaming your being late on Daylight Savings.
The effect Daylight Savings really has is just the same as if you stayed up later than normal on a weeknight. And hey, that's happened to all of us. You know you need to go to bed cause that alarm is going off no matter what, but you really want to stay up and see how this horrible movie ends. I get that. But, after a day of dragging slightly you should be all caught up. I used to work with a guy who treated Daylight Savings as if he had fallen through a time warp... "What day is it? Who's President now? Is this currency still accepted?"
-Hold on, are you telling me that the woman who, despite having no job, no health insurance and no way to support the kids she already had, still decided to get implanted with 8 more kids might just be a little crazy? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, by this new information.
Every single year, people seem to complain for a week about losing an hour of sleep. And yes, it can throw you off for all of Sunday. I pretty much wasted the day cause I didn't wake up until what felt like 10:30, but in reality was almost noon. Since most people had yesterday off and couldn't see co-workers they had to hold in their complaints until today. So OK, fine, let them out. But after today no more blaming your being late on Daylight Savings.
The effect Daylight Savings really has is just the same as if you stayed up later than normal on a weeknight. And hey, that's happened to all of us. You know you need to go to bed cause that alarm is going off no matter what, but you really want to stay up and see how this horrible movie ends. I get that. But, after a day of dragging slightly you should be all caught up. I used to work with a guy who treated Daylight Savings as if he had fallen through a time warp... "What day is it? Who's President now? Is this currency still accepted?"
-Hold on, are you telling me that the woman who, despite having no job, no health insurance and no way to support the kids she already had, still decided to get implanted with 8 more kids might just be a little crazy? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, by this new information.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I'm Kinda Getting Into This
As you may know from reading this space before, I'm not a big baseball guy. Sure, I like the Red Sox, but other than them I'm not watching much baseball if I can find another way to amuse myself. But, I have to admit, I'm finding the World Baseball Classic to be an enjoyable experience so far.
With baseball no longer an Olympic sport (thank God they added crucial things like team table tennis instead), baseball needed something to fill the international gap, because nothing brings in viewers like a chance to root against an entire nation at once. Thus three years ago the World Baseball Classic was born. The timing of it is a little off, because it takes place when Major League teams are in spring training and thus, the best players in the tournament aren't in shape yet. But, it's fun to see these teams made up of, essentially, nothing but All-Stars.
This weekend there was a ton of basketball on, yet I found myself repeatedly going back and watching baseball. In March, no less. Guess Bud Selig finally had a good idea.
-I constantly find myself defending football players as smarter than a lot of people think they are. There are a lot of subtle nuances of the game that I don't think the general public gives football players credit for understanding. Really, some football players are really bright. That point just gets harder to justify when you hear guys like Terrell Owens. He was asked about leaving the Dallas Cowboys and signing with Buffalo, so he said "I'm leaving America's Team to sign with North America's team." (sigh) Who wants to tell him Dallas is in North America?
With baseball no longer an Olympic sport (thank God they added crucial things like team table tennis instead), baseball needed something to fill the international gap, because nothing brings in viewers like a chance to root against an entire nation at once. Thus three years ago the World Baseball Classic was born. The timing of it is a little off, because it takes place when Major League teams are in spring training and thus, the best players in the tournament aren't in shape yet. But, it's fun to see these teams made up of, essentially, nothing but All-Stars.
This weekend there was a ton of basketball on, yet I found myself repeatedly going back and watching baseball. In March, no less. Guess Bud Selig finally had a good idea.
-I constantly find myself defending football players as smarter than a lot of people think they are. There are a lot of subtle nuances of the game that I don't think the general public gives football players credit for understanding. Really, some football players are really bright. That point just gets harder to justify when you hear guys like Terrell Owens. He was asked about leaving the Dallas Cowboys and signing with Buffalo, so he said "I'm leaving America's Team to sign with North America's team." (sigh) Who wants to tell him Dallas is in North America?
Saturday, March 7, 2009
This Just Works
So with my dad recovering very nicely from his recent knee surgery, he's been able to work from his home office, as stairs are no longer a problem. As a result, the laptop he was using to work from his room has become an extra luxury. So, he had the brilliant idea to bring the laptop downstairs and keep it near the TV. Now, my brother-in-law was the pioneer of this idea, but that doesn't make my dad's decision to implement it any less brilliant.
Having Internet access right next to the TV is a great idea, because whenever I watch TV I always have questions that I would like an immediate answer to. But, by the time I finish watching whatever it is, go upstairs, fire up the computer and get online I've completely forgotten what I was going to look at in the first place (fun fact about me: this doesn't mean it's gone forever. In fact, usually it will pop up later when I should be paying attention to something else. I've been in conversations with people and just blurted out: "Robert Loggia. That's the name I was trying to think of"). By having the laptop within an arm's length it really cuts down on the entire process.
