Inspection Time, Take 2

I admit, I probably have an unusual interest in numbers. I strongly believe that certain numbers should be considered unlucky and I want nothing to do with them. I found most people don't pay attention to numbers during the everyday details and so my interest probably comes off as even weirder than it should. Six is a great number. Seven, however, sucks. It is because of my love of the number six and loathing of the number seven that I made sure to have my car inspected early enough that should it need repair, I could still get a number six for my inspection sticker (I know they're supposed to give you the number of the month you failed, regardless of when you get re-tested, but not all mechanics are stringent about that. They think they're helping you out by giving you an extra month.). Anyways, it is because I gave myself enough time that I was down trying to get my car re-inspected on the last day of the month, which is like going to the post office on April 15th to mail a package that doesn't have to be anywhere until June. Sure, you can do it that day, but it's not a good idea.

I first rolled up to the place where I failed last week only to find three cars ahead of me. The head mechanic told me it would be at least a half an hour before they got to my car. Not wanting to just sit around I drove off to do an errand, returned 40 minutes later and discovered two of those same cars still sat in front of me. Never mind, I would be back later. I went home, had some lunch and came back after a couple hours, determined to just get this inspection process over with. There was only one car ahead of me in the bay, so I wouldn't be waiting long. But, when that car finished the guy who would be doing my inspection (same as last week) came out and asked if he could just do a quick tire rotation on another car before he got to me. It would take five minutes. I agreed, trying to build up some goodwill with this guy. He finally got to me 20 or so minutes later and drove my truck into the bay.

I would like to take this opportunity to say that I don't even think they re-test cars when they come in after failing the first time. I think they just assume you went ahead and fixed whatever the problem was. I didn't hear a peep out of that bay the entire time my truck was in there. For all I know he went out back to have a smoke. This suspicion was half-confirmed when he drove my truck back out, with it's new street-legal sticker on the windshield. We then had the following conversation. (What I said is in normal font, what I thought is in bold):

Him: Hey, you got the front break pads done.
Me: Uh, yeah. Cause you told me I had to. You failed me for it before.
Him: Well, you're all good now.
Me: And here it comes...
Him: But.
Me: I knew it.
Him: You need to keep an eye on those front tires.
Me: I'm stunned you didn't fail me for them last time.
Him: I didn't say nothing about them before...
Me: Is it because if you failed me for them today, after passing them seven days ago you can tell I'll shove a pen through your eye?
Him: But you're gonna need new ones soon.
Me: Yeah, I had a ball joint problem a while back so...
Him: Don't say nothing, just go.
Me: Oh, ok. Why, is the asshole who let them pass last time gonna hear? It was you! Now you're all about doing me a favor? Why didn't you let my brake pads go then!

In the end, however, it all worked out. I've passed my inspection and I am done with the process for another year. I just need to scope out yet another place to try for next June.

I Work Best on a Deadline...

Because of my time in radio, I'm used to getting stuff done quickly. I was often handed a piece of audio to cut up and when I asked when they needed it by, the answer was usually, "Uh... now?" As a result I'm quite good when I have no time to pull stuff together. That doesn't mean that I can't do stuff until the last minute, it just means that I do my best work when I have no time to wonder about re-doing it over and over until it's absolutely perfect. Thinking only gets in the my way.

I bring this up because the Notorious EJR and her betrothed recently put up their wedding website and due to the counter on that site it was brought to my attention their wedding is in a little more than 100 days. Now, I get to bring a date to this wedding, which promises to be a rip-roaring good time. And so it occurred to me that I've got to get a move on, cause a wedding isn't exactly 2nd or 3rd date material. Plus, I would hate to do that to Liz and Simon. 35 years from now when they're looking at wedding pictures I would hate to be the person who brought the random girl who no one remembers her name. I've got to get a move on if I'm going to have a nice foundation laid down by September when I'll be solidifying plans.

-There's a fight brewing over what to do with Michael Jackson's children. There are lots of questions from who is the mother of the youngest child, to what sort of parental rights does the biological mother of the oldest two have. Jackson's mother wants to keep the kids together and with her, but she's got to be in her 80's and it's not like her kids turned out normal. It's going to be a mess. Personally, I feel I have the perfect solution: give the kids to Kate Gosselin. Seriously, she has an army of nannies, the kids would always have a playmate and she knows how to handle the paparazzi. They need to replace Jon anyway; this will re-invigorate the show. That arrangement would work.

-Bernie Madoff was sentenced today to 150 years in prison. Really, the guy is 71 years old - just shoot him. People don't care about the prison term, they just want their money back.

-Remember how I was sort of anti-Celtic Cheerleader when they first announced a team was being formed? Yeah, that feeling has gone away.

Yeah, I got nothing...

It's not easy to have something to write about every single day. But, I said I would post everyday for the calendar year of 2009 and so I shall. Today is just one of those days when I've got 10,000 little thoughts, but nothing worth devoting three paragraphs to. Instead, here's a video to pass the time.



-I'm not sure what having Maroon 5 play at your wedding is more indicative of: how much money you must have to be able to pull that off, or just how far Maroon 5 has fallen.

-Does this count as number three and a half? Seriously, can we be done with death for the week now?

A Week's Worth of Weird in One Post...

I've sort of clumped them all together, to save you the time of checking around for them yourself:

-Their loss to the United States has been eased by the fact that the U.S. then went on to beat Spain, proving that the U.S. isn't quite so inept at soccer. So I would imagine getting their hotel rooms robbed by the hookers they hired has gone back to being the lowest point for the Egyptian National Team. And they were doing so well after beating Italy.

-The whole point of a random drug test is to try to catch you off guard, not giving someone time to set up a way around the test. Also, if someone refuses to take a test, I can see how that would look bad and you could mark that up as a positive test. I'm all for keeping sports clean, but there should be limits. Banning a guy for two years because he won't come in to test and would rather spend the night with his girlfriend seems excessive is all. Weren't these drug officials ever 24 years old? Maybe she isn't in the mood much and he had to strike while the iron was hot. Jees, have a heart.

-You don't have to read the whole article about the home-schooled kids in Georgia who have started their own football team. I just want you to look at this picture. How come no one, not even the guy printing up the sign, caught that? Honestly, aren't the home-schooled kids usually the best spellers?

You know, besides the mental self-competition, exercise and fresh air, another great reason to take up golf is because it's where all the crazy shit goes down:

-Etiquette is a huge part of golf. So if these 3 guys were in fact slow playing then they should have let the guy by himself play through. He's absolutely right about that part. The "morally obligated to destroy them" part, however, isn't quite covered anywhere in the rules.

-My uncles enjoy a good joke as much as the next lot. But, leaving someone after they've had ten beers and letting him try to drive home in a golf cart is a line even they wouldn't (probably) cross.

