Five Thoughts On A Saturday

-So, who knew that Kevin Costner was going to be the guy to step up to try and solve the oil spill? Apparently Costner has spent about $24 million of his own money to hire scientists to work on a machine that separates oil and water, solving just this kind of crisis. Frankly, I don't even care if his idea is all that great, at least he wants to try something new. Also, anything that will distract him long enough to prevent making the proposed Bull Durham sequel is alright in my eyes.

-We're officially entering the stage of his career when I like David Ortiz a little bit less every time he opens his mouth. When the positive steroid tests came to light every Red Sox fan made excuses and pointed out that MLB's own lawyer was at his side during his press conference, something none of the other people who popped positive could claim. We offered alternative reasons for his poor start last year and stayed with him when most fan bases would have bailed already. With another slow start this season fans started to get impatient, but most were willing to trust Francona to know when to make the switch and thought Ortiz had earned the time to try and break his slump. But, when he goes on the radio and essentially throws Francona under the bus for pitch hitting for him in Toronto and then says all the people who turned on him should shut up because, "They've never swung the bat at this level" that is when he loses me. Last year, Francona stuck with Ortiz a lot longer than he probably should have, so his loyalty to David deserved more respect than that. Also, the "you never played at this level" comeback is the laziest and cry-babiest excuse any pro athlete ever uses. You know when they fall back on that it's because they can't think of an actual excuse as to why they are playing so badly.

-I was flipping around the other night and paused briefly on the E! Channel. They were showing the movie, The Craft, under the headline of "Movies We Love." Oh, E! Channel, you don't have to lie to me. You don't love The Craft. No one loves the movie The Craft. Even the stars of The Craft don't love it. Instead of lying to us, just call the movie block what it actually is: "Movies would could get the rights to cheaply, so we don't have to show more repeats of The Soup."

-Yesterday I was talking about how bad my handwriting is. Well, the only thing I do worse than write is draw pictures. But, at least I know I am terrible and don't try to draw for a living. The other day as I was putting the new battery in my mom's car, I was opening a package of corrosion arrestors, those little pieces of felt that go around the towers. The drawings on the back of the package were the worst things I have ever seen. Illustrations are supposed to be there in case the person can't read or follow the directions, but as near as I can tell these drawings were just telling you to cover the battery with your hand. If you ever buy a package of these things I suggest you take the time to read the back, because if you just try and follow the pictures it will not work out for you.

-At the PGA Tour stop this weekend in Dallas, a local 16 year-old high school junior named Jordan Spieth not only qualified to play, but made the cut and was in the top-10. On Friday, his high school gave his fellow students the day off so that they could go to the tournament and support him. Now, I liked a lot of kids I went to high school with, but if I was given a free Friday off out of the blue, I am highly doubtful that I would have wanted to spend it following a classmate around the golf course. I hope any teachers there took attendance, because my guess is that a lot of kids instead spent the day at the mall.