The other day I ran out of conditioner in the shower. This shouldn't be a surprise because I tend to use way more conditioner than shampoo and so I go through it much faster. I saw the bottle was getting low so you think I would have had the common sense to put a replacement bottle in the shower, ready to jump in when the bottle was finally empty, but that would have meant there were 4 whole products in my shower and that was just asking too much. The worst part was that I kept forgetting to put the new bottle into the shower and God knows I wasn't getting out of the shower once I had gotten in. (There is nothing worse than needing to get out of the shower before you are done.) It was only after a couple days of adding water to the bottle and showering with conditioner water that I finally remembered to look under the sink and grab a new bottle of (what I thought was) conditioner.
Turns out that I should have looked closer because it was actually just more shampoo. Now, in my defense, it was in the same shape bottle as conditioner and also was the same color as the previous container. Really, if you just grabbed and didn't look (as I often do) it was an easy mistake to make. I actually didn't realise that it was shampoo until I put some on my head and came away with way too many bubbles. That's when I checked the label and saw my error. Now, they always tell you to rinse, lather and repeat, but I don't know if that rule still applies when you are switching brands of shampoo in mid-shower. I'm not sure why it bothered me as much as it did because my hair at it's longest point is only about three inches and it's not like I style it at all. Really, I should have been happy about the extra body my hair was going to have that day. Still, I was concerned that I wouldn't be using any conditioner that day. Then about 30 seconds later I remembered I'm a guy, this is why I keep my hair short and I can just wear a hat all day. It really is just so much better being a dude sometimes.
-With all the rain in the area the last couple of days, there are a lot of streets closed due to high water spilling into the road. I was trying to get from Route 1A to Route 109 this afternoon, but couldn't take the usual way of simply turning down Route 27 because that intersection was essentially under water. I knew of another way to go, but it would have required going passed my destination and then back-tracking, so I tried taking one of the side streets in an effort to discover a new side road. After 30 minutes of twisting and turning I came out about 50 feet down the street from where I entered. I have to say, this is one of those days when a GPS would have pretty much paid for itself.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The Hunt Is On
Yesterday morning I stumbled my way into the bathroom when I noticed a large spot on the far wall. I had to get rather close because I wasn't wearing my glasses, which was when I noticed it was not a mark on the wall, but a rather large bug. Now, outside of large spiders (which I prefer to take out with a sniper rifle) I'm not too freaked out by large insects; it's just that normally we get farther into spring and summer before they start to show up. Late March, especially given the cold front that blew through here the other day, seems like it would have taken these guys out. Undaunted, I returned to my room and retrieved a sneaker to dispense some lethal justice on the insect. (Its crime? Trespassing. Its punishment? Death.) I came back, took a swing at the guy but, despite the insect's large dimensions, missed (he was quicker than he looked). The bigger problem was that the bug not only ducked my attempt to kill it, he then disappeared. I have no idea where this guy went. I checked all around the window, in the cabinets, under the heater, behind the toilet - nothing. Apparently this particular bug comes equipped with a cloaking device. Great.
Remember like 150 words ago when I said that I wasn't freaked out by large bugs? Yeah, well, that doesn't apply when I have my pants around my ankles and I'm on the throne or if I'm in the shower. I don't care that this is probably some harmless type of water bug, at those two points I really don't like it when small, creepy crawlers make their way across my feet or worse, hop onto my back. If this bug had disappeared in any other room I wouldn't have given it another thought, but now I'm concerned that he's plotting to come back out when I am at my most vulnerable. It's a helpless feeling. I thought about leaving the window open last night, hoping that perhaps he would leave on his own accord, but unfortunately the screen would get in the way. My only hope is that I spot him when he makes a run for it. At the very least I will not be walking into the bathroom barefoot for the foreseeable future.
-So, Al Skinner was fired at Boston College's basketball coach the other day after he requested the opportunity to interview at St. John's. Athletic Director Gene DeFilippo said that they kept the firing quiet so that he still had some leverage going into the negotiations with St. John's (DeFilippo also said it was a mutual decision, but the fact that Skinner will be paid the remaining years of his salary make you think otherwise). Given that the Johnnies hired Steve Lavin this afternoon, I would bet that, in hindsight, Skinner would rather have the job than the leverage. This is the second time in a couple years that B.C. has fired a coach just for requesting permission to interview for another job (Jeff Jagodzinski was let go last January after interviewing for the NY Jets job). Apparently, to Boston College, looking is the same as cheating. I guess it's not too surprising that they haven't have better luck with coaches.
Remember like 150 words ago when I said that I wasn't freaked out by large bugs? Yeah, well, that doesn't apply when I have my pants around my ankles and I'm on the throne or if I'm in the shower. I don't care that this is probably some harmless type of water bug, at those two points I really don't like it when small, creepy crawlers make their way across my feet or worse, hop onto my back. If this bug had disappeared in any other room I wouldn't have given it another thought, but now I'm concerned that he's plotting to come back out when I am at my most vulnerable. It's a helpless feeling. I thought about leaving the window open last night, hoping that perhaps he would leave on his own accord, but unfortunately the screen would get in the way. My only hope is that I spot him when he makes a run for it. At the very least I will not be walking into the bathroom barefoot for the foreseeable future.
-So, Al Skinner was fired at Boston College's basketball coach the other day after he requested the opportunity to interview at St. John's. Athletic Director Gene DeFilippo said that they kept the firing quiet so that he still had some leverage going into the negotiations with St. John's (DeFilippo also said it was a mutual decision, but the fact that Skinner will be paid the remaining years of his salary make you think otherwise). Given that the Johnnies hired Steve Lavin this afternoon, I would bet that, in hindsight, Skinner would rather have the job than the leverage. This is the second time in a couple years that B.C. has fired a coach just for requesting permission to interview for another job (Jeff Jagodzinski was let go last January after interviewing for the NY Jets job). Apparently, to Boston College, looking is the same as cheating. I guess it's not too surprising that they haven't have better luck with coaches.
Monday, March 29, 2010
A New Job Goal
A couple weeks ago I said that I wanted my next job to be as a casting director for Dancing With The Stars because I imagine you get paid a lot of money to sit back while let D-Level stars come to you and beg to put them on your show. However, after reading this article, I have decided instead I want my next job to work as a consultant for a search firm. For those of you who may not feel like clicking through the article, I'll sum it up: Oregon has never been particularly good at basketball, they are about to open a big, new basketball gym and their major boosters, like Phil Knight, want to see some progress on the court. Not wanting to cut off that sweet Nike funding, Oregon is willing to throw a ton of money at this problem and hired a search firm to put together a list of the best possible coaching candidates. After an exhaustive search, the firm came back and told them to throw all the money the can muster at Michigan State's Tom Izzo and make him the highest paid coach in college basketball. Allegedly, other candidates they think Oregon should go after include North Carolina's Roy Williams. Obviously, the search team put a lot of thought into this.
This is the equivalent of a talent agency for a movie studio telling studio executives they should offer every role to Johnny Depp and if he turns them down to try and go after Brad Pitt. Basically, it is the laziest strategy possible. Now, sure, when you have a ton of money to spend you could go after the biggest name. But, I don't need to pay a search firm to tell me that. Also, if you follow college basketball for fifteen minutes then you know Izzo is not leaving Michigan State. He's a Michigan native and was a loyal State assistant for twelve years before getting the head coaching gig. In other words, he's joined at the hip with that university. He turned down offers from a couple NBA teams to stay in East Lansing, so to think he would leave to build a team up in Oregon is pretty ludicrous. For the kind of money that this search team was paid I would have wanted a list of the next up-and-coming assistants or at least a head man at a small school they could woo away with the promise of an increased athletic budget. What they got instead was a fantasy-draft-like list of college basketball coaches. But, on the bright side, I'm sure Izzo can use this to get a raise at Michigan State, so at least someone besides the search firm will make some money in this deal.
-Tonight is the first night of Passover, so Chag kashruth pesach if you are celebrating. Go easy on the manischewitz.
This is the equivalent of a talent agency for a movie studio telling studio executives they should offer every role to Johnny Depp and if he turns them down to try and go after Brad Pitt. Basically, it is the laziest strategy possible. Now, sure, when you have a ton of money to spend you could go after the biggest name. But, I don't need to pay a search firm to tell me that. Also, if you follow college basketball for fifteen minutes then you know Izzo is not leaving Michigan State. He's a Michigan native and was a loyal State assistant for twelve years before getting the head coaching gig. In other words, he's joined at the hip with that university. He turned down offers from a couple NBA teams to stay in East Lansing, so to think he would leave to build a team up in Oregon is pretty ludicrous. For the kind of money that this search team was paid I would have wanted a list of the next up-and-coming assistants or at least a head man at a small school they could woo away with the promise of an increased athletic budget. What they got instead was a fantasy-draft-like list of college basketball coaches. But, on the bright side, I'm sure Izzo can use this to get a raise at Michigan State, so at least someone besides the search firm will make some money in this deal.
-Tonight is the first night of Passover, so Chag kashruth pesach if you are celebrating. Go easy on the manischewitz.
| Jokes.com | ||||
| Adam Ferrara - Passover Seder | ||||
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Sunday, March 28, 2010
Candy, Coaches and Time Changes
-I think you can learn about a person by how they eat Skittles. I mean, there are a lot of ways you can attack a package. It's not like M&Ms, where they are all taste the same. You can just shove a handful in your mouth (showing you are an impatient person, but willing to mix the flavors), eat them one at a time (prolonging the enjoyment of eating candy while admitting that you can only handle so much at a time), or sort them by color and eat all the ones that are that flavor all at once (displaying your organizational skills). Turns out that they are a very intuitive candy.
-While we're on the subject of small, flavored balls of sugar - why do they continue to make licorice flavored jelly beans? No one likes them and they always end up as the only flavor remaining in the candy bowl. You get all excited because you see candy in the candy bowl, only to open it up and discover only the licorice flavor jelly beans left - that's like a slap in the face. Of course, then comes the bargaining, where you say to yourself, "Maybe that's a different flavor... I mean, they look like they could have a slight purple tint to them... maybe they're not licorice, but some sort of grape." This is terrible thing to do to yourself, cause all you are doing is raising the level of disappointment you are going to feel when you bite into one and, sure enough, they are still licorice-flavored, just like the black ones have been since the dawn of time.
-Yes, in case you were wondering, I still have another week to go before I can eat chocolate again.
-I didn't mind Urban Meyer publicly taking a reporter to task for printing comments made by one of his players about former quarterback, Tim Tebow, even though the quotes were printed accurately. Any words spoken that could, in the slightest way, be perceived as a dig at Tebow are going to be blown out of proportion near Gainesville and I'm sure Meyer was just trying to deflect some attention. I applaud the intentions, no matter how dickish the execution. What I took offense to, however, was the fact that he apologized to the reporter in a "private meeting." I hate people who do this - yell in public, but apologize in private. If you feel strongly enough to cause a scene and embarrass this guy, who was only trying to do his job, in front of dozens of players, coaches, other media members and boosters, then Meyer should be man enough to apologize in the same public setting. There is a word for people that only acknowledge their mistakes in private - they're called cowards.
-Did you see that Russia just decided to get rid of two time zones? Previously the county was divided by eleven separate time zones, but the Russian President decided that it was too many and had two entire time zones not spring their clocks forward so the country only has nine different time zones to deal with. When a man can simply declare what time your clocks will say and everyone goes along with it, I think it it safe to say he has been given too much power.
-It was just announced that this season will be the final one for 24. Now, I only have to hold out for another couple of months of that show (and also Lost) at which point I'll be down to only Heroes and American Idol remaining for shows that I am constantly badgered by other people to watch. See, I knew I would eventually win if I could just wait them out. No show can last forever.... except The Simpsons.
-While we're on the subject of small, flavored balls of sugar - why do they continue to make licorice flavored jelly beans? No one likes them and they always end up as the only flavor remaining in the candy bowl. You get all excited because you see candy in the candy bowl, only to open it up and discover only the licorice flavor jelly beans left - that's like a slap in the face. Of course, then comes the bargaining, where you say to yourself, "Maybe that's a different flavor... I mean, they look like they could have a slight purple tint to them... maybe they're not licorice, but some sort of grape." This is terrible thing to do to yourself, cause all you are doing is raising the level of disappointment you are going to feel when you bite into one and, sure enough, they are still licorice-flavored, just like the black ones have been since the dawn of time.
-Yes, in case you were wondering, I still have another week to go before I can eat chocolate again.
-I didn't mind Urban Meyer publicly taking a reporter to task for printing comments made by one of his players about former quarterback, Tim Tebow, even though the quotes were printed accurately. Any words spoken that could, in the slightest way, be perceived as a dig at Tebow are going to be blown out of proportion near Gainesville and I'm sure Meyer was just trying to deflect some attention. I applaud the intentions, no matter how dickish the execution. What I took offense to, however, was the fact that he apologized to the reporter in a "private meeting." I hate people who do this - yell in public, but apologize in private. If you feel strongly enough to cause a scene and embarrass this guy, who was only trying to do his job, in front of dozens of players, coaches, other media members and boosters, then Meyer should be man enough to apologize in the same public setting. There is a word for people that only acknowledge their mistakes in private - they're called cowards.
-Did you see that Russia just decided to get rid of two time zones? Previously the county was divided by eleven separate time zones, but the Russian President decided that it was too many and had two entire time zones not spring their clocks forward so the country only has nine different time zones to deal with. When a man can simply declare what time your clocks will say and everyone goes along with it, I think it it safe to say he has been given too much power.
-It was just announced that this season will be the final one for 24. Now, I only have to hold out for another couple of months of that show (and also Lost) at which point I'll be down to only Heroes and American Idol remaining for shows that I am constantly badgered by other people to watch. See, I knew I would eventually win if I could just wait them out. No show can last forever.... except The Simpsons.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
The Weird Al Movie
They're making a big fuss about the new movie, The Runaways, about Joan Jett and her musical group of the same name that is coming out soon. Forgive me if I'm simply forgetting, but were The Runaways ever that big of a deal? They had a short run and a couple of hits, but is that enough to deserve an entire movie based on the band? We went from The Doors, Johnny Cash and Ray Charles to The Runaways? Just feels like we skipped a few steps along the way. The sad part is there are good movies to be made about much more important acts, but for some reason no one wants to attempt them. Who wouldn't like to see a Jimi Hendrix movie? Or, if you could afford the musical release fees, what about a movie based on the careers of the Beatles? Now that would be a movie I would be interested in. The good news is that people are starting to notice the trend of taking people's stories and making them much more dramatic than they need to be.
