Weekly Sporties

-In the least shocking news ever, this week Terrelle Pryor announced that, after careful consideration, he would not return to Ohio State for his senior season after all. I'm sure the fact that it was recently revealed he may have made as much as $40,000 last year for selling autographed memorabilia had nothing to do with it. Pryor expects to be picked in the NFL's supplemental draft, whenever that eventually happens. (Personally, I don't share his optimism.) Also, I'm trying to figure out who thought his autograph was worth that much money. I mean, I may have bought way too much Ron Mercer merchandise back in the day, but at least I was paying reasonable prices.

-So, the MLB draft happened this past week. Now, I never watch a second of this thing because 90% of these guys are never going to make it to the big leagues and those that do usually break through with a different team than the one that drafted them. However, that doesn't mean I don't love to read the recaps of the draft for a couple of different reasons. First off, it doesn't have a set number of picks. Teams can just choose names until they don't feel like it anymore. As such, you can see who has the endurance to still be picking guys in the 50th round after everybody else has given up. Secondly, because any body picked after the 30th round is pretty much a total guess, after a while General Managers just start picking names for fun. If your father ever played in the majors, chances are you got drafted for name recognition alone. Then they start taking guys who don't even play baseball anymore. Hell, I might have been drafted and not know about it yet. Hope I at least get a free hat out of it.

-Speaking of the MLB draft, last year's #1 pick, Bryce Harper, is causing a stir because after homering off a pitcher in A-ball the other day he slowed down on the third baseline and blew the guy a kiss. All the baseball purists, already known as a stuffy bunch, are flipping out at how disrespectful this seems. Wait, are you telling me a guy who skipped high school to play baseball, got drafted first overall, was made a multi-millionaire before turning 19 and is now hitting roughly .800 at the Single-A level may be a little bit cocky? I am shocked.

-Tiger Woods announced this week that due to lingering injuries he will be unable to compete in this year's US Open. While I'm sad for Tiger, in the long tun this may be the best thing for him. Just take the summer off, get totally healthy and fix your head and your swing. Going out, half-assing it and being a non-factor in most golf tournaments isn't helping anyone. I'd rather he take as much time as he needs off and doesn't come back until he can be the Tiger we all remember (or as close to it as possible). You may not like the man, but golf is better when Tiger Woods is playing well.

-While on the subject of golf, it was revealed this week that President Obama and Speaker of the House John Boehner will be teeing it up together next Saturday. I have to be honest with you, I'm not sure Obama wants to win this one. You know how when Steve Spurrier took over the Redskins they told him really good football coaches can't be really good golfers? With all the problems facing the nation right now, I'm not sure Obama wants to be seen as a guy with enough time on his hands to be a really good golfer. Maybe he should miss the occasional 3-footer on purpose.

-Last weekend following a truck race, 26 year-old Kyle Busch (last seen driving 128 mph on a country road) was sucker punched by 65 year-old car owner Richard Childress. Childress was fined $150,000 while Busch was let off without any discipline because he was not seen as the instigator. However, it should be noted that no one seemed too pissed at Childress. You know how I'm always saying that if you have issues with more than 4 people it's probably not them, it's you? Well, if you're getting sucker-punched by a man forty years older than you and everyone is on his side then it's definitely you. You are the asshole.

-After running unopposed because every other opponent was caught up in some type of bribery scandal, newly-reelected FIFA President Sepp Blatter vowed he was going to clean up the organization by forming a "Council of Wisdom" to look into it. One of the first people he asked to be on the committee? Opera singer Placido Domingo. I don't have a joke to add here, I just thought that was awesome. Seriously, I couldn't make that up. If this kind of insanity keeps up, I'm gonna have to start following soccer.