Shouldn't She Be Less Attractive?

So, the other night I was watching Point Break, cause that's the level of fine cinema I enjoy. It's actually not a bad movie and, in terms of personal performance, it's probably in the Top 5 for both Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze (you can make a case for Gary Busey as well). But, the whole thing was brought down by Lori Petty. It's not that she's particularly un-attractive, but if you expect me to believe that Keanu Reeves is willing to jump out of a plane without a parachute for a girl, you need to do better than the flat-chested woman with the 12 year-old boy's haircut. They just really should have cast a hotter girl, is all.

This has happened before, of course. In Troy, the woman who was playing Helen, the face that launched a thousand ships, was the second prettiest person in any of her scenes because she was acting with Orlando Bloom. In the end, I'll give her a pass because, face facts - Orlando's just a pretty man. What are you going to do?

But, as I was laying in bed I began to think about the movies were the roles went the other way - you know, roles where the woman were too attractive to be believable. [author's note: see what happens when I don't fall asleep within 45 seconds of getting into bed? This is where my mind starts to drift to and then I don't go to sleep until 4 am thinking about shitty movies.] So, here are a few examples, in no particular order:

• Sandra Bullock, The Net. She's a shut-in and a computer nerd, but I'm expected to believe that she's still that cute? No way. She needed to be 50 pounds heavier and with more cats. Also, that movie was dated in about 6 months. Not related to the topic by any means, but still worth mentioning.


• Michael Michele, The 6th Man. I have been on my fair share of press rows and in a good amount of press boxes; the women there are not this hot. They are more like 6's or 7's, who get elevated due to the lack of any other women in the area... it's like prison that way.


• Michelle Rodriguez, S.W.A.T. Never would have made this list if I didn't actually watch shows like Dallas: S.W.A.T. (told you, fine cinema). If you watch that show you realize how unlikely it would be that this 5'5" girl would be on a SWAT team, no matter how tough she may be.


• Rosario Dawson, Clerks II. I have been to more than enough fast food restaurants to declare with confidence that girls this attractive do not work in fast food. Trust me, I would eat more fast food if they did. I still contend she was put in this role because the movie studio wouldn't fund production unless Kevin Smith cast a big star.


• Tyra Banks, Coyote Ugly. You know, I went to the Boston Coyote Ugly when it was still open near the Garden. Let's just say within 5 minutes I was looking for a refund for false advertising. There is a reason the bar closed down.

The trend lately has been to take attractive women and make them less attractive in an effort to make them more believable (Monster, Frida) and yeah, I'm not for that at all. I'd much rather sit there and think a girl is too hot than not hot enough; it makes for the much more enjoyable viewing experience.