The sad part is, that fake movie is probably already in pre-production.
-Since I don't really have a horse in the race, it doesn't make much difference to me whether or not Donovan McNabb stays with the Eagles or not. But, if I were the Eagles I would listen to offers for him and if I were the Rams, I would be very interested in acquiring him. Either way I think he's gone after this season in Philadelphia, so why not get something for him before he gets released? If you are the Rams he allows you to either avoid taking a quarterback for another year or take a guy in a later round that you can sit for a couple years (Tebow?). I'm not sold on either of the quarterbacks at the top of this year's draft and would much rather go with the proven commodity, even if it's only for a year.
The sad part is, that fake movie is probably already in pre-production.
-Since I don't really have a horse in the race, it doesn't make much difference to me whether or not Donovan McNabb stays with the Eagles or not. But, if I were the Eagles I would listen to offers for him and if I were the Rams, I would be very interested in acquiring him. Either way I think he's gone after this season in Philadelphia, so why not get something for him before he gets released? If you are the Rams he allows you to either avoid taking a quarterback for another year or take a guy in a later round that you can sit for a couple years (Tebow?). I'm not sold on either of the quarterbacks at the top of this year's draft and would much rather go with the proven commodity, even if it's only for a year.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Getting Cut
A couple weeks ago I went to fill my tank at the local gas station which always has the lowest price on gas by at least ten cents. Because of the fact that their prices are always so low, there is usually a line to get gas and the station has hired people to direct cars in line to the next available pump. There are two entrances to the station and if you enter from the highway you actually have to turn away from the pumps to get into line. Now, everyone who regularly goes to this station has knowledge of the system and most people abide by it. However, as I was next in line to get my gas, a car flew in off the highway and went right to the open pump, skirting the entire line. I had just been cut.
Now, at 30 years old you would think that I would be better equipped to handle someone doing something as simple as cutting in line. Really, it was a minor issue that would hold me up for a grand total of 4 minutes. Instead it really bugged the hell out of me. Who did this person think they were? Also, after a lifetime of watching people cut other people in line you would think that I would be ready with a snappy comeback or a biting insult to make the person feel like the dickhead that they obviously are. Unfortunately, none of that happened. Sadly I did the same thing at 30 that I would do at age 10 while still in grade school - I looked for the authority figure. I looked to the guy whose job is it to direct traffic and gave him the palms up, shoulders up look which is universally known as the "What the hell, man?" look. He just sort of stared back at me. I guess when you're being paid to guide cars to open gas pumps I shouldn't expect a whole lot of work pride.
-Normally I find the practice of wearing a bag on your head as a fan of a crappy team to be a cheap way to get on TV. It's an old, cliched tradition. However, I think it was fine of the fans who did this at the Nets game the other night for two reasons:
1. according to reports they were not yelling anything profane.
2. the seats they were in cost about $900.
As I've said before I feel like the only obligations of fans are to stand for the National Anthem and leave wives, moms and children out of any insults hurled at players. So, if these guys do those things then they have the right to show management that they are ashamed at how the Nets have played this year. Honestly, the team is going to win about 10 games the entire year - the Nets are lucky they even have fans at this point.
Now, at 30 years old you would think that I would be better equipped to handle someone doing something as simple as cutting in line. Really, it was a minor issue that would hold me up for a grand total of 4 minutes. Instead it really bugged the hell out of me. Who did this person think they were? Also, after a lifetime of watching people cut other people in line you would think that I would be ready with a snappy comeback or a biting insult to make the person feel like the dickhead that they obviously are. Unfortunately, none of that happened. Sadly I did the same thing at 30 that I would do at age 10 while still in grade school - I looked for the authority figure. I looked to the guy whose job is it to direct traffic and gave him the palms up, shoulders up look which is universally known as the "What the hell, man?" look. He just sort of stared back at me. I guess when you're being paid to guide cars to open gas pumps I shouldn't expect a whole lot of work pride.
-Normally I find the practice of wearing a bag on your head as a fan of a crappy team to be a cheap way to get on TV. It's an old, cliched tradition. However, I think it was fine of the fans who did this at the Nets game the other night for two reasons:
1. according to reports they were not yelling anything profane.
2. the seats they were in cost about $900.
As I've said before I feel like the only obligations of fans are to stand for the National Anthem and leave wives, moms and children out of any insults hurled at players. So, if these guys do those things then they have the right to show management that they are ashamed at how the Nets have played this year. Honestly, the team is going to win about 10 games the entire year - the Nets are lucky they even have fans at this point.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
A Day's Worth Of Ramblings...
-Does Gloria Allred have any other kinds of clients or does she just sit around all day, hoping for high-profile men to cheat on their wives with at least 4 different women, just so that she can come out and represent mistress #4? What do these women need a lawyer for anyway? Speaking of, Tiger Woods owes Jesse James a beer or something. He has been temporarily knocked out of the ranks as highest-profile serial-cheater.
-There has been a new development in the Ben Roethlisberger story, which is the height of amusing. Apparently the police were watching the tape from the bar that night when they were called away to investigate a murder. Of course, that took priority. So, they came back a while later only to discover that the station's DVR had recorded over the tape. They sent it to the crime lab, who could not recover the orginal images. (Apparently, everything you have ever seen on CSI is complete bullshit.) First off, I only thought that kind of thing happened on TV Cop dramas. Secondly, I need to know what the DVR was set to record. Was it Cops? World's Deadliest Police Chases? I need all the details!
-Apparently Verizon Fios and I have very different definitions of the word 'easy.' I found there is a new widget that will give you a Sudoku puzzle you can do on your TV, but they turn out to be a lot harder that the ones I have found on the web. Also, when you finally get one done correctly, all you get is a very un-satisfying "Congratulations" that appears on the side of the screen. This is why video games are so much better on systems that are designed for nothing else. On the new systems when you beat a level of a video game you are treated to a mini-movie as a way of celebration.
-While I'm picking on my cable provider, I'm not sure if someone at Verizon is the one doing the programming for this channel, but I want to complain about one of the Urge music channels that is in the high 1000s, the Arena Rock Channel. Now I understand there is a need to diversify and thus, this channel can't just be a loop of "We Are The Champions" and "Rock and Roll, Part 2." But, you could at least play music that you occasionally hear at sporting events. I have turned this channel on repeatedly over the last couple of days and literally every time I have, the Foo Fighters or System of a Down have been the songs that have been playing. Once it was several songs by those artists in a row. While I don't have a problem with either band, I have to say that I have been to literally hundreds of sporting events in my lifetime and I have never heard anything played by either group in a stadium. They belong on an alternative music channel, of which I am sure there are 10-12.
-There has been a new development in the Ben Roethlisberger story, which is the height of amusing. Apparently the police were watching the tape from the bar that night when they were called away to investigate a murder. Of course, that took priority. So, they came back a while later only to discover that the station's DVR had recorded over the tape. They sent it to the crime lab, who could not recover the orginal images. (Apparently, everything you have ever seen on CSI is complete bullshit.) First off, I only thought that kind of thing happened on TV Cop dramas. Secondly, I need to know what the DVR was set to record. Was it Cops? World's Deadliest Police Chases? I need all the details!
-Apparently Verizon Fios and I have very different definitions of the word 'easy.' I found there is a new widget that will give you a Sudoku puzzle you can do on your TV, but they turn out to be a lot harder that the ones I have found on the web. Also, when you finally get one done correctly, all you get is a very un-satisfying "Congratulations" that appears on the side of the screen. This is why video games are so much better on systems that are designed for nothing else. On the new systems when you beat a level of a video game you are treated to a mini-movie as a way of celebration.
-While I'm picking on my cable provider, I'm not sure if someone at Verizon is the one doing the programming for this channel, but I want to complain about one of the Urge music channels that is in the high 1000s, the Arena Rock Channel. Now I understand there is a need to diversify and thus, this channel can't just be a loop of "We Are The Champions" and "Rock and Roll, Part 2." But, you could at least play music that you occasionally hear at sporting events. I have turned this channel on repeatedly over the last couple of days and literally every time I have, the Foo Fighters or System of a Down have been the songs that have been playing. Once it was several songs by those artists in a row. While I don't have a problem with either band, I have to say that I have been to literally hundreds of sporting events in my lifetime and I have never heard anything played by either group in a stadium. They belong on an alternative music channel, of which I am sure there are 10-12.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
What Was Wrong With Christian?
As a self-confessed sports nut, I have no problem with people who want to name their sons and daughters after famous athletes. And while I think it's probably a better idea to stick to their first names, there are occasions where an athlete's last name could make a solid first name for a kid. I just happen to think it is better when confined to a middle name. (Really, if Antoine Walker had played his entire career with the Celtics, Kevin Walker Rakauskas would have been in strong contention for my future son.) The point is some last names are last names for a reason - they do not fit in the lead-off spot. It is with that in mind I bring you the story of a family in which the father is a big Duke fan and the mom grew up a fan of the UNC Tarheels (for those of you who don't follow college basketball and live above the Mason-Dixon line, think Yankees/Red Sox-level rivalry). The father was given the first name, the mom the middle name and the father went with: Laettner. As in Christian Laettner, just about the most hated of all Duke players among Tarheel fans.
I'm sure this father thinks he has pulled off a master stroke, because not only will this pretty much ensure his son has to grow up rooting for Duke (a big deal in a split-school-rivalry household), but the schoolyard bullies will have a hell of time rhyming something with "Laettner." I can't argue that point, because it's true little kids have a limited vocabulary to work with. But, there is another issue for this poor kid to deal with from here on out - what if he sucks at basketball? Everyone in North Carolina is going to be aware of where his first name came from, so what if the kid can't dribble or shoot? The Dukies he will inevitably grow up with are going to give him an endless line of crap if he is continually the last kid picked during recess (really, it's a good thing he won't be growing up in the Minneapolis area). It would be the same as living in New York, naming a son Micky Mantle and finding out he fielded like Edward Sissorhands. Also, I hope they are prepared for a lifetime of paying extra for customization every time they take the kid to a theme park and he starts looking for his name among the license plate magnets, because I can pretty much guarantee "Laettner" isn't going to be there. That will have to be special ordered.
All that being said, I want to commend the wife for being this cool about letting her husband have carte-blanche when it came to naming their son and the father for having the good sense to put a ring on the finger of a woman so into sports. But then I saw what she picked out for the child's middle name: Keanu. (She also pitched Gavin Rossdale as a name, in honor of the musician. Apparently this woman loves terrible music and horrible acting.) That's when it dawned on me that she is probably as out-there as the father is. Now I'm wondering how obscure a name he could have gone with before she said no. Trajan? Krzyzewski? Wojciehowski? And, just so you know, Laettner Keanu, I think changing someone's name is a fairly easy process you can undertake as soon as you turn 18.
I'm sure this father thinks he has pulled off a master stroke, because not only will this pretty much ensure his son has to grow up rooting for Duke (a big deal in a split-school-rivalry household), but the schoolyard bullies will have a hell of time rhyming something with "Laettner." I can't argue that point, because it's true little kids have a limited vocabulary to work with. But, there is another issue for this poor kid to deal with from here on out - what if he sucks at basketball? Everyone in North Carolina is going to be aware of where his first name came from, so what if the kid can't dribble or shoot? The Dukies he will inevitably grow up with are going to give him an endless line of crap if he is continually the last kid picked during recess (really, it's a good thing he won't be growing up in the Minneapolis area). It would be the same as living in New York, naming a son Micky Mantle and finding out he fielded like Edward Sissorhands. Also, I hope they are prepared for a lifetime of paying extra for customization every time they take the kid to a theme park and he starts looking for his name among the license plate magnets, because I can pretty much guarantee "Laettner" isn't going to be there. That will have to be special ordered.
All that being said, I want to commend the wife for being this cool about letting her husband have carte-blanche when it came to naming their son and the father for having the good sense to put a ring on the finger of a woman so into sports. But then I saw what she picked out for the child's middle name: Keanu. (She also pitched Gavin Rossdale as a name, in honor of the musician. Apparently this woman loves terrible music and horrible acting.) That's when it dawned on me that she is probably as out-there as the father is. Now I'm wondering how obscure a name he could have gone with before she said no. Trajan? Krzyzewski? Wojciehowski? And, just so you know, Laettner Keanu, I think changing someone's name is a fairly easy process you can undertake as soon as you turn 18.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Two Questions...
Did you know that the NCAA Fencing Championships are being hosted in Boston this year? Follow up: did you even know that there was an NCAA Fencing Championship? I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the tournament is being hosted by Harvard, because I find it hard to imagine that there are many fencing teams outside the Ivy League. Also, if your school does have a fencing team I feel like you should never again ask a booster to contribute to the athletics department, because clearly you are doing very well in the fund-raising department. Now, I have my niece's Christening this weekend, so I'm going to have tape Saturday's matches. I hope none of you guys tell me the results beforehand and let me enjoy finding out on my own. In honor of the fencing tournament, here is one of my favorite movie scenes of all-time, only made better by the presence of light sabers.
By the way, aren't you glad that this is what people have decided to use the Internet for?
By the way, aren't you glad that this is what people have decided to use the Internet for?
Monday, March 22, 2010
Tiger, Tiger, Woods, Yo
When Tiger Woods announced last week that he would be coming back to golf at the Masters, I have to admit I didn't really get with the decision. Augusta National is not a course you want to play as your first event of the year. I thought with no warm-up tournament it would be really hard to play well and compete for the win. I still maintain that winning will be the best way for Woods to rehabilitate his image. But, then I saw the Tom Rinaldi interview last night and I realised something: Woods doesn't care about winning this one, he only wants to control as much of his comeback as he can. Last night's interview was all about trying to do as much damage-control as he could before his first round back. That's why he picked the Masters over some other warm-up tournament - the officials at Augusta National will help him control the media much more than any place else.
