These Guys Did Not Have A Good Weekend...

-You know what I find to be the most interesting part of this whole "what the hell happened at Tiger Woods' house at 2 AM" saga? How normal-sized his house actually is. I mean, it's not a shanty by any means, but don't you expect Tiger Woods to have a sprawling estate on some large tract of private land? Honestly, the dude is a billionaire, he couldn't find some space in Florida that would have let him have a little bit of yard between him and his neighbors? (And if his neighbor is still Wesley Snipes he may need that extra space.) Also, all those people who are claiming Tiger 'owes' the world an explanation are way off. It was a one car accident, on private property and he wasn't the one that called police, his neighbor did. Tiger can pay to replace the guy's tree and fix his car. So beyond any basic information to go on his driving record, why should he be in a hurry to give out further details? Given the way the police reports are being leaked to the media as fast as they are being filed, I'm not surprised he isn't in a hurry to talk to the Florida Highway Patrol.

-Now that Charlie Weis has officially been fired, it's time for the coaching search to begin in earnest. Normally I'm against people just throwing stuff our there without thinking it through, but I don't mind it when it's for something along the lines of an open coaching job. Then I think of it more in the form of a wish list. However, I feel I need to caution everyone who assumes that just because Notre Dame has an endowment in the billions of dollars that they can wrestle any coach they want away from his current post. The fact remains that there are jobs that pay just as well as Notre Dame and you won't get fired for only being 8 games above .500. That's why guys like Urban Meyer, Bob Stoops, Tony Dungy and Jon Gruden will stay away. Besides that I would much rather go with a slightly underrated and motivated guy, like a Brian Kelly from Cincinnati. Also, I do not want Gary Patterson from TCU, cause I'm not sure how good his winning percentage will be when he has to get out of the Mountain West.

-This Bobby Bowden situation is getting sad. There are reports that he may be allowed to return, but in a diminished capacity and only as more of a figurehead of the program. I'm just wondering how that is any different than what has been going on for the last 3 seasons. Really, you could have just kept the same arrangement and we all would have assumed that was what was happening anyway. There was no need to go public with a decision like that. While I understand the loyalists who want to point out that Florida State wasn't anything before he got there, it is still a state university and he's paid with taxpayer money. They aren't getting a good return on that investment. I think the University needs to quietly tell him he gets one more year and then they're pushing him out, so why doesn't he spend the next year getting applause at every visiting stadium and then retire with his legacy intact? Fighting to stay at a place where you aren't wanted never ends well.

These Wouldn't Fit On Twitter

I'm finding that I really enjoy Twitter, if for no other reason than the snap observations I can put up. However, that 140 character limit is really... well, limiting. So, here are a few thoughts (yeah, they're all sports related) that just wouldn't fit within a couple sentences but don't deserve a full post to themselves.

-I love that a lot of basketball minds seem to be pushing for Allen Iverson to un-retire, yet no one seems to be that interested in putting him on their team. "Allen, you still have so much skill left. I mean, I'm not interest in using it, but someone must be." Actually, the one team that everyone seems to be pushing for him to go to (Charlotte) is the one team I understand not pursuing him. Larry Brown knows what he would be getting into and you have to think he knows better than to have Allen Iverson and Stephen Jackson on the same team.

-Speaking of bizarre personnel moves, why do the Red Sox continue to push away Alex Gonzalez? Really, he's a great defender and he is more than serviceable with his bat. Doesn't the fact that they already brought him back once speak volumes? I know they need to add some pop to the lineup, but you're not going to get that from a shortstop anyway, so give me a rock-solid defender any day of the week. Instead they're going to try to find someone else and I'm willing to bet they'll sacrifice defense in the name of OBP.

-Wait, the UFL season is already over? I only saw one game on TV. If they want to have a second and third season they're going to have to do some major work in the marketing department. Also, get better uniforms.

-So Condollezza Rice was Stanford's honorary captain for last night's football game against Notre Dame. Tiger Woods was the honorary captain last week. Perhaps it's best to not be Ms. Rice's neighbor this week.

-You know, I was all set to shit on NC State for having to hire their fill-in offensive coordinator from Division 3 Tufts University, but then they scored 28 points and upset the #24 ranked Tar Heels. Apparently that vaunted Tufts offense is real.

At Least I'm Learning

I don't know what has happened to me the last couple of days, but I can not fall asleep anymore. It started earlier this week. I'll get really tired, get into bed... then nothing. Just find myself tossing and turning. The only way I get myself to fall asleep is to turn the TV back on, switch to a random channel (the last two days it has been the Discovery Channel) and only then do I manage to drift to mostly to sleep, staying awake just long enough to turn the TV off. Except the fun is not over because I will then wake up with a start around 4 AM and again be wide awake. I then have to turn the TV back on and try the whole thing one more time. It's very odd cause I almost never nap during the day so usually when I go to sleep for the night I'm not waking up until morning.

Anyways, I would like to thank the Discovery Channel for it's choices of late-night programming this week. It's been MythBusters, Deadliest Catch and Dirty Jobs marathons all this week and at least I like all those shows. I mean, you can only see the same highlights on SportsCenter so many times, and I appreciate the fact that they have been running different episodes for the week. Also, my lack of sleep is teaching me new things, such as you can build a boat out of duct tape. Hopefully this trend will not continue. But, if I start showing up at places with bruises on my face, homemade soap for you to try and I'm talking about my new friend Tyler, please feel free to slip something into my drink that will help me fall asleep faster.

-Certain gifts are just difficult to give. Any object that could be seen as a form of telling someone there is something wrong with them needs to be given with some tact. For example: it's probably hard enough just to give a loved one breath-right strips, because you're already telling them they snore like a chainsaw and you can't take this once-cute flaw anymore. But, giving them the extra large breath-right strips takes some extra moments of pause, because now you've add the wrinkle of informing them they also have a huge damn nose and a regular strip is powerless against their massive nostrils. Merry Christmas indeed.

Sitting Out Black Friday

Today is supposedly the busiest shopping day of the year, when almost every store has a huge sale and everyone kicks off their holiday shopping at the same time. Personally, I have come to think of this day in the same vein as New Year's Eve: tons of hype for not that much fun. I was never one to partake in Black Friday, because it just seemed like a bigger hassle than it is worth. There is just something about how I am wired, but the two things that drive me the craziest are sitting in traffic and standing in long lines and those are two things you will find in abundance around any store today. Thanks, but if it's all the same to you I'll go later, pay a little more and not get elbowed in the face by some mom over the last Dora the Explorer doll.

There was a story on the news yesterday about a family that had gotten in line at 5 AM on Thursday, a full 24 hours before the Best Buy was to open. Honestly, how much do you need a new laptop that you would forgo Thanksgiving dinner with your family and sleep outside in Massachusetts in November (I love camping and yet I find this to be extremely dumb) just to save some money? If you can't afford it the rest of the time, then maybe you just don't need it (see, being broke changes your perspective on holiday shopping). The best Christmas shopping I ever did was to go to the South Shore Plaza the day before Thanksgiving with my dad. The mall was dead, but every store had some kind of pre-Black Friday sale already going on. Was it the 60% off we would have found on Friday? No, but for lack of lines and traffic, it was worth things only being 40% off. Some things are just worth paying a little extra for, and not having to stand in line for 45 minutes is definitely one of those things.