It's great when you're watching a movie and saying to yourself, 'what else do I know that guy from?' A quick jaunt to IMDB and it's figured out with no problem. It's also handy when you're watching sports. You can look up a guy's stats in the middle of the game. For example, as I'm typing this (from an incredibly comfortable recliner, by the way) I'm watching the Bruins play the Blackhawks. I was just wondering when, exactly, did Chicago trade Roenick to Phoenix? Boom - looked it up with no problems (it was 1996, in case you were wondering). Also, James Naismith was the founder of the Kansas basketball team and thus, they named the court after him. And to think, all this time I never knew he left Springfield.
Ain't technology grand?
-You know, there are a lot of reasons that I'm happy to be a Celtics fan. The team has an unparalleled history, tremendous, loud and knowledgeable fans and a tradition that no one in basketball can question. But, after watching the Celtics play the Cavaliers last night, I'm also happy to be a Celtics fan because of the uniforms. The C's have classic and clean uniforms that haven't changed in years. The Cavaliers have about 10 alternate jerseys, each one uglier than the last. I think I would really hate myself if I had to wear this. I mean, if I was a Cavaliers fan I would still wear it, but I would not be happy with it.
Having Internet access right next to the TV is a great idea, because whenever I watch TV I always have questions that I would like an immediate answer to. But, by the time I finish watching whatever it is, go upstairs, fire up the computer and get online I've completely forgotten what I was going to look at in the first place (fun fact about me: this doesn't mean it's gone forever. In fact, usually it will pop up later when I should be paying attention to something else. I've been in conversations with people and just blurted out: "Robert Loggia. That's the name I was trying to think of"). By having the laptop within an arm's length it really cuts down on the entire process.
It's great when you're watching a movie and saying to yourself, 'what else do I know that guy from?' A quick jaunt to IMDB and it's figured out with no problem. It's also handy when you're watching sports. You can look up a guy's stats in the middle of the game. For example, as I'm typing this (from an incredibly comfortable recliner, by the way) I'm watching the Bruins play the Blackhawks. I was just wondering when, exactly, did Chicago trade Roenick to Phoenix? Boom - looked it up with no problems (it was 1996, in case you were wondering). Also, James Naismith was the founder of the Kansas basketball team and thus, they named the court after him. And to think, all this time I never knew he left Springfield.
Ain't technology grand?
-You know, there are a lot of reasons that I'm happy to be a Celtics fan. The team has an unparalleled history, tremendous, loud and knowledgeable fans and a tradition that no one in basketball can question. But, after watching the Celtics play the Cavaliers last night, I'm also happy to be a Celtics fan because of the uniforms. The C's have classic and clean uniforms that haven't changed in years. The Cavaliers have about 10 alternate jerseys, each one uglier than the last. I think I would really hate myself if I had to wear this. I mean, if I was a Cavaliers fan I would still wear it, but I would not be happy with it.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Man, I Got Chick-Flicked
So, I had wanted to see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist for a while now. It was one of those movies that I wanted to see in the theatres, but I lost the coin flip. By the time I found someone else to go with, it was already out of the theatres (that should have been a sign right there). Instead it was added to the Blockbuster list and I just held off until it showed up in the mail. I should have kept waiting.
The warning signs were all there. First off, because it features a solid amount of people that are from the Judd Apatow stable, I was expecting it to be a raunchier comedy. Not as far as Superbad, but at least to the level of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Turns out that despite having a lot of the same people buzzing in and out of scenes, Apatow is not at all connected to this movie (learn something new everyday -thanks, IMDB). When I saw that it was only rated PG-13, that was the first warning sign. The next sign came in the previews. I'm a big believer that the previews on DVDs are a good indicator of what the movie is going to be. This DVD featured previews for Rent, Center Stage (which is from the "I'm rich and you're poor, but lets dance together" genre) and a commercial for movies to watch during a "Girls' Night In." Crap.
But, since I had waited so long to see this movie, I plowed ahead and watched it anyways. It stars Michael Cera, who is getting dangerously close to being type-cast. He could very well be a one-trick pony who can only play the role of the quiet, awkward and geeky kid. He plays it well, but you can only keep doing that for so long until Hollywood finds another even geekier and awkward guy. Time will tell. It also stars the impossibly cute Kat Dennings, who makes me wish I was just 4 years younger (I have a rule against dating too many years in either direction) and lived in Hollywood. It has a great soundtrack and very good music throughout, as you would expect. That's about where the positive reviews end.
It's not that this was a bad movie, but it wasn't good either. I guess the big complaint is that it wasn't very funny, which is a problem with a movie that is labeled as a comedy. I expected to laugh out loud and I think I only chuckled once or twice during the entire movie. As happens with a lot of movies lately, if you've seen the previews, you've seen the best parts already. Not to mention it gets far too sappy at points, with cheesy lines like:
Norah: Are you sorry we missed it?
