Lane Violation

If you ever want to see people at their least-patient, wander into any supermarket which doesn't have enough people working on the registers around 6 o'clock. In some ways it is inspiring, because it immediately brings a group of strangers together in a common cause. Sure, that common cause is complaining about the store, the manager and how slow the three people actually working the registers are, but it is better than nothing. However, it can also be a slide-show of people at their worst. Waiting in line will cause people to revert back to grade school when being first meant nothing in the grand scheme of things, but everything to you at that moment. There are few things in life sadder than seeing adults try to passive-aggressively cut other adults, all without making eye contact because that would somehow admit what they were doing was wrong (until that point you can always claim the "I didn't see you" defense). The other night I went to BJ's and for some reason this location, with 24 registers, had less than a quarter of them open. Also, one woman appeared to have broken the 'self-checkout' lane, which was only adding to the misery. Fortunately I was able to sneak over to the express checkout lane because we were only trying to buy two item. However, I should probably mentioned the two items were queen-sized beds.

I was trying to cause as little disruption as possible, but that was rather hard because BJ's doesn't have the best carts for carrying beds. For a store that sells an insanely wide variety of items (even the woman working the register seemed surprised when we rolled up with beds, because she didn't know they sold them), it is kind of a mystery as to why they only offer two kinds of carts - the standard shopping cart and a small flat-bed which isn't nearly big enough when you think about the kind of items which would require a flat bed. I would have loved to stand the beds on their sides to have cut down on taking up the entire aisle, but given the limited choice of carts that was impossible. Also, if they plan to continue selling large items like this I would suggest to the management of BJs that they do some measuring. The beds, which are 5 feet wide, took up about 95% of each checkout aisle, which was supposed to make two separate lines. That doesn't help anyone in the situation. In addition, since it was after the sun had set on a cool night the normal garage doors to the front of the store had been close, which meant going out the side. Turns out the sliding doors in and out of BJ's are about 5 feet, 2 inches wide. I barely made it out. It was a good thing I didn't want to upgrade to a king-size.

Normally, since I hate being the center of attention, I would be mildly embarrassed at taking up all this space in a public setting but when you are in a place where people can buy 25 pounds of mayonnaise, I figure as long as you aren't the guy doing that you can hold your head up high. In fact, the only person who really seemed annoyed at the situation was the woman in line behind us. She kept looking around to see if any lane was shorter or appeared to be moving faster, but every sign kept indicating she should stay right where she was in the express lane. [Sidebar: can we talk for a moment about how crazy it is for a store like BJ's to have an express lane? It's a bulk warehouse store. You're supposed to be able to go once a month and buy all your supplies for the next six weeks as well as half your Christmas presents in one trip. It never occurred to me that people would use it for their normal grocery shopping. The man in front of us just had a frozen chicken and a gallon of milk. I have no doubt it was cheaper at BJ's than it would have been at a supermarket, but does that still hold true when you factor in the yearly membership? Just seemed like going to a candy factory to buy a stick of gum.] We briefly made eye contact and I think she had a momentary idea about asking if she could go ahead of us, but quickly changed decided getting around us wouldn't be worth the trouble.

For a second that looked like a good decision because before we even got to the register the one directly beside us opened up and she jumped on it. But, rather ironically, we still still finished first because since we were buying two of the same thing they only had to scan one of them and the entire transaction took about 2 minutes. Meanwhile, they couldn't find the key to unlock the cabinet where they keep the carton of cigarettes she wanted. We were off to negotiate our way through the nearly-too-small doors before she was close to being done. Still, watching this woman bounce back and forth, so desperate to save 40 seconds was kind of amusing. This is why I always pick one lane and stick with it because, just like on the highway, the second you switch lanes the one you just left is going to start moving faster. I know that in this case it would have only saved that woman a couple of minutes, but clearly she thought her time was that valuable. I was far less worried about it but, then again, if the people working the registers took way too long I was comforted by the fact I had a spot to lay down and take a nap. Maybe that is what grocery stores should think about putting in next.