-After watching two NFC East teams on Thanksgiving yesterday, can we come together across America and just agree that maybe the division isn't that good? I keep hearing about how it's one of the best divisions in football, but I don't see it. Sure, the Cowboys can beat up on bad teams, but even middle of the road AFC teams seem to handle the rest of the division. It's this weird dynamic where the Redskins can't beat the Cowboys, who can't beat the Giants, who can't beat the Eagles. Like the Pac-10, it's simply a round-robin of suck.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I want to wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving.
Today is my favorite day of the year -
it's nothing but food, family, napping and football.
All the joys of Christmas without the pressure of buying everyone presents.

Hope everyone has a great day.


Now, in honor of Thanksgiving, I'm including a
classic Thanksgiving episode of a classic show.
I always thought WKRP in Cincinnati was an underappreciated show. Even though it was on years before I was old enough to watch it, if you ever worked in radio the re-runs were pretty much must-watch TV.
This is one of the better episodes ever. The last line is a classic.

On Coaching...

In honor of Thanksgiving, a day full of football, this post is (almost) all about the pigskin. Now, last weekend was filled with college coaches using horrible decision-making skills. The most publicised one was Les Miles telling his player to spike the ball with :01 second left, when the rules state that :01 has to be run of the clock for a spiked ball; thus the clock expired and his team lost. But that was far from the only weird decision made lately. Yale's coach did not learn from Belichick's failure on 4th and 2 and went for it on his own half of the field, despite leading, when it was 4th and 22. He also lost. I absorbed all this data and what it has done is spawn a new theory about why college coaches seldom succeed at the next level.

Now, a lot of people think it is because they can't just recruit the players they want and thus they have a harder time installing their systems once they get to the NFL. Another theory is that they need to be the biggest star in the room and college coaches, no matter how great the players they may have there, are always the faces of their programs. I now believe it is because it is just harder to coach when the playing field is level and these guys actually have to do some coaching. Think about it: Les Miles has been at LSU, a top program, for a number of years now. In all his time there, how many games has he had to coach against really, truly great opponents? In reality, it's not that often. The SEC is usually has one or two teams that are trying to rebuild and teams schedule cream-puffs with the rest of their schedule. What that does is lower the coach's ability to make big decision when they are up against a clock. How often does Les Miles need to make a tough decision in a close game: 2, maybe 3 times a season? In other words, if I owned an NFL team and I was looking to hire a new coach, I would much rather have Charlie Weis than Les Miles. Of course, if those are my only two options I guess the best call would be to sell the team.

-Speaking of getting rid of a failing commodity, I was kind of bummed to see that Northeastern is ending it's football program. I mean, I get it because it was costing a ton of money, but it still is kind of a downer. I have always liked Northeastern and once Boston University folded its football program I held high hopes that perhaps Northeastern would pick up the 1-AA slack for the area; maybe even one day take the program to the next level. But, it's time to face facts: Boston is not a college sports town. There are just too many schools, too bunched together for one program to rise up and garner support from the entire city. If you go to B.U., Harvard, Northeastern, M.I.T., Suffolk or Emerson then why would you want to support another school so close to your own? You wouldn't, so what ends up happening is that no program dominates the town. That is why pro sports will always come first here, save the random instance of a team making a Final Four run.

-Ok, off of the football topic for a second because I need to get something off my chest: If tragedy + time = comedy, then lusting after a girl for a year and half, only to find out that she has had a boyfriend for the majority of that time had better be fucking hysterical someday.

On Soccer

You know, soccer, I want to take you seriously. Really, I do. You are the most popular sport world-wide and being a fan of you will only be to my benefit. It will be an instant personal connection with millions of people and only add to my sports knowledge on trivia night. Also, it has everything a sports fan in today's world looks for: quick action, no commercials until halftime and a time limit that guarantees you know pretty much right when the game will end and thus you can plan your night accordingly. But, I'm going to have a hard time taking you seriously as long as you keep deciding major championship games on the basis of penalty kicks. Last night's MLS game between the Los Angeles Galaxy and Real Salt Lake (and you thought "Jazz" was a weird name for a team in Utah) ultimately came down to penalty kicks, which Real Salt Lake won, 5-4.

Now, we won't get into the fact that Real even got into the playoffs with a losing record (11-12-7), because every league has issues with that. Teams at .500 have made the playoffs in both baseball and football. But, I don't like a gimmick like penalty kicks deciding who wins a league championship. You're completely taking any aspects of defense or team passing out the equation. Say what you will about pro football's overtime system (and I have) but at least with that you need to play good special teams and defense, or else you won't see the ball again. This is the equivalent of deciding the World Series on a homerun derby. I'm not saying don't use penalty kicks at all - during the regular season it makes sense not to make people stick around for hours on end for a meaningless game in May. But playoff overtime hockey is some of the most intense action in all of sports because they play until a real goal is scored. You would be wise to re-think your strategy is all I'm saying. I mean, if you at least switched to corner kicks you could involve both sides and the championship isn't decided simply because the goalie guessed wrong.

-Shockingly, the French decided against a replay. Why is it that I have this vision of the Irish Soccer Federation at the airport, waiting for the French response to their request for a replay of the World Cup Qualifier looking exactly like Russell Crowe during the first 3 minutes of Gladiator? Then I envision a headless body falling out of the plane as the Irish Prime Minister sighs dejectedly, adding, "They say no."

Sure, Now You Tell Me

A couple years ago I got a great office chair for Christmas. It was one of those large, leather captain's chairs with the high back and overstuffed seat. I loved this chair right off the bat. The only problem came a month later when I was reclining in it and suddenly one of the arms snapped. The arms of this chair were the type that basically formed an oval with two screws going into the chair and another two going into the back. Of course, because this is how life works, the chair broke almost immediately after the warranty had expired. I didn't think much of it, just figuring I would go to an office supply store and buy a new arm. I was even willing to buy a set if that was required, I mean, how much could it be?

Turns out that, even if stores carried the arms, they would cost me $30 (each) when the chair only cost $100. Who knew that most of the cost a chair was the arms? I would have guessed the fancy thing under the chair that lets you adjust the height. Anyway, it never even got near that point, because you can't find them in stores. Have you ever walked into your average office supply store and asked to buy only chair arms? You may as well walk in and just start talking to the staff about a time Jesus talked to you in your dreams. You get the same confused/lethargic/disinterested look in both instances. Then they will tell you about the chairs that they have on sale, clearly not listening when you say you only want the arms. The only place I found the chair arms I needed was online and that site will only sell them in bulk.

