When I went outside this morning, I could smell smoke in the air. However, since it is Memorial Day, I just assumed that it was someone in the neighborhood getting a really early start on their barbecue. As it turns out, it is actually smoke from forest fires up in Canada. There is a large series of fires are burning outside Quebec and the smoke has caught enough of a jet stream to make it all the way down to Massachusetts. It's actually pretty amazing that as far as we are from the actual fires that you can really smell the smoke outside and even see it if the light catches it. But, I guess here in the Northeast we were sort of due for some kind of weather pattern to bite us: the Icelandic volcanic ash never made it here, the oil spill isn't expected to make it here even if does make it to the Atlantic and we've avoided any serious heatwaves so far. Plus, it just makes me think of camping and I suddenly have a craving for s'mores.
-Here's another example of why the Internet is so awesome: the other day I had around five minutes to kill before I was heading out the door and I was flipping around before I had to leave (don't want to get anywhere too early). During the channel surfing, I landed on the opening sequence to Raiders of the Lost Ark. So, I'm watching a very young Harrison Ford try to guess the exact weight of an idol when it cuts back to the guy he is in the cave with and while I know I know that face, I don't know from where. It's clearly an actor I've seen before, but it has to be a very early role for him. Before the Internet this would have bothered me because I didn't have time to wait for the movie to play out and check the credits. But, instead I was able to hop onto the laptop and had my answer in about two minutes - it was a very young Alfred Molina in his first credited movie role. Never would have come up with that name, especially because he is English and was playing a Spaniard. Score another one for IMDB.
-So now that his season has ended, Amare Stoudemire has said he expects to be invited to this "free agent summit" that has been convened by LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Joe Johnson. Alright, that's enough. Joe Johnson was probably already pushing the limits by being invited. Look - not all free agents are created equal and it's time that someone takes these guys aside and tells them that. Stoudemire is not good enough to warrant inclusion into this group. Ask the Miami Heat about how good Shawn Marion was when he wasn't playing alongside of Steve Nash anymore or the Bucks about Richard Jefferson without Jason Kidd. He's a product of the system he plays in. Stoudemire is easily the sixth most important free agent this offseason. [My personal rankings: James, Wade, Dirk (I don't consider his return to Dallas the sure thing everyone else does), Bosh and then Johnson.] If you're not in the top five than I think any "summit" can be conducted without your input.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Just Not The Same
Buried amongst the dozens and dozens of channels on my TV is HDNet, which is one of those high definition channels which can be completely random. The programming is all over the place - sometimes it's a sitcom, other times it's a movie and a lot of the time on weekends they like to show concerts. The other day when I paused on HDNet it was a concert by Journey, so of course I had to watch some of it and see how they were. While occasionally they'll break out a classic show, this time it wasn't an old concert by the original line-up but a show from the last couple of years with the new lead singer that they found on YouTube. Now, the reason that they hired this guy was that he sounded just like Steve Perry, who was on lead vocals when the band had it's most commercial success. But I have to tell you, it doesn't matter how similar the voices are, it just isn't the same.
Bands try and do this all the time, finding a singer who sounds enough like the original lead singer so they can keep on touring with the same songs. But I feel like bands underestimate how much impact the change makes during a concert. While the studio albums might still sound enough alike that you can pass them off on the radio, changing the face of the band in concert just doesn't work. I don't care if the rest of the lineup is the same, as long as they try to perform the old hits with a new singer it will always feel as though you are simply watching a cover band with a high production value. Why do you think that Aerosmith thought better of touring without Steven Tyler and Van Halen keeps reuniting with David Lee Roth, despite the fact that they clearly can't stand him?
Van Halen actually has shown both the right and the wrong way to change singers. The first time they hired Sammy Hagar and completely changed their style - a little more pop, not as much rock. Changing the style was a good attempt to show a clean break from the DLR days. But when Hagar left and they brought in Gary Charone, it just didn't work because they essentially tried to get him to sing as Hagar and Roth. That failed miserably. So, let that be a lesson to you bands out there - if you're going to make a change, go all the way. Just changing one thing is more cheesy than effective.
-I was reading a story on ESPN this morning about how a lot of the players in the upcoming World Cup are unhappy about the ball. This, of course, led me to have a question: how do you screw up a soccer ball? It is literally just a round ball. It's not like a golf ball with divot technology. I've always thought one of the big reason soccer was so popular world-wide was because it was the easier sport to get all the equipment for. All you need to play are shoes, a ball, something to shoot that ball at and maybe shin guards if you are feeling fancy. Now, on the biggest stage the game has, they've screwed up what should have been one of the last things they ever would have had to worry about. Honestly, who is in charge of this stuff?
Bands try and do this all the time, finding a singer who sounds enough like the original lead singer so they can keep on touring with the same songs. But I feel like bands underestimate how much impact the change makes during a concert. While the studio albums might still sound enough alike that you can pass them off on the radio, changing the face of the band in concert just doesn't work. I don't care if the rest of the lineup is the same, as long as they try to perform the old hits with a new singer it will always feel as though you are simply watching a cover band with a high production value. Why do you think that Aerosmith thought better of touring without Steven Tyler and Van Halen keeps reuniting with David Lee Roth, despite the fact that they clearly can't stand him?
Van Halen actually has shown both the right and the wrong way to change singers. The first time they hired Sammy Hagar and completely changed their style - a little more pop, not as much rock. Changing the style was a good attempt to show a clean break from the DLR days. But when Hagar left and they brought in Gary Charone, it just didn't work because they essentially tried to get him to sing as Hagar and Roth. That failed miserably. So, let that be a lesson to you bands out there - if you're going to make a change, go all the way. Just changing one thing is more cheesy than effective.
-I was reading a story on ESPN this morning about how a lot of the players in the upcoming World Cup are unhappy about the ball. This, of course, led me to have a question: how do you screw up a soccer ball? It is literally just a round ball. It's not like a golf ball with divot technology. I've always thought one of the big reason soccer was so popular world-wide was because it was the easier sport to get all the equipment for. All you need to play are shoes, a ball, something to shoot that ball at and maybe shin guards if you are feeling fancy. Now, on the biggest stage the game has, they've screwed up what should have been one of the last things they ever would have had to worry about. Honestly, who is in charge of this stuff?
Saturday, May 29, 2010
It's Probably Overkill
This week my family had a guy come up and clear out a section of the yard next to the driveway. It is pretty unbelievable how much space he opened up and it looks great. Now, the main reason we had someone else do the work instead of just doing it myself was that this section of lawn had visible poison ivy and the last thing I want is to have to make another emergency room trip because I'm itchy. The only thing is that there were two trees he left that just didn't belong and it was bothering the hell out of the perfectionist in me. So, after mowing the lawn this afternoon I decided to grab the alligator and bring the trees down myself. But, I wasn't about to risk another outbreak so I changed into jeans, a long sleeve shirt and high socks. Immediately after I finished, I took everything I was wearing and tossed it in the washing machine while I took a shower with the special Fels Naptha soap. Better safe than sorry. It was worth it, though, because now that space looks even better.
-So, in the past 24(ish) hours, both Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper have passed away. Obviously, I would never try to say that one death is more tragic than another. However... one of those people was in Hoosiers, and the other wasn't. That's all I wanted to point out.
-So, in the past 24(ish) hours, both Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper have passed away. Obviously, I would never try to say that one death is more tragic than another. However... one of those people was in Hoosiers, and the other wasn't. That's all I wanted to point out.
Friday, May 28, 2010
A Weeks Worth of Mini-Ramblings
-I'm trying to figure out how the biggest NBA free agents this year (LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Joe Johnson) are allowed to get together, discuss their collective futures and yet that is somehow not tampering. I mean, David Stern can and has fined owners for just saying a free agent's name before July 1st, but these guys can essentially get together, form a plan of how they will all end up on the same team and that's perfectly cool? By the way, mark me down now as someone who doesn't think Wade and James should be on the same team, because I think they both need the ball too much. They would be much better off pairing with either Johnson or Chris Bosh, because those guys would be much better second options who would be willing to defer to the big star.
-My biggest fear in tonight's Game 6 between the Magic and the Celtics is that the Magic will come out motivated, on fire and jump to a 10-point lead. If that were to happen I'm just afraid that the crowd will involuntarily start to tighten up and get quiet, which would lead the players to tighten up and start to realise what is at stake. Let's be honest: if the Celtics lose tonight they will lose Game 7. It's just one of those certainties that come along in sports. This is what happens when you have the chance to sweep a team and you let them up off the mat. They need to finish this team off tonight.
-So, Lindsey Lohan has asked a designer to make her new alcohol bracelet look pretty. Clearly this girl has her priorities in order. By the way, I hate that I even know this kind of stuff, but when it's the third story on the front page of Google News it's kind of hard to ignore.
-Yesterday it was announced that Ford is planning to stop making the Mercury line of cars and trucks following this year. That means that this is the last year of Mountaineers. While I'm kind of bummed that I'm now driving a truck that wasn't considered cool enough to continue, as long as Ford keeps making the Explorer then I'll be ok for any parts I need down the line. It's when they pull those off the road that I am in trouble.
-You know who I respect the hell out of? Michael Bay. When Megan Fox quit/got fired/left the production of Transformers 3 Bay didn't try and go out to hire a better actress. He didn't even hire an actress - he went with a Victoria's Secret model. He knows that role could be filled by any hot girl who can run away from explosions and pretend to see giant machines chasing her. No need to find some classically trained actress who will need to know what her motivation is before a scene. Bay knows he's not bringing Macbeth to the big screen. I can respect anyone with that level of self-awareness.
-There is nothing that makes you feel old faster than a scandal involving the lead singer of a musical group where you have never heard of her, her band or her music. You know, I used to care and know about current music, really I did.
-My biggest fear in tonight's Game 6 between the Magic and the Celtics is that the Magic will come out motivated, on fire and jump to a 10-point lead. If that were to happen I'm just afraid that the crowd will involuntarily start to tighten up and get quiet, which would lead the players to tighten up and start to realise what is at stake. Let's be honest: if the Celtics lose tonight they will lose Game 7. It's just one of those certainties that come along in sports. This is what happens when you have the chance to sweep a team and you let them up off the mat. They need to finish this team off tonight.
-So, Lindsey Lohan has asked a designer to make her new alcohol bracelet look pretty. Clearly this girl has her priorities in order. By the way, I hate that I even know this kind of stuff, but when it's the third story on the front page of Google News it's kind of hard to ignore.
-Yesterday it was announced that Ford is planning to stop making the Mercury line of cars and trucks following this year. That means that this is the last year of Mountaineers. While I'm kind of bummed that I'm now driving a truck that wasn't considered cool enough to continue, as long as Ford keeps making the Explorer then I'll be ok for any parts I need down the line. It's when they pull those off the road that I am in trouble.
-You know who I respect the hell out of? Michael Bay. When Megan Fox quit/got fired/left the production of Transformers 3 Bay didn't try and go out to hire a better actress. He didn't even hire an actress - he went with a Victoria's Secret model. He knows that role could be filled by any hot girl who can run away from explosions and pretend to see giant machines chasing her. No need to find some classically trained actress who will need to know what her motivation is before a scene. Bay knows he's not bringing Macbeth to the big screen. I can respect anyone with that level of self-awareness.
-There is nothing that makes you feel old faster than a scandal involving the lead singer of a musical group where you have never heard of her, her band or her music. You know, I used to care and know about current music, really I did.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Battery Revolt, Take Two
Last week when my mom's car battery and my truck's battery were both dead on the same day, I had hoped that mine was only in need of a jump, so I didn't get a new one that day. It did hold enough of a charge to start the next day, but it was once again dead by Saturday morning. Finally giving up the fight, I decided to change my battery this afternoon because, apparently, Thursday has become battery changing day around here. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the clamps around the towers came off much easier than when I had to change my mom's battery last week (serious, for all the crap I gave the directions on the back of the package, those corrosion preventors really work). Also, I found the right size ratchet right away and the bolt that was holding the battery in place seemed to start to come off without much trouble. "This is going very well!" I thought quietly to myself. That, as you could imagine, was a mistake because right after I thought that, the bolt snapped. It didn't even do me the courtesy of snapping in the middle and thus giving me enough of a target to grab onto. Instead it snapped just above the base surface that the battery sat on, so I couldn't even try to grab and turn it with pliers.
For those of you who have never tried to remove a broken bolt, it sucks. It's supposed to work like this: use a smaller drill bit to make a hole in the broken bolt, use a square bit to grip in the hole and slowly back the bolt out. It's a great idea in principle... until I quickly broke the two smallest bits. You see, we have one of those kits specifically made to remove broken bolts and screws, only, like most things in life, the one we have is not Rakauskas-grade. Clearly, it was meant to be operated only by those with a gentler touch. It was at this point I had to reverse field and tried to go through the bolt. Going up a couple sizes I was able to basically get the remainder of the bolt to be at least even with the surface, but from there the drill started to run out of juice. The only good news was that the down-time while waiting for the battery to re-charge was that I was able to really clean inside my engine, which is really only important to me. [Sidebar: As I was staring at the engine it occurred to me today that overall I've actually been very lucky with this car engine-wise. In the three years I have owned it I have never had to add any washer fluid, coolant or oil until today. When you consider how often I was checking the oil in my last truck, that fact astounds me.]
