More Movie Reviews

Once again I have seen enough movies on my cable movie channels that it is time to offer up some more reviews. Just as a reminder, these reviews shouldn't be taken as endorsements or criticisms because I would never presume to know what kind of movie you would enjoy. That is why these reviews very rarely mention the quality of the movie and tend to focus on random things which caught my eye while watching them. The goods news is that if something I said intrigues you, these movies are old enough that by now they are either on your cable movie channels On-Demand feature, NetFlix or available for rent on the cheap somewhere else. If you see any of these and then hate it, at least you didn't have to pay $12 to be disappointed. Let's get to it...

-Man On A Ledge At its core this is a heist movie with a far too-complicated scheme and so many twist and turns that it felt as though they tried to be too clever in the writers' room. However, it is entirely possible that I wasn't following everything that was going on because I couldn't get passed the fact that most of the movie consisted of a guy standing on a ledge, hundreds of feet in the air. As a man who is uncomfortable with heights, I kept wondering how much shooting this movie must have sucked. I'm sure everyone was buckled and strapped in to numerous safety devices, but those things can fail. Plus, that was probably just the talent - my guess is the crew wasn't nearly as secure. Do you think there was one sound guy who showed on the first day and completely freaked out? He thought the title was meant to be obscure or ironic, never thinking he had just signed on to be an amateur trapeze artist for the next month of his life. I'll say this much, if he quit that morning I certainly wouldn't have blamed him. Not to mention, sound is entirely over-rated. It certainly didn't hurt "The Artist" (though the lack of it didn't help that movie either).

-Snow White And The Huntsman If you asked me to explain why I watched this movie I would not be able to give you a legitimate answer other than the fact that I got sucked in waiting to see who played the various dwarfs and then figured I had wasted this much of my life, what's another 30 minutes? Anyway, after watching this I am trying to figure out how Kristen Stewart still gets work, because she seriously has the same facial expression (like she just smelled a fart) no matter what emotion she is trying to convey. Towards the end there is supposed to be a big battle and Snow White gives the rousing pre-war speech (by the way, if you couldn't tell from the trailer this is nothing like the Disney version). Anyway, the fact that Stewart delivers the speech looking and sounding like she would rather be anywhere else in the world really killed it for me. I bet in real life her army would have been so uninspired they would have been slaughtered. Someone needs to remind Stewart that she is a highly-paid actress, she could at least act like she is awake when the camera is rolling.

-5 Year Engagement This is a perfectly cute little movie, starring two people I honestly think I would like to hang out with in real life (Jason Segel and Emily Blunt). The story follows their characters as they plan to get married, but jobs and life keep getting in the way as they grow to want different things. Watching this I couldn't help but remember, just like in real life, two people who are really good people don't always make a really good couple. Seriously, in the course of watching this movie I must have muttered "They should just break up" half a dozen times to no one in particular. And had the movie gone in that direction it probably would have made for a far more interesting conclusion. Instead they went with the typical, overly-schlocky ending, which felt more annoying than usual. Not every couple has to stay together forever and live happily ever after. I know people don't usually go to the movies to be reminded of stuff like that but when we already have dozens of movies with predictable endings one out of ten taking a realistic turn would have been strangely refreshing.

-Wrath Of The Titans At first blush, this doesn't seem like the type of movie which is going to be serving up valuable life lessons, but it does. You see, a few years ago I went into the first remake of "Clash of the Titans" with low-to-no hopes of it being any good. (After all, the original was horrendous.) Therefore, when it wasn't awful I was pleasantly surprised and on the verge of saying I enjoyed the experience. The problem is that since that movie did better than expected Hollywood ordered a sequel almost immediately and then decided not to mess with the formula. The result is a movie that is very similar to the first one and while that sounds like a good formula on the surface, it doesn't work. Just because I enjoyed something the first time around that doesn't mean I suddenly want to have the exact same experience a couple years later. It was too special-effects heavy and came up short under the burden of slightly-raised expectations. But at least I had another example of a truth I was already pretty familiar with - sometimes the smarter course of action is to quit while you're ahead.

-Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World... First off, this was by far the best movie of this bunch, even though the trailer lied. A few months ago I talked about the movie, "Jeff, Who Lives At Home" and how a movie where comedians try to be serious are either great or awful with nothing in between. Well, even though this movie is filled with comedians playing almost every role there are only a few jokes throughout the whole thing (you see them all in the trailer and you need to know this is not the light-hearted comedy romp you are expecting), this movie was great. I reminded me a lot of "Stranger Than Fiction" and I really think these are the kinds of roles Steve Carell should be doing all the time. Also, the soundtrack was great, which made me wonder why it is always movies like this which have the best soundtrack. You would think the big-budget blockbusters could afford any music rights they wanted, so why is it always these less-hyped movies which have the best music? Is it simply because they can't afford a big orchestra to record original music or do you think the writer just has had more time to think it through? Either way it should serve as a lesson for the rest of these filmmakers because the right song as the right moment can really take a movie from good to great in a hurry.