Meet My Kids

Last night was a terrible night for TV. There wasn't a Celtic, Bruin or Red Sox game to be found. Also, I haven't picked up a new book or video game in a while, so I was hurting for something to pass the time. Somehow, in my travels to find entertainment on the Internet, I landed on MorphThing.com which is a website that will combine pictures to show you what two people would look like if they ever mated. Also, you can upload your own picture to see what it would look like if you and various celebrities combined into one person (they have a pretty large selection of pictures that are ready to go). But, the feature I messed around with the most is the one that shows what would happen if you and that celebrity ever had a kid. So of course I had to see what would happen if a couple of my favorites actresses and I ever got trapped in an elevator with no other way to pass the time. Other than the hair never coming out quite right, they turn out pretty good for a free service.

We start with Natalie Portman. She went to Harvard so she could
conceivably be in town for an alumni meeting or something.

Not bad. Though, I told you the hair isn't quite right
She appears to be fighting baby pattern baldness.

Jessica Biel.
This would be the only reason it's cool to be Justin Timberlake.


Skipping over the face for a second, where did that shirt come from?
How do you morph a green t-shirt and a white t-shirt,
yet come up with a yellow shirt with a blue collar?

Scarlett Johansson.
Sure, she's currently married. But, most celebrity marriages end in divorce,
so I'm just covering all my bases.


Ok, so our kid would be a little cross-eyed.
I'm sure there is a doctor that could fix that.

Alright, that was all a fine preamble,
but let's get to the one I really want to see:
Me and Shakira.


I can't be sure, but she may be laughing at how absurd the possibility of me
and her hooking up actually is.


Ouch, you got stuck with the Rakauskas chin. Tough break, kiddo.
Also, how do two brown-eyed people have a blue eyed child?