Betcha Can't Eat Just One

This morning we learned of the passing of 97 year-old Arch West, better known as the creator of Doritos. Mr. West has said he wants to be buried with some of his chips, which is just an insane enough idea to make sense. After all, Doritos seems to be one of the more 'out there' companies. For example, did you know that in 2008 Doritos beamed a commercial into outer space, aimed at solar system 42 light years away that scientists think contains planets capable of sustaining life? It's a pretty sound way to stay in business: "Mr. President, you have to give us that government bail-out money. You wouldn't want aliens showing up, expecting Doritos and then not have any for them, would you?"

Now, there are people out there who don't like Doritos. At least, I'm told they exist. Much like Bigfoot, I have never seen one in person. If they do, I can only assume it is because they haven't tried the right flavor yet. There are literally dozens of flavors of Doritos, although not all are readily available. Some are only for sale in certain geographic locations. So, to be fair, you can't really say you don't like Doritos until you have tried them in all their variations. With that in mind, here are my top five flavors of Doritos (at least, of the ones that I have tried).

1. Cool Ranch: This wasn't really a surprise, right? Pretty much everyone thinks Cool Ranch is the best.

2. Nacho Cheese: Considering it is the original flavor of Doritos I couldn't put it any lower. There was no way it was getting past Cool Ranch, though.

3. Pizza Supreme: These tastes like Nacho Cheese, but with more emphasis on the cheese and less on everything else. I like pizza, I like Doritos; very low chance of failure here.

4. Buffalo & Ranch: I don't usually like things which are 'buffalo' in nature, whether they are wings or anything else. But I found these to be pretty good. Behold the power of Doritos.

5. Toasted Corn: Essentially, these are nothing more than plain chips. I assume these came into existence simply because Doritos didn't just want to concede defeat to Tostitos. It is kind of hard to screw corn chips up.

These are just a few of the many Doritos flavors which are still available and that's just in the United States. Seriously, you should see what some other countries are willing to put on their chips. (I doubt even the most adventurous eater is anxious to rip into a bag of seaweed-flavored Doritos.) Still, whatever your preferred flavor, raise a bag for Mr. West.