I then decided to just drill a new hole and find a new bolt, one task which was easier than the other. I actually found two bolts to use, but drilling the hole was a bit of an issue. I ended up putting a new hole on both sides of the old bolt, both of which were just off enough that securing the old battery to the base could not be the easy process that it should have been. But, the new battery eventually found its way in and while I still have to reset all my radio stations and the clock, at least it's all good for the time being. Just know that I am now on a deadline with this car, which expires when this battery does. Because once that battery goes it is going to be a hell of a problem to get back out.
For those of you who have never tried to remove a broken bolt, it sucks. It's supposed to work like this: use a smaller drill bit to make a hole in the broken bolt, use a square bit to grip in the hole and slowly back the bolt out. It's a great idea in principle... until I quickly broke the two smallest bits. You see, we have one of those kits specifically made to remove broken bolts and screws, only, like most things in life, the one we have is not Rakauskas-grade. Clearly, it was meant to be operated only by those with a gentler touch. It was at this point I had to reverse field and tried to go through the bolt. Going up a couple sizes I was able to basically get the remainder of the bolt to be at least even with the surface, but from there the drill started to run out of juice. The only good news was that the down-time while waiting for the battery to re-charge was that I was able to really clean inside my engine, which is really only important to me. [Sidebar: As I was staring at the engine it occurred to me today that overall I've actually been very lucky with this car engine-wise. In the three years I have owned it I have never had to add any washer fluid, coolant or oil until today. When you consider how often I was checking the oil in my last truck, that fact astounds me.]
I then decided to just drill a new hole and find a new bolt, one task which was easier than the other. I actually found two bolts to use, but drilling the hole was a bit of an issue. I ended up putting a new hole on both sides of the old bolt, both of which were just off enough that securing the old battery to the base could not be the easy process that it should have been. But, the new battery eventually found its way in and while I still have to reset all my radio stations and the clock, at least it's all good for the time being. Just know that I am now on a deadline with this car, which expires when this battery does. Because once that battery goes it is going to be a hell of a problem to get back out.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
It's Not A Tumor
For the last couple of weeks, the area around my left elbow has been bothering me with what I think is some kind of nerve or muscle thing. It's not bad, but basically I get the pins-and-needles feeling once in a while and it's kind of annoying. I'm not a doctor, but I would guess it's because I don't sit ergonomically and lean my forearms on the edge of my desk when I type. There is probably a better way to sit so I could avoid this problem and I'm trying to be conscious of that. In the mean time, I wanted to see if I could find any kind of treatment online to alleviate the symptoms and so I went to WebMD to find out what the technical name for this ailment might be.
I had heard about people who are obsessed with WebMD becoming severe hypochondriacs, but until I visited for myself I never knew the reason - it's because WebMD automatically goes to the worst possible scenario. Now, occasionally I'm sure that works out. Just a couple weeks ago a pitcher for the San Diego Padres self-diagnosed himself with appendicitis using WebMD. Still, the site is like that friend everyone has that assumes the worst every single time. I was on the symptom checker (which, despite my problems, is kind of a cool little program) and had the following exchange with my computer:
WebMD: What is the problem area?
Me: Left arm.
WebMD: You're having a heart attack. Get to a hospital.
Me: I am not having a heart attack.
WebMD: What are your symptoms?
Me: Sort of a tingling sensation.
WebMD: Told you, heart attack. Get to a hospital.
Me: It is not a heart attack.
WebMD: Is the pain only in one arm?
Me: Yes.
WebMD: Oh, you're having a stroke then. Get to a hospital.
Me: I'm not having a stroke. Strokes don't go away by stretching. Plus, it's only in my elbow.
WebMD: Could be a blood clot.
Me: I doubt it. I think it's more like a pinched nerve or something.
WebMD: Does the pain ever travel?
Me: Eh, occasionally up to my tricep.
WebMD: Well, my money is still on stroke. But it could be a severe nerve disorder. Maybe you have MS!
Me: What's with the exclamation point? It makes you seem almost excited at that thought.
WebMD: Of course not. It's concerned excitement. Just want you to have all the options.
Me: Any other suggestions?
WebMD: Umm... Lyme disease, lead poisoning, spinal stenosis.
Me: No, no and no.
WebMD: Oh, I'm sorry. Where did you get your medical degree from?
Me: Look, I just think it's something more common.
WebMD: Fine, do you play sports?
Me: Yeah, I golf.
WebMD: Is your swing bad?
Me: Terrible.
WebMD: It's probably golfer's elbow.
Me: That's a thing?
WebMD: Yeah. It's like tennis elbow. Treatment is ice, rest, see a doctor if the pain persists, blah, blah, blah... BOR-RING!
Me: Well, that seems much more likely.
WebMD: My money is still on heart attack.
Me: If it's all the same to you, I'm gonna go with ice, Advil and rest.
WebMD: Whatever. You're going to be dead soon.
Alright, fine, I made that last part up. But, you get my point. Not every medical problem needs to turn into an episode of House. Perhaps the program could be tweaked to list more common ailments first. I feel like it would save a lot of people unneeded stress.
I had heard about people who are obsessed with WebMD becoming severe hypochondriacs, but until I visited for myself I never knew the reason - it's because WebMD automatically goes to the worst possible scenario. Now, occasionally I'm sure that works out. Just a couple weeks ago a pitcher for the San Diego Padres self-diagnosed himself with appendicitis using WebMD. Still, the site is like that friend everyone has that assumes the worst every single time. I was on the symptom checker (which, despite my problems, is kind of a cool little program) and had the following exchange with my computer:
WebMD: What is the problem area?
Me: Left arm.
WebMD: You're having a heart attack. Get to a hospital.
Me: I am not having a heart attack.
WebMD: What are your symptoms?
Me: Sort of a tingling sensation.
WebMD: Told you, heart attack. Get to a hospital.
Me: It is not a heart attack.
WebMD: Is the pain only in one arm?
Me: Yes.
WebMD: Oh, you're having a stroke then. Get to a hospital.
Me: I'm not having a stroke. Strokes don't go away by stretching. Plus, it's only in my elbow.
WebMD: Could be a blood clot.
Me: I doubt it. I think it's more like a pinched nerve or something.
WebMD: Does the pain ever travel?
Me: Eh, occasionally up to my tricep.
WebMD: Well, my money is still on stroke. But it could be a severe nerve disorder. Maybe you have MS!
Me: What's with the exclamation point? It makes you seem almost excited at that thought.
WebMD: Of course not. It's concerned excitement. Just want you to have all the options.
Me: Any other suggestions?
WebMD: Umm... Lyme disease, lead poisoning, spinal stenosis.
Me: No, no and no.
WebMD: Oh, I'm sorry. Where did you get your medical degree from?
Me: Look, I just think it's something more common.
WebMD: Fine, do you play sports?
Me: Yeah, I golf.
WebMD: Is your swing bad?
Me: Terrible.
WebMD: It's probably golfer's elbow.
Me: That's a thing?
WebMD: Yeah. It's like tennis elbow. Treatment is ice, rest, see a doctor if the pain persists, blah, blah, blah... BOR-RING!
Me: Well, that seems much more likely.
WebMD: My money is still on heart attack.
Me: If it's all the same to you, I'm gonna go with ice, Advil and rest.
WebMD: Whatever. You're going to be dead soon.
Alright, fine, I made that last part up. But, you get my point. Not every medical problem needs to turn into an episode of House. Perhaps the program could be tweaked to list more common ailments first. I feel like it would save a lot of people unneeded stress.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Where Should I Send My Application?
Late this afternoon the NFL announced the location for the 2014 Super Bowl (they like to plan ahead). As expected by the people who are in the know, the announcement was the Super Bowl is going to be held in the new football stadium that is currently going up in East Rutherford, New Jersey. While it's not uncommon for sports leagues to reward teams that build new stadiums with either All-Star or championship games, this is kind of a big deal because it would mark the first time that a neutral field Super Bowl is being played in a cold weather city, in a stadium with no roof. (It is also a pretty big 'screw you' to the people of Kansas City, because they petitioned the league for a Super Bowl a couple years ago and were told the only way they would ever get the game was to put a retractable roof over Arrowhead Stadium. So much for consistency on the part of the Commissioner's office.)
I can not tell you how bad of an idea I think this is. For the last couple of days I've heard various sports writers talk about how this could be great, because it's the way football is meant to be played - in the cold and in the snow. Also, they think that a snow-filled Super Bowl would be the highest rated football game ever. Yes, that's well and good if they were to get that light, fluffy snow-globe effect snow and the game looked like a Hollywood movie ending. The thing is, I actually live in the northeast and I'm willing to bet that if they did get any weather in early February it would be of the cold, sleet/rain mix variety that no one enjoys. The players probably wouldn't have any problem with it (though, we'll get to that in a second), but the bigger issue is that the corporate people who make up most of the Super Bowl crowd these days will definitely not want to sit in that kind of weather. Having worked with the high end crowd for two years, I would never think to label them as a hearty bunch. Expect a lot of hiding out in the concourses. Also can you imagine a halftime show in the sleet? They're having a hard enough time getting good acts as it is.
Now, as for the players, yeah, they could obviously play in it, but why would you want to make them? No one wants to talk about it, because the sports media try and turn every Super Bowl into some kind of American folk tale as soon as the final whistle blows, but the rain Super Bowl between Indianapolis and the Bears a couple years back was an awful, awful game. And that was just rain in Miami. Imagine if finesse teams like the Colts and the Saints had tried to play this year's game in a snow storm? It would have been 7-6 midway through the fourth quarter and everyone would have spent the next week and a half complaining that we didn't get the offensive explosion we all wanted to see because those teams never had to play in the cold all season long. The NFL likes to talk about how big and bad their teams are, but if you stop and think about it a good number of the NFL teams in the northern part of the US are actually in domes. Making teams that have either played indoors or in warm weather all season suddenly play outside in the cold could make for a lot of dropped passes and sloppy play. Not exactly what you want to be putting out to a world-wide audience.
Honestly, the Super Bowl is great the way it is. Keep it in the warm weather and let that not only serve as a reward for the players for a good year, but is also going to be a better draw for casual fans (ask yourself if you really think Dolphins fans would want to come to New York in February... half of them are New York transplants who left because of the weather). You're going to get better play when weather isn't a factor. I know that the NFL doesn't want to ignore the biggest media market in the world, but they should have made the Giants and Jets put a roof on the new place. Also, I hate to break it to the other owners of cold weather, open-air stadiums, but I highly doubt this is going to start a trend (sorry, Bob Kraft, but I wouldn't count of bringing the Super Bowl to Foxboro).
Much like I told the NCAA not to mess with March Madness, I feel like the NFL should listen to me when it comes to making decision like this. That is why I think I should be hired as the new sports Uber-Commissioner. Think of me as the reality-check guy when someone has a bad idea that wrongly gets momentum behind it. I would get us a BCS playoff, keep March Madness from further expansion and limit the Super Bowl to a five-city rotation. Call me, guys, I've got lots of ideas for you to start working on.
I can not tell you how bad of an idea I think this is. For the last couple of days I've heard various sports writers talk about how this could be great, because it's the way football is meant to be played - in the cold and in the snow. Also, they think that a snow-filled Super Bowl would be the highest rated football game ever. Yes, that's well and good if they were to get that light, fluffy snow-globe effect snow and the game looked like a Hollywood movie ending. The thing is, I actually live in the northeast and I'm willing to bet that if they did get any weather in early February it would be of the cold, sleet/rain mix variety that no one enjoys. The players probably wouldn't have any problem with it (though, we'll get to that in a second), but the bigger issue is that the corporate people who make up most of the Super Bowl crowd these days will definitely not want to sit in that kind of weather. Having worked with the high end crowd for two years, I would never think to label them as a hearty bunch. Expect a lot of hiding out in the concourses. Also can you imagine a halftime show in the sleet? They're having a hard enough time getting good acts as it is.
Now, as for the players, yeah, they could obviously play in it, but why would you want to make them? No one wants to talk about it, because the sports media try and turn every Super Bowl into some kind of American folk tale as soon as the final whistle blows, but the rain Super Bowl between Indianapolis and the Bears a couple years back was an awful, awful game. And that was just rain in Miami. Imagine if finesse teams like the Colts and the Saints had tried to play this year's game in a snow storm? It would have been 7-6 midway through the fourth quarter and everyone would have spent the next week and a half complaining that we didn't get the offensive explosion we all wanted to see because those teams never had to play in the cold all season long. The NFL likes to talk about how big and bad their teams are, but if you stop and think about it a good number of the NFL teams in the northern part of the US are actually in domes. Making teams that have either played indoors or in warm weather all season suddenly play outside in the cold could make for a lot of dropped passes and sloppy play. Not exactly what you want to be putting out to a world-wide audience.
Honestly, the Super Bowl is great the way it is. Keep it in the warm weather and let that not only serve as a reward for the players for a good year, but is also going to be a better draw for casual fans (ask yourself if you really think Dolphins fans would want to come to New York in February... half of them are New York transplants who left because of the weather). You're going to get better play when weather isn't a factor. I know that the NFL doesn't want to ignore the biggest media market in the world, but they should have made the Giants and Jets put a roof on the new place. Also, I hate to break it to the other owners of cold weather, open-air stadiums, but I highly doubt this is going to start a trend (sorry, Bob Kraft, but I wouldn't count of bringing the Super Bowl to Foxboro).
