I Didn't Ask For That

I was out at dinner the other night and ordered a hamburger. Since I had a small, early lunch I was starving by the time it arrived but still wanted to double check that my order was correct, since I refuse to be one of those people who eats half a sandwich before sending it back because something is not up to my standards. The burger I had ordered was a fairly simple one - the menu said it came with bacon, garlic mayonnaise (spoiler, tasted just like the regular stuff) and cheese. That was all the ingredients that were listed. Still, I decided to check it out, because I know places have a habit of just tossing in extras. On top was some lettuce, but I don't mind that. But that still made my spider-sense tingle and I kept digging. Sure enough, hidden under the burger (and I really hate it when cooks do that, by the way) was a tomato slice. Here's a question I would like to ask all the food service people of America: why do you automatically include a tomato slice in every sandwich?

I happen to not like tomato slices. I will eat tomatoes in both sauce and ketchup form, but I do not enjoy plain slices of tomato. And, an informal poll reveals that I am far from the other person who shares this feeling. Yet, tomatoes are tossed onto sandwiches almost daily, as if the people making the food are doing us a favor. "Hey, I threw in a little extra for you, free of charge!" Man, if you are going to throw something extra in, how about some more meat to create a bigger burger? Or, better yet, you could toss on some extra fries. But, no, instead you get all generous with the extra, unwanted item that has the consistency of a spoiled apple and feels as though the middle of it isn't done growing yet. Oh, and it has seeds to. Awesome. How kind of you. At least it's not like tomatoes have a strong taste. If they did they would tell you to use tomato juice to cover up really rancid smells, like if you got sprayed by a skunk. Hey, wait a second...

Restaurants do this with pickles as well. Pickles just show up on the plate as if they belong there by birthright. They aren't as bad as tomatoes because they aren't touching the sandwich I didn't want them on to begin with. Not to mention they are off to the side, so there is little to no chance you can bite into one by accident, unlike the hidden tomato slices. However, pickles do always managed to make the three or four nearest french fries taste like pickle, which is to say they ruin the nearest three of four french fries. And again, this is an item most people do not want or ask for. I'm fairly convinced that pickles get sent out and return to the kitchen unscathed all the time. Wouldn't surprise me that to save costs some places, rather than waste them, recycled them and that go out there four or five times before they actually get eaten. It is also an issue of health. Since every child born today has a peanut allergy you would never see them just include peanuts with an order. I'm not even sure if pickle allergies are a thing, but all it would take is one person having one and you'd have a huge lawsuit on your hands.

The thing is, I would be more than happy to tell my server that I didn't want tomatoes or pickles with my dinner if they simply told me they were included. Just put something on the menu to let me know they are coming unless I make a formal request. A couple summers ago there was a tomato shortage and places stopped automatically putting them on sandwiches, making you ask for them if you wanted tomato slices. It was glorious. But, most places are back to including them without asking if you want them or telling you they are coming. In this down economy we can't afford to be just giving away food that more often than not is going to waste. So, I say keep your tomatoes to yourself unless someone specifically asks for one. That way nothing gets wasted and I don't get any surprises four bites into my meal. Everybody wins.