-Donald Trump: once again proving that beggars can, in fact, be choosers. You know, my nieces do this with crayons. They want a crayon, any crayon, but then you give them a yellow crayon and they suddenly want a red crayon. However, they're 2. Whats Donald's excuse?

Lastly, this is the latest video to sweep the Internet. Personally, it has too much Allen Iverson, not enough Mike Gundy's "I'm a Man!" for my tastes. But, it still has a catchy beat to it. Enjoy.

A Little Audio Stimulation...

I'm not a big Michael Jackson fan. I don't get the people who cried at his very appearance. But, I know that there are people out there (Elizabeth Jane Robbins, for one) who are upset at his untimely death. So, with them in mind, I'm getting annoyed with how the media are now referring to Jackson as the "Self Proclaimed" King of Pop - no, it was you people who called him that back in the day and you know what, he was. This wasn't like when Terence Trent D'Arby was declared the next big thing - this was real.

People forget how big a deal Michael Jackson was in the late 80's and into the early 90's. When they wanted to do "We are the World" they essentially just corralled everyone from the American Music Awards before they had a chance to go home and brought them all into one studio. In that room full of the biggest stars of the time (Bruce Springsteen, Lionel Richie, Cyndi Lauper, Kenny Rogers, Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Hall and Oates... Dan Aykroyd), it was Jackson that was the unquestioned biggest star there. Jackson was the icon among icons in his day. The fact that he went off the rails later in his life skews this fact, but for a time he was the biggest star on the planet. The moonwalk was a transcendent moment in pop culture. Hell, my sisters even had Michael Jackson action figures (convenient, cause they fit into the Barbie Porsche).

Now, later in life he clearly went a little nuts. If we were to find out in 5 years that Jackson faked his death to escape huge debt and have unprecedented sales for a "Resurrection" tour (with Tupac as an opener), that wouldn't surprise me in the least. But, for now we'll just assume he's really dead. So, with all that in mind, here are my favorite Michael Jackson songs, not in any specific order... and not all done by Michael Jackson. Think of it as a way to show his influence.

NBA Ramblings...

-Of course the Celtics are shopping Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo. There are only so many pieces that would be attractive to other teams and you have to see what you can get for them - sentimentality be damned. Allen has a huge expiring contract and Rondo is young, cheap and talented. It isn't like the phone is ringing off the hook for people looking to talk about Big Baby Davis. Plus, you can't move Pierce at this point, he has tenure; and you won't move Garnett, unless you want to go back to the days of drawing 10,000 people to an 18,000 seat building. That leaves Allen, Rondo and Scals' contract as filler.

-I will say this, though: I don't really like Danny's history on draft night. He has this really bad habit of making a deal 4 hours before the draft instead of sitting back and seeing how things unfold first. When you have that many bad teams picking ahead of you, it's never a bad idea to wait and see how (not if) they'll screw up.

-Due to my pre-Celtic love of Kevin Garnett, I will always have a soft spot for the Timberwolves. And, since they have added Gomes and Jefferson they are essentially the Celtics' Western Conference Branch. But, just when I thought I couldn't like them more, they add my favorite Lithuanian, Darius Songaila. Nicely done. Doesn't change the fact that they now own the 5th and 6th picks in a draft where there are only 4 good players, but I'm a fan anyways.

-Congrats on getting Shaq, LeBron. Now you've pretty much screwed yourself. If you still don't win a title next season, people will start to wonder just what the hell you need to win one. If you manage to win a title then it will be more about Shaq getting his fifth then you getting your first. You'll be right where Dwayne Wade is now and Kobe was until about two weeks ago: people will view it as Shaq championship with you as the side kick. That should do wonders for your plan to make yourself a global icon. I know every kid on my block had a pair of Pippen sneakers...

-While Cleveland got better, which is not good for the Celtics, at least the Bucks got even weaker and the Spurs got better by adding Richard Jefferson. While I don't think he was ever as good as people would have us believe (playing with Jason Kidd in his prime always helps... ask Kenyon Martin) he's still better than what was left of Bruce Bowen's career. Anything that strengthens a challenger to the Lakers is a good thing in my mind.

-Despite the Celtics not having a pick in the first round of tonight's draft, I'm actually interested to see how things shape up. I said it around the NFL draft: every fan thinks they could be a GM and this is their chance to spout about how they never would have drafted that guy. Plus, everyone will be looking to sell off expiring contracts and big names that they over-paid for. Should make for lots of deals, which is when the NBA is the most interesting.

Thanks for Doing Me a Solid, Mother Nature...

As I've said before, I'm anti-light when it comes time for bed. There are some people who can fall asleep with the windows open and the TV on in the middle of the day - I am just not one of those people. I tried to keep it as dark as possible in my room. This is made harder because any light that manages to creep into my room feels even brighter, just due to the lack of any other light source.

For a while now I have contemplated going with curtains in addition to the mini-blinds that now cover my windows. Sure, it seems excessive, but it is a great way to ensure that I'll be able to achieve the cave-like conditions that make it easier for me to fall asleep. It was especially difficult during this winter as a full moon and freshly-fallen snow made for a reflective show that was the equivalent of pointing a search light into my windows.

But, as with Spring herself, a new season brings new solutions. Turns out that of the multitude of tree branches that surround my house, most aren't dead as I thought all winter. And now as the season gets further on and thanks to the month or so of rain we have had, the trees are doing quite well. They have filled in nicely with leaves. Leaves that provide a nice block to the moonlight while I'm trying to go to bed. Leaves = Nature's Curtains.

-First they let Jimmy Buffet name their stadium, and now the Miami Dolphins are going to be partly owned by Gloria Estefan. Well, they may not win many football games (sorry, Dolphin fans, but the groaning you're about to hear is what happens when everyone has an offseason to plan for the wildcat and Chad Pennington is your starting quarterback), but at least halftime entertainment is taken care of for the foreseeable future.

Inspection Time

I have terrible luck with getting my car inspected. It could be because typically my cars are a few years older, have more wear and tear on them and therefore more tiny problems build up. But mostly it's because I seem to get stuck with the one inspector who has decided that he needs to be extra thorough with my car as it enters the bay, even if the sign next to his bay says "Cash Only. No Acceptions" (and this is the kind of mind that gets to decide what cars can stay on the road). It's almost as if I win the worst kind of lottery every June. So, I'll stand outside the inspection bay, pacing like an expectant father, just waiting to see if my little baby will come out with a shiny new "6" sticker or a big old "R."

Going into this year, I expected to fail. I had a ball joint problem a couple months back and I was fully convinced that the mechanic would fail me for having a strange wear pattern on my tires. This is the shit that I think about which keeps me up at night. Also, I had to try and find a new shop to go to because I seem to pick the shady mechanics. The family mechanic, who I trust completely, doesn't have the equipment to do inspections and so every year I'm forced to try someplace different. I should have known right off the bat that this guy was going to try and screw with me. When he first got in, my truck wouldn't start. Everest has always been quite good at starting for me on the first turn of the key. This just goes to prove that my car, much like an animal, can sense evil. Now, normally the worse thing that can happen is that your car will come out of the bay with a rejection sticker on it. Today I discovered a worse thing: the mechanic comes out of the bay and waves you over, saying, "I need to show you something."