Nick: No, this is it.
I guess on the whole it was a cute enough little movie, but not what I was looking forward to or expecting to see. A little too chick-flicky for my tastes. Also, I didn't like the ending (not as a whole, just one aspect of it bugged the hell out of me). In the end, I guess I'll just have to wait and hope I Love You, Man is better.
The warning signs were all there. First off, because it features a solid amount of people that are from the Judd Apatow stable, I was expecting it to be a raunchier comedy. Not as far as Superbad, but at least to the level of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Turns out that despite having a lot of the same people buzzing in and out of scenes, Apatow is not at all connected to this movie (learn something new everyday -thanks, IMDB). When I saw that it was only rated PG-13, that was the first warning sign. The next sign came in the previews. I'm a big believer that the previews on DVDs are a good indicator of what the movie is going to be. This DVD featured previews for Rent, Center Stage (which is from the "I'm rich and you're poor, but lets dance together" genre) and a commercial for movies to watch during a "Girls' Night In." Crap.
But, since I had waited so long to see this movie, I plowed ahead and watched it anyways. It stars Michael Cera, who is getting dangerously close to being type-cast. He could very well be a one-trick pony who can only play the role of the quiet, awkward and geeky kid. He plays it well, but you can only keep doing that for so long until Hollywood finds another even geekier and awkward guy. Time will tell. It also stars the impossibly cute Kat Dennings, who makes me wish I was just 4 years younger (I have a rule against dating too many years in either direction) and lived in Hollywood. It has a great soundtrack and very good music throughout, as you would expect. That's about where the positive reviews end.
It's not that this was a bad movie, but it wasn't good either. I guess the big complaint is that it wasn't very funny, which is a problem with a movie that is labeled as a comedy. I expected to laugh out loud and I think I only chuckled once or twice during the entire movie. As happens with a lot of movies lately, if you've seen the previews, you've seen the best parts already. Not to mention it gets far too sappy at points, with cheesy lines like:
Norah: Are you sorry we missed it?
Nick: No, this is it.
I guess on the whole it was a cute enough little movie, but not what I was looking forward to or expecting to see. A little too chick-flicky for my tastes. Also, I didn't like the ending (not as a whole, just one aspect of it bugged the hell out of me). In the end, I guess I'll just have to wait and hope I Love You, Man is better.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Now, THAT is a Sharp Knob
Have you ever owned the perfect pair of jeans? You know, jeans that you have worn enough that they've conformed to you? They have frayed in the perfect spots, loosened up where they need to and are now just the most comfortable pair of jeans imaginable? I own such a pair. They've been used frequently at work as well as at home and earned their stripes during many shoveling sessions. They are perfectly broken in.
Now, this particular pair of jeans had an extra bonus of being cheap. I don't like to spend a lot of money on clothes. I've never believed that clothes make the man, I believe the man makes the man. As a result, I typically spend 40 bucks to get dressed from head to toe. I've made up a healthy chunk of my wardrobe from the "2 Tee-Shirts for $20" display at Champs Sports. These jeans were a nice cheap Old Navy pair and they had served me well for years.
Lately they had begun to fray and thin out on the legs, particularly mid-thigh on the left side, where I keep my keys (pickpockets, take note!). A small frayed area about the size of a paper clip had developed. Now, I have no problem wearing ripped jeans, as long as it's not in the crotch. I'm not Amish; I have no problem showing off a little thigh. Besides, it was above the pocket, so that was mostly what you saw. But, when doing my laundry the other day I caught the corner of the metal bin that my mom uses to separate her and my dad's laundry and the frayed hole became a full rip. Little did I know, this was the beginning of the end of my jeans. Over the next couple of days and one trip through the wash the hole had gotten bigger, to about the size of golf ball.
Then today I was re-arraigning all the stuff in the bathroom after the cleaning lady had moved every thing around (sidebar: how hard is it to put everything back where it was? It's a guy's-only bathroom. We're talking 2 razors, toothpaste, mouthwash and toothbrushes. Yet, she never puts anything back where it was. I'm not complaining though, just wondering. I'm sure it's not easy or fun to clean a guy's bathroom. Better her than me.). Unbeknownst to me, the hole in my jeans was the perfect size for the knob on the drawer to slip into. And when I turned to walk away....
Damn. Guess I won't be wearing those anymore.
But, at least now you can answer two questions about me:
1. boxers.
2. yes, I have very hairy legs.