The Masters is an invitation-only course and if you break one of their rules they toss you out. Not for the day, not for the week, but for life. Golf fans hold the course in too high a regard to risk never being allowed back and any media getting tossed out may as well start covering another sport. They won't be giving press credentials to the TMZs of the world and have enough security that sneaking onto the course would be really hard. If those guys want to cover the Masters they can put up base camp a mile away in the same mall parking lot that the protesters and the Klan will be set up in. That's some fine company they will be sharing, to be sure. And they can forget about starting a sponsorship boycott to try and raise a stink about freedom of the press, because the Masters makes so much money that will just go on without commercials, like they did for the couple years when Martha Burke said she would raise hell about Augusta having no female members. The only thing that happened after that was people were happy about how few commercials there were and there are still no female members.
As for the actual interview I thought Rinaldi did a very good job last night, even though he was clearly on a time clock and had to rush to ask all his follow-up questions. He tried to get Woods to talk about his car crash and didn't lob too many softballs in his direction. I'm not sure how much this helped Woods, though. I admit seeing him confess he was nervous about how he would be received was kind of surprising and not something he would have talked about this time last year, but other than that it was still seemed like a set of pre-rehearsed answers. I have come around from my original position and now think that we have reached a point with Woods that he needs to stop doing these short, controlled interviews and just needs to go play. Honestly, if you're not going to acknowledge the questions that everyone wants the answers to, just repeating it's a private matter, then just shut up and go play. Let a string of birdies answer the questions for you.
The Masters is an invitation-only course and if you break one of their rules they toss you out. Not for the day, not for the week, but for life. Golf fans hold the course in too high a regard to risk never being allowed back and any media getting tossed out may as well start covering another sport. They won't be giving press credentials to the TMZs of the world and have enough security that sneaking onto the course would be really hard. If those guys want to cover the Masters they can put up base camp a mile away in the same mall parking lot that the protesters and the Klan will be set up in. That's some fine company they will be sharing, to be sure. And they can forget about starting a sponsorship boycott to try and raise a stink about freedom of the press, because the Masters makes so much money that will just go on without commercials, like they did for the couple years when Martha Burke said she would raise hell about Augusta having no female members. The only thing that happened after that was people were happy about how few commercials there were and there are still no female members.
As for the actual interview I thought Rinaldi did a very good job last night, even though he was clearly on a time clock and had to rush to ask all his follow-up questions. He tried to get Woods to talk about his car crash and didn't lob too many softballs in his direction. I'm not sure how much this helped Woods, though. I admit seeing him confess he was nervous about how he would be received was kind of surprising and not something he would have talked about this time last year, but other than that it was still seemed like a set of pre-rehearsed answers. I have come around from my original position and now think that we have reached a point with Woods that he needs to stop doing these short, controlled interviews and just needs to go play. Honestly, if you're not going to acknowledge the questions that everyone wants the answers to, just repeating it's a private matter, then just shut up and go play. Let a string of birdies answer the questions for you.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Just Some Quickies..
-So, how's your bracket looking? Cause at this point I've passed hoping the rest of my brackets can recover to salvage some respectability and begun openly rooting for as many high-seeds to fall so the only people with any chance to have winning brackets are either really religious old ladies who picked Saint Mary's or people who went to Northern Iowa.
-I suppose of the remaining teams, you would have to consider Kentucky and all their super freshman as the favorites. Guess in this kind of year that means I should put all my money on Cornell.
-Really, Jesse James? Really? You thought that was a good idea? Seriously, man? You really thought that the woman with a tattoo on her forehead was going to stay quiet? I think anyone that covered with tattoos must have some attention issues. Hell, James is that covered so you think he would know that better than most.
-Fun Fact about that woman's forehead tattoo: it reads, "Pray for us sinners because we are all sinners." So, not only is it stupid and horribly placed, it is also too wordy.
-On that same note, tattoo model seems like one of those jobs that requires you to very quickly commit to making a career. When you've gotten to the point that people are putting tattoos on your forehead I feel like you have passed the point of it only being something to pay the bills until you can get a new job back into the financial sector.
-I suppose of the remaining teams, you would have to consider Kentucky and all their super freshman as the favorites. Guess in this kind of year that means I should put all my money on Cornell.
-Really, Jesse James? Really? You thought that was a good idea? Seriously, man? You really thought that the woman with a tattoo on her forehead was going to stay quiet? I think anyone that covered with tattoos must have some attention issues. Hell, James is that covered so you think he would know that better than most.
-Fun Fact about that woman's forehead tattoo: it reads, "Pray for us sinners because we are all sinners." So, not only is it stupid and horribly placed, it is also too wordy.
-On that same note, tattoo model seems like one of those jobs that requires you to very quickly commit to making a career. When you've gotten to the point that people are putting tattoos on your forehead I feel like you have passed the point of it only being something to pay the bills until you can get a new job back into the financial sector.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
How About Leaving Some Mystery?
So, after roughly 435,000 promos over the last couple of weeks, the new series Justified premiered on FX the other night. Now, I typically enjoy Timothy Olyphant's work so I thought I would watch the first episode. It turned out to be an ok show. Not the greatest show I've ever seen, but it beats a lot of what passes for original entertainment these days. I'll watch a couple more episodes before making a final decision, but as of right now I wouldn't mark it down as appointment television. My bigger issue is that I felt like there wasn't much suspense to the show because there had been so many promos with so many different scenes from the premiere episode. As a result, if you have seen more than seven of the commercials you have pretty much seen the entire first episode. That's what will happen when you start showing promos for a show eight months in advance of it's premiere (that's why seeing a promo for Sons of Anarchy, which won't start new episodes until next fall, has me worried). Much like when movies are hyped for a year, after a while the trailers start to reveal too much.
There is nothing worse than seeing a trailer for a movie, getting really excited for it's release and then seeing "Coming Summer 2014" at the end. It drives me crazy because that just means slowly but surely the trailers will start to get longer and more details will come out, at which point I could just keep my $10 and wait for it to come out on video because there will not be any mystery left in the movie. Honestly I'd rather go into a movie almost blind to the details and just figure it out as I go. I find it's preferable to be blind sided by a movie that I thought was going to be all action actually being a chick flick, then to go into an action movie where you know during the previews that the lead actor's partner is going to turn out to be the villain. [Sidebar: Pearl Harbor was the worst for the blind-side-chick-flick phenomenon. Coincidentally, Pearl Harbor also had the greatest teaser trailer in history. I remember seeing that trailer a year before the movie came out an immediately making plans to see it opening day, completely unaware that I was walking into a movie that would see absolutely no action for the entire first hour. There were two sneak attacks that day.] I just think sometimes networks and studios are so desperate to overload us with the fact a movie is on the way that they fail to realise that curiosity is what will get us into the theatres or tuning in, not knowing the plot before our popcorn is gone.
-After a couple days to think it over, I'm actually pretty pleased that Brady Quinn was traded to the Broncos. Obviously, as he is a former Notre Dame player I want him to succeed and I feel like he has a better shot of doing that with the Broncos. They run a similiar offense to what the Irish ran under Charlie Weis and he should be pretty familiar with it. Plus, they have a much better receiving corp that what the Browns had, especially after the Browns traded away Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow. Clearly the Browns had no faith in Quinn, which is what a young quarterback needs most of all. (There is a limit, however. The Raiders continued trust in JaMarcus Russell is severely misplaced.) Plus, it's not like Kyle Orton has ever put together back-to-back great years, so Quinn could see some playing time. And as the final factor as to why I like this deal, now I can go back to rooting against Eric Mangini because rooting for Quinn to do well but Mangini to fail was getting hard to pull off.
There is nothing worse than seeing a trailer for a movie, getting really excited for it's release and then seeing "Coming Summer 2014" at the end. It drives me crazy because that just means slowly but surely the trailers will start to get longer and more details will come out, at which point I could just keep my $10 and wait for it to come out on video because there will not be any mystery left in the movie. Honestly I'd rather go into a movie almost blind to the details and just figure it out as I go. I find it's preferable to be blind sided by a movie that I thought was going to be all action actually being a chick flick, then to go into an action movie where you know during the previews that the lead actor's partner is going to turn out to be the villain. [Sidebar: Pearl Harbor was the worst for the blind-side-chick-flick phenomenon. Coincidentally, Pearl Harbor also had the greatest teaser trailer in history. I remember seeing that trailer a year before the movie came out an immediately making plans to see it opening day, completely unaware that I was walking into a movie that would see absolutely no action for the entire first hour. There were two sneak attacks that day.] I just think sometimes networks and studios are so desperate to overload us with the fact a movie is on the way that they fail to realise that curiosity is what will get us into the theatres or tuning in, not knowing the plot before our popcorn is gone.
-After a couple days to think it over, I'm actually pretty pleased that Brady Quinn was traded to the Broncos. Obviously, as he is a former Notre Dame player I want him to succeed and I feel like he has a better shot of doing that with the Broncos. They run a similiar offense to what the Irish ran under Charlie Weis and he should be pretty familiar with it. Plus, they have a much better receiving corp that what the Browns had, especially after the Browns traded away Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow. Clearly the Browns had no faith in Quinn, which is what a young quarterback needs most of all. (There is a limit, however. The Raiders continued trust in JaMarcus Russell is severely misplaced.) Plus, it's not like Kyle Orton has ever put together back-to-back great years, so Quinn could see some playing time. And as the final factor as to why I like this deal, now I can go back to rooting against Eric Mangini because rooting for Quinn to do well but Mangini to fail was getting hard to pull off.
Friday, March 19, 2010
This Is Why There Is An Age Limit
This morning news broke that Jeremy Tyler, an 18 year-old American playing professional basketball in Israel, has quit his team in mid-season. Tyler made headlines last year by foregoing his final year of high school to sign professionally overseas because he didn't want to go to college and the NBA has an age limit that permits anyone under the age of 19 from declaring for the NBA draft. He figured rather than finishing high school he could make some money for a couple years and signed in Israel, which has one of the better International leagues. Brandon Jennings, now of the Milwaukee Bucks, did almost the same thing a year earlier, though he at least finished high school before heading over for a year of professional basketball in Italy.
Jennings had trouble adjusting to the European style of play and couldn't get any playing time. However, he still had enough raw talent that he was selected high in the first round of the NBA draft (though, not as high as he probably would have been if he had played a year in the NCAAs with scouts being able to watch him all the time - no way he slips to #9 if NBA GMs got a do-over on the draft tomorrow.) Also, Jennings, to his credit, said the time in Europe taught him a valuable lesson about money, living on his own and being able to play basketball for a living. So while the on-court experience was a wash, the off-court time was used as a learning tool. [Sidebar: This is where I would point out that he would also learn these kinds of lessons in college.]
In Tyler's case it also hadn't been going well, as he also couldn't get consistent playing time because, as it turns out, being 6'10" and dunking on other high school kids doesn't necessarily make you a professional basketball player. But instead of sucking it up and using his time abroad to learn about being a professional he decided to sulk and ultimately walked away from his team at halftime of one game as a way of protesting his lack of playing time (as if that would ever, ever have worked). See, this is why I think having an NBA age limit is a fantastic thing. Playing in the NBA is a privilege, not a right. Everyone wants to talk about how unfair it is that these kids can't immediately go from high school to the NBA anymore, but it helps no one for a kid who isn't ready to be a professional to sit on the end of a bench for 3 years and never see the court. Yeah, he'll make good money for one contract, but what happens when he's out of the league at 21 because he's averaging 1.4 points a game? Is his rookie contract expected to last him for the rest of his life? For every LeBron James there is a Leon Smith, which no one seems to remember.
Clearly this kid has maturity issues, but what would you expect from a 17 year-old? However, I highly doubt his maturity issues would have been cleared up if he had been allowed to go straight to the NBA, had millions of dollars at his disposal, still only managed 2 points a game and now had the increased pressure of being labelled an NBA draft bust weighing down on him. Instead of watching March Madness and dreaming of taking a program to the Final Four he's going to have to spend another year abroad because he has given up his amateur status in an effort to make some quick money. Here's hoping his next team continues to show him some tough love, only next season he handles it a little bit better.
Jennings had trouble adjusting to the European style of play and couldn't get any playing time. However, he still had enough raw talent that he was selected high in the first round of the NBA draft (though, not as high as he probably would have been if he had played a year in the NCAAs with scouts being able to watch him all the time - no way he slips to #9 if NBA GMs got a do-over on the draft tomorrow.) Also, Jennings, to his credit, said the time in Europe taught him a valuable lesson about money, living on his own and being able to play basketball for a living. So while the on-court experience was a wash, the off-court time was used as a learning tool. [Sidebar: This is where I would point out that he would also learn these kinds of lessons in college.]
In Tyler's case it also hadn't been going well, as he also couldn't get consistent playing time because, as it turns out, being 6'10" and dunking on other high school kids doesn't necessarily make you a professional basketball player. But instead of sucking it up and using his time abroad to learn about being a professional he decided to sulk and ultimately walked away from his team at halftime of one game as a way of protesting his lack of playing time (as if that would ever, ever have worked). See, this is why I think having an NBA age limit is a fantastic thing. Playing in the NBA is a privilege, not a right. Everyone wants to talk about how unfair it is that these kids can't immediately go from high school to the NBA anymore, but it helps no one for a kid who isn't ready to be a professional to sit on the end of a bench for 3 years and never see the court. Yeah, he'll make good money for one contract, but what happens when he's out of the league at 21 because he's averaging 1.4 points a game? Is his rookie contract expected to last him for the rest of his life? For every LeBron James there is a Leon Smith, which no one seems to remember.
