Weekly Sporties

-In the wake of the Celtics elimination from the NBA Playoffs, GM Danny Ainge has stated that next season they may start Jeff Green and bring Paul Pierce off the bench as a way to cut down on Pierce's minutes and develop Green. Allow me to translate Danny's comments for you: "I made a God-awful trade at the deadline that ended up making us much worse and probably cost us a chance to win the Eastern Conference. To try and cover that fact up, I'm going to make it sound like we still believe in Jeff Green and grooming him as the future of the franchise was my plan all along, even though we all know that's not the case. Please don't fire me."

-After the Lakers were swept by the Mavericks, everyone began penciling Dwight Howard into their line-up for next season. At first I was worried about that happening as well, but the more I think about it the less I think it will make the Lakers that much better. After all, they will still be running through Kobe, who will be a year older and I'm not sure that Dwight Howard is that much better offensively than Pau Gasol. He would make them much tougher on defense, but I'm don't think pairing him with an aging Bryant makes the Lakers much better than they are now, especially if they have to send Bynum and Odom back the other way. Frankly, I'm much more worried the Lakers could end up with Russell Westbrook, because there would be no alpha-dog issues there and he would be an incredible upgrade to their point guard position. Actually, let's stop talking about this, because it's already making me nervous.

-One last NBA note: due to the recent flooding in Tennessee, it feels like the NBA has been pushing their announcers to pump up the angle of the Grizzlies being a ray of hope for the Memphis area, like the Saints were for New Orleans following Katrina. Well, while I appreciate the media effort, it's not the same. The Saints were always big in New Orleans, whereas the Grizzlies have more sell-outs in these playoffs than they had for the entire regular season. If they Grizzlies left tomorrow about four people would be upset and none of them would be players.

-Speaking of teams that don't matter in their own region: the city of Glendale recently voted to give $25 million dollars for upgrades to the hockey arena and effectively keep the Coyotes in Phoenix for another season. Um, why? I don't think they would make that money back if they had a five-year deal in place. It feels like a lot of money to delay the inevitable.

-Staying in Arizona, the Fiesta Bowl was allowed to keep its status as a BCS Bowl after paying a $1 million fine for improper use of funds. Personally, I am really surprised. I would have thought the BCS would have used any excuse to bring the Cotton Bowl and Jerry Jones' billion-dollar complex into their fold. It leads me to believe that every bowl is just as corrupt and they figure their day is going to come, at which point they can turn to the Fiesta Bowl people and say, "Remember when we stood by you?" Because, as we all know, it's always the high-and-mighty people who have the most skeletons buried in the most closets.

-One last note on a similar theme: various newspapers in England printed stories this week about how the people in charge of choosing the next World Cup site essentially showed up with their hands out, ready for their vote to be bought. And in equally shocking news, the sky is blue. You mean to tell me the hot, dry country smaller than Connecticut with no soccer tradition and strict religious laws wasn't picked on it's own merits? Who would have thought? Oh right, everybody who didn't get paid.