Team "Please Don't Make Me Watch The Sequel."

Ladies, let me tell you why I am a fantastic boyfriend: when you date me, you get your way roughly 98% of the time. Now, it's not that you're right 98% of the time, it's just that I don't care about 98% of things enough to fight about them. In fact, in taking a second to think about it, there are really only three things I feel strongly enough about to dig my heels in:

1. Bill Russell was better than Wilt Chamberlain.
2. Christmas presents are only to be opened on Christmas morning.
3. The Beatles are better than the Rolling Stones.

Seriously, that's about it. I'm willing to compromise on almost anything else. The catch is that I don't usually pick up on subtleties, so you need to take the direct approach. Allow me to give an example:

My Hypothetical Girlfriend: Hey, we should go ice skating this weekend.
Me: No, ice skating is not my thing. Tried it, didn't like it.
MHG: C'mon, you might enjoy it if you give it another shot.
Me: Nah, let's do something else.
MHG: I want to go ice skating.
Me: Ok, we'll go ice skating.

And it's just that easy. Another effective tool is to not even tell me in advance - spring an activity on me at the last minute. Annoyed because we still haven't gone to dinner with your sister and her new boyfriend? Make a dinner reservation and tell me about it later. I might complain about the lack of notice, but I'll be bitching as I head upstairs to put on a nicer shirt (acting like you told me about this and I simply forgot is also stunningly effective). Believe me, I'll be over it by the time we're at the restaurant. Hell, I'll be over it by the time my shoes are on.

The last (and sometime best) option if you have the patience is to just wait me out. Eventually I'll come around to your way of thinking on my own. This technique always works with movies that I do not want to see on first glance. We may not get to it in the theatres, but when it's out on video and it's a lazy Sunday with nothing else on TV, then it's a good bet we'll spend the day watching some terrible movies. So, really it should be no surprise that the other night, with 3 months of free Showtime and no good TV shows on... I caved and saw Twilight.

I do not get why this is popular. I know some very intelligent women who love this movie and swear by the books, but while watching it I could actually feel my IQ dropping. The dialog is so cheesy that I imagine the first draft of this book was written in the back of some 13 year-old's biology notebook, with hearts dotting the i's and five exclamation points at the end of every sentence. Also, Kristen Stewart spends the whole movie with a look on her face like someone farted right before the director yell, "Action." This was awful, just awful. I could not have liked this movie less. There is absolutely no way I will ever watch the second one... which means check back in a couple months for my review.