Too Many Lotions

I find shaving to be a giant hassle. Fortunately, as an Irish/Lithuanian fellow, I don't have to worry too much about it. Face it, neither are particularly hairy people. Being a natural blond helped matters greatly as, even while the hair on top of my head got darker as I got older, my facial hair still grew in with a light blond hue and could be ignored even longer. Because of this I only have to worry about shaving once a week or so. It was allowed to do this even less during my last couple of jobs because I worked in places where "I'm growing a playoff beard" was a legitimate and accepted excuse for showing up to work looking like I was just rescued off the side of a mountain.

But, somewhere in my travels I picked up a sample kit for three kinds of shaving lotions: a pre-shave beard softener, shaving cream and a new post-shave lotion to prevent skin irritation. Normally I don't use anything when I shave, just water, but I figured I would try these because if I didn't they would just end up sitting on top of a bureau collecting dust. Now, I like to keep my bathroom as clutter free as I can. When I would stay at my ex-girlfriend's place she and her roommate had a three-shelf shower insert that was literally over-flowing with products. I strive to go the other way. Other than a radio (I like music while I shower) I've got it down to an electric razor, a regular razor, toothpaste and a toothbrush. In the shower it's one bottle of conditioner, one bottle of shampoo and a bottle of body wash. It is very streamlined. This is a trait a lot of guys share - there is a reason people who make person hygiene products keep combining more and more products into one bottle. So for me to invest in these products I would have to be bowled over.

The pre-shower beard softener was of absolutely no use to me. I don't know if I missed a step in the directions (Step 1: apply to face. There is no step 2. So, nope, that's not it.), but it just seemed a waste of time. I did like the shaving cream, but only until I went online and saw that a bottle of this stuff was $25. Then came the new after-shave lotion which not only made me smell fruitier than I typically like to, but also gave the added feel of setting my face on fire. I guess the lesson I want you to take from this story is the following: you don't always have to take free samples.