Glove Love

A couple of weeks ago we got four or five inches of heavy, wet snow and at the time I commented that I would rather have two feet of the light and fluffy stuff than even two inches of this type of snow. Well, apparently Mother Nature not only read that, she was in the mood to call me on that proclamation as it snowed all day yesterday and into this morning, with this area getting well over a foot of light snow and the North Shore getting closer to two feet. The good news is that after getting out there and clearing all the snow away I can confidently reaffirm my belief because while there is a lot of snow and I am not quite sure where we are going to put it all, cleaning up after this storm was a much better experience than storms which have produced half as much snow. Honestly the hardest part of today was getting the snowblower started because even though it was tuned-up a couple of weeks ago and had previously started without any problems it did not want to fire up this afternoon. I can only assume it is talking to the lawnmower because it took me about twenty pulls on the rope to get it started (although at least once it was running it stayed running). Once I was running it was just a matter of figuring out how high to throw the snow so that it would fly far enough so that I wouldn't be dealing with the same flakes over and over again but not so high that it was hitting the wind and coming back into my face. Once that was established I breezed through the remaining snow. It was so easy, in fact, that I had some time to zone out and start staring at my hands, which was when I noticed something on my hand.

Towards the end of last winter I declared that I needed some new gloves. My old Patriots gloves, which have served me well for the better part of a decade were simply too worn out. The padding had worn so thin on the inside that they weren't no longer doing much to keep my hands warm and, even worse, there were a couple of small tears on one of the fingers which allowed water to get in and soak through, meaning rather than keep my hands warm these gloves were actually making my hands wet and cold. Now, I am sure the bargain hunters out there would tell me that the best time to buy gloves is the summer because that is when they would be the cheapest but stores since I have larger than average hands I wanted to try them on before I bought them and stores don't usually have winter gloves on display in August. I started looking in the fall and actually found a great pair of gloves in October - they fit and were only $12 which is exactly how much I wanted to spend on gloves - but for reasons I still can't explain I talked myself out of them. Of course when I went back to get them they were long gone and, even worse, now all the gloves were $20, which the stubborn part of my brain would not allow me to spend since I had seen what I wanted for less than that. I thought I was screwed but that was only because I forgot that I would have to Christmas shopping and there are few things in life which are more guaranteed than the fact I will find something for myself while shopping for others. So, not only did I find a pair of gloves which fit while trying to find a present for my brother they were on clearance and right in my price range. This snowstorm was my first chance to try them out and I am quickly starting to realize that I may have bought gloves which are too fancy for me.

First off, my new gloves have zippers around the wrists where they can attach to something - I assume the sleeves of a ski jacket so that you won't lose them should you wipe out on the mountain and have snow slide down into your shirt. That is the biggest clue that perhaps my new gloves are intended to be involved with an activity which is far more complicated than I will ever undertake (thanks to big feet, bad knees and terrible balance I do not ski). But even though the zippers make me feel as though I am not using my gloves to their full potential, at least I can explain their existence. While I was snowblowing I noticed a random piece of foam on the right index finger. It's not particular big - only about a quarter in wide, the same high and two inches long - and I can not, for the life of me, figure out its purpose. If it were on both hands I could try and say that it was meant to be a fashion statement or part of the design but the fact that it is only on the right hand means it has a specific purpose and I just don't know what it is. Going with the premise that these are heavy-duty skiing gloves I tried to think of a logical application which would come in handy on the slopes but nothing comes to mind. Again, if it were on both hands I would say that it was for gripping purposes but I have never heard of anybody skiing with just one pole (at least, not on purpose anyway). My next guess was it was meant to provide a place to hold your phone in place but there is nothing in the fingertips which would make texting easier. Also it can't be additional padding because this tiny strip of foam isn't saving any finger bone attached to a person falling down a mountain. I'm stumped.

Obviously I could do a little Googling and find the real answer in short order but I'm not going to for a couple of reasons. The first is that I am enjoying coming up with my own theories as to what this random piece of tiny foam is supposed to do. But the main reason is that I shouldn't have to because no part of gloves, no matter how extreme the conditions they are meant to deal with, should be this complicated. Look, I know adding extras we don't need to items which are supposed to be simple is kind of what we do now but at some point all you are doing are messing with perfection. While we may need to continue to tinker with different materials to make hand stay as warm as possible, I feel confident in saying that we nailed the design of gloves years ago. It is like the toothbrush I bought a couple years ago which had three different kinds of bristles and an ergonomic thumb groove - just because you can add all this stuff it doesn't mean you should. Now, I assume that if I had bought these gloves new (I assume they are last season's model) there would have been a tag attached which pointed out all the features. However, we aren't talking about some kind of complicated electronic component - as long as they fit on my hands and keep them warm while shoveling it is all that matters. In other words, I shouldn't need instructions for my gloves. The other thing is that I tend to keep my gloves for a really long time so part of me is just hoping to slow this trend down before I buy my next pair in a few years and can't even figure out how to put them on. Because as much as I enjoy the phrase "that's too much car for you" if it ever gets to the point when there is too much glove for me to handle I think it will be time to move to a warmer climate.