Clearly this kid has maturity issues, but what would you expect from a 17 year-old? However, I highly doubt his maturity issues would have been cleared up if he had been allowed to go straight to the NBA, had millions of dollars at his disposal, still only managed 2 points a game and now had the increased pressure of being labelled an NBA draft bust weighing down on him. Instead of watching March Madness and dreaming of taking a program to the Final Four he's going to have to spend another year abroad because he has given up his amateur status in an effort to make some quick money. Here's hoping his next team continues to show him some tough love, only next season he handles it a little bit better.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Everybody Gets A Tee-Shirt
I can never bring myself to throw away tee-shirts. As long as there are sleeves, a collar, a lack of stains and I wouldn't be ashamed to been seen wearing it in public, then I just can't get over the mental hump that will lead me to donating it to someone. This is especially tough for me when it comes to shirts that are either championship shirts for local sports teams (I wore my Celtics' 2005 Atlantic Division Championship tee-shirt with pride) or shirts that I consider to be 'lucky', of which I have several. (You know, for a guy with a lot of 'lucky' articles of clothing I don't have that much actual luck.) Then there are the sentimental shirts from either clubs I used to be in at school, teams I used to be on or places I used to work. The point is, they really start to pile up after a while but I still just can't give them away.
The other factor is the "maybe" part of my brain. Maybe I'll lose 5 pounds and that shirt won't be so tight. Maybe I'll need a shirt I can wear when I have some painting to do. Maybe there will be a radio contest for "oldest shirt in your drawer" with a kick-ass prize I can win. It's just the little voice in the back of my head that will not allow me to donate shirts, even as I have to move them around when I run out of drawer space. What's ironic is that I have a rotation of only about 20 tee-shirts that I'll actually wear and the rest never see the light of day - they just sit on a shelf in my closet, taking up space. Well, not anymore.
My dad went through his closet recently to began to whittle out some room and ended up finding a lot of clothes to donate. I was inspired and when I heard the local Veteran's Association was going to be coming through soon I figured I would hop on the bandwagon and finally give these shirts to someone who might actually wear them. Now, I highly recommend that before you do any spring cleaning you watch a single episode of Hoarders, because it really cuts down on the decision-making time. Without much thought, consternation or hesitation I started plowing through the piles and ended up with 51 tee-shirts to donate. And yeah, I still kept a few old Super Bowl 36 tee-shirts and my St. Catherine's intramural basketball shirt that wouldn't fit my thigh at this point, but I made a huge dent, opened up some valuable space in my closet and it just looks a lot cleaner. Plus, when was I ever going to wear a shirt from The Gap again? Now, if only I could ever bring myself to think about donating old jerseys...
The other factor is the "maybe" part of my brain. Maybe I'll lose 5 pounds and that shirt won't be so tight. Maybe I'll need a shirt I can wear when I have some painting to do. Maybe there will be a radio contest for "oldest shirt in your drawer" with a kick-ass prize I can win. It's just the little voice in the back of my head that will not allow me to donate shirts, even as I have to move them around when I run out of drawer space. What's ironic is that I have a rotation of only about 20 tee-shirts that I'll actually wear and the rest never see the light of day - they just sit on a shelf in my closet, taking up space. Well, not anymore.
My dad went through his closet recently to began to whittle out some room and ended up finding a lot of clothes to donate. I was inspired and when I heard the local Veteran's Association was going to be coming through soon I figured I would hop on the bandwagon and finally give these shirts to someone who might actually wear them. Now, I highly recommend that before you do any spring cleaning you watch a single episode of Hoarders, because it really cuts down on the decision-making time. Without much thought, consternation or hesitation I started plowing through the piles and ended up with 51 tee-shirts to donate. And yeah, I still kept a few old Super Bowl 36 tee-shirts and my St. Catherine's intramural basketball shirt that wouldn't fit my thigh at this point, but I made a huge dent, opened up some valuable space in my closet and it just looks a lot cleaner. Plus, when was I ever going to wear a shirt from The Gap again? Now, if only I could ever bring myself to think about donating old jerseys...
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
St. Patrick's Day Playlist
Following The Wedding Strikes Back, we convened at Mr. Dooley's in Boston, where there was a very nice, small Irishman singing songs and playing guitar in the corner. So, I'm standing there, drinking my Guinness and singing along when one of the people who had made the trek with me asked me how I knew the lyrics to all these songs. I believe my reaction was something along the lines of, "How come you don't?" Sometimes I forget that not everyone was raised with this music. Anyways, here are some songs to get you through your St. Patrick's Day. I was sadly limited by Playlist's selection or else this would have been a lot longer.
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-Fun fact: if you drink enough green beer, you pee green. Don't be alarmed, it's only because of the food coloring. I only wish someone had told me that prior to St. Patrick's Day 2001.
-Fun fact: if you drink enough green beer, you pee green. Don't be alarmed, it's only because of the food coloring. I only wish someone had told me that prior to St. Patrick's Day 2001.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Not Sure When It Starts Or Ends
What ever happened to the idea of a set TV season? Remember when we were growing up? New shows and episodes premiered in the fall, ran through May with very few nights of repeats and then the season ended just as you were getting out of school and the repeats were confined to the summer. It was a nice system to get out and enjoy the weather with the peace of mind that you weren't going to miss anything which would leave you out of the water cooler discussion the next day. Now shows begin and end pretty much whenever they want and with no rhyme or reason. Also, seasons can consist of twenty episodes or they can be six 15-minute "mini-sodes" that will have to tide you over until the show actually begins in mid-October.
This is especially prevalent on cable networks. The season premiere of South Park is tomorrow night, while FX's new show Justified begins tonight. Apparently, a random Tuesday in March is a fine time to launch new shows. USA network, which has started to produce a lot of it's own programming, appears to just want to put shows out in five-show bursts then declare that the "winter season." You'll then get 6 more in June for the "summer season" and a special two episode storyline randomly in October which will be a "special event." No idea if that would start season two or wrap-up season one. [Sidebar: Here's a quick review of almost every show they put out, "Not bad if there is nothing else on." None of them are great to watch one at a time, but seem better when they do a mini-marathon on a rainy Sunday.]
Oh, and forget the idea of an extended run of new episodes. I used to really enjoy the show Bones, but after a while I just had to give up. The season started in September, was interrupted after a week for the baseball playoffs, came back for two episodes, gone for the holidays, back for three episodes and has since been preempted or in re-runs the last two months because of either the Olympics or Fox's feeling that we need 18 hours of American Idol a week. The schedule was driving me crazy and I just couldn't take it anymore. At this point I plan to give up even looking for new episodes and just buying the complete season when it comes out on DVD.
That is where I think we'll eventually head. Either we'll get to the point that you can just buy a show's complete season immediately or they'll start to offer alternate channels that you can flip over to and watch the thing you initially wanted when your program is preempted by something you can't stand. We've enter an on-Demand world and TV shows are going to have to catch up or be passed by something which offers the viewer more control. In the mean time I'll have to remember to set my DVR to record the season finale of that show that premiered last week.
This is especially prevalent on cable networks. The season premiere of South Park is tomorrow night, while FX's new show Justified begins tonight. Apparently, a random Tuesday in March is a fine time to launch new shows. USA network, which has started to produce a lot of it's own programming, appears to just want to put shows out in five-show bursts then declare that the "winter season." You'll then get 6 more in June for the "summer season" and a special two episode storyline randomly in October which will be a "special event." No idea if that would start season two or wrap-up season one. [Sidebar: Here's a quick review of almost every show they put out, "Not bad if there is nothing else on." None of them are great to watch one at a time, but seem better when they do a mini-marathon on a rainy Sunday.]
Oh, and forget the idea of an extended run of new episodes. I used to really enjoy the show Bones, but after a while I just had to give up. The season started in September, was interrupted after a week for the baseball playoffs, came back for two episodes, gone for the holidays, back for three episodes and has since been preempted or in re-runs the last two months because of either the Olympics or Fox's feeling that we need 18 hours of American Idol a week. The schedule was driving me crazy and I just couldn't take it anymore. At this point I plan to give up even looking for new episodes and just buying the complete season when it comes out on DVD.
That is where I think we'll eventually head. Either we'll get to the point that you can just buy a show's complete season immediately or they'll start to offer alternate channels that you can flip over to and watch the thing you initially wanted when your program is preempted by something you can't stand. We've enter an on-Demand world and TV shows are going to have to catch up or be passed by something which offers the viewer more control. In the mean time I'll have to remember to set my DVR to record the season finale of that show that premiered last week.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Some Bracket Advice
Thursday and Friday of this week, which have the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament, are two of my favorite days of the year. Basketball starts at noon and goes late into the night almost without stopping. It's great if you are a college basketball fan and terrible if you own a business that wants to get any work done. In a study that I just made up, it was estimated that 80 million brackets are going to be filled out before the games tip off Thursday afternoon and a third of those will be done by people that have not watched a minute of the college basketball this year. With those people in mind, here are some things to think about when filling out your brackets in the next couple of days. (You should only do one, by the way. I hate people who have 8 brackets and 6 different champions. Grow a spine, make a decision and stick to it.)
-Don't second guess. Once you have filled out your brackets, turn off ESPN for the next 3 days. They are just going to have 'expert' after 'expert' on there telling you why their picks are better than yours and causing you to go back and forth before talking yourself into Butler making a Final Four run. Just go with your first instincts. I'd rather be wrong on my own then have my bracket destroyed because Jay Bilas talked me out having so many Big East teams.
-When in doubt, go with conference strength. Just remember that a difficult conference schedule can go a long way in building a team for the postseason. Think about this: Georgetown, which is a Top-25 team and a three-seed in their NCAA bracket, was the eighth seed in the Big East tournament. That was a stacked conference. Once those guys get away from each other, they could start wreaking havoc on the rest of the field. So, if you're hesitating about a team one way or another fall back to their conference. I feel like this year it breaks down as follows: Pac-10 < Atlantic 10 < SEC < ACC < Big 10 < Big 12 < Big East. Probably why four of my Elite Eight are Big East teams. And everyone can talk about the easy draw Duke got, but I won't be shocked if they don't survive the opening weekend.
-Don't worry about the last week. People always seem to freak out about conference tournament upsets. Well, these teams are playing for at least a second (if not a third) time and they saw each other last year as well. Coaches on both sides get paid to learn things from past games, so I would hope they would play better. I'm not worried just because Villanova went out earlier than expected.
-Respect the seniors. Nothing motivates players like knowing this is their last shot. In a year in which there are no great teams it always happens that a senior-laden mid-major school pulls some upsets and makes it deeper than expected. My pick this year? Siena. As a corollary, watch out for the team with the one-and-done Super Freshman. Not only do they not really know how to close out games yet, but they don't actually care how they do because they have no school pride - they just don't want to get hurt and screw up their draft status.
-Beware the "Bracket of Death." Every year there is one bracket that is stupidly loaded while others are easy. This year the super-loaded bracket is the Midwest. Let's look at the top 6 seeds, shall we?
1. Kansas - #1 overall team in the land.
2. Ohio State - Features the best player in the tournament, could have been a higher seed if he wasn't hurt mid-year.
3. Georgetown - Hardest schedule in the nation in the hardest conference. They have the experience to run with anyone.
4. Maryland - Hottest team in the ACC, great shooters.
5. Michigan State - Started the year as a top-ranked team before they were wiped out with injuries. Tournament Finalists last year, very-well coached.
6. Tennessee - Owns wins this year over Kentucky and Kansas, both ranked #1 at the time.
That is a hell of a group. I think Kansas is the best team this year, but they could lose to any of those other high seeds. Even if they do survive the bracket they're going to be a lot more worn-down than any of the other Final Four teams.
-When it doesn't matter, pick the upset. The league I am in gives out more points if you correctly pick a lower seed winning a game. If neither team in a particular match up could win the next round then you should pick the upset. If you are right you look like a genius and if you are wrong you haven't destroyed your bracket.
-Forget everything else, flip a coin. As it turns out, no one knows much about who is actually going to win. Flipping a coin is as accurate as agonizing over every decision.
*On a completely unrelated note, "boo" to CBS for replacing Luther Vandross's version of "One Shining Moment" with a rendition done by Jennifer Hudson. Is nothing sacred to you people?
-Don't second guess. Once you have filled out your brackets, turn off ESPN for the next 3 days. They are just going to have 'expert' after 'expert' on there telling you why their picks are better than yours and causing you to go back and forth before talking yourself into Butler making a Final Four run. Just go with your first instincts. I'd rather be wrong on my own then have my bracket destroyed because Jay Bilas talked me out having so many Big East teams.
-When in doubt, go with conference strength. Just remember that a difficult conference schedule can go a long way in building a team for the postseason. Think about this: Georgetown, which is a Top-25 team and a three-seed in their NCAA bracket, was the eighth seed in the Big East tournament. That was a stacked conference. Once those guys get away from each other, they could start wreaking havoc on the rest of the field. So, if you're hesitating about a team one way or another fall back to their conference. I feel like this year it breaks down as follows: Pac-10 < Atlantic 10 < SEC < ACC < Big 10 < Big 12 < Big East. Probably why four of my Elite Eight are Big East teams. And everyone can talk about the easy draw Duke got, but I won't be shocked if they don't survive the opening weekend.
-Don't worry about the last week. People always seem to freak out about conference tournament upsets. Well, these teams are playing for at least a second (if not a third) time and they saw each other last year as well. Coaches on both sides get paid to learn things from past games, so I would hope they would play better. I'm not worried just because Villanova went out earlier than expected.
-Respect the seniors. Nothing motivates players like knowing this is their last shot. In a year in which there are no great teams it always happens that a senior-laden mid-major school pulls some upsets and makes it deeper than expected. My pick this year? Siena. As a corollary, watch out for the team with the one-and-done Super Freshman. Not only do they not really know how to close out games yet, but they don't actually care how they do because they have no school pride - they just don't want to get hurt and screw up their draft status.
-Beware the "Bracket of Death." Every year there is one bracket that is stupidly loaded while others are easy. This year the super-loaded bracket is the Midwest. Let's look at the top 6 seeds, shall we?
1. Kansas - #1 overall team in the land.
2. Ohio State - Features the best player in the tournament, could have been a higher seed if he wasn't hurt mid-year.
3. Georgetown - Hardest schedule in the nation in the hardest conference. They have the experience to run with anyone.
4. Maryland - Hottest team in the ACC, great shooters.
5. Michigan State - Started the year as a top-ranked team before they were wiped out with injuries. Tournament Finalists last year, very-well coached.
