I'm no MENSA candidate, I know that. On the other hand, I do like to think that I am smart enough to figure out how to get through life mostly unscathed. But every now and again, Mother Nature pops up and reminds me that if she feels like it, I could easily make next year's edition of the Darwin Awards.
Yesterday I was greeted with a nice day and an empty schedule. So, I figured that since I wouldn't be getting any real work done then I could at least get some yard work done. I was already planning on doing this stuff Saturday, but if I could get it done today then it would free up my weekend. First thing that I was doing was some edging around the plants that sit up against the back of the house. It was kind of a pain, but it look pretty good when I was done.
Then I decided that since I was already out there I would mow the lawn. But before that, I needed to do some clearing. It was a tough winter for the trees in my back yard and thus I had a lot of low-hanging dead branches. I just was going to take out the ones that would be in the way as I mowed and didn't get a saw, just the sharp clippers. I got the branches out of my way for mowing, but then I got greedy. I wanted to clean up a larger branch that was higher. I grabbed at it and it snapped in the middle right away since it was already dead (leaving a nice jagged, pointed end). So I went back, got the saw and decided to cut it closer to the main body of the tree. I'm holding on to the end of the branch, trying to cut with my left hand and pull with my right at same time, hoping the branch would break near the cut line. So, there I am, pulling and cutting, cutting and pulling, when SNAP. My plan worked well and the branch broke off neatly at the tree. BUT I was still pulling when it did and the pointed end nailed me in the chest. It punctured right through my shirt and into my chest.
Fortunately it wasn't sharp enough to break the skin too much, just hurt like a bastard and leave a nice deep bruise (20 hours later it looks even better). Any sharper, though, and it would have been trouble. Really, stabbing yourself with a tree branch is pretty stupid way to hurt yourself. I'd show you the bruise, but I'm trying to hold off on showing the world my nipples for as long as I can. After that it was just more yard work fun as the grass seeds on steroids have been filling the lawn in nicely. Normally I could let the lawn sit for a week, maybe two before it needed mowing. The lawn was mowed last Tuesday and yesterday it was so thick I had to constantly back up and go over sections twice to prevent it from clogging the lawnmower. What is normally an hour job took closer to three. But, on a positive note, I've found that if you're doing yard work and the score from Pirates of the Caribbean comes on your iPod, it makes every motion that much more dramatic.
-So.... Rhode Island... you've got to be next, right? Clearly, all the cool kids (and Iowa) are doing it.
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