It's A Guy Thing

Every man in the world has some know-it-all in them. We all have one thing that we will not, under any circumstances, listen to other people's advice about. It doesn't matter who the hell you think you are, we don't even care if you invented the damn process; when we feel we know all there is to know about a subject then the rest of the world just needs to back off while we do our thing. For some guys it's sports, for other it's politics and still others it's home repair. But, there are two universal subjects which all men feel they are masters at: grilling and starting a fire. For today's post we'll be covering fire-starting.

You see, this is a knowledge all men feel we have just been born with. It goes back to the caveman days when that was our big job, or else the family would freeze to death and not reach the ripe old age of 24. On New Year's Eve we had a fire going in the fireplace and it was very well set-up, well maintained and burned for hours. Clearly I know what I am doing around sticks, kindling and matches. But, just because one guy might look like he knows what he is doing when it comes to setting up a fire, that will not stop other men in the area from letting him know that they could probably do it better. I'm convince you could have Les Stroud, Bear Grylls, Tom Hanks character from Cast Away and Sully from down the block in a room and Sully would be the one telling everyone how to start the fire just because he was a boy scout for 3 weeks.

"No, you stack the logs into a tent-shape with newspaper in the middle."
"Are you sure there is enough kindling?"
"Make sure you can get air under there... that's what keeps the fire burning."
"Are these logs dry enough?"
"You're using one of those 'burns for three hours' logs? Pansy."

Oh, that last one is always said, you see, because just getting a fire started isn't enough. Then it's a game to see who can keep the fire going the longest, which leads to more advice.

"You need to move that log on top of the other one."
"Don't poke that log too much, it'll crumble."
"Should have put the big log on top."
"Don't you think it's time to add another log?"

And on, and on it goes. There is only one thing we can all agree on - lighter fluid is a sign of weakness.