Much like I told the NCAA not to mess with March Madness, I feel like the NFL should listen to me when it comes to making decision like this. That is why I think I should be hired as the new sports Uber-Commissioner. Think of me as the reality-check guy when someone has a bad idea that wrongly gets momentum behind it. I would get us a BCS playoff, keep March Madness from further expansion and limit the Super Bowl to a five-city rotation. Call me, guys, I've got lots of ideas for you to start working on.
Monday, May 24, 2010
What Is The Motivation?
Whenever I go to a sporting event, I expect to see a fair amount of the other team's fans wearing the visiting team apparel. I can even roll with wearing the jersey of a team in a different sport, but at least from the same city, because you have still declared a side. But, during the Celtics' game the other night, the Jumbotron (and subsequently the national broadcast) showed a couple fans in the stands wearing Lakers gear. For those of you who don't follow basketball, the Celtics are currently playing the Magic. Now, I'm sure that these two just like to get attention anyway they can and in that spectrum they succeeded. I can only hope the beating they got once they left the stadium from the drunk crew of Sully, Murphy, Sully, Sully and O'Doyle was totally worth being on TV for 25 seconds. (Seriously, one of them was wearing one of those awful half home/half away jerseys. That alone is worth a punch to the ribs.) While I understand that the Lakers and Celtics are long-time rivals, I have never understood the practice of wearing the jersey of a team that is not involved in the game you are attending. When I worked at Gillette Stadium there was a guy who always wore a Giants jersey, no matter who the Patriots were against. It never failed to vex me.
The way I can figure it, there are only 5 reasons you could ever justify wearing the jersey of an uninvolved third team to a sporting event. They are as follows:
-It's a brand new player's old team jersey. If your team recently acquired a star player from another team and they haven't started to mass-produced his new jersey yet, you can get away with wearing his old one. However, this is voided after a period of one offseason, so no more Kevin Garnett Timberwolf jerseys.
-A retired Hall of Fame player is now coaching another team. For example, if there was a Knick fan living in Boston when Patrick Ewing inevitably gets his first coaching job with another team, I would allow him coming to the Fleetcenter in a Knick jersey to show support for one of the greatest players in franchise history. But, it has to be an all-time great. Rocking a Celtic jersey because Rick Carlisle is now the coach is pushing it.
-It's the college jersey of a star player's Alma mater. This one pushes the boundaries, but I'll allow it. If you want to wear a Kentucky jersey to a John Wall game I guess that makes some level of sense. I mean, I wouldn't do it, but then again, I wouldn't do a lot of things sports fans want to do.
-You plan to use the jersey as a giant middle finger to the other team's fan. In this regard, wearing a Giants jersey to a Patriots game is a master stroke. Let's face it, Patriots fans still have very few comebacks for "18-1". However, I don't give that guy credit, because the Super Bowl hadn't happened yet.
-You're a tourist from a far away land. You know nothing of this sport you are watching and this was the only jersey you could find. Even then, the people you are travelling with should know better.
The way I can figure it, there are only 5 reasons you could ever justify wearing the jersey of an uninvolved third team to a sporting event. They are as follows:
-It's a brand new player's old team jersey. If your team recently acquired a star player from another team and they haven't started to mass-produced his new jersey yet, you can get away with wearing his old one. However, this is voided after a period of one offseason, so no more Kevin Garnett Timberwolf jerseys.
-A retired Hall of Fame player is now coaching another team. For example, if there was a Knick fan living in Boston when Patrick Ewing inevitably gets his first coaching job with another team, I would allow him coming to the Fleetcenter in a Knick jersey to show support for one of the greatest players in franchise history. But, it has to be an all-time great. Rocking a Celtic jersey because Rick Carlisle is now the coach is pushing it.
-It's the college jersey of a star player's Alma mater. This one pushes the boundaries, but I'll allow it. If you want to wear a Kentucky jersey to a John Wall game I guess that makes some level of sense. I mean, I wouldn't do it, but then again, I wouldn't do a lot of things sports fans want to do.
-You plan to use the jersey as a giant middle finger to the other team's fan. In this regard, wearing a Giants jersey to a Patriots game is a master stroke. Let's face it, Patriots fans still have very few comebacks for "18-1". However, I don't give that guy credit, because the Super Bowl hadn't happened yet.
-You're a tourist from a far away land. You know nothing of this sport you are watching and this was the only jersey you could find. Even then, the people you are travelling with should know better.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Internet Extremes
About a year ago the handle for the back hatch on my truck broke. I don't think the locking mechanism itself is an issue but when you pull on it, it just feels as though the handle is no longer connected to anything. I've had to let it linger because I just haven't had the cash to get it fixed, plus it's not all that inconvenient because I can still load and unload through the back window, which works just fine. However, I had a free Saturday and I decided that I didn't want to live with it anymore (being able to open the door does make loading and unloading golf clubs a lot easier). I went online and started looking around to see if anyone else had a similar issue. While not very common, it had happened to enough other people that it was discussed online and those sites were nice enough to detail how they tried to fix it. What I noticed, however, was the way that a lot of people described the repair process. Everyone who commented said it was either the hardest thing ever or a such a simple job their children could have done it. While I ended up leaning more towards the "difficult" end of the spectrum (my latch still isn't fixed), I think the way people were only at the extremes summed up the Internet very nicely.
It seems like people who are willing to comment on the Internet are never lukewarm on subjects. Everything was either the best ever, or the worst invention ever. You can really see it if you ever want a product review. I was looking for a new webcam and none of the reviews were ever along the lines of, "not bad for what you pay." Everything was either, "best webcam ever" or "giant waste of time and money." My father has recently come to this same conclusion in his quest for the perfect swingset for the nieces, because all the reviews he can find are either that the set went up without a hitch or that it came crashing down soon after construction was completed. The old saying I learned from my days in retail was called the 7-11 ratio, in that if people had good customer service they would tell 7 people at the absolute most, but if one thing was wrong they would tell 11 people to tell 11 more people. I guess with the Internet the need to tell people directly is all gone. It was effective though, because I'm still on the hunt for a new webcam.
-I have to say that my least-favorite part about the NBA playoffs (other than the time off between games) is that the celebrity 'fans' who have a movie to sell come out of the woodwork and take the good seats away from the fans who have been there all season long. For example, I have no doubt that we are one Celtic win away from Matt Damon being courtside, even though he hasn't been seen at a game since the last time the Celtics were in the Finals two years ago. At yesterday's Celtic game Jake Gyllenhaal was sitting courtside, in what I do not doubt were seats he did not have to pay for. He predicted a Celtic/Lakers final with the Lakers winning. I feel like we should all listen to him. After all, this was the guy who read the script for Prince of Persia and said "This movie must be made!" Who are we to question a guy with that kind of decision making skills?
It seems like people who are willing to comment on the Internet are never lukewarm on subjects. Everything was either the best ever, or the worst invention ever. You can really see it if you ever want a product review. I was looking for a new webcam and none of the reviews were ever along the lines of, "not bad for what you pay." Everything was either, "best webcam ever" or "giant waste of time and money." My father has recently come to this same conclusion in his quest for the perfect swingset for the nieces, because all the reviews he can find are either that the set went up without a hitch or that it came crashing down soon after construction was completed. The old saying I learned from my days in retail was called the 7-11 ratio, in that if people had good customer service they would tell 7 people at the absolute most, but if one thing was wrong they would tell 11 people to tell 11 more people. I guess with the Internet the need to tell people directly is all gone. It was effective though, because I'm still on the hunt for a new webcam.
-I have to say that my least-favorite part about the NBA playoffs (other than the time off between games) is that the celebrity 'fans' who have a movie to sell come out of the woodwork and take the good seats away from the fans who have been there all season long. For example, I have no doubt that we are one Celtic win away from Matt Damon being courtside, even though he hasn't been seen at a game since the last time the Celtics were in the Finals two years ago. At yesterday's Celtic game Jake Gyllenhaal was sitting courtside, in what I do not doubt were seats he did not have to pay for. He predicted a Celtic/Lakers final with the Lakers winning. I feel like we should all listen to him. After all, this was the guy who read the script for Prince of Persia and said "This movie must be made!" Who are we to question a guy with that kind of decision making skills?
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Five Thoughts On A Saturday
-So, who knew that Kevin Costner was going to be the guy to step up to try and solve the oil spill? Apparently Costner has spent about $24 million of his own money to hire scientists to work on a machine that separates oil and water, solving just this kind of crisis. Frankly, I don't even care if his idea is all that great, at least he wants to try something new. Also, anything that will distract him long enough to prevent making the proposed Bull Durham sequel is alright in my eyes.
-We're officially entering the stage of his career when I like David Ortiz a little bit less every time he opens his mouth. When the positive steroid tests came to light every Red Sox fan made excuses and pointed out that MLB's own lawyer was at his side during his press conference, something none of the other people who popped positive could claim. We offered alternative reasons for his poor start last year and stayed with him when most fan bases would have bailed already. With another slow start this season fans started to get impatient, but most were willing to trust Francona to know when to make the switch and thought Ortiz had earned the time to try and break his slump. But, when he goes on the radio and essentially throws Francona under the bus for pitch hitting for him in Toronto and then says all the people who turned on him should shut up because, "They've never swung the bat at this level" that is when he loses me. Last year, Francona stuck with Ortiz a lot longer than he probably should have, so his loyalty to David deserved more respect than that. Also, the "you never played at this level" comeback is the laziest and cry-babiest excuse any pro athlete ever uses. You know when they fall back on that it's because they can't think of an actual excuse as to why they are playing so badly.
-I was flipping around the other night and paused briefly on the E! Channel. They were showing the movie, The Craft, under the headline of "Movies We Love." Oh, E! Channel, you don't have to lie to me. You don't love The Craft. No one loves the movie The Craft. Even the stars of The Craft don't love it. Instead of lying to us, just call the movie block what it actually is: "Movies would could get the rights to cheaply, so we don't have to show more repeats of The Soup."
-Yesterday I was talking about how bad my handwriting is. Well, the only thing I do worse than write is draw pictures. But, at least I know I am terrible and don't try to draw for a living. The other day as I was putting the new battery in my mom's car, I was opening a package of corrosion arrestors, those little pieces of felt that go around the towers. The drawings on the back of the package were the worst things I have ever seen. Illustrations are supposed to be there in case the person can't read or follow the directions, but as near as I can tell these drawings were just telling you to cover the battery with your hand. If you ever buy a package of these things I suggest you take the time to read the back, because if you just try and follow the pictures it will not work out for you.
-At the PGA Tour stop this weekend in Dallas, a local 16 year-old high school junior named Jordan Spieth not only qualified to play, but made the cut and was in the top-10. On Friday, his high school gave his fellow students the day off so that they could go to the tournament and support him. Now, I liked a lot of kids I went to high school with, but if I was given a free Friday off out of the blue, I am highly doubtful that I would have wanted to spend it following a classmate around the golf course. I hope any teachers there took attendance, because my guess is that a lot of kids instead spent the day at the mall.
-We're officially entering the stage of his career when I like David Ortiz a little bit less every time he opens his mouth. When the positive steroid tests came to light every Red Sox fan made excuses and pointed out that MLB's own lawyer was at his side during his press conference, something none of the other people who popped positive could claim. We offered alternative reasons for his poor start last year and stayed with him when most fan bases would have bailed already. With another slow start this season fans started to get impatient, but most were willing to trust Francona to know when to make the switch and thought Ortiz had earned the time to try and break his slump. But, when he goes on the radio and essentially throws Francona under the bus for pitch hitting for him in Toronto and then says all the people who turned on him should shut up because, "They've never swung the bat at this level" that is when he loses me. Last year, Francona stuck with Ortiz a lot longer than he probably should have, so his loyalty to David deserved more respect than that. Also, the "you never played at this level" comeback is the laziest and cry-babiest excuse any pro athlete ever uses. You know when they fall back on that it's because they can't think of an actual excuse as to why they are playing so badly.
-I was flipping around the other night and paused briefly on the E! Channel. They were showing the movie, The Craft, under the headline of "Movies We Love." Oh, E! Channel, you don't have to lie to me. You don't love The Craft. No one loves the movie The Craft. Even the stars of The Craft don't love it. Instead of lying to us, just call the movie block what it actually is: "Movies would could get the rights to cheaply, so we don't have to show more repeats of The Soup."
-Yesterday I was talking about how bad my handwriting is. Well, the only thing I do worse than write is draw pictures. But, at least I know I am terrible and don't try to draw for a living. The other day as I was putting the new battery in my mom's car, I was opening a package of corrosion arrestors, those little pieces of felt that go around the towers. The drawings on the back of the package were the worst things I have ever seen. Illustrations are supposed to be there in case the person can't read or follow the directions, but as near as I can tell these drawings were just telling you to cover the battery with your hand. If you ever buy a package of these things I suggest you take the time to read the back, because if you just try and follow the pictures it will not work out for you.
-At the PGA Tour stop this weekend in Dallas, a local 16 year-old high school junior named Jordan Spieth not only qualified to play, but made the cut and was in the top-10. On Friday, his high school gave his fellow students the day off so that they could go to the tournament and support him. Now, I liked a lot of kids I went to high school with, but if I was given a free Friday off out of the blue, I am highly doubtful that I would have wanted to spend it following a classmate around the golf course. I hope any teachers there took attendance, because my guess is that a lot of kids instead spent the day at the mall.
