A Stop And A Show

Recently, I have begun to notice that the shorter the drive you are about to undertake, the more things the world is going to throw in your way on that drive. For example, if you have to drive to another state it will be smooth sailing almost the entire way. But, if you're driving to the store around the corner there is going to be a busted water main, a police detail and six school buses dropping kids off to make sure your five-minute excursion actually takes twenty. (It's probably karma for the fact that you felt the need to drive around the corner.)

This happened to me last night as I was driving to the house of a friend who lives in the same town. The journey normally would have taken about five minutes. But, as I came to the intersection about a half-mile from my house (one of only two traffic lights I have to get through to arrive at his house), I saw a man literally dancing through the cross walk. Now, I'm not sure if he was drunk, high or just special, but he was literally side-stepping his way across the crosswalk, making sure he was only stepping on the white lines. He would take a step sideways with his right foot, slide his left leg over in front, bring his right leg back to the front and then take a step back in the direction he came. Maybe in his mind he was acting out the famous piano scene from "Big", but either way he was having a grand old time shuffling his way through this intersection.

The problem was that he was only about halfway through his crossing when the signal changed from 'Walk' to 'Don't Walk'. Now, for whatever reason the SUV at the front of the line of cars was exceedingly patient as they didn't honk, yell out the window or anything. The guy just sat there, taking in the show. Personally, I would have been much more annoyed. So, the cars ended up missing about half their green light cycle before the man was finally out of the way enough that they could safely drive passed. This was when it got weird (as if it wasn't already). Apparently, Mr. Shuffles didn't appreciate the fact that the cars weren't waiting until he was on the sidewalk, because as the SUV drove passed he attempted to roundhouse kick the back panel. Fortunately he missed, but then he proceeded to flip off the next car and stick his tongue out at the third car. In his mind, they were the ones in the wrong. I don't know what he was so pissed about because like I said, they were a hell of a lot more patient that I would have been in that situation.

Anyway, now the cars were gone I figure the show was over, but this guy wasn't quite done with us yet. As he started to walk away from the intersection he stopped and pressed the crosswalk signal again. Then he walked away. Apparently, he felt as though everyone left at the intersection should pay for the fact he wasn't allowed to extend his performance. So, rather than getting to go I had to sit through the 'Walk' sign and then my light cycle was skipped as they let the other direction go again (my town's traffic lights are notorious for this). Awesome. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that the guy probably wasn't special needs, he was just a dick. At least I got some entertainment while I was waiting.