Now, this particular pair of jeans had an extra bonus of being cheap. I don't like to spend a lot of money on clothes. I've never believed that clothes make the man, I believe the man makes the man. As a result, I typically spend 40 bucks to get dressed from head to toe. I've made up a healthy chunk of my wardrobe from the "2 Tee-Shirts for $20" display at Champs Sports. These jeans were a nice cheap Old Navy pair and they had served me well for years.
Lately they had begun to fray and thin out on the legs, particularly mid-thigh on the left side, where I keep my keys (pickpockets, take note!). A small frayed area about the size of a paper clip had developed. Now, I have no problem wearing ripped jeans, as long as it's not in the crotch. I'm not Amish; I have no problem showing off a little thigh. Besides, it was above the pocket, so that was mostly what you saw. But, when doing my laundry the other day I caught the corner of the metal bin that my mom uses to separate her and my dad's laundry and the frayed hole became a full rip. Little did I know, this was the beginning of the end of my jeans. Over the next couple of days and one trip through the wash the hole had gotten bigger, to about the size of golf ball.
Then today I was re-arraigning all the stuff in the bathroom after the cleaning lady had moved every thing around (sidebar: how hard is it to put everything back where it was? It's a guy's-only bathroom. We're talking 2 razors, toothpaste, mouthwash and toothbrushes. Yet, she never puts anything back where it was. I'm not complaining though, just wondering. I'm sure it's not easy or fun to clean a guy's bathroom. Better her than me.). Unbeknownst to me, the hole in my jeans was the perfect size for the knob on the drawer to slip into. And when I turned to walk away....
Damn. Guess I won't be wearing those anymore.But, at least now you can answer two questions about me:
1. boxers.
2. yes, I have very hairy legs.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Useless Dreams...
I've never been a big dream guy. I'm sure I have dreams while I'm sleeping, but I rarely remember them the next morning. Once, during a psychology class we had to keep a dream journal. I think I got about 2 actual dreams written down, the rest I had to fake. Personally, I think my mind moves in enough different directions during the day that it should really be resting when I'm asleep.
This could be a guy thing. I don't know any guys that have vivid dreams. Never, in my 29 years on this Earth, has a male friend asked me what his latest dream could mean his subconscious is trying to tell him. Girls, on the other hand, seem to believe their dreams make them psychic. My ex used to have dreams that people died and called them the next day to make sure they were not, in fact, eaten by a lizard.
I mention this only because I remember my dream from last night. I dreamt I went and bought a flat-screen TV for the cottage. I bought it, figured out where to put it and hung it on the wall. End of dream.
Now, other than not wanting to risk putting something as heavy as a flat-screen on the walls of the cottage, the rest of that dream is extremely possible. There was no high speed chase, no jumping, no fighting... none of that. So, in reality, it could be that I don't remember my dreams cause they're boring as hell.
-You know, I have no idea if these College Humor Pranks are real or not, but they are at the very least elaborate...
This could be a guy thing. I don't know any guys that have vivid dreams. Never, in my 29 years on this Earth, has a male friend asked me what his latest dream could mean his subconscious is trying to tell him. Girls, on the other hand, seem to believe their dreams make them psychic. My ex used to have dreams that people died and called them the next day to make sure they were not, in fact, eaten by a lizard.
I mention this only because I remember my dream from last night. I dreamt I went and bought a flat-screen TV for the cottage. I bought it, figured out where to put it and hung it on the wall. End of dream.
Now, other than not wanting to risk putting something as heavy as a flat-screen on the walls of the cottage, the rest of that dream is extremely possible. There was no high speed chase, no jumping, no fighting... none of that. So, in reality, it could be that I don't remember my dreams cause they're boring as hell.
-You know, I have no idea if these College Humor Pranks are real or not, but they are at the very least elaborate...
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Oh, Good... More Snow.
So, on Friday it was 60 degrees and sunny out. It was so nice, I was even able to go golfing for the second time in February (you can read all about it on my other blog, if you're so inclined). We had had a week of weather in the 50's and most of the snow was gone. In fact, we hadn't had that snowy of a February. Silly me, I assumed that meant we were done with winter. Then came word that Sunday we were getting a massive storm. This was a storm that made it snow in Alabama, for God's sakes. What were we, the people who are supposed to get snow, going to do against it? Again, the weathermen and women of our fair city were telling us that we could get 2 - 1500 inches.
As it turns out, we only ended up with 6 inches of snow here (I guess north of the city got pounded, though) and it was the light, fluffy variety, so I was more annoyed at having to dredge out the snow blower for 6 lousy inches of snow than anything else. This has, however, killed any remnants of the spring fever that I had been suffering from. Suddenly golf seems a long way off.
Nope, not done with the snow just yet.
As soon as you clear the cars, the wind just covers them back up.
As it turns out, we only ended up with 6 inches of snow here (I guess north of the city got pounded, though) and it was the light, fluffy variety, so I was more annoyed at having to dredge out the snow blower for 6 lousy inches of snow than anything else. This has, however, killed any remnants of the spring fever that I had been suffering from. Suddenly golf seems a long way off.