Friday, May 21, 2010
I Need A Secretary
I know my handwriting is horrible. Believe me, it has been brought to my attention. If it wasn't clear from the teacher in high school who refused to let me write out my essays in those little blue books, instead making me go next door to the computer lab to type out my thoughts on Shakespeare, then I would have still figured it out from the fact that I once got the pinkie finger on my writing hand caught in a car door the night before the English SAT2s (which featured multiple essay questions), didn't have time to get my finger looked at, had to write essentially holding my pencil with two fingers and yet my handwriting looked exactly the same. The time I tried to write a heart-felt love note to my girlfriend in a Valentine's Day card, only she had to pause to ask me "What word is this?" three or four times was also a helpful hint. I get it, I should have been a doctor. Still, I always said that no matter the problems that anyone else was having with it, at least I could read my own scribbles.
Unfortunately, that streak has to end today. Like most people who fancy themselves as writers, I like to keep a notepad near me. I use it to frequently jot down blog post ideas as they pop into me head so that I have something to ramble about on a day when nothing else comes to mind. Before today I had never had a problem reading my own handwriting or whatever shorthand I wrote triggering the memory of what I wanted to write about. For example, I just have "Skype" on one of the lines and I know exactly what that post is meant to be about. But, what I wanted to write about today is a complete mystery. As near as I can tell my note says "iPod Entil." I couldn't even wager a guess as to what that means. Making this worse is that I wrote that note yesterday. So, not only is my handwriting bad, but my memory is shit. I tried going over yesterday's browsing history to see if that would help me remember what it was supposed to be, but I got nothing. I didn't even use my iPod yesterday. I bought new ear buds, but that is neither funny nor interesting enough to warrant an entire post. It might say iPad, but I don't have one and don't really have an opinion on them, so I doubt that is it. I don't have a clue what I wanted to say. I can only hope it was neither that funny or interesting.
-Did you see Floyd Landis come out yesterday and declare that despite years and years of denial he had, in fact, been cheating from pretty much the moment he picked up a bicycle? And, oh yeah, Lance Armstrong taught him to do it and is a huge cheater as well. Now, there are people out there who want to praise Floyd and his decision to come clean because they say he had nothing to gain at this point. I, on the other hand, contend that he is only doing this now because he already sold his book in which he said he never cheated, has lost every appeal he has at his disposal so he will never get his Tour de France win back and thinks that a confession book may yield him some money. At this point he figured he's going down, so why not take as many people down with him as he can? The question is whether or not you believe him about Armstrong, because no one really cares that Landis cheated. I have to say that, unfortunately, I kind of do. I just find it impossible to believe that, in a sport where everyone seems to be doping all the time, one guy was not only clean for 7 years, but able to beat all the guys who were juicing. Of course, Armstrong has never tested positive, which is a claim Landis can not make. But, if it comes out that he did cheat I wouldn't be anywhere near the realm of surprised. I'm just going to need someone with a lot less of an axe to grind than Landis before I fully believe it (and no, a France doping agency isn't going to cut it either).
Unfortunately, that streak has to end today. Like most people who fancy themselves as writers, I like to keep a notepad near me. I use it to frequently jot down blog post ideas as they pop into me head so that I have something to ramble about on a day when nothing else comes to mind. Before today I had never had a problem reading my own handwriting or whatever shorthand I wrote triggering the memory of what I wanted to write about. For example, I just have "Skype" on one of the lines and I know exactly what that post is meant to be about. But, what I wanted to write about today is a complete mystery. As near as I can tell my note says "iPod Entil." I couldn't even wager a guess as to what that means. Making this worse is that I wrote that note yesterday. So, not only is my handwriting bad, but my memory is shit. I tried going over yesterday's browsing history to see if that would help me remember what it was supposed to be, but I got nothing. I didn't even use my iPod yesterday. I bought new ear buds, but that is neither funny nor interesting enough to warrant an entire post. It might say iPad, but I don't have one and don't really have an opinion on them, so I doubt that is it. I don't have a clue what I wanted to say. I can only hope it was neither that funny or interesting.
-Did you see Floyd Landis come out yesterday and declare that despite years and years of denial he had, in fact, been cheating from pretty much the moment he picked up a bicycle? And, oh yeah, Lance Armstrong taught him to do it and is a huge cheater as well. Now, there are people out there who want to praise Floyd and his decision to come clean because they say he had nothing to gain at this point. I, on the other hand, contend that he is only doing this now because he already sold his book in which he said he never cheated, has lost every appeal he has at his disposal so he will never get his Tour de France win back and thinks that a confession book may yield him some money. At this point he figured he's going down, so why not take as many people down with him as he can? The question is whether or not you believe him about Armstrong, because no one really cares that Landis cheated. I have to say that, unfortunately, I kind of do. I just find it impossible to believe that, in a sport where everyone seems to be doping all the time, one guy was not only clean for 7 years, but able to beat all the guys who were juicing. Of course, Armstrong has never tested positive, which is a claim Landis can not make. But, if it comes out that he did cheat I wouldn't be anywhere near the realm of surprised. I'm just going to need someone with a lot less of an axe to grind than Landis before I fully believe it (and no, a France doping agency isn't going to cut it either).
Thursday, May 20, 2010
A Battery Revolt
This morning I was actually looking forward to the errands I was going to do today just because it was such a beautiful day: sunny, mid-70s, slight breeze. Perfect. I was looking forward to opening up my sunroof and cruising with my windows down. The problem began when I went out to start my car this morning and it just wouldn't turn over. The radio would come on, the dash would light up, but I just couldn't get enough juice to get my engine going. I assumed I would just need a quick jump to get me going, only the jumper cables were still in my brother's truck from when his battery kicked about a month ago. No matter, my dad's truck was readily available and I was able to take his vehicle to get my stuff done.
When my brother got home I got the cables out of his truck but didn't jump my truck right away because, let's face it, I don't really have anywhere important to be. When my mom got home from her meetings I thought about jumping off her car, but figured it could wait until she got home from her various running around. Only when she went to start her car nothing happened. No noise coming from the engine, but a distinct clicking noise coming from under the hood. For all I know about engines, it may have been the magic gnomes that make cars start trying to signal us in morse code. It was actually the fuse box making all this noise so I assumed it was an electrical problem. A quick check of all the fuses turned up nothing. We tried cleaning off the towers and connections, but the car still wouldn't even make a noise. Let's take a moment to review the situation: three cars in the driveway, only one that would start. We were a Jeff Foxworthy joke in the making.
We tried jumping my mom's car off my dad's truck and it still wouldn't start. At this point we figured since the cables were out we may as well jump my truck, which started with little problem. My father decided that we just didn't have a good connection when we tried to jump my mom's car and we tried again. After charging it for a few minutes we managed to get the car started, only then something I've never seen before happened: we decided to let the engine run for a couple minutes to see if the battery would hold a charge, but when my dad disconnected the cables from the battery my mom's car just shut off. That is how dead my mom's battery was - it couldn't even run on it own. It was extra odd because she had just driven home from work without a hitch or any indication the car was having an issue. At this point we gave up the fight and after a quick trip to the autoparts store and an even quicker battery replacement (we're getting quite good at doing those around here) it appears all is right in the driveway once again. At least, as long as my truck starts tomorrow.
Either way, it should be pointed out that the MVP of the driveway is my dad's truck which, despite being the oldest vehicle here, was the one that managed to give juice to all the others around it.
When my brother got home I got the cables out of his truck but didn't jump my truck right away because, let's face it, I don't really have anywhere important to be. When my mom got home from her meetings I thought about jumping off her car, but figured it could wait until she got home from her various running around. Only when she went to start her car nothing happened. No noise coming from the engine, but a distinct clicking noise coming from under the hood. For all I know about engines, it may have been the magic gnomes that make cars start trying to signal us in morse code. It was actually the fuse box making all this noise so I assumed it was an electrical problem. A quick check of all the fuses turned up nothing. We tried cleaning off the towers and connections, but the car still wouldn't even make a noise. Let's take a moment to review the situation: three cars in the driveway, only one that would start. We were a Jeff Foxworthy joke in the making.
We tried jumping my mom's car off my dad's truck and it still wouldn't start. At this point we figured since the cables were out we may as well jump my truck, which started with little problem. My father decided that we just didn't have a good connection when we tried to jump my mom's car and we tried again. After charging it for a few minutes we managed to get the car started, only then something I've never seen before happened: we decided to let the engine run for a couple minutes to see if the battery would hold a charge, but when my dad disconnected the cables from the battery my mom's car just shut off. That is how dead my mom's battery was - it couldn't even run on it own. It was extra odd because she had just driven home from work without a hitch or any indication the car was having an issue. At this point we gave up the fight and after a quick trip to the autoparts store and an even quicker battery replacement (we're getting quite good at doing those around here) it appears all is right in the driveway once again. At least, as long as my truck starts tomorrow.
Either way, it should be pointed out that the MVP of the driveway is my dad's truck which, despite being the oldest vehicle here, was the one that managed to give juice to all the others around it.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Everything Is Better In Cartoon Form
Honestly, if I could find a guy who would quick-draw my ramblings I would totally do that instead of typing something out everyday. I feel like it's much easier to tell a story when you've got the cartoon ready to go so you don't have to spend time on the visual setup like you do when telling a story on paper. Not sure how I would animate my sports ramblings, though. Here's Shrewsbury's own Mike Birbiglia to show you what I mean.
-Very happy that the Washington Wizards won the NBA Draft Lottery, because they are one of those teams I want to do well until they play the Celtics. Also, it screwed over the New Jersey Nets a little and that also makes me happy. While I'm not all that sold on John Wall and not sure about the quality of this draft overall, I think the best thing the Wizards can do to at least maximize their chances that Wall succeeds is to get him as far away from Gilbert Arenas as possible. The last thing you want your potential franchise player doing is learning how to be a professional from Arenas, who still hasn't figured it out after nine seasons. Really, there was a reason you saw the Cleveland Cavaliers ship a guy like Ricky Davis out as fast as they could once they drafted LeBron James (unfortunately, they shipped him to the Celtics). You want the guys that just don't get it to be as far away from the young, impressionable superstar as you can manage. I don't care how talented Arenas may still be (and that is yet another debate), you're not going to win in the next couple of years anyway. You want Wall to be a long-term professional into the next decade, so the short-term plan should be shipping Arenas to whomever loses out on the crop of free agents this summer. Don't worry about getting talent or money back for him, just know getting him away from your franchise will be compensation enough.
-Very happy that the Washington Wizards won the NBA Draft Lottery, because they are one of those teams I want to do well until they play the Celtics. Also, it screwed over the New Jersey Nets a little and that also makes me happy. While I'm not all that sold on John Wall and not sure about the quality of this draft overall, I think the best thing the Wizards can do to at least maximize their chances that Wall succeeds is to get him as far away from Gilbert Arenas as possible. The last thing you want your potential franchise player doing is learning how to be a professional from Arenas, who still hasn't figured it out after nine seasons. Really, there was a reason you saw the Cleveland Cavaliers ship a guy like Ricky Davis out as fast as they could once they drafted LeBron James (unfortunately, they shipped him to the Celtics). You want the guys that just don't get it to be as far away from the young, impressionable superstar as you can manage. I don't care how talented Arenas may still be (and that is yet another debate), you're not going to win in the next couple of years anyway. You want Wall to be a long-term professional into the next decade, so the short-term plan should be shipping Arenas to whomever loses out on the crop of free agents this summer. Don't worry about getting talent or money back for him, just know getting him away from your franchise will be compensation enough.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Fan Ramblings
One of the aspects that constantly annoys me as a real NBA fan is that it always feels like the current season is irrelevant. Because there are so many games it leaves very little chance that a surprise team will be able to sustain good momentum from the start of the season. Teams very rarely manage to capture lighting in a bottle and make a surprise run through all 82 games. After about 20 games the other teams catch on that the team is playing better than expected and that puts an end to that. Unless there is an injury to a team's major star, you can pretty much tell where teams are going to place at the end of the regular season based on the offseason, so that is what everyone concentrates on. Because of that, now that the Cleveland Cavaliers' season has ended the real business of this NBA offseason (recruiting LeBron James) has begun. And, while I get that he's a very good basketball player, I would really like the fans of the respective basketball teams with a good shot to sign him to show a little restraint and self-pride. Signing James isn't going to guarantee a title, so don't sell yourselves out as though it will.
Already people are jumping all over the Internet with websites to attract LeBron to their team. The Knicks and Nets fans are putting together team videos with celebrities asking him to come to New Yowrk and the Bulls' fans have put up websites in an attempt to get James to Chicago. Hell, the Clippers fans (yes, they exist) are planning a parade to try and get him to come to Los Angeles. And, of course, the Cavalier fans aren't going down without a fight, starting sites like pleasedontleave23.com (perhaps, given the Cavaliers' history pre-James, it is fitting that the site is currently not working). I would like to caution these fans that signing James doesn't mean a thing. I'm sure after signing Penny Hardaway and Grant Hill in the same offseason Orlando fans were thinking title and they never got out of the first round of the playoffs with those two in uniform. Just like I do with people who want to put political bumper-stickers on their cars, I simply want to ask all those fans to take a step back and think long-term. Really, if James ends up leaving Cleveland, how dumb do you think this guy is going to feel?