Turns out that I have almost no brake pad left on my front tires, so he'll be failing me for that. Alright, I can see where that would be an issue. But, no other safety issues, so at least my tires weren't the problem. In fact, he told me, he could fit me in today to get my break pads fixed. No thanks, I replied, I would be going to my family's mechanic. It was at that time that he informed me I would also be failing my emissions test, because he couldn't hook my car up with the computer. Apparently I have a short somewhere. Now I began to turn a distinct shade of purple, because while I can't be sure that he was willing to let the emissions failure slide if I paid him to fix my brakes, it damn sure felt that way. The timing was just too convenient. Told you I find the shady mechanics.

So here I sit, with a car that has failed inspection in two ways, which is the maximum number of ways you can fail inspection. The only saving grace is that this year's inspection sticker was going to be red anyways, so at least the big red "R" on my windshield isn't nearly as noticeable.

U.S. Open Ramblings

-Holy crap that was a long couple of days. You know, I like watching golf, but even I have limits. If this thing had gone to a playoff I may have bailed (no... I wouldn't have, you're right). But the happiest people in the world right now are the people who bought Thursday tickets (which are usually a lot cheaper than Sunday tickets) and yet got to come back to watch the final round. Turned out to be a wise investment. Also, the USGA doesn't have to issue refunds now. Everyone wins.

-After watching so much coverage of golf the last 5 days and as a byproduct so many golf commercials, I am now an expert on the new Lexus (though, I still don't get why you would be running from people if you own one), Cialis, FloMax (at this point, you can consult me or your doctor before using either) and Taylor Made Burner Drivers.

-Sorry, Tiger, you can blame me for this one. I picked you to win it all, not only in this blog, but also as the number one pick on my fantasy golf team (yes, I play fantasy golf - what of it?) which almost assured that you wouldn't win. It was a double jinx that would have been hard for anyone to overcome. Also, you got screwed from the jump with the draw. I'll keep my mouth shut next month about the British Open.

-I will, however, applaud my pick of David Duval for that same team. I look awfully smart after he finished tied for second. We'll leave the rest of my picks quiet, with good reason.

-For a minute there it looked as if Phil Mickelson was going to pull out a shocking come-from-behind win. Instead, it's his record fifth time finishing in second place. He had the best quote about it though: "Certainly I'm disappointed but now that it's over, I've got more important things going on." Well said.

-I should have been rooting for Ricky Barnes since he is the son of a former Patriots player. But, the collapse that Barnes experienced was expected and so it's hard to root for someone you just know is about to implode. Duval, Mickelson and Woods all trying to make it interesting were the more compelling story lines.

-Every week it seems like the golf announcers pick one word to say over and over again, when a simpler version of the same word will do. This week's word was fescue. God forbid they just say grass.

-I will say this, Twitter got a little more interesting this week with Dan Jenkins Twittering from the course. Who says old people won't embrace technology?

Happy Father's Day!!

I want to wish all the Dad's out there a very Happy Father's day, but especially one man in particular and that would be my Dad. So, we're going to take a little trip down memory lane.
(again, all photos thanks to my uncle Mike's Flickr account).

The point of this picture isn't to show how young and in love my parents were, it's just to show you that there was actually a time when my dad didn't have a full beard. Sweet sideburns, though.

As you can see from this picture at my christening, I inherited my ability to look good in a suit from my dad. Also, from his uncomfortable stance you can see where I also got my love of having my picture taken.

Let me sum up exactly what's going on in my dad's head when this picture was taken:
"I don't care what's in that box, as long as there are no decals..."

The King on his throne.
Those Granddaughters can make you do almost anything.

I'm not sure how I fully say thanks to a man who taught me everything from how to change a tire and put up sheet rock, to the importance of sequences and picking your battles, but here's the best I can do:

I love you, Dad!!

Why I Hate Lawyers...

Here's a couple stories to remind you of why the legal system in this country is so clogged.

-In the early days of the Internet, I was quite the music downloader. But over the last couple of years, I've scaled it back a lot. There's not any one reason why I did this, more like several factors converging together. It could be that I'm maturing and now realize that downloading music is wrong. It also might be that I can't find a safe program to download music and I'm paranoid that my computer is going to get infected with a nasty virus (this is also what stops me from picking women up in bars). Another factor could be that there is less and less music worth hunting for. Seriously, most of what's coming out lately is shit. But, the main factor is probably that my luck is the type which sees my car fail inspection for the emergency brake holding to only 1300 rpm, not 1500, while most times cars get through without that even getting tested. And, since I don't have an extra $2 million sitting around, I should probably not risk it.

Ok, I get the basic premise that artist are allowed to be compensated for their work. I'm all for that. But, let's not get crazy. No song, not even "Stairway to Heaven," is worth $80,000. The music industry is always complaining that illegal downloading is killing the record companies. I've seen many episodes of MTV's Cribs - these people aren't hurting that much. Also, maybe if they didn't spend thousands of dollars on legal fees as they go after single moms with no means to pay ridiculous settlements then their books would look a little better.

-Usually I'm reluctant to judge people before I've had a chance to meet them. I like to make my own judgement on people. Just cause you think that someone is hilarious, it doesn't mean I'm going to find that person funny. However, there are exceptions. For example, unless I find out that this guy will be giving all this settlement money away to charity (breast cancer research jumps to mind) then I'm willing to concede that he and I wouldn't want to hang out.

The 80's View of the Future

-I'm always amused when I watch movies that were made in the late 80's or early 90's which were supposed to take place "in the future." The original Transformers cartoon movie was made in 1986, but took place in the distance future of the year 2005. Apparently, they really thought our space travel and hover board technology was going to take off over the next 20 years. I'm sad to say that 4 years ago I still wasn't able to go to the moon for the hell of it. Freejack, a terrible movie that has been on Starz the last couple of weeks, was made in 1992 and takes place in 2009, a time of flying cars and computers that can re-create near perfect versions of Anthony Hopkins. I guess classically trained actors are harder to come by now. But, my all-time favorite was Demolition Man. Released in 1993, the movie opens in 1996, where Los Angeles has devolved into a lawless war zone. Apparently the writers were expecting people to get a lot more pissed when they found out the Raiders were moving back to Oakland.

These movie do bring up a glaring problem with the human race. It seems like we've sort of come to a stalemate when it comes to new technology. No one looks to invent new stuff anymore, just improve on the old stuff. No one works on flying cars, just cars that run on electricity. We were supposed to have that stuff in the 70's. Also, I'm willing to bet no one even worries about the hover boards anymore. Basically, I just want to know where my jet pack is?

