What's the Etiquette Here?

Today I went out to lunch with my mom to the Halfway Cafe in Canton (which was excellent, by the way). Anyways, we were seated right next to the station where all the waitresses entered their orders and while we were there we noticed that our waitress appeared to have either leaned up against or sat in something kind of dusty because she had specks all over her butt. Now, before you accuse me of staring at some girl's ass while having lunch with my mom I just want to say that it was especially noticeable because she was wearing all black and the dots were white. It was the color scheme, not me being sketchy.

Now, on the one hand I would like to be a helpful person and tell her so that she doesn't walk around with this stuff for the rest of her shift. On the other hand, it's not easy to tell someone that they have crap all over their butt when you're a guy. She'll think I'm a leering pervert. Girls can just tell each other this stuff and it'll be one girl looking out for another. It's just not a topic that you can ease your way into when you're a dude. Really, there is no way to bring it up to a complete stranger without being obvious about how you noticed it in the first place. Plus, she hadn't taken our order yet and I wouldn't want her messing with my lunch. Food and talk about a stranger's butt just should not be mixed.

-If I could take a second to talk about the Brett Favre block from last night's game - yes, he went low and yes, it was dirty and he should be fined. That's what'll happened when you close your eyes while trying to block. Idiot. But, I have to ask: what the hell was Favre, who earlier in the day disclosed he has a cracked rib, doing out there anyway? Who risks their quarterback's shoulder, and by extension their entire season, on a meaningless preseason gimmick play?

-There can't be any easy way to give someone this as a present. "Hey Dave, I saw this ad for a pocket breathalyzer and just thought of you. You damn lush." What's weird is that just the other day I had an ad for this emailed to me. How the hell did I end up on that mailing list?