The Final Act

So, last night curiosity got the better of me and I found myself tuning in to see how they would handle getting rid of Charlie Sheen's character on "Two and a Half Men" and replacing him with Ashton Kutcher. Apparently, I was not alone in this, as early ratings have as many as 28 million people clicking over. (If that number stays the same for next week I will be both stunned and saddened at the same time.) The character change wasn't particularly exciting, because everyone knew it was coming. If they had been able to keep the secret of who was replacing Charlie Sheen a little better than they probably could have gotten an even bigger number. As it is I am curious to see how many of those alleged 28 million stayed passed the first four minutes when we found out how the writers killed Sheen off, because that was really the only mystery remaining (and I have to say, given how much time they had to think of it, it was a little under-whelming). After that, as it was pointed out by numerous people on Twitter, we're back to it just being "Two and a Half Men" and no one needs to stick around for that.

Character switches are always tricky on TV and I'm not sure this switch is going to work out in the long run. Ironically, Kutcher should know this better than most because he was on "That 70's Show". When Topher Grace left and they tried to replace him with the unfunny Meyers brother while making the guy with the accent the focus of the show, Kutcher saw the writing on the wall and bailed before that season started. So, if anyone should know better than to try and make the 'comic relief-guy' into the main star, it's Ashton Kutcher. I give it a couple seasons before the network decides to move in another direction.

Still, whatever you may think of the show, these situations do tend to get people interested. America loves a good scandal as long as we're not personally involved in it. Honestly, I highly doubt Ashton Kutcher's last three movies were seen by 28 million people combined. And it is working out well for Sheen, too. Apparently his Comedy Central Roast, which also aired last night, was among the highest-rated one of them all. (That does seem to be a pretty low bar, though. I don't remember there being much buzz around the roast of Flavor Flav or Pamela Anderson. Oh, and to all the people on the Internet who offended by Amy Schumer's joke during the roast, apparently you don't know what a roast is.) It seems as though everyone involved has been able to wring every last dollar out of this particular story.

Which brings me to the point of this post: you can all go away now. I don't want to hear any more about goddesses, winning, sniping back and forth in the media or dueling lawsuits. There was a great article on Grantland.com a few weeks ago saying that being named as a Hall of Famer was both the best and worst thing that could ever happen to an athlete. One the on hand they were recognized as one of the best to ever play their sport. On the other, there was no need to talk about them anymore. I mean, what more can you say about a guy after he's been named to the Hall of Fame? There is nothing left to discuss, nothing left to argue about and no higher praise can ever be given. That's how I feel about this Charlie Sheen story: both sides are coming out OK and now that the show has re-launch with a new star there is nothing more to say about either side. Every mystery has been solved. They all can go back to working on their respective shows. I just hope they don't expect 28 million people to still be interested next week, otherwise they are all going to be really disappointed.