My Tabloid Post

Normally I try to avoid commenting on news stories that are unfounded, gossipy, contain subjects I'm not familiar with or are just plain stupid. But, at the same time I couldn't let these slide past my radar:

-Reports are that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are splitting up. While I am never overcome with shock when any Hollywood couple allegedly breaks up, I kinda feel like I should give some advice to Ms. Jolie in this instance:

Look, Angelina, it's been a while since the last time you were single. And, sure, you've dialed back the crazy since then; even becoming a UN ambassador. But, while you have certainly come a long way since the days of wearing vials of blood around your neck and are still smoking hot, it doesn't change the fact that you have six freaking kids. Frankly, single guys would rather deal with the crazy hot chick than the single mom. And, while you were in the throws of domestic bliss, we found other crazy/hot girls in your place. You're competing with girls like Megan Fox who, while they are not as hot (a little lasering away of some hideous tattoos would go a long way in closing the gap, Megan), they don't bring along the kids. Honestly, ask Kate Gosselin how well the dating scene is working for her right now. Maybe you should start looking past Brad's annoying little habits and see the big picture. Just my two cents.

-Apparently the cast of Jersey Shore is offended by the low offer that they got from MTV to do a second season. Now, I've never seen this show, but I have a hard time believing that these people are such creative geniuses that MTV couldn't find replacements by the time I've finished typing this sentence. They were clearly desperate to be on TV in the first place - now is not the time to start driving a hard bargain. I wrote about this late last week: a reality show will replace you, move on and no one will miss you - just ask anyone who's ever competed on American Idol. Their place on TV is very tenuous, the last thing they want to do is start over-estimating their worth.

-The rock band The Scorpions have announced their next album and tour will be their last. According to the band they want to, "Go out on top." If that's the case then they really should have retired in 1989 when the Berlin Wall fell. Now, of course The Scorpions will live on because you can't go to a hockey game without hearing "Rock Me Like A Hurricane." Also, the news of their impending break-up seems to have permanently gotten "Wind of Change" stuck in my head and that hasn't happened since a 7th grade dance, so they've got that going for them. But, still, my reaction upon reading the news was more along the lines of, "Didn't that already happen?"