-Speaking of fans who should feel pretty dumb, I want to thank the Philadelphia fans who cover a Montreal sports writer's car in trash, slashed his tire and stole his license plates for reaffirming every stereotype that people have about Philly's fans. I used to work with a guy from Philadelphia and he constantly told me how blown out of proportion the stories were and that most fans were mellow and laid back. Well, tell that to the poor guy who has to drive back to Montreal and try to get into Canada without any plates on his car. Also, he said he's received a couple hundred emails and "they're running about 3-to-1 on the apologetic side." I'm sorry, but who's writing the ones defending trashing another man's car? You stay classy, Philly. Now, I'm not saying that Montreal fans are great, but you should really strive to be better, not equally terrible. Besides, how did you know the guy wasn't a transplanted Flyers fan? And you wonder why no one was happy for your city when the Philles broke through and won the World Series a couple years ago.
Already people are jumping all over the Internet with websites to attract LeBron to their team. The Knicks and Nets fans are putting together team videos with celebrities asking him to come to New Yowrk and the Bulls' fans have put up websites in an attempt to get James to Chicago. Hell, the Clippers fans (yes, they exist) are planning a parade to try and get him to come to Los Angeles. And, of course, the Cavalier fans aren't going down without a fight, starting sites like pleasedontleave23.com (perhaps, given the Cavaliers' history pre-James, it is fitting that the site is currently not working). I would like to caution these fans that signing James doesn't mean a thing. I'm sure after signing Penny Hardaway and Grant Hill in the same offseason Orlando fans were thinking title and they never got out of the first round of the playoffs with those two in uniform. Just like I do with people who want to put political bumper-stickers on their cars, I simply want to ask all those fans to take a step back and think long-term. Really, if James ends up leaving Cleveland, how dumb do you think this guy is going to feel?
-Speaking of fans who should feel pretty dumb, I want to thank the Philadelphia fans who cover a Montreal sports writer's car in trash, slashed his tire and stole his license plates for reaffirming every stereotype that people have about Philly's fans. I used to work with a guy from Philadelphia and he constantly told me how blown out of proportion the stories were and that most fans were mellow and laid back. Well, tell that to the poor guy who has to drive back to Montreal and try to get into Canada without any plates on his car. Also, he said he's received a couple hundred emails and "they're running about 3-to-1 on the apologetic side." I'm sorry, but who's writing the ones defending trashing another man's car? You stay classy, Philly. Now, I'm not saying that Montreal fans are great, but you should really strive to be better, not equally terrible. Besides, how did you know the guy wasn't a transplanted Flyers fan? And you wonder why no one was happy for your city when the Philles broke through and won the World Series a couple years ago.
Monday, May 17, 2010
I Don't Learn
You would think if a show constantly annoyed me, I would eventually catch on and know enough to stop watching it. However, I can't stop watching Deep Sea Detectives, even though every single episode pretty much ends with the host looking at the camera and saying, "Well, I guess we'll never know for sure what happened" while I realise I just wasted an hour of my life. The problem is I enjoy watching shows about wreck diving, because I still think one of these days I'm going to take up scuba diving (I am just so graceful in the water). Also, most of the sites they dive to are in pretty locations with old ships and I enjoy both pretty locations and history. Still, today's episode was extra annoying because not only did they never figure out how this particular wreck happened, but it also showed they are terrible planners, which is another trait that drives me nuts.
Those who know me know that I don't get annoyed if a plan tries to account for all contingencies but then something goes sideways, because that isn't anyone's fault. At least you attempted to do it right the first time. No, the way to drive me crazy is to try to fly in the face of sound advice and then be surprised when it doesn't work out for you. Today's episode wanted to dive on this wreck off the English coast, but due to strong currents and bad weather the dive season in this area only lasts from June through September. For whatever reason they weren't doing this dive until late in August and were shocked, shocked I tell you, that the conditions were bad. You just told us that the diving gets bad around September, so what did they expect to happen? They either needed to do this dive earlier in this year or hold off and do it next summer, perhaps in the middle of the peak conditions. Really, the wreck is almost a hundred years old, so it's not like it's going anywhere and if you've ever been on Google Earth you know there are plenty of other wreck sites to visit in the meantime.
-Ok, I get why Coach Calipari would want it to be known that he is tied to LeBron James and he's not leaving Kentucky unless a team has some serious interest in signing James. After all, he left a pretty good college team to try and coach a Nets team with almost no talent and he's not about to make that mistake again (especially when you considering if he fails in his next NBA shot it will be the last one he gets). What I don't get is why LeBron would be so intent on Calipari being his coach. Calipari has never won a National Championship and has had to vacate both of his Final Four appearances. Just because you have mutual friends and a guy seems nice enough off the court (there has to be a reason Coach Cal is such a great recruiter) doesn't mean you want to be taking orders from him when you're down 4 with 10 seconds to play. Let's say the Russian billionaire that just bought the Nets throws $8 million a year at Phil Jackson - you honestly think that James would turn down the New York media market, a max contract and a pretty solid starting base of talent just because he would have to listen to Jackson instead of Calipari? Yeah, me neither.
Those who know me know that I don't get annoyed if a plan tries to account for all contingencies but then something goes sideways, because that isn't anyone's fault. At least you attempted to do it right the first time. No, the way to drive me crazy is to try to fly in the face of sound advice and then be surprised when it doesn't work out for you. Today's episode wanted to dive on this wreck off the English coast, but due to strong currents and bad weather the dive season in this area only lasts from June through September. For whatever reason they weren't doing this dive until late in August and were shocked, shocked I tell you, that the conditions were bad. You just told us that the diving gets bad around September, so what did they expect to happen? They either needed to do this dive earlier in this year or hold off and do it next summer, perhaps in the middle of the peak conditions. Really, the wreck is almost a hundred years old, so it's not like it's going anywhere and if you've ever been on Google Earth you know there are plenty of other wreck sites to visit in the meantime.
-Ok, I get why Coach Calipari would want it to be known that he is tied to LeBron James and he's not leaving Kentucky unless a team has some serious interest in signing James. After all, he left a pretty good college team to try and coach a Nets team with almost no talent and he's not about to make that mistake again (especially when you considering if he fails in his next NBA shot it will be the last one he gets). What I don't get is why LeBron would be so intent on Calipari being his coach. Calipari has never won a National Championship and has had to vacate both of his Final Four appearances. Just because you have mutual friends and a guy seems nice enough off the court (there has to be a reason Coach Cal is such a great recruiter) doesn't mean you want to be taking orders from him when you're down 4 with 10 seconds to play. Let's say the Russian billionaire that just bought the Nets throws $8 million a year at Phil Jackson - you honestly think that James would turn down the New York media market, a max contract and a pretty solid starting base of talent just because he would have to listen to Jackson instead of Calipari? Yeah, me neither.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
My Playoff Guess
So, I was sitting down to put together my Eastern Conference Playoff Preview, when I realised something: I really have no idea how this series is going to go. (And, before you accuse me of trying another reverse-jinx like I did against the Cavaliers, that's honestly not what I am going for here. Believe me, I fired all my reverse-jinx bullets in that series. I'm out.) I guess the main problem is that I just don't know how good this Magic team is. Yes, they ended the season on a large winning streak, but how many NBA teams are really trying the last month or so? And it's true they haven't lost yet in the playoffs, but the Bobcats and Hawks weren't exactly stiff competition. The Bobcats were way too happy just to make the playoffs and that Atlanta team couldn't roll over fast enough once they lost game one of the series. Then again, perhaps the Magic just made them look that bad. It's kind of a tough call.
Much like in the series against Cleveland, I feel like the opposing team has the best player, but the Celtics are the better team. If you were picking guys for a game you would go Howard first, but the next three (maybe four, depending on how you feel about Vince Carter and Jameer Nelson) would undoubtedly be Celtics. Also, I would put the coaching matchup at a wash because while I think Van Gundy may be the better Xs and Os coach, Doc has the ear of his players and Van Gundy wears on his guys too much. Still, Van Gundy will know enough to exploit matchups in his favor, something Mike Brown never figured out in Cleveland. If he gets them to commit to running then the Magic should take this series, cause this year athletic teams that want to run have killed the Celtics.
In the end for me the deciding factor was the way the teams met last year and using that barometer I lean towards the Celtics. It took the Magic seven games to beat the Celtics when we had to start Big Baby and our first forward off the bench was Brian Scalabrine, who doesn't even dress this year. Rasheed Wallace has appeared to care the last couple of weeks, which is encouraging because the reason we brought him here was for May, not March. Also, Vince Carter will not be given any easy baskets this series, which means he will never want to get near the paint after game 2. Nelson will give Rondo trouble, but not shut him down and Pierce won't have to kill himself guarding anyone as tough as LeBron James, so he can save some energy for the offensive end of the court. Perkins will make Howard fight for every rebound and point, which hopefully will frustrate him into some dumb fouls. Again, I don't think it will be easy, but I'm going to say the Celtics take it in 6 games.
-You ever know something is going to be terrible, but you talk yourself into it anyway? Well, I did that same thing the other night with the movie Year One. When I saw the first trailer I didn't want to see it, when it was in theatres I couldn't bring myself to go and once it came out on video I still couldn't bring myself to add it to the BlockBuster online wish list. I'm not a big Jack Black fan and even though I don't dislike Michael Cera, at this point I want to see him do something other than be the awkward teenager. Therefore I decided to skip it. However, when there is nothing on TV and it's free On-Demand, you can talk yourself into just about anything. I should have gone with my first instincts. This movie was just not funny. Honestly I think the only time I laughed was during the outtakes in the credits and they were not worth the wait. I really should have known better.
Much like in the series against Cleveland, I feel like the opposing team has the best player, but the Celtics are the better team. If you were picking guys for a game you would go Howard first, but the next three (maybe four, depending on how you feel about Vince Carter and Jameer Nelson) would undoubtedly be Celtics. Also, I would put the coaching matchup at a wash because while I think Van Gundy may be the better Xs and Os coach, Doc has the ear of his players and Van Gundy wears on his guys too much. Still, Van Gundy will know enough to exploit matchups in his favor, something Mike Brown never figured out in Cleveland. If he gets them to commit to running then the Magic should take this series, cause this year athletic teams that want to run have killed the Celtics.
In the end for me the deciding factor was the way the teams met last year and using that barometer I lean towards the Celtics. It took the Magic seven games to beat the Celtics when we had to start Big Baby and our first forward off the bench was Brian Scalabrine, who doesn't even dress this year. Rasheed Wallace has appeared to care the last couple of weeks, which is encouraging because the reason we brought him here was for May, not March. Also, Vince Carter will not be given any easy baskets this series, which means he will never want to get near the paint after game 2. Nelson will give Rondo trouble, but not shut him down and Pierce won't have to kill himself guarding anyone as tough as LeBron James, so he can save some energy for the offensive end of the court. Perkins will make Howard fight for every rebound and point, which hopefully will frustrate him into some dumb fouls. Again, I don't think it will be easy, but I'm going to say the Celtics take it in 6 games.
-You ever know something is going to be terrible, but you talk yourself into it anyway? Well, I did that same thing the other night with the movie Year One. When I saw the first trailer I didn't want to see it, when it was in theatres I couldn't bring myself to go and once it came out on video I still couldn't bring myself to add it to the BlockBuster online wish list. I'm not a big Jack Black fan and even though I don't dislike Michael Cera, at this point I want to see him do something other than be the awkward teenager. Therefore I decided to skip it. However, when there is nothing on TV and it's free On-Demand, you can talk yourself into just about anything. I should have gone with my first instincts. This movie was just not funny. Honestly I think the only time I laughed was during the outtakes in the credits and they were not worth the wait. I really should have known better.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Five Questions
1.Why are all stage moms war pigs? Honestly, I have seen a couple news reports about the group of 7-year olds performing their rendition of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" and every single mom that tried to defend the pageant lifestyle was not looking their best. Clearly none of them ever won a pageant of their own, cause they looked like me with a wig on.
2. Why do we need 2 hours of pre-race coverage for horse races? I know back in the 40s and 50s horse racing was a big deal. But, we've moved on from that and no longer care that much about the sport except for the Kentucky Derby and the last race if there is a horse that could win a triple crown. Here's what I need to know: the horses and the odds. That should take about 20 minutes and still give Bob Costas enough time to interview a jockey so he can enjoy the one day a year he can look down at an athlete.
3. If even the actors who were in it think a movie sucked, can I get a refund? Yes, Shia LaBeouf, I heard what you said about the last Transformers and Indiana Jones sequels. If that's the case I feel like you owe me $20. Also, if you want to give me an advance on your Wall Street sequel that would be fine as well.
4. While NBC is getting rid of Heroes, ABC is cancelling Lost and FOX is doing away with 24, what is it going to take for CBS to stop doing more seasons of Survivor? The show stopped being original around season 4 and you guys are clearly on borrowed time. I don't even watch it, I just want to stop infesting the world with any more quasi-celebrities.
5. Snakes aren't on any type of animal protection list, right? Like, I could take one out without there being any sort of fine. After all, if its on my land that's trespassing anyway.
2. Why do we need 2 hours of pre-race coverage for horse races? I know back in the 40s and 50s horse racing was a big deal. But, we've moved on from that and no longer care that much about the sport except for the Kentucky Derby and the last race if there is a horse that could win a triple crown. Here's what I need to know: the horses and the odds. That should take about 20 minutes and still give Bob Costas enough time to interview a jockey so he can enjoy the one day a year he can look down at an athlete.