-Ok, I've talked about it before: I don't smoke pot. Never have. However, if you want to indulge, I'm not one to judge; we all have our vices (mine = peanut butter cups). But, when you have 200 lbs of pot in your truck, then you may have a problem.

-It's a good time to be a golf enthusiast. Golf has been hit harder than almost any other sport in America and people are desperate to keep the courses busy. As a result, there are tons of deals to be had at really nice courses. Just yesterday I was mailed a coupon for a half-off special at Norwood Country Club. Two golfers, with a cart, just $50 for 18 holes. The only catch is that they're trying to pull more couples in, so it needs to be a man and woman. What do you think my odds are of talking one of my golf buddies into wearing a wig?

An Irish Phone Call

My grandmother used to drive my dad crazy when she would tell "Irish" stories. She would start by asking him if he knew a certain person. Whoever it was almost always had a Polish last name because, as a Lithuanian, my father was expected to know everyone in the town that was either Polish or Lithuanian. Of course, he usually didn't know them. We Rakauskas men aren't the kind of people who remember names. (Faces, we do ok with. Names? No such luck. It's forgotten almost as soon as your back is turned. Don't take it personally.) But she would push on, because the person was from south Norwood. My father, having grown up in south Norwood, was also expected to know everyone else from south Norwood. Still, usually he didn't know them.

"Sure you do," my grandmother would continue, "He lives on Cottage Street (still don't know him). He worked for the town (drawing a blank). He has brown hair. His mother lived on St. George's Ave (still no). He's related to that woman who works at the library. He married a Murphy." Finally my father would act like he knew, just to keep the conversation moving.
"Oh, right," he would say. "I know who you're talking about."
"Well," my grandmother would continue, "He died last week."

This conversation style did not end with my grandmother. My mother does it and so does my aunt. They're always checking the obituaries to see who's dead in Norwood. [note: I know for a fact this is not something only my family does. When my co-worker's mother passed away, people he hadn't talked to in years showed up at the wake after reading the obits.] And, unfortunately, I have some of the habits already showing up with me. If the phone rings after 10 pm at night, I assume the worst.

But yesterday my aunt took it up a notch: she called looking for directions in a cemetery. She wanted to check that no one was messing with any of my grandparents' graves. So, my father had to give her directions from one headstone to another. That, my friends, is an Irish phone call.

Sports Quickies and a Time Killer

-Holy crap, time flies. ESPN was running a retrospective look at the O.J. Simpson slow-speed chase because it occurred 15 years ago today. This was one of those moments in time that people all seem to remember where they were as it was happening. You know what I remember about it? That I didn't watch any of it. I was sleeping over my buddy Frank's house that night and we watched stupid action movies all night. Didn't hear a thing about it until the next day. Even 15 years ago I wasn't up on my current events.

-Speaking of California, I will never understand the need to riot after a championship. I was watching the footage of people going nuts after the Lakers won. What does a basketball game have to do with taking down newspaper stands? Also, how is it that Pittsburgh can throw a parade for the Penguins, but the Lakers needed private donations to have theirs? How is Pittsburgh doing better financially than L.A.?

-After 15 seasons, the Timberwolves and Kevin McHale have decided to part ways. Too bad, Kev, I think with another 10 years or so you may have been able to turn that team around. At least now you can show up at Celtics games wearing the 2008 Championship Ring Danny Ainge slipped you.

-I have no sympathy for Joe Buck. None. What did you expect Artie Lange to do? Have you never heard him on Stern before? Especially when you walk backstage and offer such kind words to him like "Don't Suck." Way to inspire the troops. If that show was supposed to hook me in to HBO, it ended up doing exactly the opposite. I give it 1 season, no more.

-Sammy Sosa took steroids? In equally shocking news, the sky is blue...

-I've been playing golf for a year now, so I feel qualified to offer a guess and thus, here's my US Open pick: Tiger. Normally I hate that "Tiger vs. The Field" argument, because it's insane to think no one else could possibly step up and challenge Woods. This is the toughest course of the year with the biggest field. But this year none of the big names are playing very well: Harrington, AK, Vijay, Stenson, Furyk - no one is playing as well as Woods. And you know Phil is going to be off his game - he is human, after all. If it's not Tiger then it will be some random competitor who currently sits off the radar.

-Are you looking to kill an hour... or ten? Check out Sporcle. It's a quiz website that is insanely addictive. I'm excellent at the sports quizzes. The history and geography? Not so much (though, I did get all 50 states in under 5 minutes). I'm not sure what it says about me when I can't come close to naming all the Presidents of the United States, but I got all of George Carlin's 7 words you can't say on television in under 30 seconds.

Who's In My Driveway?

The guy who lives across from me is a repairman. He's always ordering parts and so it is never a shock when a UPS or FedEx truck comes rumbling up the street. Really, they have to deliver to this guy's house almost everyday, occasionally multiple times. However, it is really odd to see them not only stop in front of my house, but begin to back up the driveway.

Turns out this FedEx truck was for us. I was curious as to who ordered what and what could be so big that the guy opted to take the time to back up our long driveway instead of just walking the 120 feet. I figured that not only was the delivery for us, it had to be pretty big. I began to question just what the hell my dad had ordered with his Coke Rewards points (he's got 1,000s of them with nothing to spend it on). Previously it was a collapsible cooler and an asparagus strainer (told you, nothing worth ordering) so I figured this had to be quite the jump in point values.

I opened the door and was handed a very normal-sized envelope. It weighed almost nothing so really, this guy could have walked the distance and made it; guess he was just lazy. Turns out that my sister's father-in-law recently put out a book of his photography and wanted to send us a copy. It's a very nice book filled with cool photos he's taken through the years of Nantucket. You can check out a sample of Boomer's photography here. Also, if you're into photography its worth the investment to get the book. I mean, that's if you're not cool enough to know the author and get a free copy...

-While I still haven't signed up for a Twitter account yet, I have begun to see it's benefits. There are 4 or 5 different Twitter accounts of various people that I check every day. One of the ones that I do check is Notre Dame basketball coach, Mike Brey. So it was with great happiness that I check his account yesterday and discovered that Luke Harangody will be returning for his senior season. Thank God, as they lost enough talent to graduation. Now they just need to come back to Providence this season so I can watch them in person.

Home Box Office

This weekend, we were treated to a free preview of both HBO and Cinemax. Three days to watch the same 9 movies on three hour loops. This also happened to be the weekend that the series True Blood was having it's season premiere. I'm sure it's not a coincidence and HBO is just trying to hook a new slew of people to sign up once they see the first episode. Personally, I'm not getting onto the vampire train. I've avoided True Blood as well as Twilight and I don't intend to stop now. I was more disappointed in the fact that there were no episode of Eastbound and Down or the Will Ferrell special You're Welcome, America on-demand. Those would have peaked my interest much more. But, the free preview was not lost as I continued to catch up on movies that I never saw in the theatre and never got around to renting. I'll give you my reviews now:

Tropic Thunder: One word review: eh. Here's the problem for this movie - it was a victim of it's own success. It came out at a time last year when I just didn't have time to get to the movies. But, all the while, everyone kept telling me how hilarious it was. So, when I finally got around to seeing it I was expected a laugh a minute. I mean, it had a couple laughs, but it wasn't this iconic comedy that I will watch 200 times. After everyone hyping it up to me for a year, it just couldn't meet my expectations.

