Keep Your Guard Up

I usually try and come down on the right side of law enforcement. The way I see it, I would never want to be a cop because it is such a thankless job so anyone willing to take on that responsibility should get respect and admiration. That being said, there is one issue I really disagree with the police union on and that is when police are sent out to work as traffic detail for work being done on the side of the road. I understand that for a lot of cops those details are how they make the majority of their salary, but at the same time it gets harder and harder to swallow every time I drive passed and see them standing around not doing anything. (Even worse are the times when there are cars having trouble navigating their way around and the cops still aren't doing anything.) This has actually become a hot-button issue in the last couple of years because there are some in the local government who want to take these cops off the details and replace them with civilians waving flags. The politicians contend it would save money because they could pay them less and it would allow the cops to rest up for their regular duty. The cops are obviously against it but they claim it is a safety issue. (This is clearly grasping at straws and I would respect the police more if they just admitted that. No one is going to hold it against you if you don't want your salary cut - no one wants that. Stop hiding behind made-up concerns.) If the cops really want to get people back on their side they should point out the bang-up job civilians do the other time they are given traffic authority as crossing guards. I'll tell you this much, it would certain sway me over to their way of thinking.

This morning I had a doctor's appointment to follow up on the back injury I had last month. Even though my doctor is usually pretty good about staying on schedule even the best offices fall behind during the day, so my strategy was to get in and out as quickly as possible by getting an early appointment. The only problem with my plan is that at that time of the morning it meant I had to deal with crossing guards who were out to make sure the kids made it to school safely. Now, I don't want you to think I don't respect what the crossing guard is there to do. Obviously little kids can't be left alone near busy intersections and should get priority when they need to cross the road, because patience is not taught in schools... ever. Kids get to an intersection and they want to be on the other side this second, so having an adult there to oversee their progress is a great idea. The issue was that the crossing guards I saw this morning were hanging around long after the school day had begun to make sure the parents who had walked their kids to school were going to be able to make it back to their houses. To me, this is a gross abuse of power. The way I figure it crossing guard authority ends when it is applied to anyone over the age of 14, so these guards halting traffic so a perfectly able-bodied woman in her late-30s can cross the street without waiting seems like overstepping her boundaries. If that woman hasn't figured it out by now she never will.

Because I don't have any kids I can typically avoid school zones around the time the children are released back into the wild. However, it is getting harder to avoid the crossing guards, as their range appears to be expanding. Seriously, when I was in elementary school I think there was one crossing guard located on each side of the school and they were there to get you across the street and off school property - after that you were on your own. Now these crossing guards can be found standing at intersections which are miles away. On top of that they don't appear to have any concept of traffic patterns as they go about their duties. As soon as a kid shows up the guards strut out into traffic as if the stop sign in their hand came from a Presidential order and just start messing with your errands, causing you to miss green lights and creating long lines of cars where there shouldn't be any. It is even worse if you happen to be walking down the street because many of these crossing guards act as though they have real authority over adults and will yell at you if you try to cross anywhere but the crosswalk. I guess it is because they want any adults in the area to set a good example for the children coming out of school but I have to say if these kids are ready and willing to follow the lead of any stranger they see on the street than they need to be turned around and sent right back into a classroom, as they are clearly in need of more education.

Out of curiosity I went online this afternoon and checked what you would need to do if you wanted to become a crossing guard. As it turns out, not much. Most schools' only requirements are that you be able to communicate with students and make quick decisions (and they don't appear to be a stickler on that last part). Even crazier was that many of the listings I saw said the shifts were typically only 40 minutes in the morning and afternoons, which meant these crossing guards who were still hanging around to assist the parents had gone rogue. Clearly these are people with some time to kill in their day but how crazy is it to think they stick around after their shift and just keep stopping traffic? I can only assume it is because the power has gone to their heads, so the next thing you know they are going to start showing up at random intersections in the middle of the day to help elderly citizens cross the street and causing delays on those roadways as well. I'm all for safety but if we're not careful someday there is going to be a crossing guard at the end of every driveway. The only good news is that at least if they are all doing this after their shift has ended at least it won't cost us any money. I always say the measure of how much something annoys me is directly related to how much it costs, so unless crossing guards start pulling down $50 an hour like cops on detail I guess it could always be worse. Still we need to be careful because if this is how they react when given a sign and vest, God only knows what would happen if they got a badge and a gun.