Quick Movie Reviews

A phone call to Verizon last month, the purpose of which was just to add another phone line to the house, revealed that we were in line for a whole slew of upgrades. We were now going to get the Golf Channel (YES, YES, Y-E-S!!), several new high-definition channels and the big haul was three free months of HBO, Cinemax and Showtime. So, I've been catching up on my movies the last couple of weeks; both the ones I wanted to see but never made it to the theatres to do so, or the ones which I had no desire to see. (Who am I to turn them down when it's free and there is nothing better on TV?) Anyways, most have been terrible, but I'm giving you my reviews anyway. There are several of them, so I'll make them quick.

Yes, Man A very nice rip-off of Liar, Liar. But, I liked that movie, so this one was fine. I'm less offended because at least it was Jim Carrey copying himself instead of taking a lesser actor and using them to bastardize a sequel, like they did with Jamie Kennedy and Son of the Mask. Frankly, the most unbelievable part of this movie was when Carrey's character was taking guitar lessons from some kid and the song he learned was "Jumper" from Third Eye Blind. Really? Some 17 year-old is going to teach a song that came out when he was 5? I don't care that it came around later in the movie, it bothered me tremendously.

Dance Flick I'm not usually a big fan of parody movie that try to cram 15 movies into one, but at least they are usually good for a chuckle or two. Not this one. I didn't laugh once.

The Soloist I feel like Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey, Jr. were openly trolling for Oscars in this movie. Alas, they just didn't tug on the heart stings enough. (Get it? Heart strings? Cause it's a movie about a guy with a cello? Nevermind, let's just move on.)

You're Welcome, America This came out last year, but I only got around to seeing it now. I love Will Ferrell and think he did the best job of any SNL performer when imitating George Bush. But, I got the joke after 15 minutes and this thing was an hour and a half. Could have been half as long and it would have been better.

Journey to the Center of the Earth You know how occasionally rides at amusement parks are based off of movies? In this case, I think they had the ride ready before the movie was done. It's basically three people in front of a green screen for a couple hours.

The Mummy 3 Ouch, Brendan Fraser goes 0-2. I used to really like this guy as an actor after School Ties and With Honors, but he's had some really bad misses lately. This was another movie where they probably paid the writer $15 and spent the rest on special effects.

12 Rounds If you accept going in that it's an action movie starring a wrestler you will have a much more enjoyable time. There is no heavy thought involved and also some very large explosions. Kind of all you could want from this, actually.

Death Race Yes, Jason Statham, we get it - you like cars. Maybe you should start liking movies that have plots.

Role Models You should just see I Love You, Man instead. It was funnier.