Hellboy 2: Finally, we could answer the questions left after the first Hellboy movie. Actually, the first movie was ok, but this one just went off the tracks. While the first was darker and grittier, this one was trying to be lighter with more comedy and a heavier emphasis on the monsters. I guess when you pick the guy who directed Pan's Labyrinth to write and direct again then you should expect things to get a little weird.

Get Smart: I had no real urge to watch this movie, but at 11 am on a rainy Sunday my choices for alternate entertainment were limited. It turned out to be a pleasant surprise. Steve Carrell is his usual funny self, the action sequences are really well done and it has Anne Hathaway, who I would watch read a book quietly to herself. Going in with no expectations turned out to be a really good thing (the exact opposite of Tropic Thunder).

Boobs and Flags

Currently, the 317th ranked woman in professional tennis is a Romanian by the name of Simona Halep. Now, this is normally not newsworthy as Romanians have shown in the past that they can be quite the tennis players. However, Miss Halep has, by tennis standards... how can I put this gracefully... a huge chest (do your own damn googling). So, of course, this has garnered her more attention than the 317th ranked tennis player in the world usually would get. Case in point: I, who couldn't name you the first ranked woman tennis player, devoted a blog post to her.

Halep has announced that she plans to have breast reduction surgery this fall, because she feels that her breasts are getting in the way, costing her mobility. Now, I'm certainly not going to tell her what to do with her life, but this does sadden me because the closest thing that I have to a "type" would be athletic girls with large chests (oh, and if she could be Irish, that would make my mom happy as well). I'm just saying, surgery seems drastic - I'm sure Nike or whoever sponsors her could make her a better sports bra if they put their mind to it.

There is another voice in this discussion and it's Alena Schurkova. She has managed to rise to the rank of professional volleyballer despite also possessing a large chest - larger, in fact, than Halep (again, do your own googling). Schurkova makes the very compelling argument that maybe Halep is just a crappy tennis player and is sending the bad message that girls with large chests can't play sports. Considered me swayed on the argument.

All I know is I can't think of a clean way to end this post, so let's just move on.

-So, it's Flag Day. I'll tell you how to celebrate, but it seems sort of self-explanatory. I was going to rank some flags by coolness, but then I remembered I have no artistic taste. Plus, my geographical skills suck so I was sure I would miss a good entry. Instead, I'll just say go check out the flag of Libya. They put no effort into this.

TV Fighting and Phish Fail

During my everyday life, I'll avoid conflict when possible. When someone starts to argue with me, especially in the areas of religion or politics, the question of "Do I really care that much?" will flash through my head. Often the answer is no, I don't. So, I let it go and allow the person to go off - perfectly aware that, while they think they won the argument, they could actually be really wrong. Or it could be that I'm right but I just don't care. Also, I get bonus points for being the bigger person in that situation. In my head it's win/win.

However, I do love to watch other people in conflict and it's even better when it's on TV. You put two sports know-it-alls near each other and an argument is bound to happen (as a sports know-it-all, I know this better than most. That is the one topic I will not back down from; screw being the bigger man.). If there is one thing we sports know-it-alls hate is to be questioned about the one thing we could be considered an expert it. For example, if you want to question me on the Celtics, I hope you brought a drink of water, cause you're going to be here a while. And we especially hate it when someone does it publicly. Today I was watching golf when a player faced a long shot with a tree in his way. The following conversation then happened:

Announcer 1:
With a long shot like this, I would imagine that he will play a fade and just hope to get it on the far side of the green.
Announcer 2:
I don't see why, he could easily play a punch shot under the tree and try to get to the center of the green.
Announcer 1, fighting the urge to end every sentence with "You idiot":
No, that's too high risk a shot, he could end up in the front bunker. The fade is the smart play.
Announcer 2, fighting the urge to question how many tournaments Announcer 1 has won:
I'd rather be in a bunker close than 75 feet away on the green.
(10 second of silence, where I am sure the mikes are just off, but they're still "discussing" the shot.)

Now, this wasn't exactly a throw down, but as golf announcers go, this was as tense as it gets. And, as you would expect, it didn't even matter as the guy pulled 3 wood, went straight for the pin and made them both look stupid. But, it spiced up the telecast for a minute.

-Of course this guy was going to a Phish concert when he thought this was a good idea. Phish fans are always the big thinkers in any group and they're used to buying grass. I don't get his logic, because if this is indeed grass seed from the old Yankee Stadium, then what you're doing is bringing the mojo of 26 World Series to your greatest rival. Also, this guy manages a Hooters, which is nice, but it's a Hooters in Vermont. That's a little like managing a hip-hop studio in Omaha - but, I guess sometimes you just need to make due with what you have.

Dry Heaving and the Lakers

Yesterday I got to watch the Brenizer ladies for a couple hours. Now, as I have stated before, I'm fine with watching small kids, as long as they hold in the poop. I feel as an uncle with no child care training, baby-sitting experience growing up or kids of my own, then I should be exempt from changing the deuce diapers. So when the smell started wafting from one girl, then the other, at first I was in denial. I tried to tell myself it was just a bad lingering fart. But, after a couple minutes when it wouldn't go away, I had to do what I had to do.

At first I changed Addison and it wasn't so bad. Not my smoothest moment, as I had to pause once or twice, but I was ok. The job got done, is what I'm saying. Then it was time to change the baby. First off, there is a point babies reach when they stop pooping and start crapping. You know damn well what I'm talking about. Well, Charlotte has passed that point like a bullet train. This diaper I had some more trouble with and yeah, I had a couple of dry heaves.

Up until now it had all been fun and games to Charlotte. Oh, she thought it was hysterical that I was having trouble with the mess she had created - she was laughing and giggling up a storm. I'll tell you this, though, while babies might not be able to recognize a lot of grown-up motions, due to their own frequent spitting up they know damn well what "about to puke" looks like. The sudden realization that Uncle Tommy could very well blow chunks all over her sucked the humor right out of the situation. She stopped squirming and tried to be as helpful as a 9 month old can be in these predicaments. I may have just sped up her urge to start potty training.

-Ok, so I said Lakers in 6 and I'm looking right on with it. But, I don't want to hear any more of how this will be the franchise's 15 title. They don't acknowledge the ones that were won in Minneapolis, so why should the rest of us? And if you need any more proof, just look at this banner the Lakers' store sells. This will be #10, L.A. You're 7 behind us, not 2. Nice try, though.