I decided instead to fix the arm, using glue; only I couldn't seem to find glue that would work. I tried Super Glue at first, but it didn't hold. Then I tried industrial glue and some braces to let it set, but it still broke in the same spot as soon as I reclined. So, for the last couple of years I have been using a backup chair that is not nearly as comfortable, while the chair I like sat in my old room, going unused. Finally my mom got fed up with wasting space and wanted to either toss it out or at least give it the Salvation Army. I was saying that I still wanted to try and fix it when my father decided to check back into the conversation:

"What are we talking about?"
"My old chair, I can't find a good way to fix the arm."
"Oh, just drill a hole in the bottom of arm and then use a smaller screw to hold it in place. You'd never even see it."
"..."

I did it yesterday afternoon and it took 10 minutes. We'll see if it ends up holding long-term but so far, so good.

Three Quick Sports Stories...

-So, let me ask you something: does the Klan showing up in support of your position help or hurt you in Mississippi? This served as a great reminder of why I didn't look seriously at any colleges South of Mason Dixon line. Poor Ole Miss, they were just about to get a ton of good publicity when The Blind Side came out this weekend. I'm sure this is not what they wanted.

-Dear Tim Lincecum: you've won your second Cy Young in as many years and you're the youngest person ever to accomplish that feat. It is kind of a big deal, so maybe you should comb your hair before you show up at your press conference. Given the fact that you were busted for pot possession a couple weeks ago, I figure the least you can do is not show up looking like the average staffer at a skateboard shop. I don't want to be the old fart who tells you to dress up a little and put on a tie... but... jees, dress up a little and put on a tie. You look like the Ghost of Jonas Brother Future.

-Wait, are these researchers really saying with a straight face that they believe a man with no legs has a competitive advantage in a foot race? You have got to be kidding me. You know what? I'm not even bothering - I'll let Katt Williams handle this one for me. [sidebar: Those of you familiar with Mr. Williams should know enough not to press play if you are at work or around children. For those that aren't, just take my word for it when I tell you that those with virgin ears should sit this one out.]

And In Future News...

Did you hear Oprah is leaving... in 2011? It was all over the news last night, which is weird because, again, she's not going anywhere for two years. This is more like future news. I get that she's a cultural icon and a huge figure in the TV world, but shouldn't we worry more about what is happening in the world today? There is kind of a lot going on, so you would think news stations would have no problem coming up with 22 minutes of other things to cover, especially when you figure sports and weather are taking up six of those. Really, there isn't 18 minutes of relevant stuff happening in the world today that we need to instead cover a billionaire talk show host announcing her retirement two years prior to it actually happening? (Especially when her affiliates could come together over the next two years and come up with a mega-offer that keeps her on the air past 2011?)

I'm just wondering what this could mean for the news industry when things that will happen eventually become breaking news events. Can't you just see Fox News (and it would totally be Fox News in this scenario) breaking into it's coverage of car chase with the headline, "One Way Or Another, Obama Won't Be President In 2017!" Well, yeah, but that's not news, that's more of a law. And it doesn't just happen in politics. I get annoyed whenever NASA launches a new probe and then says crazy stuff like, "We could land people on Mars by 2025!" Yes, well you could, but how about we get further along with the technology before we start making declarations and putting out deadlines. Before that it's not news, it's speculation. Aliens could show up in 2020 and make all your work irrelevant. Let's concentrate on the here and now.

-Do you ever think that companies give out crappy coupons, just to drive you to the better coupons they are also giving out? Ever since I ordered Domino's online, I have been on their mailing list and receive coupons via email. The one I got last night, when I was jonesing for some pizza, was for a pasta bread bowl and large pizza for $15. But, without being on their mailing list and just by watching the national TV commercials I also knew I could order a bread bowl and 2 medium pizzas for $15. Basically with the second coupon I could get more stuff for the same amount of money. I think Domino's is using their coupons as a sort of 'idiot test' for the country. If they use the first one, which clearly is not as good a deal as the second one then you must be an idiot and don't deserve the savings. But, here's the larger question: is it wrong that I spent a half an hour thinking about this?

This Is What You Get

What is going on with referees this year? Every sport seems to be having a problem with referees and officials screwing up what appear to be very obvious calls. Each week it seems that we have a new instance of 'the worst call ever.' Whether it's SEC officials appearing to look the other way for Florida and Alabama, MLB umpires missing foul balls despite being 10 feet away with a clear view or Dick Bavetta still being allowed to have a job, we've got issues across the sports landscape. And now, of course, it has begun to spread world-wide. By this time I'm sure you've seen the footage of the Ireland/France World Cup qualifier during which French player Thierry Henry had an obvious handball that lead to the goal which eliminated Ireland from World Cup qualifying. [sidebar: I love that Henry's post-game comments came down, essentially, to saying, "Yep, I cheated. Not my problem if they didn't call it." I can only hope he was twirling a thin moustache and holding a brown paper bags with baguettes hanging out of one end, just to enforce the full French stereotype douchey-ness of it all.]

Now, apparently because it's soccer and the World Cup, I'm supposed to be more offended. After all, this is a world event so I should have world-sized indignation. In reality, what I'm feeling is more a sense of "I told you so." This is what happens to sport organizations that shun technology. These games are shown on 14 networks, with 8,500 cameras and in a picture so clear that you can see the pores on the players faces. [second sidebar: you TV camera guys can zoom out a little.] If you choose not to be smart enough to have replay in your game then you reap what you sow. I'm not saying that every little thing should be reviewed, but how about we just have the option to take a second look at goals? I mean, there are only like 3 every game and how many of those could possibly need review? Think of the rule as an insurance policy.

I know what you soccerheads are saying: "But Tom, we made it this far without replay. That's the way it has always been. It's tradition. Also, it's football, not soccer, you asshole." Fine, I'll concede the point that I'm an asshole for refusing to call it anything but soccer. But, back in the day we used to think cigarettes were healthy and pictures were the devil's work. The point is we've got better stuff now. It's kind of stupid to ignore progress. Seriously, if the NBA will take 5 minutes and allow officials to call the TV truck for more angles on a last second shot during a pretty meaningless early-season Nuggets/Bulls game, then you would think that FIFA would want to get the frickin' World Cup right.

In the short term there has been a call to replay the entire game, but of course FIFA is saying that won't happen. That would admit that there is something wrong with their sport and no league official would ever do that, I don't care where in the world they live. I guess all Ireland can hope for is that in 23 years Henry is a bitter, fat and drug-addicted bad coach.

Could Creed Be The New Journey?

When the band Creed announced that they were reuniting and going out on tour with a new album (finally, I can stop lighting all those candles in church) a magazine article wondered if they were underappreciated the first time around. Now, I can't find the article online so I can't give proper credit to the writer, but basically they were wondering if Creed, like the band Journey before them, would rise from being dismissed when they first came out, have a resurgence in a couple decades and be considered cool amongst the next generation. First off, my kids will already be listening to Journey, so not in my house, dammit.