6. Tennessee - Owns wins this year over Kentucky and Kansas, both ranked #1 at the time.
That is a hell of a group. I think Kansas is the best team this year, but they could lose to any of those other high seeds. Even if they do survive the bracket they're going to be a lot more worn-down than any of the other Final Four teams.
-When it doesn't matter, pick the upset. The league I am in gives out more points if you correctly pick a lower seed winning a game. If neither team in a particular match up could win the next round then you should pick the upset. If you are right you look like a genius and if you are wrong you haven't destroyed your bracket.
-Forget everything else, flip a coin. As it turns out, no one knows much about who is actually going to win. Flipping a coin is as accurate as agonizing over every decision.
*On a completely unrelated note, "boo" to CBS for replacing Luther Vandross's version of "One Shining Moment" with a rendition done by Jennifer Hudson. Is nothing sacred to you people?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
You Know People Can Hear You, Right?
As a way to raise some more money for Haiti relief, someone thought it would be a great idea to have some exhibition matches featuring some legends of tennis. One of those matches was Rafael Nadal and Andre Agassi taking on Roger Federer and Pete Sampras. Now, that in and of itself is a great idea. They probably raised a great deal of money because even I, as someone who cares nothing about tennis, would have been interested to see it if I had heard about it in advance. The bad idea happened when they thought it was a good idea to mike the players up. Then it got kind of testy as the good-natured ribbing got a little more personal.
You see, people should really only talk crap to each other when everyone are friends and we all know it's just in fun. Oh, and also when a few thousand people won't hear it when the jokes cross the line over from being funny to be being kind of dickish. Maybe a charity exhibition match isn't the place you should be letting years of animosity spill out (especially with tennis players - those guys are more sensitive than French poodles). I will give Sampras loads of credit for not making a crystal meth reference, which is absolutely what I would have done if Agassi essentially called me cheap in front of a stadium of people. Even if the tournament raised a lot of money and everyone wants to do it again, I think next time they will skip the microphones.
-This was the best line of the week: "Mississippi State will win the 2010 SEC Tournament. Either today, or in three years when Kentucky is forced to void it." It's funny because it's true.
-Happy Birthday to my sister, Amy!
You see, people should really only talk crap to each other when everyone are friends and we all know it's just in fun. Oh, and also when a few thousand people won't hear it when the jokes cross the line over from being funny to be being kind of dickish. Maybe a charity exhibition match isn't the place you should be letting years of animosity spill out (especially with tennis players - those guys are more sensitive than French poodles). I will give Sampras loads of credit for not making a crystal meth reference, which is absolutely what I would have done if Agassi essentially called me cheap in front of a stadium of people. Even if the tournament raised a lot of money and everyone wants to do it again, I think next time they will skip the microphones.
-This was the best line of the week: "Mississippi State will win the 2010 SEC Tournament. Either today, or in three years when Kentucky is forced to void it." It's funny because it's true.
-Happy Birthday to my sister, Amy!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
One Half-Truth And Six Lies
As I have nothing much to say today, I yoinked this from It Be Liz. I am to write one half-truth and six lies about myself to see if you can guess which is the half truth.
1. I'm over halfway to my Doctorate in Behavioral Science.
2. Kobe Bryant is my favorite basketball player.
3. There is nothing I like more in the world than hearing about your cat.
4. I think Sarah Palin would make a great President.
5. I have no problem letting go of grudges. Forgive and forget, I say!
6. Once while sledding I got stuck under a car, but freed myself before anyone noticed.
7. I find watching my nieces fills me with a burst of energy.
1. I'm over halfway to my Doctorate in Behavioral Science.
2. Kobe Bryant is my favorite basketball player.
3. There is nothing I like more in the world than hearing about your cat.
4. I think Sarah Palin would make a great President.
5. I have no problem letting go of grudges. Forgive and forget, I say!
6. Once while sledding I got stuck under a car, but freed myself before anyone noticed.
7. I find watching my nieces fills me with a burst of energy.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Some Sports Thoughts...
None of these are long enough to warrant their own post, yet too long for Twitter. Plus, it's Friday and I worry what the upcoming time change will do to me, so I need to start dealing with it now. Good God, people, we're jumping an hour into the future!
-I find it strange that Tiger Woods would hire former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer to work with him on his return strategy. Never mind Fleischer's political career, cause that's a different arena. But, the two sports clients he has had since entering the private sector as a PR man have been Mark McGwire, who's attempt to address his steroid accusations has been labelled somewhere between 'clumsy' and 'inadequate' and the BCS system, which everyone hates every year. Not what I would call a track record of success.
-As for Woods' comeback plan, I hope he plays sometime before the Masters and I don't care if it's at Bay Hill or the Tavistock Cup. The best way for Woods to get people to focus on golf and put the rest of his stuff on the backburner is to play well his first time out and he's not going to play well if the first event back is at Augusta National. If he goes out and fires off a round of 73 or worse, then everyone will have nothing golf-related to fill the hour with. But, if he goes off with a 63 then everyone will talk about a brilliant round with so many distractions. Then it's "Oh, Tiger Woods is so mentally tough," and "Isn't that a performance for the ages?"
-On a scale of 1 - 10, 1 being tame and 10 being vile, the video of Mike Leach "yelling" at his players should rank around a -11. It may be the most understated video of a football coach trying to motivate a team I have ever seen. I had a track coach in high school who would get more fired up than Leach was in that video. I'm actually shocked he got fired for off the field issues and not because his team just wasn't very well coached.
-Make no mistake about, the Notre Dame basketball team isn't better without Luke Harangody. It's simply an issue of leadership. The 3rd and 4th best players on the team (Abromaitis and Hansbrough) were transfer players and never played last season and Scott was on the verge of leaving the program. As a result, they probably were never vocal about getting the ball and deferred too much to Harangody when he was on the floor. When he got hurt they had to step up and play much better, which they did. It's not they they play better because Harangody was no longer there, it's because they no longer had him to lean on and everyone had to pull their own weight. I'm really impressed with the run they have been on lately. Not only have they played their way into the NCAAs, but they may even make it out of the first round this year.
-The Raiders are considered the frontrunners to land Terrell Owens. Apparently, their new strategy is to just make JaMarcus Russell quit and therefore not have to pay him the rest of his deal. Though, I guess on some level, Owens on the Raiders just makes sense. It is, after all, the land of misfit toys out there.
-I find it strange that Tiger Woods would hire former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer to work with him on his return strategy. Never mind Fleischer's political career, cause that's a different arena. But, the two sports clients he has had since entering the private sector as a PR man have been Mark McGwire, who's attempt to address his steroid accusations has been labelled somewhere between 'clumsy' and 'inadequate' and the BCS system, which everyone hates every year. Not what I would call a track record of success.
-As for Woods' comeback plan, I hope he plays sometime before the Masters and I don't care if it's at Bay Hill or the Tavistock Cup. The best way for Woods to get people to focus on golf and put the rest of his stuff on the backburner is to play well his first time out and he's not going to play well if the first event back is at Augusta National. If he goes out and fires off a round of 73 or worse, then everyone will have nothing golf-related to fill the hour with. But, if he goes off with a 63 then everyone will talk about a brilliant round with so many distractions. Then it's "Oh, Tiger Woods is so mentally tough," and "Isn't that a performance for the ages?"
-On a scale of 1 - 10, 1 being tame and 10 being vile, the video of Mike Leach "yelling" at his players should rank around a -11. It may be the most understated video of a football coach trying to motivate a team I have ever seen. I had a track coach in high school who would get more fired up than Leach was in that video. I'm actually shocked he got fired for off the field issues and not because his team just wasn't very well coached.
-Make no mistake about, the Notre Dame basketball team isn't better without Luke Harangody. It's simply an issue of leadership. The 3rd and 4th best players on the team (Abromaitis and Hansbrough) were transfer players and never played last season and Scott was on the verge of leaving the program. As a result, they probably were never vocal about getting the ball and deferred too much to Harangody when he was on the floor. When he got hurt they had to step up and play much better, which they did. It's not they they play better because Harangody was no longer there, it's because they no longer had him to lean on and everyone had to pull their own weight. I'm really impressed with the run they have been on lately. Not only have they played their way into the NCAAs, but they may even make it out of the first round this year.
-The Raiders are considered the frontrunners to land Terrell Owens. Apparently, their new strategy is to just make JaMarcus Russell quit and therefore not have to pay him the rest of his deal. Though, I guess on some level, Owens on the Raiders just makes sense. It is, after all, the land of misfit toys out there.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I Don't Need To Know About Your System
You may remember a couple months ago I mentioned that when you are in a store and the person behind the register asks how your day is, the polite response is just to say 'fine' and get along with your business, because that person doesn't actually care how your day is going. Don't bog them down with inane details about your life - they just want to work their shift and go home. Well, today reminded me that this exchange actually goes both ways -customers just want the polite response as well. I'll explain further:
The other day I was trying to get gas at a local station using a gift card that I got a month ago. I swiped the card and got an error message. I swiped it again and it said that I had no money on the gift card. I went home, checked the balance on the card and it turns out that there was, in fact, money on the card and it was available to be used. Since I had only thrown $5 worth of gas in the other day because that was all I had on me at the time, I still needed to fill up my truck and went back this afternoon. I tried swiping the card and was greeted with the same message, so I approached the booth to ask the attendant what I may be doing wrong. We then had the following exchange:
Me: Excuse me, I have this card...
Women in booth: (heavy sigh) Uh... yeah, the system is down. [Editor's note: her tone was very heavy with annoyance, like I should have already known the system was down. I don't remember getting a memo this morning.]
Me: Oh, well, should I come back this afternoon? Will the system be back up then?
Women in booth: Don't know. This system is always going down. You know, I told them that when they had a meeting last week. You would think they would want a computer system that works well, but apparently they don't. Then again, we have to pay a fee whenever there is a credit card transaction, so they really want customers paying cash. The other day....
It was at this point I stopped paying attention. Partly because I had gotten the piece of information I needed, but mostly because the inner working of this gas station mean very little in my day-to-day life. That's because, as it turns out, I don't actually work there and therefore don't care about their computers. She could have been telling me the meaning of life for all I knew, but by this time it was just going in one ear and immediately out the other. Instead I just stood there, thinking about where the next gas station was and waiting for sound to stop coming from the booth so I could nod, say 'Thank you' and leave. Oh, and my truck still needs gas.
The other day I was trying to get gas at a local station using a gift card that I got a month ago. I swiped the card and got an error message. I swiped it again and it said that I had no money on the gift card. I went home, checked the balance on the card and it turns out that there was, in fact, money on the card and it was available to be used. Since I had only thrown $5 worth of gas in the other day because that was all I had on me at the time, I still needed to fill up my truck and went back this afternoon. I tried swiping the card and was greeted with the same message, so I approached the booth to ask the attendant what I may be doing wrong. We then had the following exchange:
Me: Excuse me, I have this card...
Women in booth: (heavy sigh) Uh... yeah, the system is down. [Editor's note: her tone was very heavy with annoyance, like I should have already known the system was down. I don't remember getting a memo this morning.]
Me: Oh, well, should I come back this afternoon? Will the system be back up then?
Women in booth: Don't know. This system is always going down. You know, I told them that when they had a meeting last week. You would think they would want a computer system that works well, but apparently they don't. Then again, we have to pay a fee whenever there is a credit card transaction, so they really want customers paying cash. The other day....
It was at this point I stopped paying attention. Partly because I had gotten the piece of information I needed, but mostly because the inner working of this gas station mean very little in my day-to-day life. That's because, as it turns out, I don't actually work there and therefore don't care about their computers. She could have been telling me the meaning of life for all I knew, but by this time it was just going in one ear and immediately out the other. Instead I just stood there, thinking about where the next gas station was and waiting for sound to stop coming from the booth so I could nod, say 'Thank you' and leave. Oh, and my truck still needs gas.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Nomah!
It was announced earlier today that Nomar Garciaparra will sign a one-day, minor league contract with the Red Sox this afternoon and then immediately retire so he can go out as a Red Sox (we'll get to that detail in a second). With Nomar announcing his retirement it seems like a good time to reflect on the career of the man whose career I probably saw a higher percentage of than any other player in Red Sox history [Editor's note: Admittedly, it is still a pretty low number. When Paul Pierce retires you will need a snack and a bathroom break to make it through the 50,000 words I will have written].
Nomar was arguably the second biggest star of the Red Sox at the time I started following baseball more seriously. He was decidedly behind Mo Vaughn, but when Mo left for the Mets, Nomar had the stage all to himself and he ran with it to be just as popular among non-baseball-loving Bostonians as he was with the die-hards. I remember my sister was working at Wellesley at the time and one of her students wanted to buy the now-infamous shirtless SI cover off of me for twice the normal price because she couldn't find one in the stores. Still, right up until his 2001 wrist injury, he kept up the performance on the field. If he was a star off the field and a dud on it, he never would have lasted in Boston for as long as he did. Everybody who was a Red Sox fan and went to a batting cage between 1996-2004 did the Nomar Garciaparra pre-swing ritual of adjusting batting gloves and tapping their toes before getting ready to hit. Nomar really seemed like the perfect franchise guy - he never got into trouble off the field, he sat and talked hitting with Ted Williams, he was a home-grown talent and he seemed to care about being a Red Sox. That is why every Sox fan dug in their heels about him when the discussion of "Who is the best shortstop among Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez and Nomar Garciaparra?" came up. And, sure, it seems fairly absurd to think about that being a real debate in hindsight, but at the time it was a guaranteed way to kill 30 minutes before everyone threw up their hands and walked out without a single opinion being changed. He might not have been as good as A-Rod and Jeter, but dammit, he was our guy. I remember when Nomar came back for his first Fenway appearance almost five seasons after being traded and some ESPN talking heads being shocked, shocked, that Nomar got such a prolonged standing ovation. I remember writing that those guys were idiots. Nomar will always have a special place in Red Sox lore. So, enjoy retirement #5 - don't be a stranger around the ballpark.