You Don't Understand The Power You Have...

This afternoon I wanted to look in a couple of stores to try and find a new drain plug for the cooler, in an attempt to not have to use plumber's putty or duct tape and still be able to use the good cooler. My hunt went about as well as you would have expected. Everyone sort of had the same reaction: "Oh, that would be good if we sold those... but, no, we don't." By the way, you're welcome for the free idea, Coleman.

On my way to check out the local Wal-Mart (I know, I'm not proud of me, either) I was driving down route 1 and at the Walpole Mall discovered that there was some construction going on at a side street. As a result, people heading south couldn't turn left at all and people coming from Walpole couldn't cross over route one. Traffic was being diverted up to the next set of lights where everyone would have to bang a U-turn. This was incredibly inconvenient, as this was a turn into a large shopping center they were cutting off, so there were a lot of cars forced to go up to the next light. The by-product was a long line of traffic in just the left lane of people needing to turn. Also, the green left arrow was a short light. This simply shined a light on one of the most important people that you have to share the road with everyday: the first person at the light.

I don't know if these people understand the power they possess. If their mind is wandering and they aren't on the gas right away, only 4 or 5 cars will get through. If they're on top of their game, however, that number could easily be as high as 8 or 9. And when you're the 40th car that needs to turn, that can make all the difference. It can be the deciding factor of sitting in traffic for an extra 5 minutes... or an extra 15. With gas prices slowly working their way back up, that can be an expensive proposition. I dealt with both today, as I had one car already into the intersection before the light even turned green (not recommended) and another that didn't go until everyone was honking and the light had turned yellow (also, not recommended); my advice would be try to be closer to the first guy, but wait on the light.

Just so we're clear, this responsibility also extends to the airport. I think it's your duty to be on your toes if you're next in line at the check-in counter as well. Don't get distracted by idol chit-chat or the fact that your about to spend $60 just to check your golf clubs. You need to be focused. I know you're amped to go on vacation, especially if it's some where cool. Some of the people behind you might have cut their drive time a little close, is all I'm saying. Every second counts.

-You know what's worse than getting a paper cut in the webbing between your fingers? Getting a paper cut while opening a letter, really excited cause you don't usually get mail... only to open it and find it's junk mail. Stupid gym membership offer.

Tasing Great-Granny

-When I think of great-grandparents, I think of an old person telling stories while sitting on the porch, whittling. Great-grandparents should be there to give you sage advice they have gained through their many life experiences. I would imagine that this great-grandmother has a new piece of life advice to pass along to future generations: don't dare a cop to tase you, cause he will.

Frankly, it's about time that someone called old people on trying to get away with stuff just because they're old. On the tape you can hear her ask the cop, as he tried to move her away from traffic, "You going to shove a 72 year-old woman?" Having worked in customer service, I've found being a bitch is ageless. I also love that she denied all this happened, called the cop a liar, but hasn't commented since they released the tape which contradicts every thing she has said. Damn technology and its dashboard cameras. You know, back in my day this was orange groves as far as the eye could see...

-I don't get the hoopla surrounding last night's MLB draft. I understand that they're trying to cash in like NFL and NBA, but its just not the same. Football and basketball players are going to come in and play within a year, two tops. Baseball players are going to bounce around the minor leagues for at least two seasons (unless they're a special talent), while some may never make it to the big leagues at all. In football you can judge within two years whether a guy can play; basketball you'll have an idea by the end of year one. Baseball it can take closer to 5.

Also, I don't know why baseball executives would want this to be televised. They used to fail quietly and privately. With so many of these guys whiffing on pick after pick (honestly, the last first-pick pitcher to make an All-Star team was Andy Benes in 1993. And that was a year he went 15-15 - clearly they just needed someone to represent the Padres), why not keep this process in a back room that no one needs to see? That way, when you fail no one remembers and if you manage to steal a great player by accident they you can tout your one hit like it happens all the time.

Muzak and Baby Racing

-So as I was greeted with a crappy, cold, rainy day I turned on the local weather channel just to check when I might next see the sun. After all, it's never too early to start planning for the weekend (short answer on the sun: maybe Saturday). Upon turning on the channel I was greeted with the smooth sounds of jazz. It made me curious as to who picks the music for the weather channel. It's not like elevator music, cause that's jazz versions of songs that I can at least recognize. Instead this is just saxophone-heavy noise... honestly, it sounds like what you would hear on Cinemax at 2 am. If anyone walked by my door they would think I was watching porn at 10 am. Weather is not meant to be sexy.

-The other day I was checking out my favorite Lithuanian newspaper (even if you can't read Lithuanian, just go to look at the pictures like I do - even though I have no idea what's going on in that second picture). It appears that baby racing is the new craze sweeping that nation. Now, I appreciate the technique that the winners used, as my guess is junior isn't usually allowed to touch laptops and showing a baby something they aren't supposed to touch is the quickest way to get them to come towards you. I just hope that his hair hasn't naturally grown in yet and they didn't shave his eyebrows for the sake of cutting down on wind-resistance.

If Lithuanians do have a natural talent for baby racing, it clearly becomes diluted the less Lithuanian heritage the child has. When Addison and Abigail were entered into a race at a baby expo a couple years ago, Addison didn't even move (she's about 25% Litski) and Abigail didn't make it out of the quarterfinals (slightly higher Lithuanian percentage). The question is what happens with Charlotte once she starts crawling, because she seems like she really wants to get going. Also, she'll take some people out along the way, because as Marshall pointed out about the Brenizers, "We may not be the fastest, but when someone runs into one of us, they'll be the ones going down."

Coolers Shouldn't Be High Maintenance

As the calendar turns to June, the weather gets better around here (it's actually been great so far. We're almost halfway through June and we haven't even turned the A/C on once - and I'm a man who likes his A/C). As the summer gets closer, I find myself in more and more need for a good cooler. After all, even if the cottage is less than two blocks to the beach, doesn't mean I want to walk back just to get a cold beverage.

For the most part we just keep our coolers on the back deck, tucked neatly under the benches until such time as they are pressed into service. But, as I pulled them out to be cleaned, I realised the flaws of such storage. Basically, what has been happening is we get them all clean and shiny, use them once, put them back under the bench and allow them to get re-covered in pollen and whatever else the rain stirs up. The next time we need one the pattern repeats itself. So, essentially, we have to scrub them down every single time we want to use them. As systems go, it is not the most efficient.

I finally decided to break the cycle, because as I was cleaning the coolers out today I realised that I don't need one tomorrow and according to the weather reports, it's going to rain for the next 4 days straight. If I leave them out on the deck then they're just going to get coated with pollen all over again and I just wasted 30 minutes of my life cleaning these things (honestly, if I wanted to waste 30 minutes I can do much better than that). So, from now on, if you need a cooler they'll either be in the shed or on the sun porch.