I also don't think it's possible due to one key factor: Journey songs are light, airy and perfect for karaoke, which makes Journey just that much more accessible to a new audience. Every one sings along with 'Don't Stop Believin'', even me. In fact, Journey was the band of choice the one and only time I ever did karaoke. On the other hand, Creed songs are what kids will listen to when they are 14, angst-filled and sitting in a darkened room wondering why their life is so hard. In other words, the best Creed could hope to be in 20 years is The Smiths (seriously, don't listen to 'Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now' on a cloudy day, you'll be in a funk the rest of the week).

But, what musical act could be the one to rebound and be cool for another generation? Ok, here are the criteria: we're not talking about a band that every agrees is great and are classic - they need to be dismissed right now as no one takes their music seriously, but have enough catchy tunes, relative hits and airplay to keep them relevant. Also, it can't be some musical fad that didn't stick around, like the hip-hop/rock stuff that brought Limp Bizkit to our lives. Because of that I'm sticking with rock, or at least pop. With that in mind, here are the five I came up with, going from least to most probable.

5. 'Weird' Al Yankovic. Of course no one takes him seriously, he's not meant to be taken seriously. However, that doesn't mean he won't still be out there making fun of the latest music when he's 70.

4. *NSYNC. I'm sad to say that Timberlake may have enough musical chops that they end up being considered a real musical act one day. But, I'm hoping a reunion tour during the next boy band craze (scheduled for around 2015) will destroy any credibility he may have built up. If New Kids can reunite, then this is extremely possible.

3. Cake. Had a couple mini-hits in the early '00s, but stayed underground enough I can absolutely see a kid thinking he "discovered" them in a decade or so. Also the were hurt by the fact that they were lumped in with several bands of the same indie genre making it big at the same time. (None of which I can think of now, because they all sucked, had one hit and were forgotten. If they could just have formed together, like an idie super group, you could have gotten one complete good album out of the genre.) I was going to go with Weezer here, but music snobs hold them in too high a regard for them to ever be dismissed like Journey was.

2. Hootie & The Blowfish. No one wants to admit it, but everyone loves this band, just like Journey. Trust me, I saw Darius Rucker live earlier this summer opening for Rascal Flatts and people lost their shit when he broke into old Hootie songs. Also, Rucker's solo career will keep the band on people's minds. Plus, is there a better karaoke song than 'Only Wanna Be With You'? (Yes, but it's 'Don't Stop Believin' and since that was the basis of this post, it is disqualified.)

1. Nickelback. Seems almost certain. Go ahead, bring this band up around a music snob - they freak. But, damn, "Rock Star" and "Far Away" are great for karaoke and their Canadian fans will never let them die. Book it - in 20 years your kids will have Nickelback as their ringtones.

You'd Best Hope I Don't Get Your Name In The Grab

We got yet another catalog yesterday and this gift was on the back cover (Ok, fine. Technically it was a different picture and different catalog because we don't get mailings from Exclusively Weddings, but the sentiment is the same). Due to it's tacky yet awesome nature, which is a staple of the gag gift, I immediately felt the need to share it with you. It raised three points:

1. Are you my friend and thinking of getting engaged? Well, you may want to hold off, unless you want one because I am definitely getting the happy couple one for the next wedding I attend. (Sorry, Liz, you and Simon just missed out. You'll have to settle for the Waterford).

2. If this picture is hanging in your house, there is no way a dog lives there. This has "cat people" practically carved into the frame. Also, I bet in keeping with the beach theme, you have the Jesus "Footprints in the Sand" poster prominently displayed.

3. While I'm 98% sure it's done with a computer program, how fantastic would your life be if your job was to just go to the beach and write people's names in the sand? All you did all day was run, write the names and hurry out of the shot before the waves came. Given the wedding racket I bet you would make pretty good money, too. Clearly, we need bigger waves in Wareham to make this happen.

-Please note the new function on the side in this general area.

-------->

That's right, I got a Twitter account so now you can follow me both there and here and really have access to my entire head. It'll be updated a couple times a day, versus the one big update here and also serve as a good way for me to tell if a rambling is worth an entire blog post or just a quick Tweet. The again, I could use it a ton the first two weeks and never again. We'll find out together. Just pray I never get a BlackBerry or I'll end up tweeting every 15 minutes.

No One Wins Here

The other day I was out and about when I passed a cop who had just pulled over a guy on a scooter. It was one of those hybrid electric deals, not even a Vespa which, while still a scooter, at least seems like it would be a little more hip. The guy was off the bike (using that term very loosely) and seemed to be pleading his case. It looked to be a newer scooter, so I can only guess that he was pulled over for something else, like not wearing a helmet. I moved on and finished my errand, only to head back the same way and find the guy in the back of the cruiser and the scooter being pulled up onto a flatbed. My guess had now changed to something more serious, along the lines of the guy not knowing he needs a motorcycle license to take his scooter out on the road, because I can't see getting arrested for a helmet violation.

But what struck me was how bummed everyone seemed about the whole situation. No one looked happy: not the driver, the cop or even the flatbed operator. Obviously, I know why the guy being busted wasn't happy - not only was he getting arrested, but you won't get any street cred being hauled in on a scooter violation. In fact, I would imagine you're near the bottom of the jail food chain. And the cop couldn't be happy, because when he was a kid playing cops and robbers he probably imagine himself foiling bank robberies, not doing traffic violations. I doubt busting guys on scooters is what he signed up for. Even the tow guy seemed to be embarrassed by the fact that he had this huge flatbed with this tiny scooter on it. Really, you could have just thrown this thing in the back of a van; calling in a hauler usually reserved for SUVs was overkill. I guess the moral of the story here is this: kids, don't buy a scooter. Nobody wins.

-The other day I went out to buy my DVD copy of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. I, of course, wanted the special 2-disc special edition, but imagine my surprise when I got to F.Y.E. and discovered that they had a limited edition 2-disc version in a special metal case. And, it was only $4 more and I had a $5 coupon. I'm such a sucker for this kind of stuff. I have already watched it 3 times since and have switched my celebrity crush to Rachel Nicols. Just something about those redheads.

The Benefits of a Late Game

So, every sporting event that I was anxious to see this weekend (Celtics/Hawks, Celtics/Pacers, Notre Dame/Pittsburgh, Patriots/Colts) were late games. None of them started before 8 o'clock at night, which normally drives me crazy. However, this weekend I had no plans and no intention of making any so I was free to just hang out before the games. I found the late starts to actually be beneficial because I could work on projects all day, get a bunch of stupid little nagging things done and still not miss any of the games. Had there not been a hurricane on Saturday I could have even got a second round of raking in. And, as an added bonus, when every single game went the opposite of the way I wanted them to (more on two of them in a second), it didn't ruin the rest of my day, because my day was already pretty much over.

-The loss to Pittsburgh should pretty much signal the end of the Charlie Weis era in South Bend. Barring him winning out (unlikely) and then winning a descent bowl game, I think his time as Notre Dame Head Coach is over. Frankly, it's his own fault because he didn't spend enough time recruiting on defense. Bringing in a bunch of 4 and 5 star guys on offense is great, but you need some guys on defense or else you're in shootouts every week. I will say this, the program is in much better shape than when he found it and should prove attractive to some big-name coaches out there. I just hope they stick to the college ranks and don't go looking to bring in a guy like Mike Shanahan, who will just be looking to rebuild his reputation before going back to the pros. Don't bother with the Urban Meyer talk, cause he's not leaving Florida. A guy like Bob Stoops is intriguing, though.

