Totally Trippy

Growing up, I was what the kids today would call "straight edge." Perhaps it was the narc-vibe that I gave off, or maybe I was just a dork, but I've never taken any recreational drugs. Didn't even get offered until I was 26. To be honest, at this point I wouldn't even know how to get them; I wouldn't know where to go, who to talk to and I'm sure there is some level of protocol that I would just be unfamiliar with (not that I'm looking to take up drugs at 29). The reason I bring it up is, because of my rather low-tolerance for any kind of drug any thing added to my body that wouldn't make normal people bat an eyelash can send my system spinning. I have been fighting a cold for the last couple of days and, in an attempt to not have this cold get any worse, I've been taking some cough medicine before bed each night. What has followed has been nights filled with incredibly vivid dreams. I'm talking lots of action, deep plots and special effects that would make James Cameron blush. Upon waking up, I find my pillows thrown around the room. Now, I don't remember the dreams once I wake up but, still, for that half-second after my eyes open I'm convinced I just watched the best movie ever.

-While I was driving around doing errand the last couple days I noticed a new trend and I think it's time we all talked about how stupid it is. Somewhere along the line people decided that it would look cool to take stickers that looked like bullet holes and put them all over their cars. Apparently, it's supposed to make the driver seem hardcore enough to be shot at. While that's all well and good, and white kids from the suburbs trying to seem like tough kids from the streets is nothing new, perhaps if you want to have "bullet holes" on the back of your parents' Range Rover you should first peel off the window cling from the local prep school. I hardly think people from Xaverian ever get shot at. In fact, I contend they could go to Iraq and not get shot at.

-Dear United States Postal Service: I always hear that you are losing ground to FedEx and UPS and now I know why. Far be it from me to tell you how to run this government agency, but when it's the week of Christmas (which I would imagine is the busiest time of the year for you) maybe you shouldn't just have two people behind the counter during the lunch-time rush. Also, perhaps you should considered having people with a little zip in their step back there, versus people who are in no great rush to help people with their shipping needs. It could really make the whole operation go a lot faster.