Also, do you think it's possible to buy new plugs for the drain of a cooler, or am I totally screwed on that one? I would hate to have to stop using what is probably the best cooler I have just because I lost a 2-inch piece of plastic.

Lazy Sunday Ramblings

-I've created a monster now that I know how to put YouTube videos on my iPod. I'm going to have a Celtic highlight section before too long. Before I never thought I'd fill 30GB... instead I'm wondering if I should upgrade to the 80G.

-For the 30th time in a row, my system of picking whichever horse draws #6 in big races was flawed. Then again, I'm not any more off than the guys who do this for a living, as the favorite horse came in third.

-Is it a requirement that to be a great tennis player you must also be insanely boring? Federer has matched Sampras not only in Grand Slam wins, but in the blandness of his public speaking. You need a Jolt Cola just to make it through their interviews. On the other hand, Agassi was the flashy media darling but never quite got to their level on the court.

-Also, did anyone get that Jolt Cola reference, or am I dating myself? For you kids out there, think Red Bull, but with more sugar cause it's soda.

-Speaking of dating myself, I present "the way that I am acting old this week": I don't want to use my new golf toy cause I'm afraid I'll leave divots in the lawn. Next I'll start watching Matlock re-runs.

-One of my favorite baseball traditions is that no one talks to a pitcher if he's got a no-hitter or perfect game going. It's one of those quirky rules that everyone seems to respect for no rational reason.

-Also, David Ortiz, you should not have taken a curtain call for a 100 foot homerun off the bottom of Pesky Pole. Another foot and that thing was going foul, so let's just settle down. We all want you to turn this thing around, and when you do stuff like that it instead feels looks a guy who knows he's on the way out the door.

-You know what show is the ultimate proof that the majority of television shows are put on the air by drunk people? SpikeTV's The Deadliest Warrior. It is the perfect example of what happens when a bar discussion that couldn't be settled ("Dude, who wins a fight between a ninja and a pirate?"), is put into the hands of people who run a television network. Add to that a chance to show off really exotic weapons and an opportunity for actors to act the fights out at the end of the episode and you've got a winning formula. I watched a couple episodes over the course of this week and it's insanely enjoyable. Though, I still think it's crap that they think a pirate would beat a knight.

The Curious Case of Lil Kim

I make no secret of the fact that I have songs on my iPod I don't even like. Hell, you could say there are songs on there I can't stand. I skip them every time they appear on my shuffle. Yesterday, as I was syncing my iPod with my iTunes, it recalculated to see the songs that I have played the most. There are no surprises at the top of the list. Lots of plays for Journey, Rascal Flatts and the Notre Dame fight song (a tune I am so fond of I have been known to put it on other people's iPods without being asked... you're welcome).

But, on a whim, I decided to see just what songs I dislike the most. Not including the songs that I have just recently added (and since I finally figured out how to convert and add music videos off of YouTube, there are lots of new additions), typically the files with the least amount of plays are ones that I had previously needed for work: music beds, sound effect and movie quotes (nothing breaks up the monotony of music like a random Chris Farley quote getting thrown in).

In this grouping, though, there is only one actual song that has literally one play: "The Jump Off" by Lil Kim. This is peculiar to me for a couple of reasons. First off, I can't remember what the hell I even needed this song for. It's not like I don't like hip hop - my freshman year of college I felt very strongly that DMX was the greatest rapper ever - but I cant think of any of my friends that would have liked this song enough for me to feel the need to download if for them. The other reason that I'm surprised it has just the one play is I usually set my iPod to play for an hour while I go to sleep. The fact that it never came up during that time is just curious to me. Alas, now we may never know the real reason of how it came to be on my iPod, as I cut the cord and deleted it to save some space (cut to the part when someone asks me to put it in a playlist for them).

-I was a little surprised when Rodney Harrison retired this week. I figured that being carted off the field was not the way he wanted to go out. But, sometimes the body just decides it's had enough, even when the spirit is still willing. He was a great addition to those Super Bowl winning Patriot teams and I feel that Eugene Wilson especially owes him thanks for hiding the fact that Wilson wasn't a particularly good NFL safety for a number of seasons. I think that Harrison will eventually get into the Hall of Fame. As the only defensive back in NFL history with 30 sacks and 30 interceptions, the numbers are just too great to ignore. The fact that he wasn't the most popular player during his career (classic "you hated him until he's on your team" guy) may prevent him from getting in on the first ballot, but I think eventually he'll make it.

I'm not happy that he's joining NBC's Football Night in America. Not because I don't like the show, but because I think there are already too many people there. They already had like 10 guys in studio and this year they've added both Tony Dungy and Rodney Harrison. It's only an hour long show - when you factor in commercials and highlights, everyone will get about 10 seconds of individual camera time to make their points. I know that suddenly they had all this extra money on the budget with Madden retiring, but jees, you couldn't instead spend it on composing music that does sound like you ripped it directly from the Star Wars score?

I'm Stunned I've Lived To See 29...

I'm no MENSA candidate, I know that. On the other hand, I do like to think that I am smart enough to figure out how to get through life mostly unscathed. But every now and again, Mother Nature pops up and reminds me that if she feels like it, I could easily make next year's edition of the Darwin Awards.

Yesterday I was greeted with a nice day and an empty schedule. So, I figured that since I wouldn't be getting any real work done then I could at least get some yard work done. I was already planning on doing this stuff Saturday, but if I could get it done today then it would free up my weekend. First thing that I was doing was some edging around the plants that sit up against the back of the house. It was kind of a pain, but it look pretty good when I was done.

Then I decided that since I was already out there I would mow the lawn. But before that, I needed to do some clearing. It was a tough winter for the trees in my back yard and thus I had a lot of low-hanging dead branches. I just was going to take out the ones that would be in the way as I mowed and didn't get a saw, just the sharp clippers. I got the branches out of my way for mowing, but then I got greedy. I wanted to clean up a larger branch that was higher. I grabbed at it and it snapped in the middle right away since it was already dead (leaving a nice jagged, pointed end). So I went back, got the saw and decided to cut it closer to the main body of the tree. I'm holding on to the end of the branch, trying to cut with my left hand and pull with my right at same time, hoping the branch would break near the cut line. So, there I am, pulling and cutting, cutting and pulling, when SNAP. My plan worked well and the branch broke off neatly at the tree. BUT I was still pulling when it did and the pointed end nailed me in the chest. It punctured right through my shirt and into my chest.

Fortunately it wasn't sharp enough to break the skin too much, just hurt like a bastard and leave a nice deep bruise (20 hours later it looks even better). Any sharper, though, and it would have been trouble. Really, stabbing yourself with a tree branch is pretty stupid way to hurt yourself. I'd show you the bruise, but I'm trying to hold off on showing the world my nipples for as long as I can. After that it was just more yard work fun as the grass seeds on steroids have been filling the lawn in nicely. Normally I could let the lawn sit for a week, maybe two before it needed mowing. The lawn was mowed last Tuesday and yesterday it was so thick I had to constantly back up and go over sections twice to prevent it from clogging the lawnmower. What is normally an hour job took closer to three. But, on a positive note, I've found that if you're doing yard work and the score from Pirates of the Caribbean comes on your iPod, it makes every motion that much more dramatic.