Nope, not done with the snow just yet.As soon as you clear the cars, the wind just covers them back up.Don't worry, Jay, you'll get to use your boat around June.
Monday, March 2, 2009
25 Things...
I don't have the FaceBook that is so popular among the kids today, but I don't think it's against the rules to use an idea from there somewhere else. Thus, allow me to present 25 Random Facts about me...
1. In the 6th grade I won an award for most books read in one year. I read 100 books during the school year. Not surprisingly, I was not good at sports in the 6th grade. I thought I was going to get a sweet prize when instead I got a piece of paper explaining that "Thomas" means twin. Suddenly I didn't feel so bad about skimming some sections of those 100 books.
2. Whenever I visit a different city, one of the things I want to do is visit the aquarium. I love going to aquariums. Not as much of a fan of zoos, though (don't ask me why, I don't have a solid reason. Could be you don't have to smell so much animal crap at the aquarium). Best aquarium was in Seattle, which had a glass tunnel into a section of the harbor. Worst? D.C. It was in the basement of a federal building; they had two crocodiles that may have been stuffed, a nurse shark that was acting as if it was drowning and goldfish. That this was in our nation's capital saddened me.
3. My father basically forced me to start using the Internet, telling me that it would change the world. I thought it was nuts. Now, as I write this I have four tabs open, email alerts set up and if I don't check my email and ESPN.com every 20 minutes I break into hives.
4. I own 55 Celtic jerseys/shooting shirts. Frankly, I'm surprised the total isn't higher. Conversely I only own 26 dress shirts. I'm surprised that total isn't lower.
5. I should dress up more, though, cause I do look great when I wear a suit. And that's not even my ego - I've been repeatedly told that. Not that it hasn't helped inflate my ego. So much so that whenever I put on a suit I think that ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man" should be blaring from windows as I walk down the street.
6. Speaking of theme music, if I were ever to make it as a professional baseball player, I would want The Who's "Baba O'Reilley" to be the music that's played as I approached home plate. This decision came after many, many bar room discussions.
7. I've spent the last 3 summers of my life fixing a beach house with my father. This is despite the fact that I don't enjoy going to the beach at all.
8. My first job was working at the Norwood Library, putting the returned books back on the shelves. As someone who likes to put things in their proper place and order it was the perfect job for me. The workforce was me and 5 ladies in their 50's and I was the only one who did any work.
9. My favorite job was working for ESPN's SportsTicker, scoring baseball games. It was the opposite of the library, as it was 8 guys in their early 20's. We worked above a fish pier (during a pretty hot summer) from 9 PM - 5 AM and had blast doing it. We would go to the nearby Seaport Bar while we waited for the west coast games to end. Also we made friends with the guy behind the counter at 7-11 because that was the only place that was open in that area after 2 AM.
10. If you put a gun to my head right now, I would not be able to tell you my favorite musical act. I could narrow it down to the Top 5, but that's the best I could do you for.
11. But you know who wouldn't be in that Top 5? The Charlie Daniel's Band. Yet, for reasons I can't explain, my iPod features both "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" and the far less popular "The Devil Went Back Down to Georgia."
12. I've never tried any drugs in my life, not even pot. It's not that I'm holier-than-thou or have a giant problem with pot, I simply was never even offered it until I was 27 and that's a little old to be starting that habit. I guess I give off too much of a straight-edge vibe. Or maybe drug dealers think I'm a narc. This is especially ironic because...
13. I'm a magnet for cops; to them I give off a drug-dealer vibe. I've been just standing around when cops have rolled up on me and demanded to know where my drugs are hidden. I've also been pulled over for reasons like having a rejection sticker on my car, so that they could look in my back windows for any reason to give me a ticket (that little bitch was dying to catch me for something - too bad for her I even remembered to wear my seatbelt).
14. I'm awful when it comes to matching colors with other colors. (Do brown and purple go together? Beats the hell out of me.) Therefore, I think that different shades of the same color are just fine. Thank God I was living with a girl when I repainted my bedroom or else my walls, carpet and all my furniture would be some shade of green. My room would look like the Riddler's lair.
15. Stupid projects are essential to my existence. I need to be working on something that anyone else would find inconsequential or else I go crazy - the more the better. Currently it's updating my iTunes so that all my music has it's correct album information and getting all my VHS movies on DVD.
16. If, when I go to buy DVDs, there is a special edition of the same movie, I have to get the special edition. Doesn't matter if there is really no difference in the two, I have to get the special edition copy.
17. When I'm looking at used DVDs it bugs the hell out of me if people haven't completely removed all the plastic stickers from around the edges of the DVD. People who simply cut down the middle of the label to open the DVD and leave the rest hanging suck at life.