-Now that I've had some time to think about it, I get what Belichick was doing going for it on 4th and 2 from his own 30 last night. He was making a statement; and that statement was, "I don't believe in my defense." Given the way Manning was moving the ball on the defense last night, Belichick clearly though there was no way the Patriot's secondary was stopping him - it didn't matter if he had to go 70 yards or 30 yards. He figured the only chance to win the game was to keep it out of Peyton's hands, so he went for it. If anything, the problem was the play-calling. Faulk should have not be running a 2 yard out on 4th and 2. He should have gone at least 5 yards so it wasn't such a close spot. But, I get what Bill was doing. (Still, I would have punted it. There are lots of freaky things that can happen on a punt.)

Dear Runners,

I've talked about my respect for people who jog strictly for their health. They are better people than I am simply because they are willing to do what I am not, which is run even though no one is chasing you. Hell, even if someone is chasing me I'm more likely to stand my ground and take my chances than run. But, there is an issue where I take offense with them: you people need to start using the damn sidewalks.

Last night I was going out on a snack run before the Notre Dame/Pittsburgh game (no, I don't want to talk about it, thanks for asking). Because it is passed Daylight Savings Time, it gets dark in these parts about 4 in the afternoon. Yesterday we were also fighting the remnants of hurricane Ida, so it was overcast all day and instead it got dark about 2. It was unseasonably warm thanks to the storm, so the runners were out in force. Normally I have my eyes peeled, but it was very dark and rainy, so every corner I came around the runners seemed to be popping out of nowhere (that one line of reflective tape down their back doesn't do much) and they were all in the road. I get that running outside is preferable to running on a treadmill, but if there is a sidewalk available you should use it. There is no chance you will win a matchup between a human and a Mercury Mountaineer.

-I understand Kay Jewelers are angling their ads towards women and style them in vein of a romance novel. But, this latest ad featuring a couple holed up in their cabin during a storm may be the worst thing I have ever heard. I actually feel bad for the actors who have to read this stuff. Really, it sounds like it was written by a 12 year-old girl. I bet the script even featured hearts instead of dots over the i's.

That Doesn't Make Sense

In my near-constant quest for editorial work, I end up reading a lot of job postings. Most of them feature some variation of the sentence, "We want some one who will dot every 'i' and cross every 't'." Now, because I want the job, I would never point it out to the people doing the posting, but this phrase makes no sense in today's landscape. Does anyone hand-write copy anymore? When was the last time you saw an important document that wasn't done on a computer? And, most importantly, is there a program that doesn't automatically dot the i? Of course there isn't. It's just another phrase that should be retired, or at least altered. I was thinking about it and came up with a couple others:

-The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. Actually, what you need to do first is get directions off of Google.

-If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Perhaps you should be calling someone to make sure the vents are working. Seems like a safety issue.

-You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. It may taste nasty, but they do sell that pre-made omelette mix in stores.

-A penny saved is a penny earned. If you think about it, technically you earned it before you saved it. Plus, with today's interest rates if you leave it in a high-yield savings account it can be worth even more than a penny.

-You can fool people some of the time, but you can't fool them all of the time. Clearly Aesop never watched Chris Angel's Mind Freak. Those idiots really think he's magical.

Be Honest, LeBron

So, LeBron James has announced that he will be changing his uniform number from #23 to #6 following this season (however, he did not elaborate on which team's uniform he will be wearing that number on). He says that he wants it to be an homage to Michael Jordan and that he hopes to start a trend in which no one wears #23, essentially retiring it across the league. I'm sure that would go over huge in a place like Detroit. Ok, first off, let's ease back on the Jordan worship. Was he a great player? Absolutely, he brought the game to an entire new level. But, he simply took it from an 8 to a 10. It was Larry Bird and Magic Johnson who saved the league in the 80's after a disastrous decade of too many players on drugs and TV ratings that were in the toilet. It was their rivalry that brought the league to the point that someone like MJ could even be made into a star, yet I don't hear LeBron chirping about retiring #33 and #32 on every team. For that matter, he's switching to #6, which is Bill Russell's number and there is the number that should be retired league-wide. James says it is because Dr. J. was his hero and he wants to honor him. I have no idea why it is that you can honor one guy by wearing his number, yet honor another by stopping wearing his.

I think the real reason that LeBron is changing his number is the same reason that Kobe Bryant switched from #8 to #24 - jersey sales. They can make up any excuse they want to tell us, but I would respect them more if they would just be honest about it. At this point LeBron has been around long enough that every one has his home, away, alternate, 2nd alternate and 3rd alternate jerseys and he's started to slip down the ranking of annual jersey sales. I get it, he's a prideful guy who wants to be #1 in everything. Without a title to his credit (Russell had 11, yet another reason that #6 should be retired. Russell also did more socially than MJ.) he needs something he can point to to prove he's popular. The sad part for James is that if Yao Ming changed his jersey number he would blow everyone out of the water without even trying.

Seriously, between this, the issue where made Nike confiscate the video of him getting dunked on and not having the class to shake the hands of the Orlando Magic after their playoff series last June, LeBron is sliding down in my book. Before this year, I never thought of him as one of those players who had this huge of an ego, but now I am starting to see cracks in the well-formed LeBron public image. Up until now, I never seriously considered that he would leave Cleveland for the Knicks, but maybe playing in front of that huge a TV market really is important to him. If he does make the leap I hope he enjoys being on TV 20 times a year... and winning 4 of those games.

-This happened a while ago, but I just found out about the story. You know about the butterfly effect, which says one butterfly flapping it's wings here can cause a tsunami across the world? Well, perhaps they should pay closer attention to that theory and stop housing so many of them together, because the clearly bad things happen (check out the important notice) when those little buggers get to flapping all at once.

The Art of Polite Responses

I really feel like a lot of the problems of the world could be avoided if we could all just agree, on occasion, to shut the hell up. Life is hard enough as it is, you don't need other people coming in and raining on your personal parade. Yet no one wants to be the bigger person anymore and everyone feels the need to get the last word in. The act of politely smiling and nodding despite what you may be thinking (followed by commenting about the person once they are out of earshot) has become a lost science. In this regard I feel like my parents have done an exceptional job of raising my siblings and I. We may think you are an asshole of the highest regard, but you'll most likely never know it because we grew up learning the techniques of the polite response. (When everyone you encounter feels the need to tell you their entire life story it comes in very handy.) We just let you go on starring in your own play, unaware that you're the asshole.

Sure, we've all felt the need to turn to people while they are talking and tell them how much of an idiot they are. But that just creates the need for them to defend their position and usually cements how much of an idiot they are. So now you know for sure that person is an idiot, but you already knew that; the only things you've done now are lost moments of your life that you can never recover and possibly ruined that person's day because now they have to confront the fact that they are an idiot. The quicker action is to smile, nod, think "what a fucking idiot", and get on with your life. That would be the polite response.

