Weekly Sporties

-Just a few days after basically admitting he planned to make Tiger Woods a pick for the upcoming President's Cup, team Captain Freddie Couples backed off that this week, saying Woods would have to play a couple of times before then to prove his game is really worthy of being on the team. Now, people are saying this is a big conspiracy by Couples, who is friends with Woods, because now Woods can change his normally rigid schedule and say it was in the name of patriotism and not because his game needs the reps. And if Tiger Woods actually changed his schedule, I could maybe believe that. Personally, I don't see him adding events between now and then, no matter what Couples said - Woods is too set in his ways and doesn't care about the President's Cup that much. And I think Couples knows that, which is why he said it publicly. Now he can avoid picking Woods for the team (who currently doesn't deserve to be picked based on the way he is playing) and has an excuse other than the fact that Woods is playing like crap, which in turn won't embarrass Tiger by publicly shining a light on just how far he has fallen. Basically, Tiger would rather be seen as a stubborn jerk than as a bad golfer. That's a conspiracy I can get behind.

-In an interview set to hit the shelves this weekend, Michael Vick says that Philadelphia was not his first choice coming out of prison; he felt Buffalo and Cincinnati gave him better chances to start and that while the NFL didn't tell him where to sign, they definitely guided him to the Eagles. Some people are wondering if the NFL should have such power. I say those people forgot how hated Michael Vick was when he first got out of prison. The last thing the NFL wanted was public enemy #1 to be starting Week 1 of the season and if that was a possibility they may have thought about not reinstating him. Considering how everything has worked out for Vick since then, perhaps more free agents should let the NFL tell them where to sign.

-On Thursday former Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor was allowed to enter the NFL's supplemental draft, held for those students whose situations changed after the deadline to enter the normal draft. The Commissioner's office said Pryor could enter the draft, but that when he signed with a team he would face the same 5-game suspension he would have faced had he returned to Ohio State. The NFL said they didn't want the supplemental draft to become a loophole for kids who broke NCAA rules. The player's union said they would appeal on Pryor's behalf because they don't think the NFL has that kind of power, while some players wondered if Commissioner Goodell would enforce this kind of penalty against head coaches who did the same thing (hello, Pete Carroll). Considering no one thinks Pryor is going to be any good, that he may not even be picked in the draft and probably won't play this year if he was, I'm wondering what the hell all the fuss is about.

-An Oklahoma carpenter is suing Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy, saying Gundy fired him just for showing up to do work at the Gundy home while wearing an Oklahoma Sooners shirt. (Oklahoma and Oklahoma State are rivals.) For some reason, I feel like this story is a plant by Gundy. First off, he's more famous for his "I'm a man!" rant (Google it) than he is for any victory at Oklahoma State, so he's clearly media-savvy. Secondly, what's a better way to endear yourself to a rabid fan base who may be calling for your head if you have another mediocre season than to leak a story about how you love your school so much you won't even let anyone wearing your rivals' colors into your home? They eat stuff like this up in the Big 12. I'll bet you a booster has already offered to pay his non-existent legal fees.

-Speaking of the Big 12 (which only has 10 teams), they were in danger of becoming the Big 9 last week when it was reported that Texas A&M was going to be invited to join the SEC. Now, the SEC decided against expanding at this time, but that's not what is funny. What's funny is that Texas A&M spent the three days they were expecting an invitation bashing the Big 12, the University of Texas and everyone else associated with the league, only to find themselves still members. It's a little like someone having a good job interview and prematurely quitting their job, going out in a blaze of glory by telling everyone what they really think of them... and then finding out they didn't get that job and will be back in the office on Monday. Awkward.

-Last weekend Cubs' pitcher Carlos Zambrano was ejected from a game against the Braves after repeatedly throwing inside to Braves' batters after he gave up a couple of homeruns. You see, Carlos treats every homerun as a personal insult and has a habit of misdirecting that anger. By that I mean he likes to bean the next guy who comes to the plate and then scream at his own teammates. After his ejection, Zambrano cleaned out his locker and told people he intended to retire, but he changed his mind the next day. However, by then the Cubs had tired of this act and suspended him for 30 days without pay and will probably release or trade him this offseason. You see, there comes a point where the drama just isn't worth it anymore. And when you factor in that the Cubs are below .500 and Carlos has only won more than 16 games once in his career, his act officially has worn out its welcome in Chicago. They stink with him and they will stink more without him, but at least it will be quieter in the dugout.

-A few days ago Twins DH Jim Thome hit his 600th career homerun. This would have been a major milestone a few years ago, but because of all the steroid drama of the past few years the number doesn't seem to mean as much as it used to and the chase was rather muted. Still, that hasn't stopped many in the media of saying how nice it is that we finally have a homerun milestone where the player is totally clean. (Cue heavy sigh.) Have you sports writers learned nothing? Just because you don't think Thome has taken any steroids, it doesn't mean he hasn't. I'm not saying you shouldn't celebrate the man or the accomplishment or that I believe Thome was taken steroids, because I don't. I'm just saying don't take it to a level where Thome is treated as a savior of the game. You tried that with Sosa and McGwire and look how that turned out. At the end of the day, you only know as much as the player wants you to know - you have no idea what Thome does when he goes home at night, so just stop it already.