3. If even the actors who were in it think a movie sucked, can I get a refund? Yes, Shia LaBeouf, I heard what you said about the last Transformers and Indiana Jones sequels. If that's the case I feel like you owe me $20. Also, if you want to give me an advance on your Wall Street sequel that would be fine as well.
4. While NBC is getting rid of Heroes, ABC is cancelling Lost and FOX is doing away with 24, what is it going to take for CBS to stop doing more seasons of Survivor? The show stopped being original around season 4 and you guys are clearly on borrowed time. I don't even watch it, I just want to stop infesting the world with any more quasi-celebrities.
5. Snakes aren't on any type of animal protection list, right? Like, I could take one out without there being any sort of fine. After all, if its on my land that's trespassing anyway.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Seven For Friday
-After successfully getting Betty White to host SNL, the crazy kids and their Facebooks are turning back to the Internet to see what other celebrities they could try and get SNL to have as guest-hosts. Names like Carol Burnett are out there, but here's one you haven't heard yet that I would like to offer up: Abe Vigoda. Seriously, he was in that same Snickers commercial with Betty White and is getting no love. I would hurry, though.
-It seems as though every phone commercial that airs these days has the same general premise: Person has big, super-important presentation to make. Person forgets presentation. Person can download presentation with very fast connection on their fancy phone. Now, it seems good in theory, only I would imagine that if you can't remember to bring the biggest presentation of your life then you aren't going to be very good if you were to get the job. I know I wouldn't hire you, no matter how nice your phone may be.
-I can't get over the way the Cavaliers rolled over and gave up last night. I never would have thought that an NBA coaching staff would ever be so accepting of their fate. I mean, you see teams down 14 with six seconds left trying to foul so being down 9 with over a minute left should be a no-brainer. They were acting like they were the team up 3-2 in the series.
-Speaking of those Cavalier coaches, allegedly they're all about to be fired. That means the Cavaliers, Bulls and Hawks jobs are already open. Also, Larry Brown may be ready to move to Philadelphia's front office, Doc Rivers wants to spend more time with his family and Eric Spoelstra can't feel secure as long as Pat Riley is walking around that Miami Heat office. That means 6 of 8 the NBA Eastern Conference playoff teams may be changing coaches this offseason. When did the NBA become the NHL?
-I'm not all that upset about NBA cancelling Law & Order because, lets face it, it's not like we're never going to see it again. There will still be all-day marathons to get you through a sick day or a rainy Sunday. However, if they announced they would be pulling all the re-runs off of the USA network, then you would see some rioting in the streets.
-Tell you something about another crime show: after watching a couple episodes of A&E's great show The First 48, I am now fairly convinced that I could be a homicide detective. I mean, it's pretty easy to know who did it, cause it's always the guy who's face is not blurred by the camera. If I can see you then you obviously did it. I wouldn't even need the 48 hours.
-Ok, it was great of you to try and save a whale. Well done, sir. Still, I'm slightly dubious of the 280-yard drive. That part seems kind of far-fetched.
-It seems as though every phone commercial that airs these days has the same general premise: Person has big, super-important presentation to make. Person forgets presentation. Person can download presentation with very fast connection on their fancy phone. Now, it seems good in theory, only I would imagine that if you can't remember to bring the biggest presentation of your life then you aren't going to be very good if you were to get the job. I know I wouldn't hire you, no matter how nice your phone may be.
-I can't get over the way the Cavaliers rolled over and gave up last night. I never would have thought that an NBA coaching staff would ever be so accepting of their fate. I mean, you see teams down 14 with six seconds left trying to foul so being down 9 with over a minute left should be a no-brainer. They were acting like they were the team up 3-2 in the series.
-Speaking of those Cavalier coaches, allegedly they're all about to be fired. That means the Cavaliers, Bulls and Hawks jobs are already open. Also, Larry Brown may be ready to move to Philadelphia's front office, Doc Rivers wants to spend more time with his family and Eric Spoelstra can't feel secure as long as Pat Riley is walking around that Miami Heat office. That means 6 of 8 the NBA Eastern Conference playoff teams may be changing coaches this offseason. When did the NBA become the NHL?
-I'm not all that upset about NBA cancelling Law & Order because, lets face it, it's not like we're never going to see it again. There will still be all-day marathons to get you through a sick day or a rainy Sunday. However, if they announced they would be pulling all the re-runs off of the USA network, then you would see some rioting in the streets.
-Tell you something about another crime show: after watching a couple episodes of A&E's great show The First 48, I am now fairly convinced that I could be a homicide detective. I mean, it's pretty easy to know who did it, cause it's always the guy who's face is not blurred by the camera. If I can see you then you obviously did it. I wouldn't even need the 48 hours.
-Ok, it was great of you to try and save a whale. Well done, sir. Still, I'm slightly dubious of the 280-yard drive. That part seems kind of far-fetched.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Double Whammy
I was in line at the local deli this afternoon, ready to pick up my order and be on my merry way. As you would expect at a place that makes Boston's Best Chicken Salad, it was a little crowded with the lunchtime rush. This was not unusual and would in and of itself not be worthy of a blog post. I have no problem waiting when there is a good reason. But then I was stuck behind two women who are the absolute worst kind of people to be behind when you are in line and hungry. First off, they were not paying attention to what was going on. They were just wrapped up in their own little world of office politics, talking louder than two people standing next to each other really need to. I don't care if the copier keeps jamming and your boss refuses to pay for a real technician to come in and fix it. Ladies, pay attention and be ready when it is your turn. But, the more annoying point came when the realised it was time to ring them up (separately, naturally, because let's prolong this experience). Both of their bills were less than $5 and both decided to pay with their credit cards. Are you serious? You want to pay interest on a sandwich? Like I said, I don't mind waiting, but don't extend my wait because you didn't think to hit an ATM this morning.
Normally I could deal with these ladies in and of themselves, but their slowness gave birth to an even worse kind of person: the self-important line cutter. You see, he is an important person (you can tell because he wears a suit to work) and doesn't have time to wait in line with the rest of us unwashed masses. Instead what this guy does is skip over everyone in line, walk to the counter, show the cashier what he's buying, leave his money on the counter and walk out. So, not only is this guy important, but he obviously does well and wants us all to know about it, because he doesn't need to wait for change. "Don't worry about those pennies, ladies, I'm above them." This guy infuriates me because he clearly thinks his time is more valuable than everyone in front of him. Do you think I want to be in line right now, sir? Obviously I would rather be in my car and on my way home but I learned in kindergarten that sometimes you just have to wait your turn. Apparently, you skipped that day. Might I also suggest you go back and pay closer attention on the day when we all learned that a penny saved is a penny earned, because your car wasn't that nice.
-While I am quietly optimistic about the Celtics' chances in crucial game 6 tonight, I am also mostly concerned that we're about to see a monster performance from LeBron James. For the last two days everyone has been crapping on his effort in game 5 and now people are taking the extra step of wondering if maybe James is a product of too much hype and not enough results. He's entered the "you're out of other people to blame" phase of his career. While you could make the case that this is long over-due, I fear that the national media has just made him mad and, after seeing a pissed-off LeBron James eviscerate the Celtics in game 3, I'd really rather he be calm. I don't want another 30 point first quarter that has the game decided before the crowd even has time to sit down.
Normally I could deal with these ladies in and of themselves, but their slowness gave birth to an even worse kind of person: the self-important line cutter. You see, he is an important person (you can tell because he wears a suit to work) and doesn't have time to wait in line with the rest of us unwashed masses. Instead what this guy does is skip over everyone in line, walk to the counter, show the cashier what he's buying, leave his money on the counter and walk out. So, not only is this guy important, but he obviously does well and wants us all to know about it, because he doesn't need to wait for change. "Don't worry about those pennies, ladies, I'm above them." This guy infuriates me because he clearly thinks his time is more valuable than everyone in front of him. Do you think I want to be in line right now, sir? Obviously I would rather be in my car and on my way home but I learned in kindergarten that sometimes you just have to wait your turn. Apparently, you skipped that day. Might I also suggest you go back and pay closer attention on the day when we all learned that a penny saved is a penny earned, because your car wasn't that nice.
-While I am quietly optimistic about the Celtics' chances in crucial game 6 tonight, I am also mostly concerned that we're about to see a monster performance from LeBron James. For the last two days everyone has been crapping on his effort in game 5 and now people are taking the extra step of wondering if maybe James is a product of too much hype and not enough results. He's entered the "you're out of other people to blame" phase of his career. While you could make the case that this is long over-due, I fear that the national media has just made him mad and, after seeing a pissed-off LeBron James eviscerate the Celtics in game 3, I'd really rather he be calm. I don't want another 30 point first quarter that has the game decided before the crowd even has time to sit down.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
You Can Make It, Buddy!
Like everyone else, I have my momentary thoughts about engaging in some civil disobedience. But, as with most of society, I stay inside the lines and prefer to have someone else try the illegal stuff, which I can then live vicariously through them. Perfect example: the other day I'm travelling down the highway in the center lane with a State Police cruiser a couple car lengths ahead in the high-speed lane. Something about the van ahead of him catches his eye and he hits his lights. The van immediately pulls into the center lane and I can sense the driver is really hoping the cruiser will shoot passed him and go after some one else. Alas, the cruiser followed him into the middle lane, affirming that he would be pulling over the van driver. [Sidebar: I've been there and that feeling SUCKS. You have that split second where you are trying to convince yourself that they're after someone else, but then your heart sinks as the cruiser pulls in behind you. It is even worse when you weren't doing anything wrong at the time. Seriously, who gets pulled over just for having a rejection sticker in their window? You have 60 days to re-tested, you know. God, that Statie was a bitch. Was there no real crime going on that day? Nice to see I've gotten over it.]
Anyways, the van kept driving down the center lane despite the cruiser on its tail. I don't know if the driver was freaking out, in denial or thinking about running, but I know which one I was hoping for. As this mini-chase continued into it's second mile, with the van and cruiser still in the center lane, I got legitimately excited over the thought that I was about to see the beginnings of a car chase. Now, I would never run from the cops, but the thought of being there when someone else tried was pretty exhilarating. As the van refused to pull to the side of the road for the third mile, I almost wanted to pull along side the van and start encouraging him to make a break for it. "Go for it buddy! You'll be the one who gets away! Don't let the man keep you down!" Instead it was the guy just wanted to make sure he had a ton of room to get completely off the road and pulled over once they got closer to a rest area (I'm sure the cop was very understanding of this desire). I bet once the driver got whatever ticket was coming to him he reconsidered his decision to pull over.
-As a guy who grew up with Ken Griffey Jr. as his only baseball idol, I'm kind of saddened to see what his career has fallen to. After a Hall of Fame career Griffey is back in an ambassadorial position with the Mariners; only being used as a DH, batting in the low .200s and apparently can't stay awake anymore. A report surfaced last week that the manager wanted to use Griffey in a pinch-hitting role late in a game, but couldn't find him. The story says Griffey went back into the clubhouse to get a jacket, never came back to the bench and when his teammates went to find him he was asleep so he never was put into the game. Griffey denies he was asleep and the manager doesn't want to comment, mostly likely because Griffey is the most important player in Mariners history. Personally, I believe Griffey, strictly because I want to and I'm not impartial when it comes to childhood sports heroes. What I actually find the most interesting is that former players are now coming out of the woodwork to defend Griffey and their arguments almost all go along the lines of "Everyone naps in the clubhouse at one time or another!" So, what I'm gleaming from this is that even baseball players find baseball to be a very dull sport.
Anyways, the van kept driving down the center lane despite the cruiser on its tail. I don't know if the driver was freaking out, in denial or thinking about running, but I know which one I was hoping for. As this mini-chase continued into it's second mile, with the van and cruiser still in the center lane, I got legitimately excited over the thought that I was about to see the beginnings of a car chase. Now, I would never run from the cops, but the thought of being there when someone else tried was pretty exhilarating. As the van refused to pull to the side of the road for the third mile, I almost wanted to pull along side the van and start encouraging him to make a break for it. "Go for it buddy! You'll be the one who gets away! Don't let the man keep you down!" Instead it was the guy just wanted to make sure he had a ton of room to get completely off the road and pulled over once they got closer to a rest area (I'm sure the cop was very understanding of this desire). I bet once the driver got whatever ticket was coming to him he reconsidered his decision to pull over.
-As a guy who grew up with Ken Griffey Jr. as his only baseball idol, I'm kind of saddened to see what his career has fallen to. After a Hall of Fame career Griffey is back in an ambassadorial position with the Mariners; only being used as a DH, batting in the low .200s and apparently can't stay awake anymore. A report surfaced last week that the manager wanted to use Griffey in a pinch-hitting role late in a game, but couldn't find him. The story says Griffey went back into the clubhouse to get a jacket, never came back to the bench and when his teammates went to find him he was asleep so he never was put into the game. Griffey denies he was asleep and the manager doesn't want to comment, mostly likely because Griffey is the most important player in Mariners history. Personally, I believe Griffey, strictly because I want to and I'm not impartial when it comes to childhood sports heroes. What I actually find the most interesting is that former players are now coming out of the woodwork to defend Griffey and their arguments almost all go along the lines of "Everyone naps in the clubhouse at one time or another!" So, what I'm gleaming from this is that even baseball players find baseball to be a very dull sport.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Perhaps Plain Shirts Are Best For Me
I've often talked on this blog about the fact that everyone feels the need to tell me their life story. Something about me makes people want to share their thoughts and opinions, no matter how unsolicited. Last week I was down in Wareham, checking the plumbing and power to make sure we're good to go for the summer down at the beach house. Now, to turn the water on requires me to climb into a crawl space under the house, tighten some bolts, turn the main on and then wait to check for leaks. It's a bit of a squeeze for a man my size and not a job you want to do while wearing your Sunday best. Like everyone who does a fair amount of dirty work around their house, I have a series of shirts that are "working around the house" shirts. These would be the shirts where you don't care what happens to them. They are covered in paint and stain and have small holes from the various screws and nails that I have caught them on as I do whatever project I am working on at the time. One of these shirts is a University of Virgina shirt that I bought while visiting my sister when she was living in Washington, DC (you know, I wanted to blend in) and I was wearing it when I went to open the beach house up.