18. Fuck is my favorite word. Not my favorite swear word, just my favorite word. I use it like some people use the word 'um'. It also gives way to my favorite way to tell someone off: fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Since the invention of the car it doesn't work in society anymore, but I use it anyway.
19. I once broke the pinkie finger on my right hand the night before I was supposed to take the SAT 2's (I guess now they're known as SAT Subject Tests). Unfortunately I was taking the literature one, which featured a large essay writing section. My already distinctive handwriting was even worse than normal. I would have been better off drawing pictures. I still did ok, though.
20. I always did well with tests like that. For the SSAT (the test to get into private high schools) I was in the 99th percentile when it came to the English half. I was perfect in the analogies section - they were my specialty. I was to analogies what Babe Ruth was to:
(please make sure you fill in the bubble on your Scantron completely and see below for answer)
21. Despite my success on the SSAT's, they couldn't have gotten me to go to Xaverian even if they paid me. After 9 years of Catholic school I had had quite enough of no girls and uniforms.
22. I once appeared on the Rick Pitino Show when they were talking to fans about the most memorable games in Celtic's history. I still have the tape floating around here somewhere. I contend my appearance on his show was the high point of his tenure as head coach.
23. Leveling things is not my specialty. I'm always convinced that something looks level, but when I walk by it an hour later I'm amazed at just how far off I really turned out to be. Same thing goes for drawing what I think is a straight line.
24. I've never seen an episode of American Idol. I think I would give it a shot if more of the winners went on great success. Then I would feel like I'm finding a great star. So far, there have only been two with sustained careers. Thus in my eyes, it's nothing more than a giant, televised karaoke contest.
25. I hate everything I write. Hate it. It's the perfectionist in me. Within twenty minutes of finishing something, I will think of a better way to phrase it. As a result I'm rarely ever truly done with something. I have been known to re-write the emails that get sent back when someone replies to me. That's correct, I'll re-write something that someone already read and probably will never read again. I could only imagine what would go through my head if I listened to old radio shows. If you check this post again in two weeks it's entirely possible that 11-14 could be totally different answers.
Answer to #20 = D.
1. In the 6th grade I won an award for most books read in one year. I read 100 books during the school year. Not surprisingly, I was not good at sports in the 6th grade. I thought I was going to get a sweet prize when instead I got a piece of paper explaining that "Thomas" means twin. Suddenly I didn't feel so bad about skimming some sections of those 100 books.
2. Whenever I visit a different city, one of the things I want to do is visit the aquarium. I love going to aquariums. Not as much of a fan of zoos, though (don't ask me why, I don't have a solid reason. Could be you don't have to smell so much animal crap at the aquarium). Best aquarium was in Seattle, which had a glass tunnel into a section of the harbor. Worst? D.C. It was in the basement of a federal building; they had two crocodiles that may have been stuffed, a nurse shark that was acting as if it was drowning and goldfish. That this was in our nation's capital saddened me.
3. My father basically forced me to start using the Internet, telling me that it would change the world. I thought it was nuts. Now, as I write this I have four tabs open, email alerts set up and if I don't check my email and ESPN.com every 20 minutes I break into hives.
4. I own 55 Celtic jerseys/shooting shirts. Frankly, I'm surprised the total isn't higher. Conversely I only own 26 dress shirts. I'm surprised that total isn't lower.
5. I should dress up more, though, cause I do look great when I wear a suit. And that's not even my ego - I've been repeatedly told that. Not that it hasn't helped inflate my ego. So much so that whenever I put on a suit I think that ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man" should be blaring from windows as I walk down the street.
6. Speaking of theme music, if I were ever to make it as a professional baseball player, I would want The Who's "Baba O'Reilley" to be the music that's played as I approached home plate. This decision came after many, many bar room discussions.
7. I've spent the last 3 summers of my life fixing a beach house with my father. This is despite the fact that I don't enjoy going to the beach at all.
8. My first job was working at the Norwood Library, putting the returned books back on the shelves. As someone who likes to put things in their proper place and order it was the perfect job for me. The workforce was me and 5 ladies in their 50's and I was the only one who did any work.
9. My favorite job was working for ESPN's SportsTicker, scoring baseball games. It was the opposite of the library, as it was 8 guys in their early 20's. We worked above a fish pier (during a pretty hot summer) from 9 PM - 5 AM and had blast doing it. We would go to the nearby Seaport Bar while we waited for the west coast games to end. Also we made friends with the guy behind the counter at 7-11 because that was the only place that was open in that area after 2 AM.
10. If you put a gun to my head right now, I would not be able to tell you my favorite musical act. I could narrow it down to the Top 5, but that's the best I could do you for.
