I Need A Secretary

I know my handwriting is horrible. Believe me, it has been brought to my attention. If it wasn't clear from the teacher in high school who refused to let me write out my essays in those little blue books, instead making me go next door to the computer lab to type out my thoughts on Shakespeare, then I would have still figured it out from the fact that I once got the pinkie finger on my writing hand caught in a car door the night before the English SAT2s (which featured multiple essay questions), didn't have time to get my finger looked at, had to write essentially holding my pencil with two fingers and yet my handwriting looked exactly the same. The time I tried to write a heart-felt love note to my girlfriend in a Valentine's Day card, only she had to pause to ask me "What word is this?" three or four times was also a helpful hint. I get it, I should have been a doctor. Still, I always said that no matter the problems that anyone else was having with it, at least I could read my own scribbles.

Unfortunately, that streak has to end today. Like most people who fancy themselves as writers, I like to keep a notepad near me. I use it to frequently jot down blog post ideas as they pop into me head so that I have something to ramble about on a day when nothing else comes to mind. Before today I had never had a problem reading my own handwriting or whatever shorthand I wrote triggering the memory of what I wanted to write about. For example, I just have "Skype" on one of the lines and I know exactly what that post is meant to be about. But, what I wanted to write about today is a complete mystery. As near as I can tell my note says "iPod Entil." I couldn't even wager a guess as to what that means. Making this worse is that I wrote that note yesterday. So, not only is my handwriting bad, but my memory is shit. I tried going over yesterday's browsing history to see if that would help me remember what it was supposed to be, but I got nothing. I didn't even use my iPod yesterday. I bought new ear buds, but that is neither funny nor interesting enough to warrant an entire post. It might say iPad, but I don't have one and don't really have an opinion on them, so I doubt that is it. I don't have a clue what I wanted to say. I can only hope it was neither that funny or interesting.

-Did you see Floyd Landis come out yesterday and declare that despite years and years of denial he had, in fact, been cheating from pretty much the moment he picked up a bicycle? And, oh yeah, Lance Armstrong taught him to do it and is a huge cheater as well. Now, there are people out there who want to praise Floyd and his decision to come clean because they say he had nothing to gain at this point. I, on the other hand, contend that he is only doing this now because he already sold his book in which he said he never cheated, has lost every appeal he has at his disposal so he will never get his Tour de France win back and thinks that a confession book may yield him some money. At this point he figured he's going down, so why not take as many people down with him as he can? The question is whether or not you believe him about Armstrong, because no one really cares that Landis cheated. I have to say that, unfortunately, I kind of do. I just find it impossible to believe that, in a sport where everyone seems to be doping all the time, one guy was not only clean for 7 years, but able to beat all the guys who were juicing. Of course, Armstrong has never tested positive, which is a claim Landis can not make. But, if it comes out that he did cheat I wouldn't be anywhere near the realm of surprised. I'm just going to need someone with a lot less of an axe to grind than Landis before I fully believe it (and no, a France doping agency isn't going to cut it either).