After making sure the house was leak-free I headed to the local shopping strip mall for the opening of a new TJ Maxx (not exactly Marshall's, but it'll do). I'm walking around, not even thinking about what I'm wearing when an older woman grabbed my arm.
"Oh, that is just the saddest story," she said.
What?
"That boy that killed his girlfriend."
Huh?
"The lacrosse players."
Yes, it is sad, but why are you telling me... Oh wait, you think I went to Virginia.
Now, I can see why she would think that, because University of Virgina shirts aren't exactly prevalent around here. It's not local, like Boston College, or a school with a national following like Michigan, where you could find someone who didn't go to there still wearing the school logo anywhere in the United States. You have to figure anyone wearing a Virginia shirt in Massachusetts probably went there. It's actually not the first time this happened, because last time the men's lacrosse team played in Gillette Stadium I wore the same shirt without thinking and had to deal with half a dozen people congratulating my team on a good game. Still, that made some more sense because Virginia was playing in the stadium that day. But, the main thing that struck me was how the woman seemed to take a position like she expected me to disagree with her. Like I'm not going to side with her opinion that a guy killing his girlfriend was tragic. To avoid any future conversations like this, I think from here on out I'm only going to wear shirts with no logos on them.
After making sure the house was leak-free I headed to the local shopping strip mall for the opening of a new TJ Maxx (not exactly Marshall's, but it'll do). I'm walking around, not even thinking about what I'm wearing when an older woman grabbed my arm.
"Oh, that is just the saddest story," she said.
What?
"That boy that killed his girlfriend."
Huh?
"The lacrosse players."
Yes, it is sad, but why are you telling me... Oh wait, you think I went to Virginia.
Now, I can see why she would think that, because University of Virgina shirts aren't exactly prevalent around here. It's not local, like Boston College, or a school with a national following like Michigan, where you could find someone who didn't go to there still wearing the school logo anywhere in the United States. You have to figure anyone wearing a Virginia shirt in Massachusetts probably went there. It's actually not the first time this happened, because last time the men's lacrosse team played in Gillette Stadium I wore the same shirt without thinking and had to deal with half a dozen people congratulating my team on a good game. Still, that made some more sense because Virginia was playing in the stadium that day. But, the main thing that struck me was how the woman seemed to take a position like she expected me to disagree with her. Like I'm not going to side with her opinion that a guy killing his girlfriend was tragic. To avoid any future conversations like this, I think from here on out I'm only going to wear shirts with no logos on them.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Dear Hallmark
As I was shopping for a Mother's Day card the other day, I had a hell of a time finding one that was not awful. I don't know what is going on with the people who write greeting cards today, but apparently they all have some serious issues with their moms. I didn't want to go the ultra-sappy route, because at this point I leave that to my sisters and their daughters (besides, let's be honest, for the time being I can top neither cards made by grandchildren or the act of actually having produced any grandchildren). Instead I chose to go the other way, so all I wanted was a light-hearted card that would perhaps get a chuckle. However, all the ones that I flipped through had a theme along the lines of "sorry I was such a terrible kid" and "I know we didn't always get along when I was growing up." There were no really funny cards - they were all about making it through a tough childhood and moms that drank a lot of wine or constantly burned dinner.
Well, I don't know about the card makers, but my mom and I got along just fine when I was a kid. But, in the case of someone and their mom who didn't, do you think they would want to bring bad history back up on Mother's Day? That seems like a pretty surefire way to wreck what is usually a very nice day. Honestly, Hallmark, you can do better. Maybe you should stop cranking out terrible movies for the Lifetime Network starring Dean Cain and funnel your better thinkers back to the card-writing end of the business. Remember where you came from, my friends. I will check back in at Father's Day to assess your progress over the next month.
-While we're sending open letters:
Dear Maxim Magazine - No. Nope. Wrong. I understand you want to have a little variety and not just the same 10 women in a slightly different order making up the Top 10 every year. But, nope, sorry, not giving you this one. Try again. If you need help I can offer my services.
Well, I don't know about the card makers, but my mom and I got along just fine when I was a kid. But, in the case of someone and their mom who didn't, do you think they would want to bring bad history back up on Mother's Day? That seems like a pretty surefire way to wreck what is usually a very nice day. Honestly, Hallmark, you can do better. Maybe you should stop cranking out terrible movies for the Lifetime Network starring Dean Cain and funnel your better thinkers back to the card-writing end of the business. Remember where you came from, my friends. I will check back in at Father's Day to assess your progress over the next month.
-While we're sending open letters:
Dear Maxim Magazine - No. Nope. Wrong. I understand you want to have a little variety and not just the same 10 women in a slightly different order making up the Top 10 every year. But, nope, sorry, not giving you this one. Try again. If you need help I can offer my services.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day!
I want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there, but especially my sisters Amy, Shivaun and my Mom.
Love you!
Love you!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Accelerator Songs
Picture it: you're driving down the open road with minimal traffic on the highway. It's a beautiful day - the sun is shining and you've got the windows down, maybe the top down as well if you're in a convertible. You're cruising along near the speed limit. A great song comes on the radio. The volume goes up and you're into the song, bobbing your head. Suddenly you look down and you're going 90. Whoops. Well, I like to call those accelerator songs and here are my personal top five.
-This morning I randomly woke up to adjust my pillows at about 5:30. In the ensuing couple of minutes it took me to fall back totally asleep, a huge bolt of lighting and vicious thunder a millisecond later shook my house. Honestly, I would have thought the lighting hit one of the trees right outside my window. (It was not, it should be noted, enough to make me get out of bed. Once my feet hit the floor I am up for the day and even though I don't want to sleep the day away, 5:30 is still too early for me.) I remained in bed until another thunder roll shook my house a few hours later, at which point I conceded that it was time to check the weather report and see how much longer this was going to last. The local weather channel didn't seem very concerned and only mentioned the "occasional roll of thunder" in the afternoon. The biggest concern was a high wind warning in effect until tomorrow morning. Sure, because I'm certain that if I was outside at that moment my biggest worry would have been getting struck by wind.
-There is nothing you can say to defend the whooping that the Cavaliers put on the Celtics last night. The Cavaliers jumped on them early and never even let the Celtics off the mat. It was a very impressive (dare I say Championship-caliber) win for Cleveland. That being said, I do not want to hear one more damn word about Lebron's elbow problems and how he is fighting through injury. That man's arm is just fine.
-This morning I randomly woke up to adjust my pillows at about 5:30. In the ensuing couple of minutes it took me to fall back totally asleep, a huge bolt of lighting and vicious thunder a millisecond later shook my house. Honestly, I would have thought the lighting hit one of the trees right outside my window. (It was not, it should be noted, enough to make me get out of bed. Once my feet hit the floor I am up for the day and even though I don't want to sleep the day away, 5:30 is still too early for me.) I remained in bed until another thunder roll shook my house a few hours later, at which point I conceded that it was time to check the weather report and see how much longer this was going to last. The local weather channel didn't seem very concerned and only mentioned the "occasional roll of thunder" in the afternoon. The biggest concern was a high wind warning in effect until tomorrow morning. Sure, because I'm certain that if I was outside at that moment my biggest worry would have been getting struck by wind.
-There is nothing you can say to defend the whooping that the Cavaliers put on the Celtics last night. The Cavaliers jumped on them early and never even let the Celtics off the mat. It was a very impressive (dare I say Championship-caliber) win for Cleveland. That being said, I do not want to hear one more damn word about Lebron's elbow problems and how he is fighting through injury. That man's arm is just fine.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Six For Friday
-Due to the world of "Twilight" the two most popular baby names this year were Isabella and Jacob. I want to thank all the parents who did this to their children, because when I have kids I will immediately know who's parents I will not trust my kids to stay with. "What's that, you want to have a sleep over at Jacob's? Aren't his parents really into vampires? Ummm, why don't you guys sleep over here instead?"
-While I would feel a little bad for them if Coach Calipari bolted Kentucky for the Chicago Bulls after only one year (and his prized recruiting class would probably scatter), frankly Kentucky had to know who they were getting into bed with. Calipari has always been the type to keep one foot out the door just in case a better job (read: more money) comes along. Now, his alleged interest could just be a marketing tool for a new deal, but I wouldn't be surprised if he took the money and bolted back to the NBA. (I also wouldn't be surprised if he was again terrible once he got back there, either.)
-One more on Calipari: he said he would love to coach LeBron James. No shit, Sherlock. Every coach in America would love to coach LeBron, cause he guarantees 50 wins a year by himself. Hell, I could probably coax 40 wins out of him and I've never coached at any level. It's the main reason that once Mike Brown is fired in Cleveland he'll have a tough time getting another head coaching gig. People realise that James probably would win even more if he had a good coach.
-Who would have thought it was going to take an 88 year-old woman to get me actually excited to see an episode of Saturday Night Live again? Really, that show hasn't been appointment viewing for me for years, but I'll tune in this week.
-As a man who opposes teams putting stupid banners up in their rafters, I was pleased to hear that one of the first acts of new Wizards/Verizon Center/Mystics owner Ted Leonsis will be to take down the Washington Mytics "WNBA Attendance Record" banner from 2002. Really, if that is the only banner-worthy accomplishment of the last 8 years, perhaps they need to start taking down more than just stupid banners. Now, we just need the Patriots' "16-0 Regular Season" and the Colts' "AFC Finalist" banners to follow.
-I got a letter the other day from the State of Massachusetts, essentially telling me I would soon be receiving a letter from the State of Massachusetts. Alright, though it seems like a waste of a stamp. Perhaps this is an agreement between the state and the post office, as a way to keep each other busy: "You keep spending time sending unnecessary letters to make it look like you're doing work and we'll keep delivering them so we have something to do!"
-While I would feel a little bad for them if Coach Calipari bolted Kentucky for the Chicago Bulls after only one year (and his prized recruiting class would probably scatter), frankly Kentucky had to know who they were getting into bed with. Calipari has always been the type to keep one foot out the door just in case a better job (read: more money) comes along. Now, his alleged interest could just be a marketing tool for a new deal, but I wouldn't be surprised if he took the money and bolted back to the NBA. (I also wouldn't be surprised if he was again terrible once he got back there, either.)
-One more on Calipari: he said he would love to coach LeBron James. No shit, Sherlock. Every coach in America would love to coach LeBron, cause he guarantees 50 wins a year by himself. Hell, I could probably coax 40 wins out of him and I've never coached at any level. It's the main reason that once Mike Brown is fired in Cleveland he'll have a tough time getting another head coaching gig. People realise that James probably would win even more if he had a good coach.
-Who would have thought it was going to take an 88 year-old woman to get me actually excited to see an episode of Saturday Night Live again? Really, that show hasn't been appointment viewing for me for years, but I'll tune in this week.
-As a man who opposes teams putting stupid banners up in their rafters, I was pleased to hear that one of the first acts of new Wizards/Verizon Center/Mystics owner Ted Leonsis will be to take down the Washington Mytics "WNBA Attendance Record" banner from 2002. Really, if that is the only banner-worthy accomplishment of the last 8 years, perhaps they need to start taking down more than just stupid banners. Now, we just need the Patriots' "16-0 Regular Season" and the Colts' "AFC Finalist" banners to follow.
-I got a letter the other day from the State of Massachusetts, essentially telling me I would soon be receiving a letter from the State of Massachusetts. Alright, though it seems like a waste of a stamp. Perhaps this is an agreement between the state and the post office, as a way to keep each other busy: "You keep spending time sending unnecessary letters to make it look like you're doing work and we'll keep delivering them so we have something to do!"
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Copycats
You know, I'm willing to suffer someone acting like a jackass. I mean, we've all been there; something seems like a great idea in the moment, but after a couple hours or so of hindsight you realise that you were just a huge idiot. What I am not going to tolerate, however, is someone being an unoriginal jackass. The other day I mentioned the story of the kid who ran onto the field during the Phillies game Monday night and got himself tased. Now, it was a big story because he was the first fan to ever be tased on the field and it led to a fairly big debate in the world of sports over whether or not that was excessive on security's part. The kid's face was all over TV and the Internet, they interviewed his parents and he became famous for the day. Given today's world, I guess it shouldn't be all that surprising that Tuesday night another loser decided that he wanted a piece of that action.