-Those words aside, I have never understood the athlete tradition of signing a one-day contract just so you can retire as a member of a specific team. Does this ever come up? Has anyone ever been sitting around discussing great players and debated who they were under contract with when they retired, as if this played a part in their greatness? This has to be a relatively new thing. No one thinks less of Willy Mays just because he was a Met when he retired, nor does anyone really think of him as a Met. But a guy like Otis Smith who, while he does own the greatest Monday Night Football self-intro ever, will never be the kind of player people sit around worry about what organization he retired from, felt like he needed to sign a one-day contract just to go out as a Patriot. Really, let the fans worry about who they will remember you playing for. Nomar, no matter who he was under contract with when he retired, will never be thought of as anything but a Red Sox.
Nomar was arguably the second biggest star of the Red Sox at the time I started following baseball more seriously. He was decidedly behind Mo Vaughn, but when Mo left for the Mets, Nomar had the stage all to himself and he ran with it to be just as popular among non-baseball-loving Bostonians as he was with the die-hards. I remember my sister was working at Wellesley at the time and one of her students wanted to buy the now-infamous shirtless SI cover off of me for twice the normal price because she couldn't find one in the stores. Still, right up until his 2001 wrist injury, he kept up the performance on the field. If he was a star off the field and a dud on it, he never would have lasted in Boston for as long as he did. Everybody who was a Red Sox fan and went to a batting cage between 1996-2004 did the Nomar Garciaparra pre-swing ritual of adjusting batting gloves and tapping their toes before getting ready to hit. Nomar really seemed like the perfect franchise guy - he never got into trouble off the field, he sat and talked hitting with Ted Williams, he was a home-grown talent and he seemed to care about being a Red Sox. That is why every Sox fan dug in their heels about him when the discussion of "Who is the best shortstop among Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez and Nomar Garciaparra?" came up. And, sure, it seems fairly absurd to think about that being a real debate in hindsight, but at the time it was a guaranteed way to kill 30 minutes before everyone threw up their hands and walked out without a single opinion being changed. He might not have been as good as A-Rod and Jeter, but dammit, he was our guy. I remember when Nomar came back for his first Fenway appearance almost five seasons after being traded and some ESPN talking heads being shocked, shocked, that Nomar got such a prolonged standing ovation. I remember writing that those guys were idiots. Nomar will always have a special place in Red Sox lore. So, enjoy retirement #5 - don't be a stranger around the ballpark.
-Those words aside, I have never understood the athlete tradition of signing a one-day contract just so you can retire as a member of a specific team. Does this ever come up? Has anyone ever been sitting around discussing great players and debated who they were under contract with when they retired, as if this played a part in their greatness? This has to be a relatively new thing. No one thinks less of Willy Mays just because he was a Met when he retired, nor does anyone really think of him as a Met. But a guy like Otis Smith who, while he does own the greatest Monday Night Football self-intro ever, will never be the kind of player people sit around worry about what organization he retired from, felt like he needed to sign a one-day contract just to go out as a Patriot. Really, let the fans worry about who they will remember you playing for. Nomar, no matter who he was under contract with when he retired, will never be thought of as anything but a Red Sox.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Wow, Someone Has An Ego...
Apparently Lindsay Lohan is suing E*Trade because one of the babies in their Super Bowl ad, referred to as a 'milkaholic,' was named Lindsay. She assumes that the baby was based on her and she wants $100 million. He lawyer says that if the baby was named Oprah or Madonna they would sue, so why shouldn't Lindsay? First off, Lindsay Lohan is neither Oprah nor Madonna. I'm willing to bet no one outside of Lindsay Lohan's mind ever made the connection. Secondly, way to shoot for the moon on the monetary number. I admire your lawyer's bat-shit crazy attempt, while assuming that he would 'generously' settle for 3% of that number. Third, saying a character is based on you just because they have the same first name is really a stretch. If that were the case then I would be rolling in some sweet Thomas The Tank Engine money right about now. Lastly, I wouldn't be so quick to jump and claim credit as being the inspiration for someone who is addicted to anything. It's not really something to be proud of. Then again, this was probably just a stunt to get her name in the papers for something other than being a crazy person, so I guess I fell for it. Kudos.
-Now, for the second time in a week, I'm gonna talk about women's college basketball. I do find UConn's 71-game (and counting) winning streak to be very impressive. After all, if it was easy then everyone would be doing it. But, the fact remains that the women's game is devoid of the same amount of quality teams you will find in the men's game. I could, right now, name 12 of the teams that will make the Ladies' Sweet 16 in 2013. There is just not the same level of competition. I mean, UConn broke it's own streak, one that was just set seven years ago. Which is why I think anyone who wants to compare this winning streak with the 88-game streak the UCLA Bruins put together in the 70s needs to sit this one out, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while?
-When the experts look back on the NFL offseason and try to sum up the lack of quality free-agents due to all the five-year players not being granted unrestricted free agency as a result of the lack of a salary cap, I get the feeling Leigh Bodden's contract will be front and center for their argument. Now, I like Bodden - I thought he did a nice job for the Patriots last year. But, just one year earlier he was a free agent and there was no great fervor to sign him, which was why the Patriots got him relatively cheap. All of a sudden he's worth 4 years and $22 million, $14 of which is guaranteed? That's a high price tag for a guy who couldn't stick with the Browns and the Lions and had never had more than 6 interceptions in a season. Clearly he fits Belichick's system, but he obviously benefited from being the second best corner in a very weak market.
-Now, for the second time in a week, I'm gonna talk about women's college basketball. I do find UConn's 71-game (and counting) winning streak to be very impressive. After all, if it was easy then everyone would be doing it. But, the fact remains that the women's game is devoid of the same amount of quality teams you will find in the men's game. I could, right now, name 12 of the teams that will make the Ladies' Sweet 16 in 2013. There is just not the same level of competition. I mean, UConn broke it's own streak, one that was just set seven years ago. Which is why I think anyone who wants to compare this winning streak with the 88-game streak the UCLA Bruins put together in the 70s needs to sit this one out, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while?
-When the experts look back on the NFL offseason and try to sum up the lack of quality free-agents due to all the five-year players not being granted unrestricted free agency as a result of the lack of a salary cap, I get the feeling Leigh Bodden's contract will be front and center for their argument. Now, I like Bodden - I thought he did a nice job for the Patriots last year. But, just one year earlier he was a free agent and there was no great fervor to sign him, which was why the Patriots got him relatively cheap. All of a sudden he's worth 4 years and $22 million, $14 of which is guaranteed? That's a high price tag for a guy who couldn't stick with the Browns and the Lions and had never had more than 6 interceptions in a season. Clearly he fits Belichick's system, but he obviously benefited from being the second best corner in a very weak market.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Radio Redundancy
The other day I was talking to an old co-worker from my time in radio. Now, he's still hanging in there, trying to make it in that industry, whereas I have pretty much decided to work in other fields from here on out. But, we got to talking about why radio seems to be on a downhill slide. He blames the iPod, where people can listen to whatever they want whenever they want and specialised satellite radio stations on which people can get a specific type of music that is commercial free. Personally, I have a different theory: radio doesn't play enough different music. It seems like every music station simply has a four hour music loop that they constantly turn over and that is all you hear.
On the way into Boston the other day I paused on the local hip-hop channel and heard Young Money's catchy diddy, "Bedrock." Not my favorite song, so I moved on. Not four hours later as I was leaving the city I turn the station back on and was greeted by the exact same song, at almost the exact same point. Now, I would have given them some credit if it was at least a different remix, but it wasn't. I know these radio stations have huge libraries to work with, you mean to tell me that you can't come up with four hours worth of music? I don't care how popular a song might be on any given day, that doesn't mean you have to cave to the requests and put it on such a tight loop. You could get away with it coming on every six hours just as easily. This is why I stopped listening to radio - not enough variety.
-Since I'm in the mood to tell money-making companies what they should do differently, let's address the owners of Arizona Ice Tea. Recently I was given a case of Arizona's Arnold Palmer Ice Tea/Lemonade Mix, cause my mom is just that awesome. Now, before drinking this great concoction the can reminds you that you are supposed to shake it up thoroughly. That's fine, only it creates a foamy head that explodes when you open the can right away. In addition, if you buy the jug of Arnold Palmer mix, it is so full you can't actually stir it, because there is no room for the drink to move (I know, tough problem to have). Now, I know they tell you to shake it up because between bottling and transporting the drinks, contents can settle. Today I offer a solution to them: buy trucks with bad shocks. Sure the drivers might not be happy, but it would solve the "shake before drinking" problem. You're welcome.
On the way into Boston the other day I paused on the local hip-hop channel and heard Young Money's catchy diddy, "Bedrock." Not my favorite song, so I moved on. Not four hours later as I was leaving the city I turn the station back on and was greeted by the exact same song, at almost the exact same point. Now, I would have given them some credit if it was at least a different remix, but it wasn't. I know these radio stations have huge libraries to work with, you mean to tell me that you can't come up with four hours worth of music? I don't care how popular a song might be on any given day, that doesn't mean you have to cave to the requests and put it on such a tight loop. You could get away with it coming on every six hours just as easily. This is why I stopped listening to radio - not enough variety.
-Since I'm in the mood to tell money-making companies what they should do differently, let's address the owners of Arizona Ice Tea. Recently I was given a case of Arizona's Arnold Palmer Ice Tea/Lemonade Mix, cause my mom is just that awesome. Now, before drinking this great concoction the can reminds you that you are supposed to shake it up thoroughly. That's fine, only it creates a foamy head that explodes when you open the can right away. In addition, if you buy the jug of Arnold Palmer mix, it is so full you can't actually stir it, because there is no room for the drink to move (I know, tough problem to have). Now, I know they tell you to shake it up because between bottling and transporting the drinks, contents can settle. Today I offer a solution to them: buy trucks with bad shocks. Sure the drivers might not be happy, but it would solve the "shake before drinking" problem. You're welcome.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Breaking The 55 Barrier
Every year in Boston, the first day near 60 degrees is a major milestone. It signifies that we might have finally gotten through winter and spring is on it's way. The day is celebrated by people wearing short sleeves, shorts and tank tops - exposing some areas of the body to direct sunlight for the first time in months. It's a great day if you like pale skin. Well, yesterday was that day. I was in Boston near the Seaport World Trade Center for the annual Boston Golf Expo and was greeted by joggers who weren't dodging snow piles and people who were able to wait outside without fighting frostbite. Spring had sprung (at least for the day).
I used to work in this area, but I hadn't been around there for a few months and I have to say I am really pleased with how the area is coming along. There are several new restaurants and the area actually had some life to it (I'm still curious as to how it is when there is not a convention in town, but that's another issue for another day). One of the new bars in the area is a sports bar (you would think I would remember the name, but I don't) right next to the Seaport Bar & Grill, which was a usual hangout when I was working in the area. The Seaport was famous for it's awesome roof deck, but that looked to currently be undergoing renovations. But, the new place had a back deck on the water, which is a great way to celebrate the first warm day in Boston. And, as an added bonus, there were new St. Patrick's Day bottles. Bud Light is not usually my beer of choice, but I'm a sucker for green bottles. It was a fantastic kick-off (at least I hope it's the kick-off) of spring.
-Last night HBO aired it's new documentary, Magic & Bird: A Courtship of Rivals. I usually like the job HBO does with it's sports documentaries and this was no exception. It was very well put together and even though it's an hour and half, it moves at a very good pace. I really liked it. Now, if you want the subject covered a little more I would suggest Jackie MacMullen's book, "When the Game Was Ours." It tells the Bird/Magic story in greater detail, which I'm sure just for times sake the documentary couldn't. I guess that's a sign I'm really getting old - now I'm saying 'the book was better' about a documentary, not just a feature film.
I used to work in this area, but I hadn't been around there for a few months and I have to say I am really pleased with how the area is coming along. There are several new restaurants and the area actually had some life to it (I'm still curious as to how it is when there is not a convention in town, but that's another issue for another day). One of the new bars in the area is a sports bar (you would think I would remember the name, but I don't) right next to the Seaport Bar & Grill, which was a usual hangout when I was working in the area. The Seaport was famous for it's awesome roof deck, but that looked to currently be undergoing renovations. But, the new place had a back deck on the water, which is a great way to celebrate the first warm day in Boston. And, as an added bonus, there were new St. Patrick's Day bottles. Bud Light is not usually my beer of choice, but I'm a sucker for green bottles. It was a fantastic kick-off (at least I hope it's the kick-off) of spring.
-Last night HBO aired it's new documentary, Magic & Bird: A Courtship of Rivals. I usually like the job HBO does with it's sports documentaries and this was no exception. It was very well put together and even though it's an hour and half, it moves at a very good pace. I really liked it. Now, if you want the subject covered a little more I would suggest Jackie MacMullen's book, "When the Game Was Ours." It tells the Bird/Magic story in greater detail, which I'm sure just for times sake the documentary couldn't. I guess that's a sign I'm really getting old - now I'm saying 'the book was better' about a documentary, not just a feature film.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Movie Set Mindset
As someone who really enjoys films, but also has done some behind-the scenes video production, when I watch movies I sometimes wonder what it was like on the set while the movie was being made. Did the cast and crew know that the movie was going to be great, or did they all assume it would bomb? If they think the movie is going to bomb, do they collectively start mailing it in? Also, if the cast is made up of really weird people, does the set take on a weird vibe? The reason I was thinking about this is because the other day I was flipping around and landed on Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow. Now, never having met the man, but having seen several of his movies, I tend to think of Tim Burton as probably pretty out-there. Plus, I think Johnny Depp is out there as well, only he hides it better until he's around his equally-weird friend, Burton (which is why they work together so much). In addition, the still slightly-Gothic Christina Ricci is in this. Hell, even the Headless Horseman turns out to be the very quirky Christopher Walken. [Note: I don't feel like that revelation warrants a "Spoiler Alert" tag, because the movie came out 10 years ago. If you haven't seen it by now, you weren't going to.] Overall I just imagine it would have been a strange movie to work on.
