It's Not A Tumor

For the last couple of weeks, the area around my left elbow has been bothering me with what I think is some kind of nerve or muscle thing. It's not bad, but basically I get the pins-and-needles feeling once in a while and it's kind of annoying. I'm not a doctor, but I would guess it's because I don't sit ergonomically and lean my forearms on the edge of my desk when I type. There is probably a better way to sit so I could avoid this problem and I'm trying to be conscious of that. In the mean time, I wanted to see if I could find any kind of treatment online to alleviate the symptoms and so I went to WebMD to find out what the technical name for this ailment might be.

I had heard about people who are obsessed with WebMD becoming severe hypochondriacs, but until I visited for myself I never knew the reason - it's because WebMD automatically goes to the worst possible scenario. Now, occasionally I'm sure that works out. Just a couple weeks ago a pitcher for the San Diego Padres self-diagnosed himself with appendicitis using WebMD. Still, the site is like that friend everyone has that assumes the worst every single time. I was on the symptom checker (which, despite my problems, is kind of a cool little program) and had the following exchange with my computer:

WebMD: What is the problem area?
Me: Left arm.
WebMD: You're having a heart attack. Get to a hospital.
Me: I am not having a heart attack.
WebMD: What are your symptoms?
Me: Sort of a tingling sensation.
WebMD: Told you, heart attack. Get to a hospital.
Me: It is not a heart attack.
WebMD: Is the pain only in one arm?
Me: Yes.
WebMD: Oh, you're having a stroke then. Get to a hospital.
Me: I'm not having a stroke. Strokes don't go away by stretching. Plus, it's only in my elbow.
WebMD: Could be a blood clot.
Me: I doubt it. I think it's more like a pinched nerve or something.
WebMD: Does the pain ever travel?
Me: Eh, occasionally up to my tricep.
WebMD: Well, my money is still on stroke. But it could be a severe nerve disorder. Maybe you have MS!
Me: What's with the exclamation point? It makes you seem almost excited at that thought.
WebMD: Of course not. It's concerned excitement. Just want you to have all the options.
Me: Any other suggestions?
WebMD: Umm... Lyme disease, lead poisoning, spinal stenosis.
Me: No, no and no.
WebMD: Oh, I'm sorry. Where did you get your medical degree from?
Me: Look, I just think it's something more common.
WebMD: Fine, do you play sports?
Me: Yeah, I golf.
WebMD: Is your swing bad?
Me: Terrible.
WebMD: It's probably golfer's elbow.
Me: That's a thing?
WebMD: Yeah. It's like tennis elbow. Treatment is ice, rest, see a doctor if the pain persists, blah, blah, blah... BOR-RING!
Me: Well, that seems much more likely.
WebMD: My money is still on heart attack.
Me: If it's all the same to you, I'm gonna go with ice, Advil and rest.
WebMD: Whatever. You're going to be dead soon.

Alright, fine, I made that last part up. But, you get my point. Not every medical problem needs to turn into an episode of House. Perhaps the program could be tweaked to list more common ailments first. I feel like it would save a lot of people unneeded stress.