A 34 year-old aspiring DJ tweeted his intentions and then hopped onto the field, actually hoping to get tased so he could add his name to the national debate. [Sidebar: there are certain careers you should no longer be 'aspiring' to when you hit 34. The list looks like this: DJ, bartender, bouncer or exotic dancer.] Instead, he was roundly booed (nicely handled, Philly fans), who immediately recognized the unoriginality of this idiot. Not to mention the Phillies were in a tight game in the ninth inning when this guy decided it was the best time for his little stunt. He could have cost the Phillies the game, which was all the rest of the people in the stadium cared about. It's still up for debate as to whether or not it's too harsh to tase someone who runs onto the field while a game is going on, but the last thing I would have thought was that it would lead to someone else wanting to get tased. I understand that there are people out there who want attention and don't really care how they get it, but still there has to be a better way to go about it. I can only hope that the rest of the city in which you live coming together to certify you as an asshole is more of a deterrent than a jolt of electricity.
-Speaking of people who may want to stop copying idiotic behavior, remember the video I posted last week where the soccer player went down as though he had been shot, only replay showed he was never touched? Well, I feel like this story should serve as a warning to any soccer players who want to flop like their more famous heroes. In a low-level league in Croatia, a man was playing and went down. The ref, fully convinced that the guy was guilty of flopping, went over to give him a yellow card. There was just a small issue of the guy being dead. Apparently he had suffered a heart attack and died on the spot. Also, the ref had already written him up for the yellow.
A 34 year-old aspiring DJ tweeted his intentions and then hopped onto the field, actually hoping to get tased so he could add his name to the national debate. [Sidebar: there are certain careers you should no longer be 'aspiring' to when you hit 34. The list looks like this: DJ, bartender, bouncer or exotic dancer.] Instead, he was roundly booed (nicely handled, Philly fans), who immediately recognized the unoriginality of this idiot. Not to mention the Phillies were in a tight game in the ninth inning when this guy decided it was the best time for his little stunt. He could have cost the Phillies the game, which was all the rest of the people in the stadium cared about. It's still up for debate as to whether or not it's too harsh to tase someone who runs onto the field while a game is going on, but the last thing I would have thought was that it would lead to someone else wanting to get tased. I understand that there are people out there who want attention and don't really care how they get it, but still there has to be a better way to go about it. I can only hope that the rest of the city in which you live coming together to certify you as an asshole is more of a deterrent than a jolt of electricity.
-Speaking of people who may want to stop copying idiotic behavior, remember the video I posted last week where the soccer player went down as though he had been shot, only replay showed he was never touched? Well, I feel like this story should serve as a warning to any soccer players who want to flop like their more famous heroes. In a low-level league in Croatia, a man was playing and went down. The ref, fully convinced that the guy was guilty of flopping, went over to give him a yellow card. There was just a small issue of the guy being dead. Apparently he had suffered a heart attack and died on the spot. Also, the ref had already written him up for the yellow.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Cinco
I was all set to talk about Cinco de Mayo today, but then I was reading how it has become an overrated holiday to many actual Mexican people. They think too many people just use it as an excuse to drink and party and do not appreciate what the day is truly meant to be celebrating. Having Chipotle for lunch and a Corona after dinner is actually seen as perpetuating a stereotype - not celebrating the heritage. In other words, it's the Latino version of St. Patrick's Day. When you put it like that I can see why it would bother them. Because of that I won't be discussing the holiday and will instead take today to make fun of the new immigration law that Arizona passed. Cause, yeah, that's the same.
-Tonight the Red Sox are honoring Nomar Garciaparra before their game against the Angels. They want to honor #5 on 5/5. Nice, because what Nomar needed was another reason to be OCD about the number five. I talked about Nomar when he first announced his retirement, so I won't re-hash all that, but I'm still interested to see what kind of ceremony they will hold for him tonight. The big question on my mind is whether or not they'll give him a bat to let him do his ritual one last time in front of the fans. Personally, I think that would be awesome.
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-Tonight the Red Sox are honoring Nomar Garciaparra before their game against the Angels. They want to honor #5 on 5/5. Nice, because what Nomar needed was another reason to be OCD about the number five. I talked about Nomar when he first announced his retirement, so I won't re-hash all that, but I'm still interested to see what kind of ceremony they will hold for him tonight. The big question on my mind is whether or not they'll give him a bat to let him do his ritual one last time in front of the fans. Personally, I think that would be awesome.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Fighting Muscle Memory
So, it appears that the boil water order that has been in effect for the last couple of days for the Boston area is already over. The leak was fixed, the water has been tested so we can start drinking tap water again. I guess the rush for bottled water was much ado about nothing. I bet those people who came to blows in the super market over a case of Poland Springs must feel pretty stupid right about now. (Actually, I would hope they felt stupid immediately after the fight, if not during. At least they're all set for water for their Memorial Day barbecue.) After everyone runs the water through their faucets for 20 minutes or so, we can forget this this ever happened and go back to acting as though clean water coming to our homes is a giant magic trick. Frankly, I feel like it's not a moment too soon because as it turns out, following a boil water declaration is harder to follow than you think.
Sure, for the last couple of days I had been brushing my teeth with bottled water, but for the 28 years prior to that I had been able to simply run my toothbrush under the tap whenever I needed to clean it off. That's 28 years of habit to break. So, I had been starting out with the bottled water on my toothbrush, but then I would run it under the faucet without thinking. I mean, I did this almost every time. That's twice a day I would make this mistake (nope, I'm not one of those people who brushes after lunch, sorry). Frankly, I'm not sure what level of contamination I was risking here. Just remind me to never go to Mexico, because I would be chomping on ice cubes and brushing my teeth without ever thinking twice about it. It wouldn't be until I got home and had to live in the bathroom for a couple weeks that I would finally realise the error of my ways.
-There is a story in the news right now about a baseball fan who, in a moment of youthful exuberance, ran onto the field during last night's Cardinals/Phillies game. After chasing him for a couple minutes, the security at the park got tired and decided to tase him to end the pursuit. Now, because it's all over YouTube and it turns out the kid was a harmless, 17 year-old high school senior (who even thought to call his dad and ask if he could run onto the field) people are wondering if the taser was necessary. [Sidebar: this kid's dad said, "I don't think you should." Clearly he should have been more persuasive. I believe my father would have said something more along the lines of "No."] Personally, I feel like the tasing was just fine. Yeah, the guy turned out to be a fun-loving kid, but how was security supposed to know that? Better to air on the side of safety. Not to mention, he wasn't supposed to be on the field to begin with. Also, I kind of feel like if this kid was 27, not 17, then this wouldn't even be an issue today. Bottom line: don't want to be tased? Don't go on the field.
Sure, for the last couple of days I had been brushing my teeth with bottled water, but for the 28 years prior to that I had been able to simply run my toothbrush under the tap whenever I needed to clean it off. That's 28 years of habit to break. So, I had been starting out with the bottled water on my toothbrush, but then I would run it under the faucet without thinking. I mean, I did this almost every time. That's twice a day I would make this mistake (nope, I'm not one of those people who brushes after lunch, sorry). Frankly, I'm not sure what level of contamination I was risking here. Just remind me to never go to Mexico, because I would be chomping on ice cubes and brushing my teeth without ever thinking twice about it. It wouldn't be until I got home and had to live in the bathroom for a couple weeks that I would finally realise the error of my ways.
-There is a story in the news right now about a baseball fan who, in a moment of youthful exuberance, ran onto the field during last night's Cardinals/Phillies game. After chasing him for a couple minutes, the security at the park got tired and decided to tase him to end the pursuit. Now, because it's all over YouTube and it turns out the kid was a harmless, 17 year-old high school senior (who even thought to call his dad and ask if he could run onto the field) people are wondering if the taser was necessary. [Sidebar: this kid's dad said, "I don't think you should." Clearly he should have been more persuasive. I believe my father would have said something more along the lines of "No."] Personally, I feel like the tasing was just fine. Yeah, the guy turned out to be a fun-loving kid, but how was security supposed to know that? Better to air on the side of safety. Not to mention, he wasn't supposed to be on the field to begin with. Also, I kind of feel like if this kid was 27, not 17, then this wouldn't even be an issue today. Bottom line: don't want to be tased? Don't go on the field.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Stadium Ramblings
I'm about to say something that could very well get me run out of Boston, but, here goes: I don't like Fenway Park. It is small, cramped and not that much fun to sit in for 4 hours at a time. The fact that you have to pay through the nose for the privilege of it all just further infuriates me. I outgrew that place when I was about 12. I truly think Fenway Park is the main reason I am not a bigger baseball fan. The people who treat it like a cathedral are idiots who have clearly never been to places like SafeCo or Camden Yards. I challenge anyone to go sit in those stadiums then come back to Boston, look me in the eye and honestly try to tell me that Fenway is better. Now, sure, I get that we needed to win a World Series before getting a new stadium because of the history of the team, the park and the city. But, now the team has won twice in the last six years - it's time.
Now, I don't want some domed, lifeless monstrosity like they have down in Tampa Bay, but if they put some effort into it then I'm sure they could come up with a plan that would make the place nice enough to appease the people who still wish it was 1940. I just think it's disgraceful that a team like the Pirates, who spend no money, never win and continually give their fans the finger have a better place to play baseball than the Boston Red Sox. Also, maybe if they built a stadium with a higher capacity we wouldn't have to pay $125 for good seats. There is a reason that Baltimore gets overrun with Sox fans every time the team comes to town - because it's cheaper to fly to Baltimore and sit in a nice stadium than it is for two people to shoehorn themselves into Fenway Park for a game. Seriously, 92 years is a good run - lets get someplace new.
-In my attempt to be more worldly and follow soccer a little more closely (it is the biggest sport in the world, after all) I stumbled upon some big news today... well, "big" could depend on your perspective and interest level in soccer. The people in charge of such things are unhappy with the progress that Brazil is making as they prepare to host the next World Cup. Officials feel as though the country is well behind their schedule to build stadiums to host the event... in 2014. Maybe they should all relax their standards a bit. Shouldn't they get through this year's World Cup before worrying about the next go round? I mean, how long does it take to build a soccer stadium? It's honestly a circle with lots of seats. New Yankee Stadium with all its bells, whistles and shitty, expensive, obstructed views, went up in no time. Also, it isn't as though they are hosting the Olympics and need 19 different venues. If you're two years out and the place isn't on schedule then, yes, you can start to get worried. But being unhappy about behind schedule four years out seems like they are just worrying for the sake of worrying. Though, I guess when you are in charge of something that only takes place every four years you have a lot of free time to kill and thus you need to look busy.
-Lastly, we bring you photographic evidence of why you should maybe not build your football stadium next to a river. There have been some big storms going through Tennessee lately and as such the rivers are rising. To alleviate the pressure on a local dam, engineers decided to open it up and let the water rush through, as a sort of controlled overflow. The only problem seems to be for the Tennessee Titans, who's stadium is next to that river, because now their field is underwater.
The engineers were nice enough to give them some warning and as a result they managed to turn the power of at the place, but, damn - that is gonna wreck the turf.
Now, I don't want some domed, lifeless monstrosity like they have down in Tampa Bay, but if they put some effort into it then I'm sure they could come up with a plan that would make the place nice enough to appease the people who still wish it was 1940. I just think it's disgraceful that a team like the Pirates, who spend no money, never win and continually give their fans the finger have a better place to play baseball than the Boston Red Sox. Also, maybe if they built a stadium with a higher capacity we wouldn't have to pay $125 for good seats. There is a reason that Baltimore gets overrun with Sox fans every time the team comes to town - because it's cheaper to fly to Baltimore and sit in a nice stadium than it is for two people to shoehorn themselves into Fenway Park for a game. Seriously, 92 years is a good run - lets get someplace new.
-In my attempt to be more worldly and follow soccer a little more closely (it is the biggest sport in the world, after all) I stumbled upon some big news today... well, "big" could depend on your perspective and interest level in soccer. The people in charge of such things are unhappy with the progress that Brazil is making as they prepare to host the next World Cup. Officials feel as though the country is well behind their schedule to build stadiums to host the event... in 2014. Maybe they should all relax their standards a bit. Shouldn't they get through this year's World Cup before worrying about the next go round? I mean, how long does it take to build a soccer stadium? It's honestly a circle with lots of seats. New Yankee Stadium with all its bells, whistles and shitty, expensive, obstructed views, went up in no time. Also, it isn't as though they are hosting the Olympics and need 19 different venues. If you're two years out and the place isn't on schedule then, yes, you can start to get worried. But being unhappy about behind schedule four years out seems like they are just worrying for the sake of worrying. Though, I guess when you are in charge of something that only takes place every four years you have a lot of free time to kill and thus you need to look busy.
-Lastly, we bring you photographic evidence of why you should maybe not build your football stadium next to a river. There have been some big storms going through Tennessee lately and as such the rivers are rising. To alleviate the pressure on a local dam, engineers decided to open it up and let the water rush through, as a sort of controlled overflow. The only problem seems to be for the Tennessee Titans, who's stadium is next to that river, because now their field is underwater.
The engineers were nice enough to give them some warning and as a result they managed to turn the power of at the place, but, damn - that is gonna wreck the turf.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
A Musical Summary Of The News
Boston and the surrounding towns are under a boil water order because of a massive water main break outside of the city (and yes, it includes Norwood). Because of that I've had these two songs in my head for the last day. And since I can't decide which is more appropriate, you're getting both.
Dave Matthews Band - "Don't Drink the Water"
The Standells - "Dirty Water"
Dave Matthews Band - "Don't Drink the Water"
The Standells - "Dirty Water"
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