This story is a tougher call, though. I don't think anyone should be blurting out their beliefs at work unless someone specifically asks (and even then you should change the subject, cause those conversations never lead anywhere good). But on the other hand, I have a severe dislike for people who troll for compliments. People who tell the office weeks in advance they have a birthday coming are annoying to no end. And, this woman mentioning four times that she was getting married sounds like she was fishing for approval. I don't need to hear about any co-worker's wedding that much. Still, if he just knew how to give the polite response he may still have a job. Also, if you have such a problem with gay marriage perhaps you shouldn't move to a state where it is legal.

Shirts, Ninjas and Shot Clocks

-Last week I got a new dress shirt/tie combo. I love those because it eliminates the question of whether or not a shirt goes with a tie; they arrive together in one package and very clearly match. But, as I was opening the box to wash the shirt before wearing it (as is my custom - another topic for another day) I had a hell of a time getting the shirt out. That was because the shirt was secured with 7 pins, 2 plastic clips and a couple other pieces of plastic that kept the collar in place. Seemed like overkill to me. I don't secure furniture that I'm moving this well. What do you think your shirts are doing when no one is looking, Pierre Cardin?

-You guys know me, I appreciate the direct approach in advertising. It is because of that I am a fan of the new movie coming out, Ninja Assassin. There will be no questions going in what this movie could possibly be about. It saves you the trouble of trying to talk someone into seeing the movie. If they want to see a movie about ninja assassins they will be interested and if they don't you can move on until you find someone who is.

-What's this, the NBA took an extra few minutes to check a replay and find out if a call was correct in a pretty meaningless early season game? And today no one is complaining because the call turned out to be the right one, even if it wasn't obvious without a couple views? Well, surely Major League Baseball will be swayed to fix their instant replay problem cause those guys are blowing obvious calls that would take 10 seconds and one look at a TV monitor to fix. Actually, no. Apparently, MLB think guys completely screwing up the World Series is cute.

It's Catalog Season

When I was a kid, I got really excited whenever I got mail. Of course, back then it was nothing but birthday cards, Christmas cards and Eastbay catalogs. Oh, and if there was ever an actual package with my name on it? You'd have to tie my hands together to stop me from ripping it open before I made it back to the house. But, as I got older cards got replaced with bills and now going to the mailbox isn't nearly as exciting as it was when I was 8. As a result I've worked on cutting down the amount of junk mail that shows up in my name. I go paperless with all my financial transactions and try to get myself off mailing lists whenever possible. I'm pretty much down to Golf Digest, a Notre Dame catalog and Eastbay (some things never change). Of course, that all changes when it gets closer to the holidays, cause that's when catalog season starts.

Every trip to the mailbox during catalog season is a trip into the unknown. What store's catalog, full of things I have no intention of buying, will show up today? And, more importantly, how the hell did we get on their mailing list? You expect some of the usual suspects (Sears, Toys 'R' Us); stores who double as institutions and just send their catalogs out to everyone. It's the more obscure catalogs that I can't figure out. Just in the last couple of days catalogs for What in the World, The Museum Store, Acorn (the PBS one) and Current have been delivered. It's a very weird phenomenon - they appear around Halloween and then disappear for the year. You never hear about these stores from January - September. How are they in business the rest of the year? In the worlds of Joaquin Phoenix, it vexes me... I'm terribly vexed. [off topic: there is nothing worse than seeing Gladiator, which is one of my favorite movies ever, appear on the station guide... only to discover it's the 1992 one starring Brian Dennehy.]

-Every fall raking the yard becomes a terrible game of chicken. Rake too soon and enough leaves fall so that you have to go back out and do it again. Wait too long and it'll snow, burying the leaves and killing the grass. It can be a delicate mix. Saturday there were three of us working on it and we got the lawn done in an hour and a half. It was immaculate. But, as of today there are enough leaves to warrant a second round of raking. We may have been too early this year.

Sticking With What Works

So, I watched Seth MacFarlane's Almost Live Comedy Show last night. Here's what I learned and what I think Seth needs to figure out - you can get away with saying outrageous things if you have the common sense to hide behind animation. When you say outrageous things just as a guy standing in front of a live audience they aren't nearly as funny as when it's a one-year old cartoon baby with an English accent and a weirdly-shaped head. Just ask Matt Stone and Trey Parker, who created South Park. They tried the "live" thing with BASEketball and while that was an underappreciated movie, it was not as good as South Park. Ever since that time they have had the good sense to stick with what works, which is 8 year-olds in cartoon form and crappy animation. Yes, they tried to do go back into movies with Team America, but that was done with puppets (sticking closer to the formula that works) and when that also turned out to be not as funny as most of the stuff the roll out with South Park they essentially threw up their hands and now are content to just be the South Park guys.

Sometimes I think celebrities become too focused on trying to prove they can do more than one thing. Rappers want to act, actors want to sing and athletes want to rap and act. Most of the time we would all be better off if they would just stay in their lanes. Did we really need Glitter to prove Mariah Carey should only be a singer? I get that MacFarlane may not want to be pigeonholed just as the guy who created Family Guy but, let's be honest, there are worse things you can be known for. Everything he has tried to produce since (American Dad, The Cleveland Show and now the Almost Live Comedy Show) has been decreasingly funny. Also, and I really hate to say this, I feel like this season of Family Guy has not been as good as in years past. I think MacFarlane needs to just concentrate on one thing at a time and I would like it if that one thing is Family Guy.

-Speaking of things that are getting progressively worse (I'm sick and so you're getting the sick person's look at life today) can we all agree to ban together and make Hollywood stop putting out adaptations of A Christmas Carol? People are saying that the latest Jim Carey version didn't make nearly as much money as everyone expected and it must be a referendum on the new actor-less style of movie making. Do we perhaps think instead it could be because there are already around 50 movies based off the book and at this point everyone has seen the story over and over again? That couldn't be it... could it? Here are the only ones that you need to see: Scrooge starring Albert Finney, Bill Murray's Scrooged and The Muppet Christmas Carol. The rest are just pretenders to the throne.

-I can't believe that Steven Tyler may have quit Aerosmith. This is a tragedy of the highest order. What's that? It's 2009, not 1999 - which was the last time they put out any new, good music? Oh yeah, I forgot. Carry on.

Be Realistic, Norm

I love to watch home improvement shows; they are the closest I ever come to watching reality TV. I like to see what people are doing to the inside of their homes and what are the new gadgets and gizmos that people can waste their money on in the kitchen. I also like the shows that teach you how to make one specific type of furniture, like New Yankee Workshop. I'll pay close attention as Norm, a bearded fellow who seems nice enough as the host, builds a beautiful chest of drawers, because in my head I'm fairly certain I could pull that off. Nevermind that I really shouldn't build anything more than shelves from scratch. (If you don't mind it being slightly off, I could also go as far as to build you a bookcase or a stand for your TV.) The rest of the stuff I've built should never be sat on by anyone over the age of 3, or at the very least anyone weighing more than 40 lbs.