This, of course, got me thinking. What are some other movies I would have liked to work on, just to see the vibe on set? Here are a few, in no particular order:
Swingers: Even though it was low-budget, they had to know they were in the middle of making a very good movie. Therefore, I like to think everyone was super into working on this movie for that very reason and so it would have been a great place to have been.
Saving Private Ryan: The star power and sheer scale of this set must have been mind-blowing. I mean, Ted Danson's part could have been done by a no-name actor for half the cost, but they went with a recognizable name. Working with guys like Spielberg and Hanks on a set of that magnitude must have been awesome.
CaddyShack: I wasn't originally going to put this, but then my dad was telling me he saw a documentary saying that it was really tense on the set because no one thought it was going to be a big hit and Chevy Chase and Bill Murray did not like each other while they were filming. I think it would have been really interesting to see the dynamic for the same reason you rubberneck accidents on the highway. Also, when the day of filming was done you could play a quick 9 holes. So, you got that going for you.
Ocean's 11: For a lot of the same reasons it would have been fun to work on Saving Private Ryan - just for star power and great stories this would have been a really fun to set to work on. Plus, it's Vegas.
Speed 2: I just imagine everyone was really excited to re-capture the energy from the first one... right up until Keanu Reeves was replaced by Jason Patric. Then they still have this big budget, but they know the movie is just gonna bomb. I imagine the wind being out of everyone's sails. But, hey, at least you're still in the Caribbean.
This, of course, got me thinking. What are some other movies I would have liked to work on, just to see the vibe on set? Here are a few, in no particular order:
Swingers: Even though it was low-budget, they had to know they were in the middle of making a very good movie. Therefore, I like to think everyone was super into working on this movie for that very reason and so it would have been a great place to have been.
Saving Private Ryan: The star power and sheer scale of this set must have been mind-blowing. I mean, Ted Danson's part could have been done by a no-name actor for half the cost, but they went with a recognizable name. Working with guys like Spielberg and Hanks on a set of that magnitude must have been awesome.
CaddyShack: I wasn't originally going to put this, but then my dad was telling me he saw a documentary saying that it was really tense on the set because no one thought it was going to be a big hit and Chevy Chase and Bill Murray did not like each other while they were filming. I think it would have been really interesting to see the dynamic for the same reason you rubberneck accidents on the highway. Also, when the day of filming was done you could play a quick 9 holes. So, you got that going for you.
Ocean's 11: For a lot of the same reasons it would have been fun to work on Saving Private Ryan - just for star power and great stories this would have been a really fun to set to work on. Plus, it's Vegas.
Speed 2: I just imagine everyone was really excited to re-capture the energy from the first one... right up until Keanu Reeves was replaced by Jason Patric. Then they still have this big budget, but they know the movie is just gonna bomb. I imagine the wind being out of everyone's sails. But, hey, at least you're still in the Caribbean.
Friday, March 5, 2010
There's About To Be A (What?) Girl-Fight
I've never been the kind of person who gets into much hand-wringing and fretting when there is a fight during a sporting event. The only time I feel it's a big deal is when people start using equipment as weapons or it spills into the stands. Maybe it's because I don't have kids that could be influenced by the violence taking place in front of them or maybe it's just because I don't feel the need to turn every minor scuffle into a world-changing issue (this is probably why I will never end up as an analyst on SportsCenter). I'm really not about to get lathered up when it's a basketball fight because those are the saddest fights of them all - it's just some shoving, an uncoordinated half-thrown punch and then the combatants start looking around for teammates to grab them so they can do the classic, "Let me go, I want to fight (but, please, don't actually let me go)."
Still, I feel that this Brittney Griner punch should be commented on. Unlike so many other media people who want to weigh in, I don't care that it's a girl punching another girl - hell, girls are usually more competitive than guys. The reason this irks me and makes me think Griner should be hit with a long suspension is that she sucker-punched a girl she towers over by six inches and who isn't even looking in her direction. The other girl (Jordan Barncastle) had fouled her pretty hard, but clearly thought the play was over and started to walk away when she gets popped from the side. It's a cowardly move to hit someone as they are walking away (if you haven't seen it yet, you can watch the punch video in all it's slow-motion glory here.) I just think fighting, much like hunting, is much more fair when both people know it's happening. To blindside someone, (apparently) break their nose and then start retreating is a very low-class move and suspension-worthy. Then again, this is Baylor basketball - the fact that it's not one teammate violently killing another should be seen as a marked improvement.
-Now that the NFL free-agency period has begun, I'm trying not get wrapped up in all the rumors that start flying at this point. It's all about mis-direction, mis-information and flat-out lies as everyone tries to figure out what everyone else could be doing in this un-capped year. That being said, I'm very intrigued by the Greg Olsen-to-the-Patriots rumor. I don't think he's worth a second round draft pick, but if we could get him for a conditional third-rounder I would do that in a second. It would be a nice change to have a pass-catching tight end who can go up and get the ball instead of Benjamin Watson, who you have to hit in the hands or else he drops it. He would be a great weapon for Brady and open things up on the outside for Moss. If Bill can pull it off, I'm on board.
Still, I feel that this Brittney Griner punch should be commented on. Unlike so many other media people who want to weigh in, I don't care that it's a girl punching another girl - hell, girls are usually more competitive than guys. The reason this irks me and makes me think Griner should be hit with a long suspension is that she sucker-punched a girl she towers over by six inches and who isn't even looking in her direction. The other girl (Jordan Barncastle) had fouled her pretty hard, but clearly thought the play was over and started to walk away when she gets popped from the side. It's a cowardly move to hit someone as they are walking away (if you haven't seen it yet, you can watch the punch video in all it's slow-motion glory here.) I just think fighting, much like hunting, is much more fair when both people know it's happening. To blindside someone, (apparently) break their nose and then start retreating is a very low-class move and suspension-worthy. Then again, this is Baylor basketball - the fact that it's not one teammate violently killing another should be seen as a marked improvement.
-Now that the NFL free-agency period has begun, I'm trying not get wrapped up in all the rumors that start flying at this point. It's all about mis-direction, mis-information and flat-out lies as everyone tries to figure out what everyone else could be doing in this un-capped year. That being said, I'm very intrigued by the Greg Olsen-to-the-Patriots rumor. I don't think he's worth a second round draft pick, but if we could get him for a conditional third-rounder I would do that in a second. It would be a nice change to have a pass-catching tight end who can go up and get the ball instead of Benjamin Watson, who you have to hit in the hands or else he drops it. He would be a great weapon for Brady and open things up on the outside for Moss. If Bill can pull it off, I'm on board.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Awesome, I'm An Idiot
It's always a little embarrassing when you find out that you have been doing something wrong for an extended period of time. Now, most of the time it turns out to be a minor issue and pretty amusing, like finding out you've been singing the wrong song lyrics for years. But then there are the other times, when turns out that you've been doing something very wrong and you're lucky you aren't dead as a result of your stupidity. Yesterday the latter happened for me. I had to give my brother's truck a jump-start at a nearby Dunkin Donuts. I rolled up, popped my hood and hooked up the jumper cables. I gave the other end to my brother's friend who was standing nearby and watched as he put the positive cable to the positive battery tower and clipped the negative cable onto a metal part of the truck. I was about to say something about that appearing to be wrong, when my brother turned the key and his truck roared to life.
I always though you were supposed to hook the positive and negative cables on both batteries. Turns out that only the positives should be hooked up and the negative cable for the car with the dead battery should be grounded to a metal, non-painted part of the car. The reason you do this is so the battery won't explode. Somehow the fact that this could happen never reached my ears, cause I'm pretty sure I would have remembered it. The word "explosion" is one I always pay attention to. Even if it is a very small chance of it happening, given my luck with cars it is probably not something I should be chancing. (By the way, I usually believe that people make their own luck, so I'm becoming increasingly convince that my "bad luck" with cars is a result of my own lack of knowledge of what the hell I am doing.) So, on the one hand I learned something, but on the other I'm still an idiot.
-You know who else is an idiot? Tiger Woods' caddie, Steve Williams. Williams has a pretty sweet gig; carrying the bag, telling people to shut up and providing some minor security for Woods as he walks around the course. He never looks like he is giving Woods much in the way of actual golf advice or helping him read putts - he just gives him the distances and lets Tiger do his thing. For this he gets 10% of Tiger's considerable winnings and a couple of his own sponsorship deals because Woods is on camera so much. As coattail riding jobs go, it's up there. Therefore, I found it curious that he would criticize Woods in any way, but that is what he did yesterday on an New Zealand news show, stating that if he had known about Woods' affairs he would have said something and put a stop to it. I know Woods isn't having the best of years and he needs to get as much good publicity as he can, but I highly doubt Woods wants his caddy weighing in with any criticism. Tiger is still a control freak who wouldn't want his caddy to suddenly appear to be the moral compass Tiger didn't listen to. Williams has a reputation for being rough with fans and it wouldn't take much for Tiger's people to use that as an excuse for getting him a new caddy. Williams would be wise to not rock the boat and mess up the sweet job he has.
I always though you were supposed to hook the positive and negative cables on both batteries. Turns out that only the positives should be hooked up and the negative cable for the car with the dead battery should be grounded to a metal, non-painted part of the car. The reason you do this is so the battery won't explode. Somehow the fact that this could happen never reached my ears, cause I'm pretty sure I would have remembered it. The word "explosion" is one I always pay attention to. Even if it is a very small chance of it happening, given my luck with cars it is probably not something I should be chancing. (By the way, I usually believe that people make their own luck, so I'm becoming increasingly convince that my "bad luck" with cars is a result of my own lack of knowledge of what the hell I am doing.) So, on the one hand I learned something, but on the other I'm still an idiot.
-You know who else is an idiot? Tiger Woods' caddie, Steve Williams. Williams has a pretty sweet gig; carrying the bag, telling people to shut up and providing some minor security for Woods as he walks around the course. He never looks like he is giving Woods much in the way of actual golf advice or helping him read putts - he just gives him the distances and lets Tiger do his thing. For this he gets 10% of Tiger's considerable winnings and a couple of his own sponsorship deals because Woods is on camera so much. As coattail riding jobs go, it's up there. Therefore, I found it curious that he would criticize Woods in any way, but that is what he did yesterday on an New Zealand news show, stating that if he had known about Woods' affairs he would have said something and put a stop to it. I know Woods isn't having the best of years and he needs to get as much good publicity as he can, but I highly doubt Woods wants his caddy weighing in with any criticism. Tiger is still a control freak who wouldn't want his caddy to suddenly appear to be the moral compass Tiger didn't listen to. Williams has a reputation for being rough with fans and it wouldn't take much for Tiger's people to use that as an excuse for getting him a new caddy. Williams would be wise to not rock the boat and mess up the sweet job he has.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
It's A Sweet Gig
You know what I would love to be my next job? Casting Director for Dancing With The Stars. Now, I never watch this show, but it has become one of those programs which crosses over to the mainstream enough that who is on it has become actual "news". I just think casting this show has to be really easy, because people openly campaign to be on the program. It appears you can simply sit back, let them come to you, send any undesirables away on a whim and pick and choose who will remain. Erin Andrews campaigned to be on the show and now she's in. Chad OchoCinco said he wanted to be on and, boom, he will be part of this year's cast. Then you've got your stream of reality show rejects who we all know are, by nature, attention-whores. All you have to do is ask and they'll sign up for the chance to extend their 15 minutes any way they can. Oh sure, I would assume you get the occasion "star" who is insulted that people think their career has fallen that far, but wait a year and they'll call back begging to be on national television again. It all seems very straightforward.
As for this year, I will still not be watching, but I'll pick Erin Andrews for the girls (former Florida Gator cheerleader, naturally athletic, got the whole girl-next-door thing that the rest of America will just eat up) and Evan Lysacek for the guys (his job already essentially calls for him to ballroom dance on ice, so I would imagine it'll be a pretty easy transition for him). My first as an early exit? Kate Gosselin. I think America's pretty tired of her already and she won't make any new friends with statements like, "I don't know how I'll find time to practice with 8 kids." Please, you have a small battalion of assistants. Never stopped you from being on TV before. I may call in to vote against her in principle.
-Here's my Road Rage Rant of the Day: when you are at a train crossing that double as an intersection and the guards are down, I feel it is common courtesy to leave enough room between your car and the car in front of you so that any cars coming from the side street could pass through and turn, should they want to head in the direction that is away from the railroad tracks. However, that doesn't mean you can slide through that opening without giving the courtesy wave. The opening, which means you don't have to wait for the guards to go back up, should not be taken for granted. I could very easily pull forward, not give the room and leave you stranded there. And good luck getting an opening to take a left when two lines of cars that have been waiting 10 minutes for two trains to pass through start going again. I'm doing you a favor, the least you could do is give me a 'Thank You' wave.
As for this year, I will still not be watching, but I'll pick Erin Andrews for the girls (former Florida Gator cheerleader, naturally athletic, got the whole girl-next-door thing that the rest of America will just eat up) and Evan Lysacek for the guys (his job already essentially calls for him to ballroom dance on ice, so I would imagine it'll be a pretty easy transition for him). My first as an early exit? Kate Gosselin. I think America's pretty tired of her already and she won't make any new friends with statements like, "I don't know how I'll find time to practice with 8 kids." Please, you have a small battalion of assistants. Never stopped you from being on TV before. I may call in to vote against her in principle.
-Here's my Road Rage Rant of the Day: when you are at a train crossing that double as an intersection and the guards are down, I feel it is common courtesy to leave enough room between your car and the car in front of you so that any cars coming from the side street could pass through and turn, should they want to head in the direction that is away from the railroad tracks. However, that doesn't mean you can slide through that opening without giving the courtesy wave. The opening, which means you don't have to wait for the guards to go back up, should not be taken for granted. I could very easily pull forward, not give the room and leave you stranded there. And good luck getting an opening to take a left when two lines of cars that have been waiting 10 minutes for two trains to pass through start going again. I'm doing you a favor, the least you could do is give me a 'Thank You' wave.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Some Suggestions For Michael Jordan
As a basketball fan, I root for a lot of bad NBA teams to find success. I like the Timberwolves, the Pacers, the Bobcats, the Wizards and the Kings. I want all those guy fighting for playoff spots and Championships. Obviously I want them to come in second behind the Celtics, but I would like to see better teams throughout the league, just to ensure the NBA as a whole is going strong. So, when news broke that Michael Jordan has a deal in place to buy the majority stake in the Bobcats, I was encouraged (curious to see who's money he is doing it with, but still encouraged). Jordan still has a very high profile among this core of players, enough pull to attract better free agents to Charlotte and enough stakes in the community that they should come out to support the team without fear of it moving away again. I just have a couple idea I would like Jordan to consider:
-Stop drafting players strictly because they're from UNC and Duke. Really, it was a smart business plan when this was an expansion franchise, but you've been around long enough that it just looks like you're too lazy to scout outside of North Carolina. Don't be afraid to take a better player with no ties to the area over a mediocre guy who went to school down the road.