-So.... Rhode Island... you've got to be next, right? Clearly, all the cool kids (and Iowa) are doing it.

The Telemarketer's Lament

Yesterday I was just hanging out when my phone rang. Caller ID said it was MASSACHUSETTS and since that's where I live, I figured it was safe to pick up the phone. I was greeted by a cheerful-sounding man and we had the following conversation:

Man on the other end of the line:
"Hey, this is Charlie the Chimney sweep."
Me, seriously doubting his name is in fact Charlie, as the alliteration seems too convenient:
"Um, ok. How are you?"
Charlie, thrown off, because clearly he's reading from a script and not expecting to have to answer a question:
"After a tough winter, I was wondering if you needed your chimney cleaned? How about the chimney from your wood-burning furnace? Because you know -"
Me, while wondering who the hell still uses a wood-burning furnace:
"Woah... I'm all set. Thanks, though."
Charlie, the wind out of his sails as he hears that for probably the 800th time that day:
"(heavy sigh) Yeah... ok, bye."

Here's my issue: does cold-calling ever work any more? We live in a world where you can do any kind of shopping that you could ever need online or by calling the company yourself. Especially with a service like chimney sweeping, which I would imagine is not a snap decision. You would go looking for that; no one decides in a second that they need their chimney cleaned. Now, obviously for Charlie probably has some time to kill during the day, so that's why he was calling around. But, I would love to know how often this worked for him.

-As the NBA Finals start tonight I'm, unfortunately, expecting the Lakers to win in 6. If the Tampa Bay Rays and Arizona Cardinals have taught us anything in this past sports year, it's that the young upstart team can make a run and get to the championship series, but they're going to come up short. They just can't handle the biggest of the big stages yet.

Loose Change

As I've mentioned before, I'm pretty fanatical about keeping my car clean. So, as you can imagine, I was not happy a couple of weeks ago when I opened my sunroof and got rained on by a ton of crap (pollen, leaves and other stuff). At the time I just sort of gave it a cursory swipe with my arm and got the biggest chunks out of my car. Yesterday I decided to go back with a vacuum cleaner and get into all the crevices and fold in the seats. I'm quite pleased with the results as the inside of my car looks great.

I went full-out: pulling out my floor mats to get under there, folding down the seats to get into the harder to reach places and going under the seats to get at the places no one should even be looking. And that's when I discovered that I must have a problem with the jeans I wear. Under the driver's seat I found a ton of change. There was almost $3 worth of quarters and a couple dimes. The fact I never heard all this rattling around is surprising to me. My speakers must be louder than I think they are.

I threw the quarters back into the center console, cause that's where I keep my quarters, but put the three dimes in my pocket (for clarification's sake, I want you to know I am positive that there were three dimes). I have a change cup in my room that I was planning on added them to. Not five minutes later when I arrived in my room and reached into my pocket did I discover that two of the dimes were gone. I retraced my steps... no sign of them. They seemed to disappear into thin air. Obviously I'm not flipping out over 20 cents, but it was the oddest occurrence.

The moral of the story is, some change just wants to be lost.

-Alright, I'll ask: how did Jamie Fox get into this picture? Is he going the Jessica Simpson route and planning a country album? I also like how he is hiding off to one side like Where's Waldo.

The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien

For the first time in years, I made it a point to flip over and watch The Tonight Show last night. It was the first night of shows for Conan O'Brien and, as a Conan fan, I was interested to see how much of the shtick that worked for him at Late Night he was planning to bring with him to his new time slot.

Turns out that the show wasn't all that different from what he had done in the past. It just seemed like he had more studio space and a bigger budget to play with. It was still the same show format with a short monologue, pre-taped video sketch and second, shorter skit when he got back from commercial. The format was familiar to those people who had watch Conan for years - even the set didn't look all that different. To me it was a gentle way to break in the new audience who may not be familiar with his style. He pushed his style of humor, but didn't force it, letting people see that from now on it'll be more skits, less monologue-type jokes. He didn't break out the Masturbating Bear or Triumph, but you got the gist.

The question will be whether or not those type of skits ever come on the show. As I've said before, you can get away with a lot more at 12:30 than 11:30. It'll be a bit of a balancing act. If he pushes the line too far he could lose the older folks who liked Leno and his Jay-walking skits; he doesn't push far enough and he loses his core audience. After all, he and The Colbert Report probably had a lot of the same audience and now they're going head-to-head with each other.

I would be interested to see the ratings break-down of last night's show. The goal of moving Conan up an hour was to try and pull in more young people to the show. I'm sure it did well, cause there were lots of people like me who love Conan (even if we can't always stay up until 12:30 - it sucks getting older) who were curious about the show. Like I said, I hadn't watched The Tonight Show for years and last night's show was appointment viewing. But, did last night's effort have me clamoring to make sure I set a DVR to record it every night? Nope. Still, I'll be an interested observer over the next couple of months to see how this plays out.

I Had Forgotten All About You...

I like to think of myself as pretty tech-savvy. I know how to get around on a computer and can fake my way through most computer programs. Sure, I won't be doing any complicated graphic designs (as you may have guessed by this site's sweet, sweet layout), but I can navigate the information super-highway with the best of them. The one problem I do have, though, is balancing multiple Internet fads at once. If I start using a new social tool, I will immediately stop using my old one.

For whatever reason, I just can't keep up with whatever the new Internet craze is and stick with the old one at the same time. I do this in real life, too. When I get a new job I invariably fade away from the people I met at my old job. It's not intentional. It just kind of happens. MySpace was supposed to help me with this problem. I was going to sign up, contact a bunch of old friends and reconnect with them. Only I signed up and didn't really do the second part of the plan. I think I got distracted by finding just the right Celtic wallpaper for the background. Then I started doing this blog and now I couldn't tell you the last time I even logged in to my MySpace.

I bring this up because of what happened yesterday. Whenever I sign in to blogger, I also open my Gmail account. Gmail happens to be tied in to my old AIM (that's AOL Instant Messenger, for those who may be curious). Completely forgetting about that, I left my GMail open while I typed away at my blog post. I hadn't intentionally signed on to my AIM account in a couple years, but it turns out that people actually still use that thing. Imagine my surprise when a chat window opened unprompted. At first I assumed it was a pop-up. Then, I had to figure out just who the hell I was talking to. When you haven't chatted for a while, you forget what clever nicknames various people had chosen for themselves. In real life you can fake it by calling people by names like chief or buddy. On instant messenger you feel pretty stupid typing those out. That's the perils of ignoring technology - eventually it comes back around and gets you.