My only problem with these shows is that they feature a lot of equipment that a normal person just doesn't have access too. The other day Norm was attempting to build a set of 3 tables that would fold into one another as a space saver. Well, he only had so much wood available to him, so he had to take a 1/2 inch thick piece and make it into 1/4 inch thick. He had a tool that split the wood, then another that cut it so it was square and a third piece of equipment that would sand both sides until it looked like a brand new piece of wood. Well, congrats that you have a large budget behind you, Norm, but I wouldn't even know where to shop for something like that. Then he had to cut a series of 5/32 inch grooves for the wood to go together evenly. Really, you need 5/32 inch cuts? I wouldn't even know where that is on a ruler and you expect a lay person to have a steady enough hand to pull off several cuts of that depth?

Just once, I would love to see a show done by a normal guy who just messes around in a workshop in his basement. I imagine it would go something like this:

Welcome to my basement. Today we're attempting to fix a loose shelf on a bookcase that had been like that for 3 years and I'm just now getting around to it. Unfortunately I don't have any glue at the ready and the Patriots kick off in 45 minutes. I don't have time to run to the store, but I told my wife 3 weeks ago I would get to this. So, instead we're just going to use a small piece of duct tape that I will fold over and over again until it's really skinny. Don't worry about how it looks, no one should be behind this bookcase anyway. Typically I would like to use clamps to hold the shelf in place for a while, but I don't know where my clamps are and this place is a mess, so bungee cords will do instead. Just to be safe, I'm then going to fire 8-10 nails into the shelf using my nail gun, even though 2 would be good enough, because I love to use my nailgun. By then it should be kickoff, so hopefully that will be good enough. And if it isn't, eh, we tried.

You see, that's a show everybody can relate to.

Exact Change and Soccer Beatdowns

One of the things that people always comment on is the fact that the cup holders in my car are filled with loose change. What I typically do is put any change that I get right into the cupholders and it never sees the inside of my pockets. I've had a couple girls point out that it makes any cup put in there pretty unstable, since the cups can't get level with the bottom. I, in response, ask them who told them they could bring a drink into my truck. I like having a lot of change in my car, because I would rather it be there than in my pockets, where it is very likely to fall out. It comes in the most handy whenever you are at any drive-thru. There is a great satisfaction in handing the teller exact change and only having to deal with bills coming back at you. Also, given the people who work in fast food, it's better to not have to make them do math.

-You know, I grew up with older sisters and also have seen footage of what goes down at department store sales, so I've known for a while that the whole "girls are made up of sugar, spice and everything nice" is a load of crap. But, this girl from New Mexico takes it to a whole other level.



I get she was being jostled with and that part of sports is you need to be ready to retaliate when someone messes with you. But if someone is pulling on your shorts, an appropriate level of response would be perhaps a shove, maybe a takedown. It is not pulling her to the ground by her hair. That is taking it up a notch. You have now seen why guys keep their hair short. The fact that this girl never got more than a yellow card just shows that officials in this game were terrible.

I Don't Need To See This

The other night I was lying in bed, flipping channels and all I wanted to see was a box score from the Nuggets/Blazers game, because I had a bet going over who would score more points, Carmello Anthony or Brandon Roy. I first flipped on ESPN and found that my timing sucked, because the Yankees had just won the World Series (here's my official take on that, by the way: Eh, whatever). Ok, that was a little inconvenient, because now they were going to be slurping the Yankees for a solid hour, so I instead tried ESPN2. No luck, as it was a football game between terrible schools on the West Coast. ESPN Classic and ESPNU also proved to be useless. I then gave a glance over at ESPNews. Nope, they were showing the Yankee press conferences. This is something ESPN does that drives me crazy. There is no need to show them on TV, yet they always cut into the highlights to show us the post-game press conferences.

Look, I love sports and even I think these are stupid. During my time in radio I got to go to Celtics practices, Patriot games as well as Red Sox games and attend a bunch of press conferences. You know what I learned about them? They're really freakin' boring. They just feature either the winning or losing coach spouting off cliches about the game and no one says much of anything. That's why reporters are there - so they can cut out the boring stuff and report the one interesting thing a guy may say during his 20 minutes of rambling. ESPN exists to show us the highlights of events, but they are literally making themselves unnecessary. If I can watch the press conference myself, why do I need to watch your show where you recap what is said at that same press conference? The only people who benefit from these things being on TV are newspapers who have had to cut their budgets so much they can't afford to send reporters to cover the games anymore. And it's never the good press conferences that are televised live, it's always the boring ones. The ones that are good enough to be turned into beer commercials are always on tape-delay.

This is where Division 3 schools are superior to Division 1 schools - no press conferences. When I was at Curry I had to cover a game where the team got blown out the gym by 40 points. After the game, I was walking towards the coach when she looked in my direction, saw the pad and pen in my hand and just said, "No." Fair enough. This was for everyone's benefit. What could she possibly say to explain the lack of effort? And how many different ways could I be expected to ask the question, "What the hell is wrong with your team?" By simply denying me, she saved both of us 5 minutes of our lives. If this was a D1 school she would be expected to stand in front of a podium for 20 minutes, creatively trying to come up with several different ways of saying, "We sucked." So, sure she made less money, had less fame and far less talent to work with, but at least there was one positive in there.

I'm Just Going To Pretend I Don't See It

Despite the best efforts of the women in my life, I'm still a pretty nondescript dresser. You would think that I would be better at it by now, but no; my wardrobe is a collection of jeans and tee-shirts. To make matters worse, I really don't even vary my tee-shirts that much. I have a rotation of about 15-20 that I wear around the house and use as undershirts on the random days that I actually need to wear a shirt with a collar. I have a dresser full of perfectly nice shirts, but still, I stick with the same ones over and over again. I think it's because guys have a special connection with their tee shirts. If we find a tee-shirt that fits well we'll wear it until there are holes in it... and then we'll keep wearing it until the hole gets too big (then it becomes a "working around the house" shirt - those can be made of holes for all we care). If it's a shirt that celebrates a team championship then you may have to tear that shirt off of us while we sleep.

I bring this up because I notice yesterday that one of my usual tee-shirts has developed a hole in it. Now, if it was a small hole in the back or even under an armpit I could ignore it and most likely forget about it. The problem is that the hole is front and center. I can only assume that this hole is going to get bigger with every wash. Therefore, this clearly is the beginning of the end for my Patriots "3X Super Bowl Champions" tee-shirt. Damn, and it was broken in just how I like my shirts.

-I almost feel bad for Urban Meyer and Florida (almost). Suspend a kid for just half a game when he tries to jam his fingers into an opponent's eye sockets and you're too lenient. Have the kid appease the world and suspend himself for the second half of that game and it looks like the players are in charge. Not to mention the fact that they're playing Vanderbilt this weekend and Meyer already has everyone questioning whether or not he'd have the guts to suspend his star linebacker if they were actually playing an opponent they couldn't beat with their second string. It's kind of a lot heaped on the guy at one time. But then I remembered he shunned Notre Dame to go to Florida and I go from feeling bad for the guy to hoping they plummet back to Earth when Tebow leaves.

