A Little Something Extra

There is nothing worse than being at a party where the conversation has stalled. We've all been there - it's a lot of staring around the room hoping something interesting will catch your eye but instead all you hear are ice cubes melting. Awkward silences are bad enough when they involve two people, but expand them to include an entire room full of mostly strangers and this is when the silence gets deafening. In these situations a lot of people will fall onto the old stand-by conversational topic of the weather but it is getting to the point where bringing that up is almost worse, because it is like acknowledging these people have run out of interesting things to say. That is why I have an idea for what you should bring up instead - tipping. Seriously, just say the word tipping and watch the sparks fly because everyone has a story about tipping, either when they worked in the food service industry and got shafted by someone or know someone who did. Not only that you can get a solid debate going about who people should tip versus who shouldn't get a little extra and what percentage of the bill is adequate. There is a good chance every person in the room will have a different standard that they think is the best. Sure, a few moments may get a little heated but it certainly beats sitting around talking about the heat or complimenting the dip.

A few months ago there was a story about a pastor in Missouri who crossed out the automatic 18% gratuity on large groups and left nothing but a note on the bill stating she, "Gives 10% to the Lord, so why do you deserve 18%?" That woman instantly (and rightfully) became the wrong kind of internet famous for a few days. But if you really want to see everyone freak out and keep talking about this topic for an extended period of time, mention the concept of tipping on a website and involve a celebrity. There is something about famous people which causes the general public to turn into the tipping police, because everyone starts weighing in when a star is called out as a bad tipper. The second a celebrity leaves less than what the server finds adequate the entire world knows about it (yet another reason I never want to be famous). My take: no one ever asks if the service was bad. Maybe the waitress didn't even deserve the 13% she got. I have to say running to complain to people on Reddit is not exactly going to show people how professionally you should be treated. (As an aside, I have noticed that posting a tip, whether it is really good or really bad, will immediately result in the server getting fired. I really hope they would consider that before proceeding, but I'm going to assume they do not.) Besides all that, there is the basic fact that how much I make in my daily life has nothing to do with how well you have done your own job but people never want to consider that in the discussion either.

It is especially bad for athletes because their salaries are printed in the paper so people think they know exactly how much money those people have in the bank. One of these debates came up this week involving New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees after someone posted a picture of a receipt Brees left at a local restaurant where the bill was around $74 and Brees left a $3 gratuity. Almost immediately people began to chastise Brees, especially since he just signed a new $100 million dollar deal about a year ago. (I will explain this again to the non-sports fans out there - contracts are never worth as much as the announced amount. First, those numbers are only if the player hits every incentive clause and secondly you have to take out between 5 and 10% for their agent. I'm not saying Brees is hurting for money, just that you shouldn't claim to know the amount on his last statement.) The discussion got so loud it was even a topic on "SportsCenter" and the local reporters at Saints training camp felt it was necessary for Brees to explain himself. It was only after Brees clarified that the order was take-out and he would have tipped 20% had he actually sat down in the restaurant that the internet finally composed itself and the restaurant owner ended up apologizing to Brees for the embarrassment.

Of course, since this was the internet, the calm was short-lived because soon after the lively debate over whether or not polite society should be expected to tip on take-out started. I have to say this one scared me because I like to think I am a pretty good tipper (even if it is the worst service I've ever had you're going to get 10% and I always throw the delivery guy a few extra bucks) but I never even think of tipping when I show up to pick up my take-out order. I always assumed that since (in my experience) the line cooks aren't cut in on the tips at the end of the night they aren't nearly as dependent on the extra cash. Plus, am I tipping the person whose only involvement in the meal was ringing me up? I don't leave a couple bucks for the people who work at TJ Maxx and they are equally involved. However, no one wants to be thought of as cheap even though I will never see 99% of these people ever again so thanks to this debate I am second guessing myself and now I may have to rethink my policy in the future. But, regardless of what your personal tipping policy may be, the point is I don't think anyone is in a position to question what other people want to leave. I would like to remind everyone is it very easy to expect a rich person to leave a 150% tip when it is not your money. Let the actual restaurant workers deal with them and just remember, it is never wise to mess with the people who touch your food.