11. But you know who wouldn't be in that Top 5? The Charlie Daniel's Band. Yet, for reasons I can't explain, my iPod features both "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" and the far less popular "The Devil Went Back Down to Georgia."
12. I've never tried any drugs in my life, not even pot. It's not that I'm holier-than-thou or have a giant problem with pot, I simply was never even offered it until I was 27 and that's a little old to be starting that habit. I guess I give off too much of a straight-edge vibe. Or maybe drug dealers think I'm a narc. This is especially ironic because...
13. I'm a magnet for cops; to them I give off a drug-dealer vibe. I've been just standing around when cops have rolled up on me and demanded to know where my drugs are hidden. I've also been pulled over for reasons like having a rejection sticker on my car, so that they could look in my back windows for any reason to give me a ticket (that little bitch was dying to catch me for something - too bad for her I even remembered to wear my seatbelt).
14. I'm awful when it comes to matching colors with other colors. (Do brown and purple go together? Beats the hell out of me.) Therefore, I think that different shades of the same color are just fine. Thank God I was living with a girl when I repainted my bedroom or else my walls, carpet and all my furniture would be some shade of green. My room would look like the Riddler's lair.
15. Stupid projects are essential to my existence. I need to be working on something that anyone else would find inconsequential or else I go crazy - the more the better. Currently it's updating my iTunes so that all my music has it's correct album information and getting all my VHS movies on DVD.
16. If, when I go to buy DVDs, there is a special edition of the same movie, I have to get the special edition. Doesn't matter if there is really no difference in the two, I have to get the special edition copy.
17. When I'm looking at used DVDs it bugs the hell out of me if people haven't completely removed all the plastic stickers from around the edges of the DVD. People who simply cut down the middle of the label to open the DVD and leave the rest hanging suck at life.
18. Fuck is my favorite word. Not my favorite swear word, just my favorite word. I use it like some people use the word 'um'. It also gives way to my favorite way to tell someone off: fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Since the invention of the car it doesn't work in society anymore, but I use it anyway.
19. I once broke the pinkie finger on my right hand the night before I was supposed to take the SAT 2's (I guess now they're known as SAT Subject Tests). Unfortunately I was taking the literature one, which featured a large essay writing section. My already distinctive handwriting was even worse than normal. I would have been better off drawing pictures. I still did ok, though.
20. I always did well with tests like that. For the SSAT (the test to get into private high schools) I was in the 99th percentile when it came to the English half. I was perfect in the analogies section - they were my specialty. I was to analogies what Babe Ruth was to:
A. hitting home runs.
B. eating hot dogs.
C. drinking.
D. all of the above.
B. eating hot dogs.
C. drinking.
D. all of the above.
(please make sure you fill in the bubble on your Scantron completely and see below for answer)
21. Despite my success on the SSAT's, they couldn't have gotten me to go to Xaverian even if they paid me. After 9 years of Catholic school I had had quite enough of no girls and uniforms.
22. I once appeared on the Rick Pitino Show when they were talking to fans about the most memorable games in Celtic's history. I still have the tape floating around here somewhere. I contend my appearance on his show was the high point of his tenure as head coach.
23. Leveling things is not my specialty. I'm always convinced that something looks level, but when I walk by it an hour later I'm amazed at just how far off I really turned out to be. Same thing goes for drawing what I think is a straight line.
24. I've never seen an episode of American Idol. I think I would give it a shot if more of the winners went on great success. Then I would feel like I'm finding a great star. So far, there have only been two with sustained careers. Thus in my eyes, it's nothing more than a giant, televised karaoke contest.
25. I hate everything I write. Hate it. It's the perfectionist in me. Within twenty minutes of finishing something, I will think of a better way to phrase it. As a result I'm rarely ever truly done with something. I have been known to re-write the emails that get sent back when someone replies to me. That's correct, I'll re-write something that someone already read and probably will never read again. I could only imagine what would go through my head if I listened to old radio shows. If you check this post again in two weeks it's entirely possible that 11-14 could be totally different answers.
Answer to #20 = D.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Patriot Moves...
When news came down yesterday afternoon that the Patriots had decided to trade Matt Cassel as part of the Mike Vrabel deal to Kansas City which was announce Friday I was struck with two thoughts: 1. Brady's knee must be fine and 2. we had better have gotten paid off in this thing.
I'll take the first one first. Once the NFL announced that the cap was going up this offseason, keeping two quarterbacks making $14 million apiece wasn't so far-fetched. However, even with the cap going up, that's a lot of money to be tied up in one position, especially since you can only play one at a time. But, until the Patriots were sure that Brady's knee was going to be fine, there was no way that Cassel was going anywhere. I guess that answers that question.