Steroids, Dolphins, Bats and Pedro...

...yeah, it's been a weird couple of days.

-Congrats, PGA Tour, you've had your first steroid suspension. Sure it's a journeyman golfer who most people haven't heard of, but now you can declare that your testing policy works, point to a specific example, have ammo next time a blogger questions whether or not someone is on the juice and then the conspiracy theorists will still cry that you're shielding your stars from the harshest tests. You're just like baseball. Personally, I never thought that steroids would help a golfer and it's all about swing techniques. I'm fairly certain I can bench more than Josh and yet he can usually out-drive me because he just has a better swing (I have since decided that I can also blame this fact on equipment). Also, steroids will not help you putt. Besides, does this look like a body on performance enhancing drugs?

-Listen, Phillies fans, occasionally I know what I'm talking about. Just like I said would happen, now you've got Pedro pitching in Yankee Stadium for a do-or-die Game 6 against a lineup that will feature a professional designated hitter instead of an American League pitcher trying to figure out which end of the bat you swing with. Please, take my advice on this one - if Pedro gets you through the 5th inning and he's only given up a run or two, consider that found money. Do not push your luck and try to coax him through the 6th inning.

-Whenever a Division 1 school loses to a Division 2 school it's pretty embarrassing. Adding the fact that the Division 1 team was ranked in the Top 25 just puts fuel on the embarrassment fire. But to lose to a team nicknamed the Dolphins, from upstate New York where there are no dolphins for hundreds of miles? For shame, Syracuse.

-This clip of Manu Ginobili taking out a bat is all kind of nuts, but the more amusing part was when the trainer showed up with the Purell, like that was all you need after handling wild animals. Not surprisingly, Ginobili later had to get a couple rounds of rabies shots. Think it through next time, Manu. I would also like to know who the guy who just casually accepts the bat from Manu is. I hope he at least works there.

A Glimpse Into The Future

Despite the fact that I will watch just about any two teams play football, I usually don't have a rooting interest in games in which I don't have a team playing. I want to see a good, close game and then usually I want to see the upset. But, I tuned in with extra interest to the Brett Favre return to Green Bay, because I wanted to see how he was greeted by the fans in Wisconsin. I wasn't sure which side of the argument to come down on, because neither the Packers nor Favre came off particularly well during this mess. But, I was looking to the Green Bay fans for guidance, because sooner or later every fan will have to go through this same scenario.

It's a well known fact that there is no loyalty in sports anymore and to see one guy starting and ending a career in one city should be considered the exception, not the rule. So, the question of "to boo or not to boo" is one that will be revisited time and time again over the next couple of years all over the country. For example, what kind of reception are Yankee fans going to give Jorge Posada when he's hitting .215 for Baltimore in a couple years? If Brett Favre can get booed in Green Bay, then I think everyone is fair game. I don't like it when sports reporters try and tell fans how they should or should not act in this scenario. Personally, I feel that every fan should only be held to 3 rules at every game:

1. Stand up and shut up during the National Anthem. It's two minutes out of your life and a stadium is not the place for a political protest.
2. Don't throw anything onto the field. Don't even know if I have to expound on this one.
3. Keep wives and children out of anything said in a player's direction. Just because you paid $40 for your ticket doesn't mean you can leave your common decency at the door.

In essence, the "to boo or not to boo" argument comes down to a couple factors: player's tenure with a team and team they currently play for. In the example of someone like Johnny Damon, he wasn't with the Sox long enough for fans to overlook his signing with the Yankees. But a guy like Ray Bourque, the fans were openly rooting for him to get traded to a good team and there was no ill will. Hell, he got a parade in Boston for winning a Stanley Cup in Colorado. Apparently to Packers fans, 16 years of service can be erased by signing with the Vikings. So, I guess if Tom Brady is wearing a Jets jersey in 6 years, I have my answer.

Drive-Thru Ramblings

The other day I was a co-pilot on a quest to find Wendy's gift certificates to give to the nieces in lieu of candy on Halloween (both sisters, by the way, have no idea where my mom got the idea that the girls couldn't have candy). While waiting outside at a Wendy's I saw car after car turn into the parking lot and totally miss the drive-thru lane. This was very unusual sight to me. It was clearly marked with a yellow line but I must have seen 4 cars turn in, get all the way to the window, only to realise they over shot the menu board and were in the wrong lane. They would then slam on their brakes, throw the car in reverse and backup, usually without seeing if anyone else was behind them. I share a road with these people and they aren't sure how a drive-thru works. I would have thought it was covered on day one of driving school around here.

-I must confess, I had my own awkward drive-thru moment the other day. I was picking up lunch for a couple people, only almost everyone already had a drink and I was the only one getting fries. When you order a lot of food, but only one drink, you immediately assume that guy taking your order thinks all that food is just for you (because that is what you would think should the situation be reversed) and you get the urge to clarify. "Can I have 6 McChickens, 2 cheeseburgers, a large chocolate shake and a medium fries? ...Uh, and just so you know, only 2 of those McChickens are for me."

-Dear Owen Daniels,
I first want to congratulate you on your fine half-season. You were on your way to a Pro Bowl-caliber year. Secondly, I want to apologize for adding you to my fantasy team before this weekend. That you would blow out your ACL two plays into the very next game seems almost obvious right now. My bad. Next year, I promise, I'll stay away.

A Proposal and More Halloween Pictures

After yesterday, I want to float an idea out to the world - let's make Halloween a movable holiday and have it always be on the last Saturday in October. I know that it's supposed to be the day before All Saints' Day on November 1st (there are all the years of Catholic schooling shining through), but Easter is a much bigger deal and that is never on the same date. There are just so many benefits when Halloween falls on the weekend. If you're too old to trick-or-treat, but you don't have any kids you can go out Friday... say, to Salem, Massachusetts where there is still a lot going on, only with half the crowd that is there on Halloween... then spend Saturday watching college football, gorging on Halloween candy once it passes 9 o'clock at night and then you've got Sunday as a day of recovery. If you do have kids you can shuttle them around to whatever relatives want to see them in their costumes during the day, still start trick-or-treating right when it gets dark and get the little ones off the street before the older kids take over. Everything just works out so much better. I like this idea, we need to get the ball rolling on it.

And now, some pictures from Halloween '09...

Not only does Madeline look adorable, but that costume doubles as pajamas.
Stylish, yet practical.

Here's why Abigail should not enter the spy game:
a week before Halloween I asked her what her costume was. Her response?
"It's a secret! It's a secret! ... Snow White."

Charlotte is somewhere under all those frills, I swear.

The Brenizer ladies were matching scary witches,
only Addison stepped it up with the scary nail polish.

Shivaun was supposed to be Flo from the Progressive Insurance ads,
but I think she just really wanted to go as "Amy Waldron's sister."
Also, I think Marshall will be breaking out that Han Solo costume
even when it's not Halloween anymore.