-Two words: new uniforms. I'm not faulting Bob Johnson for naming the team after himself, cause that's probably what I would do with in that position. So, you don't need a new nickname, but the orange looks bad and the blue jerseys look too much like the Knicks. You want a jersey that people outside of the Carolinas would want to wear. Change up the colors. And don't go navy - you'll blend right in with Memphis, Atlanta and Utah, who's jerseys all look the same.
-Let basketball people make the decisions. The problem with older players is that they seem to hold onto the reps of people who were coming up when they were heading out the door. The latest rumor was that Jordan talked about going after Larry Hughes. Why? Larry wasn't that good when he had young legs. They're trending in the right direction in Charlotte, don't mess it up. Let the people who do this for a living do their thing, just popped in between golf outings a couple times a week because the most important thing Jordan can do is...
-Be around the team. We're talking about one of the greatest players ever. Like I said, he still has a lot of pull with today's players so they'll listen to him. This is a pretty young team in Charlotte with a good coach, but that Jordan seal of approval would do wonders for a young players confidence.
So, that's just a couple ideas to keep the Bobcats headed in the right direction. Now if we could only move Larry Bird out of the President's Box and into the Owner's Box we could start working on the Pacers.
-Stop drafting players strictly because they're from UNC and Duke. Really, it was a smart business plan when this was an expansion franchise, but you've been around long enough that it just looks like you're too lazy to scout outside of North Carolina. Don't be afraid to take a better player with no ties to the area over a mediocre guy who went to school down the road.
-Two words: new uniforms. I'm not faulting Bob Johnson for naming the team after himself, cause that's probably what I would do with in that position. So, you don't need a new nickname, but the orange looks bad and the blue jerseys look too much like the Knicks. You want a jersey that people outside of the Carolinas would want to wear. Change up the colors. And don't go navy - you'll blend right in with Memphis, Atlanta and Utah, who's jerseys all look the same.
-Let basketball people make the decisions. The problem with older players is that they seem to hold onto the reps of people who were coming up when they were heading out the door. The latest rumor was that Jordan talked about going after Larry Hughes. Why? Larry wasn't that good when he had young legs. They're trending in the right direction in Charlotte, don't mess it up. Let the people who do this for a living do their thing, just popped in between golf outings a couple times a week because the most important thing Jordan can do is...
-Be around the team. We're talking about one of the greatest players ever. Like I said, he still has a lot of pull with today's players so they'll listen to him. This is a pretty young team in Charlotte with a good coach, but that Jordan seal of approval would do wonders for a young players confidence.
So, that's just a couple ideas to keep the Bobcats headed in the right direction. Now if we could only move Larry Bird out of the President's Box and into the Owner's Box we could start working on the Pacers.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Closing Ceremony Ramblings
Just a few thought collected while watching the closing ceremonies of the Vancouver Winter Olympics...
-The ceremony started with the people in charge poking fun at themselves, as the malfunctioning 4th arm of the cauldron from the Opening Ceremonies finally came up from the floor. It was a nice attempt at self-deprecating humor, but did you need the mime/clown involved? Mimes ruin everything.
-One thing they still didn't fix? The lip-syncing. Everyone was still a couple seconds off, which was just enough to be noticeable.
-You know what adds a touch of class to everything? Making world-class athletes wear cheap-looking white ponchos. [Editor's Note: they took it up a notch later by making those same athletes wear fake moose antlers that had a light in them. Work your entire life, kids, and you too can be made to look like a dorky family on vacation.]
-The opening group was a Canadian band called Inward Eye. I guarantee you that at the first band rehearsal this group ever had, those guys spent the entire time coming up with that name and never practiced a single note.
-There was a guy on top of a podium who appeared to be in line to be the star of Canada's version of High School Musical. He was really rocking out on his guitar. Would have looked a little more convincing, though, if someone had bothered to plug the guitar into anything.
-The best part of the Opening Ceremonies is the parade of nations, so why do that again? Instead, lets just have all the athletes pour into the stadium at once, taking pictures, not really paying attention to where they are supposed to be going and let them eventually wander into their seats. It was just like the chaos that happens when they first open the doors to a wedding reception hall after cocktail hour.
-They gave out the medals for the men's cross country 50km race right in the middle of the ceremonies, because that is apparently the most important medal of them all. Just a thought on the medals: I know every Olympics wants their to be different from the last, but what happened to these ones? They looked like squished pennies, all bent and misshapen.
-The big part of the closing ceremonies was the presentation by Sochi, who will host the next Winter Olympics. It all began with the Russian National Anthem, which I can not hear without thinking of troops marching in Red Square. I guess I saw too many war movies in the 80s.
-That was followed by a preview of the Sochi Opening Ceremony, which, if last night is any indication, will be heavily pre-taped and feature some sweet air-conducting from a guy roughly 5,000 miles from his actual orchestra.
-Two of the big Russian stars they brought out for the Sochi presentation were Evgeni Plushenko (last seen complaining so much about coming in second that he took the unprecedented step of giving himself a platinum medal) and Alexander Ovechkin (last seen shoving a female fan to the ground). Not exactly the two guys I would have chosen as goodwill ambassadors. Also, it appear Ovechkin's jacket was two sizes too small.
-Then they brought out Neil Young, marking the 50th time I have said the phrase "I did not know he was Canadian," since the games began. He didn't appear to have a mike at all, but his voice carried throughout the arena. Strange.
-While Young was playing, the flame was extinguished. For some reason I thought it was tradition to take the flame and pass it to a representative for the next games, because the Olympic torch was never to be fully extinguished. Instead, someone below the cauldron just turned of the pilot light and that was it. Very anti-climactic.
-At this point every Canadian star who didn't get to have a part in the Opening Ceremonies showed up: William Shatner (who may have been drunk), Kathrine O'Hara (who is normally very funny, but not in this instance), Michael J. Fox (who was supposed to end on some visual gag that the folks at home never saw) and Michael Buble (who was wearing a tear-away Mountie costume... ok). No Mike Myers and no Celine Dion. I am still shocked at that.
-This was followed by what I like to call "The Parade of Canadian Stereotypes." Giant cutouts of hockey players, Mounties, moose, beavers, canoes and maple leaves. It almost made me long for the flying kid from the Opening Ceremonies.
-Now, with about 10 minutes before the television guide said the ceremony was going to end, NBC started to show us that The Marriage Ref was coming up. But, there was no way that was going to happen, because obviously the Closing Ceremonies were running long. NBC wouldn't cut away from this event, that only happens once every four years and that they paid billions for the right to show, just to shove this clearly-awful show down our throat, would they? Yep, they would. They interrupted the Closing Ceremonies of the Olympics to bring us a terrible show that makes everyone involved look bad and makes me wonder just how much fighting goes on in the Seinfeld household on a daily basis. Good call.
-I stuck around the hour to see how they would handle the rest of the closing ceremonies and suddenly realised why they were so quick to go to alternate programming - when they came back it was just a collection of terrible Canadian music.
-It started with Nickelback, who (unlike everyone else, it seems) I don't hate. They were followed by Avril Lavigne, who I loathe. She got to sing two songs from her last album, which sounds like a good idea, until you realise it came out in 2006. I think she sang the same two songs at the closing Ceremonies of the Turin Olympics, during which I am sure I said, "God, I hope she isn't still relevant enough to play the Vancouver Games." Alas, I was right, but also wrong.
-Lavigne was followed by Alanis Morisette, because at this point, why not? I imagine she must have been pissed to be third. Also, she is a terrible lip-syncer, which is surprising because I know people who saw her live and said she was terrible and should have lip-synced. You would think she would have been better at it then.
-At this point they started scraping the bottom of the Canadian musical barrel, with acts like Simple Plan (is it still 2003?), Hedley (your guess is as good as mine) and some band who's name I missed but appeared to be a French-singing Evanescence rip-off. Was Rush busy? Not that it mattered, because by now the athletes had stopped paying attention to the music and instead come out of the stands to take pictures, exchange cell-phone numbers with their International hook-up buddy and pretend they would be best buds forever. It was like a senior-year CYO dance on an epic scale. Alright, that's enough. Back to regular programming.
-The ceremony started with the people in charge poking fun at themselves, as the malfunctioning 4th arm of the cauldron from the Opening Ceremonies finally came up from the floor. It was a nice attempt at self-deprecating humor, but did you need the mime/clown involved? Mimes ruin everything.
-One thing they still didn't fix? The lip-syncing. Everyone was still a couple seconds off, which was just enough to be noticeable.
-You know what adds a touch of class to everything? Making world-class athletes wear cheap-looking white ponchos. [Editor's Note: they took it up a notch later by making those same athletes wear fake moose antlers that had a light in them. Work your entire life, kids, and you too can be made to look like a dorky family on vacation.]
-The opening group was a Canadian band called Inward Eye. I guarantee you that at the first band rehearsal this group ever had, those guys spent the entire time coming up with that name and never practiced a single note.
-There was a guy on top of a podium who appeared to be in line to be the star of Canada's version of High School Musical. He was really rocking out on his guitar. Would have looked a little more convincing, though, if someone had bothered to plug the guitar into anything.
-The best part of the Opening Ceremonies is the parade of nations, so why do that again? Instead, lets just have all the athletes pour into the stadium at once, taking pictures, not really paying attention to where they are supposed to be going and let them eventually wander into their seats. It was just like the chaos that happens when they first open the doors to a wedding reception hall after cocktail hour.
-They gave out the medals for the men's cross country 50km race right in the middle of the ceremonies, because that is apparently the most important medal of them all. Just a thought on the medals: I know every Olympics wants their to be different from the last, but what happened to these ones? They looked like squished pennies, all bent and misshapen.
-The big part of the closing ceremonies was the presentation by Sochi, who will host the next Winter Olympics. It all began with the Russian National Anthem, which I can not hear without thinking of troops marching in Red Square. I guess I saw too many war movies in the 80s.
-That was followed by a preview of the Sochi Opening Ceremony, which, if last night is any indication, will be heavily pre-taped and feature some sweet air-conducting from a guy roughly 5,000 miles from his actual orchestra.
-Two of the big Russian stars they brought out for the Sochi presentation were Evgeni Plushenko (last seen complaining so much about coming in second that he took the unprecedented step of giving himself a platinum medal) and Alexander Ovechkin (last seen shoving a female fan to the ground). Not exactly the two guys I would have chosen as goodwill ambassadors. Also, it appear Ovechkin's jacket was two sizes too small.
-Then they brought out Neil Young, marking the 50th time I have said the phrase "I did not know he was Canadian," since the games began. He didn't appear to have a mike at all, but his voice carried throughout the arena. Strange.
-While Young was playing, the flame was extinguished. For some reason I thought it was tradition to take the flame and pass it to a representative for the next games, because the Olympic torch was never to be fully extinguished. Instead, someone below the cauldron just turned of the pilot light and that was it. Very anti-climactic.
-At this point every Canadian star who didn't get to have a part in the Opening Ceremonies showed up: William Shatner (who may have been drunk), Kathrine O'Hara (who is normally very funny, but not in this instance), Michael J. Fox (who was supposed to end on some visual gag that the folks at home never saw) and Michael Buble (who was wearing a tear-away Mountie costume... ok). No Mike Myers and no Celine Dion. I am still shocked at that.
-This was followed by what I like to call "The Parade of Canadian Stereotypes." Giant cutouts of hockey players, Mounties, moose, beavers, canoes and maple leaves. It almost made me long for the flying kid from the Opening Ceremonies.
-Now, with about 10 minutes before the television guide said the ceremony was going to end, NBC started to show us that The Marriage Ref was coming up. But, there was no way that was going to happen, because obviously the Closing Ceremonies were running long. NBC wouldn't cut away from this event, that only happens once every four years and that they paid billions for the right to show, just to shove this clearly-awful show down our throat, would they? Yep, they would. They interrupted the Closing Ceremonies of the Olympics to bring us a terrible show that makes everyone involved look bad and makes me wonder just how much fighting goes on in the Seinfeld household on a daily basis. Good call.
-I stuck around the hour to see how they would handle the rest of the closing ceremonies and suddenly realised why they were so quick to go to alternate programming - when they came back it was just a collection of terrible Canadian music.
-It started with Nickelback, who (unlike everyone else, it seems) I don't hate. They were followed by Avril Lavigne, who I loathe. She got to sing two songs from her last album, which sounds like a good idea, until you realise it came out in 2006. I think she sang the same two songs at the closing Ceremonies of the Turin Olympics, during which I am sure I said, "God, I hope she isn't still relevant enough to play the Vancouver Games." Alas, I was right, but also wrong.
-Lavigne was followed by Alanis Morisette, because at this point, why not? I imagine she must have been pissed to be third. Also, she is a terrible lip-syncer, which is surprising because I know people who saw her live and said she was terrible and should have lip-synced. You would think she would have been better at it then.
-At this point they started scraping the bottom of the Canadian musical barrel, with acts like Simple Plan (is it still 2003?), Hedley (your guess is as good as mine) and some band who's name I missed but appeared to be a French-singing Evanescence rip-off. Was Rush busy? Not that it mattered, because by now the athletes had stopped paying attention to the music and instead come out of the stands to take pictures, exchange cell-phone numbers with their International hook-up buddy and pretend they would be best buds forever. It was like a senior-year CYO dance on an epic scale. Alright, that's enough. Back to regular programming.
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