Cosmically Breaking Even

Today I learned the answer to two riddles.
Riddle 1: What's worse than getting stuck behind a foursome of little old ladies on the golf course?
Answer: Getting stuck behind a fivesome of little old ladies on the golf course.
Riddle 2: What's worse than getting stuck behind a fivesome of little old ladies on the golf course?
Answer: Getting stuck behind a fivesome of little old ladies who are playing behind a foursome of little old ladies.

Holy crap, these women took forever. When I first got to the course I thought I was in the clear, because from the road there didn't appear to be anybody even on the course despite a lot of cars in the parking lot. However, it turns out to that Wednesday mornings there is a women's league at this particular golf course and there were a few groups out there, but they were already well underway, playing the fourth hole of what is only a nine-hole golf course. I thought I was in the clear. Even though I was a single and I don't spend a lot of time over a shot I thought a four-hole lead would be more than enough.

I caught up to them on the sixth tee.

Now, by the time I got to the seventh tee box they still hadn't played the hole yet. The rules of common courtesy would lead you to think that they would at least offer to let me play through, which I would have refused because all that would have gotten me was smack dab into the foursome ahead of them but, dammit, I at least wanted the offer. The day people stop going through the motions of making offers they really don't want you to accept and know deep down you won't is the day the terrorists win. Instead, no one in the fivesome would even make eye contact with me (and believe me, I tried). And wouldn't you know it, the seventh hole is the shortest at this course, so I played it very quickly and the scene repeated itself at the eighth tee. Still no offer to allow me to play through. As I waited.... and waited... for them to play the eighth hole, I discovered the problem - they were waiting for the group ahead of them to clear the green. None of these ladies had a shot in hell of reaching the green in one, believe me. They absolutely could have started playing the hole and they never would have interfered with the group ahead of them. But no; I had to watch them advance down the fairway 25 yards at a time. Here's how long it took for them to finish up: as I was finishing the sixth hole another solo golfer was teeing off his round. He was on the seventh green as I was teeing off of the ninth. Let me break it down for you: he played 7 holes in the time it took me to play two. It was a lot of wasted time.

Fortunately, the Universe saw fit to equal me out. After golf I was going to the nearby Target to buy a very specific item. As I've mentioned before when I know what I want to buy I shop like I am on a scavenger hunt - get in, get the item, get out (this is especially necessary at a store like Target because if I start to examine the rack of $5 movies I could be there for a while). The place was packed with back-to-school shoppers and thus the checkout lines were pretty long. I got in the "shortest" one, behind a lady with a carriage full of clothes and supplies. She looked back at me, saw the one item and the exact change in my hand ready to go and very politely offered to let me pass and go first. This was an offer I was not going to turn down. I was in and out of the store in five minutes. Cosmic balance restored.