...And It's Ruined

Saturday night I ventured out with a couple of buddies to the Atlantic Beer Garden, located on Boston's waterfront. We picked this bar specifically for it's location on the water, because there is no better spot to be than on a roofdeck in Boston on a warm, spring evening. The view of the city lit up on a gorgeous night was awesome and reminded me why I really don't ever want to live anywhere else.

The only problem was the music. Admittedly, I've fallen out of the music scene in the past couple of years. While I used to be plugged in with who the new up-and-coming musical acts were, now I've got no idea who half these bands even are, as evidenced by the fact that the majority of the bar was signing along to a song I've never heard before. Personally, I blame the terrible crop of DJs that Boston has to offer. Most of them are so boring I would rather listen to the same songs on my iPod versus some old guy trying to sound hip while the in-studio babe tries not to sound like an idiot. [Sidebar: the in-studio babe is a staple of morning radio which I have never understood, because who cares how hot she is... it's radio. She could be the most attractive woman in the world and it does me no good.]

It wouldn't be so bad if my displeasure at the music was simply a product of my laziness in not working hard enough to stay connected to the music scene. I could live with that. But the far more disturbing thing was when I would start to hear the opening riff of a song I actually knew and loved... only to hear it quickly under-cut by a techno baseline. Now, I have long been an opponent of techno music. I simply don't get the appeal of the same baseline thumping into my ears over and over again for 15 minutes at a time, sounding as if the CD was a scratch. But, I also understand my musical tastes may not be for everyone, so I was willing to leave techno alone. All I ever wanted was for them to respect my music in the same way. But they don't. The new thing is to take a rock song from the mid-90s and early 00s and give it a techno 'remix'. The DJs who do this tell you it is because they want to "freshen up" the song. (Please note, they did not say "improve.")

I don't like remixing songs any more than I like re-making movies. In both cases I find the attempt by one person to make something better in their eyes usually ends up wrecking the original for the rest of us. I just want to know who told these people that what they were doing was a good idea. Did no one stand up to them and say, "Honestly, it's fine the way it is. Why don't you try making something new and creative on your own?" (I'll answer my own question here: it's because they don't know how to actually be original, which is why they get a job playing everyone else's music for a living.)

Look, I know that this practice is just going to continue no matter what I say, so I'll offer this compromise to the remix DJs out there: leave pre-2000 music alone. I'm giving you 11 years worth of music to take and shape however you wish, just stop messing with the good stuff. Half the music that comes out today is pretty bad, so you can't really screw it up. Who knows, maybe you can take a song that flopped and turn it into a hit without the young people in the bar realising it had been released before. I'm sure the one-hit wonders can use the royalty checks a lot more than Guns 'N Roses anyway.