The second thought is the reason I'm not happy with this trade. All the Patriots got in return for these two players was a second round pick. We should have gotten a lot more. OK, I understand that with Vrabel moving up in age it could simply be a situation where I think he means more to the Patriots than he would to other teams in the league. That happens all the time in sports. He's perfect for this system so we view him as a better player than the rest of the league, who just sees a 34 year-old linebacker entering the last year of his deal. And Cassel only has a year of starting on his resume, so his value probably isn't as high as the Patriots would have liked it to be. Obviously, I wasn't expecting multiple first rounders. But, being more realistic this still should have brought in multiple middle round picks as well. A 2nd, 5th and conditional 4th next year would have made me much happier with the way this deal went down.
If I'm a Kansas City fan, I'm thrilled here. You got two great locker room guys and two solid pros and all it cost you was a 2nd round draft pick and cap space, which you had in spades anyway. Now, a word of warning: there is a reason that Cassel was almost cut in the preseason. No one remembers this now, but people were mildly surprised that it was Matt Gutierrez that was the last QB cut at the end of camp instead of Cassel. He didn't exactly wow everyone in preseason. And the team had plans to bring in Chris Simms to be Brady's backup, but when Brady got hurt Week 1 they didn't think he would have time to learn the system and had to go with the guy who had been a backup here for 4 years. Let's just remember that next year Cassel will be throwing to Dwayne Bowe, not Randy Moss. If Pioli doesn't make a couple more moves and get some help around the guy then it won't matter how great this deal looks in March.
-Now, to the off-field activity. When I was working at Gillette Stadium we were always working on Saturdays, even in the off-season. There would always be a party with a high maintenance guest who would require we come in and just double-check what we've already double-checked. But the one day that the staff wanted us no where near the place was the day they had cheerleading try-outs. Of course, the one day that we would have happily gone in to help console the girls who didn't make the squad was the one day that the higher-ups made sure there was no need for us. It always would bum me out that I couldn't go watch this spectacle... until today. Maybe I wasn't missing that much after all. Sorry, Shelley, I don't think it's gonna happen for you.
-Oh, and hey, I finally dug the Christmas lights out from under the remaining snow yesterday and got them stored away. Just made it in before March... and the foot of snow we're allegedly getting on Monday.
I'll take the first one first. Once the NFL announced that the cap was going up this offseason, keeping two quarterbacks making $14 million apiece wasn't so far-fetched. However, even with the cap going up, that's a lot of money to be tied up in one position, especially since you can only play one at a time. But, until the Patriots were sure that Brady's knee was going to be fine, there was no way that Cassel was going anywhere. I guess that answers that question.
The second thought is the reason I'm not happy with this trade. All the Patriots got in return for these two players was a second round pick. We should have gotten a lot more. OK, I understand that with Vrabel moving up in age it could simply be a situation where I think he means more to the Patriots than he would to other teams in the league. That happens all the time in sports. He's perfect for this system so we view him as a better player than the rest of the league, who just sees a 34 year-old linebacker entering the last year of his deal. And Cassel only has a year of starting on his resume, so his value probably isn't as high as the Patriots would have liked it to be. Obviously, I wasn't expecting multiple first rounders. But, being more realistic this still should have brought in multiple middle round picks as well. A 2nd, 5th and conditional 4th next year would have made me much happier with the way this deal went down.
If I'm a Kansas City fan, I'm thrilled here. You got two great locker room guys and two solid pros and all it cost you was a 2nd round draft pick and cap space, which you had in spades anyway. Now, a word of warning: there is a reason that Cassel was almost cut in the preseason. No one remembers this now, but people were mildly surprised that it was Matt Gutierrez that was the last QB cut at the end of camp instead of Cassel. He didn't exactly wow everyone in preseason. And the team had plans to bring in Chris Simms to be Brady's backup, but when Brady got hurt Week 1 they didn't think he would have time to learn the system and had to go with the guy who had been a backup here for 4 years. Let's just remember that next year Cassel will be throwing to Dwayne Bowe, not Randy Moss. If Pioli doesn't make a couple more moves and get some help around the guy then it won't matter how great this deal looks in March.
-Now, to the off-field activity. When I was working at Gillette Stadium we were always working on Saturdays, even in the off-season. There would always be a party with a high maintenance guest who would require we come in and just double-check what we've already double-checked. But the one day that the staff wanted us no where near the place was the day they had cheerleading try-outs. Of course, the one day that we would have happily gone in to help console the girls who didn't make the squad was the one day that the higher-ups made sure there was no need for us. It always would bum me out that I couldn't go watch this spectacle... until today. Maybe I wasn't missing that much after all. Sorry, Shelley, I don't think it's gonna happen for you.
-Oh, and hey, I finally dug the Christmas lights out from under the remaining snow yesterday and got them stored away. Just made it in before March... and the foot of snow we're allegedly getting on Monday.
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