Seemed Important At The Time

This morning I realised that it's probably better I don't have a time machine. It is good that I am comfortable with this revelation, because it is very unlikely I will ever have access to one and I would be best served by coming to grips with that reality now. Not that it was ever likely. Frankly, I'm not sure where to begin if I were to construct one and oh yeah, I'm not a scientist nor have I done any research into time-travel. I can't even use one of my friends' time machines. To the best of my knowledge, none of them (another hurdle is that there is not even a scientist among that group) are close to making one either. Furthering the proof I will never have a time machine is the fact that if I had invented it or somehow gained access to one, I'm pretty sure I would have shown up and given it to the past version of myself at some point during the previous couple of years.

You may be wondering why I only figured this out this morning. Well, it has to do with the price of gasoline. There is a gas station near my house that always has the lowest price on gas. Always - never fails. Not only do they have the lowest prices, but they will take an additional few cents off if you are willing to pay cash for your fuel. (Apparently they have to pay a small fee for every credit card transaction and would rather pass the saving from a cash transaction on to us.) Well, this morning I needed gas and didn't have any cash on me, but I still went to the always-cheap station, where I paid $3.09 for a gallon of gas. After fueling up I went on down the road, and almost immediately I passed a second gas station, where the sign out front said gas was $3.04 a gallon. Son of a... Apparently the 'always cheap' station has decided that they don't want to be too cheap and no longer feels the need to be the lowest priced station around for people paying with their credit or debit cards. Had I been able to pay cash I would been under the second station, but as I paid with a card I lost out on five cents in savings. Driving passed the station I couldn't help but think, "Oh, if only I could go back in time ten minutes to give myself a heads up."

And that was the moment I figured out a time machine would be wasted in my hands. Because that is the kind of stupid things I would do: bend the laws of space, time and physics to travel back in time and save myself thirty cents. I wouldn't go back and save lives or stop wars. [Sidebar: Louis C.K. does a very funny bit about why people shouldn't assume that just because they are from the future they would suddenly be able to stop wars. Look it up if you have the time.] Instead, I would constantly go back and warn myself to not do things like having a tuna fish sub on my way to my cousin's wedding (which I then missed due to food poisoning) or to avoid watching last year's Game 7, as the ending was too painful. (Maybe, eventually, I'd get to stopping the wars. But I'd have to finish my own list first.) So, it appears my missteps are permanent. Either that, or future me is waiting until I am in serious need of his help - like paying 10 cents too much for a gallon of gas.