Spark Of Science

If you have been outside in Massachusetts lately you know that the temperature has taken a dramatic dip in the last couple of days. (I am slightly comforted by the fact that most of the country is experiencing some kind of freeze at the moment so we are all in this together... but only slightly. At least we haven't been getting the snow other places have.) Temps have been staying in the teens and low-20s during the day before dropping into the single digits during the evening. It is the kind of cold which makes you question just how badly you need to go outside and if you simply can't help but venture out you make sure to think long and hard about exactly where you need to go and then map out the most efficient route to minimize the time spent exposed to the elements. (Seriously, we should all be this focused all the time - we'd get a lot more done.) The thing is that I'm not complaining because I know it is part of the drill and, having lived in Massachusetts all my life, at this point I have a large collection of winter clothes to pick through. Also, I am aware that in a couple months I'll be dying of heat and begging for cold again. Clearly, I know how this works. But, I will tell you what I could do without - the constant static electricity shocks.

I'm sure I am not the only person who has had this happen to them, but for the last couple of days every time I put on my coat I would hear the crackle of energy in the air and had to think about how to open the door without touching the knob and getting shocked. The shocks are never painful, just annoying. I'm sure part of it is by hearing the electricity and knowing my hair is standing up in every direction I am aware the shock is coming and that anticipation makes it worse. I mean, it is not like one of these shocks has ever erased my cellphone memory, so there can't be too much power in them. Still, worse than the shocks you can sense are coming are the ones which happen when you didn't know they were even possible. This afternoon I went to pick up a remote, which I'm pretty sure is 98% plastic. Unfortunately, my hand was close enough to the one screw which holds the entire thing together that the electricity was able to jump and complete the circuit, audible pop and all, causing me to drop the remote like it was on fire. (Seriously, I burned my hand the other day and my reaction time was slower.) But, that was just the most dramatic of what turned out to be a day full of mini-shocks every time I touched metal.

I used to think the idea of getting shocked more during the cold winter months was one of those times where my mind was playing tricks on me - I was building up just as much static electricity during the summer months, my brain had just forgotten about the frequency of getting shocked in the last couple of months and made it feel like it was happening more lately. However, after one too many mini-shocks this afternoon I decided to do a little bit of research and discovered it wasn't all in my head. **Warning - science ahead... even worse, it's internet science, so you know it must be true.** As you probably know, their are small electrical currents running through your body constantly. During the summer months the air is more humid and the moisture in the air allows the electricity to be passed off with ease. But, in the cold, dry air of winter the electricity has nowhere to go, so it sticks around your body, eventually building up to a large enough charge that it sparks off when you get close to metal. So according to this website, you really do get more static electricity shocks during the winter than in the summer months. Content with that answer, I went about the rest of my day.

The only thing I would have liked more was if the site had suggested ways I could combat the build-up of static electricity during these cold months, because the idea of staying lathered up from now to May in an effort to make it easier for the energy to pass on through isn't very appealing. Plus, I watch a lot of "SurvivorMan" and know that sweat leads to hypothermia. That's a pretty terrible trade-off. (Of course, it should be noted that I'm taking the information at face value from a website and if the last week of people coming forward to tell their own Manti T'eo-inspired tales of getting duped by people on the internet should have taught me anything it is that pretty much no one tells the truth on the internet. For all I know that site is just one kid who wants someone to fail a science project for his own amusement and is really good at search engine optimization.) The only good news is that despite this particular slap of cold weather, we've had a string of really mild winters and should be back in the mild temperatures before too long. Which is a good thing, because you really forget how much metal there is around you until you are making an effort not to touch it and failing miserably. You could even say the amount is... shocking.