Quickies for Friday

-Now, I would never root against the Red Sox, cause that's not my style. But, when they're going against a guy with the last name Jakubauskas... well, you know I like it when the Litzskis represent. There aren't that many of us in pro sports today. This is just getting me one step closer to hearing Al Michaels actually pronounce my name correctly when I input myself into Madden. How about a nice outing for Jaku (see, we're already on a nickname basis) before the Mariners bullpen blows the game? Oh, and a homer for Junior Griffey to make me feel 12 year's old again.

- I guess Alan Keyes is all up in arms that President Obama will be speaking at Notre Dame's commencement this weekend. Good to see that Keyes, a Cornell graduate, is so concerned about what's happening in South Bend. Oh, and he's been caught trespassing on campus twice in the last two days. Dude, when campus police are busting you, it's time to give up the life of crime. I can't believe this guy was once a serious candidate in a Presidential campaign. By the way, the key line in the story is "None of those arrested were students." That's because they're all too busy already getting drunk.

-Speaking of commencement addresses that will be taking place soon, who do you think will get more security: Oprah on the campus of Duke University, or Vice President Joe Biden up at Syracuse?

-The NBA is debating whether or not to implement instant replay challenges into a game. Let me make it easy for you: NO. Look, I get that you want to get it right, but NBA officials are already allowed to check replay for whether a shot is a two or three pointer. Add a clause that allows them to check close out of bounds plays at the end of quarters and that should be enough. This isn't like football when you only get 4 or 5 possessions a game; in the NBA you get closer to 50. No one possession in the middle of the third quarter makes that much of a difference. Sorry to break it to you, Stern, but there are long stretches on NBA games that aren't crucial to the outcome.

-To answer your question: no, I don't want to talk about the horrific night that Boston sports teams had. I would have been better off going the Luke route: losing the right to watch sports on a coin flip and instead watching 2 hours of Grey's Anatomy. Wait, why am I in such a rush to date again?