Nothing To See Here

When I was working in radio, the thing I loathed above all else (even more than the program director coming in to tell us something that we all instantly knew was incorrect, proving that we were all smarter than our boss) was tours coming through the radio station. You see, when people come in radio stations it's very exciting for them. It's very cool to see the face behind the voice and the studio where all the famous people have visited. (I'm not making fun of those people, either. I totally get their enthusiasm. It was an exciting place to work for the first few weeks for the employees as well. Then it just became a job.) Because the people who worked at the station know how excited those people were to be there, it filled us with this feeling like we should be doing something. And when it comes to radio, there just isn't much you can do to look busy. Frankly, for the people in the studio, it's a pressure we just didn't want to face.

That is why I don't get the recent surge in radio stations simulcasting their radio shows on a TV station. It seems like every week some sports station is announcing that you will now be able to watch the radio show online or through some sister TV station. I would love to know who is watching these simulcasts. Watching a radio show is like watching paint dry. Sure, it's all the fun of eavesdropping on a stranger's conversation without having to look like you're eavesdropping, but that appeal goes away pretty quickly. After that point you're just watching a couple of guys talk about the Patriots secondary and can't chime in about how wrong they are.

You know the hosts can't be happy about this for two reasons. One, they are suddenly working for two stations and I can guarantee you that they aren't getting any additional pay. Secondly (and this is the big one), now they have to be TV-ready every day. One of the biggest appeals to working in radio is the ability to show up without having to care about people seeing you. You need to be showered, can't wear anything offensive and beyond that if there are no holes in your pants you're golden. One time I wore khakis to work and then spent all day being asked if I had an interview or a funeral to go to. Now these same people are going to be broadcast on TV every day? That is a recipe for disaster.

Now, this all started with Howard Stern but his show needed to be put on TV. He was doing so much outrageous stuff people demanded to see it. No one is demanding the opportunity to see a couple of former NFL linemen sit around and debate who was better in the 1980s. I'm sure these shows are put on the air for the same reason any show is put on the air: money. It's easier and cheaper to stick a camera in the corner of a studio than to hire a couple new, better-looking talking heads, build them a fancy set and then ask them to do the exact same thing the radio people are doing. The thing is while talk is cheap, cheaper doesn't always equal interesting. After all, there is a reason all those morning talk shows have cooking segments. You can only watch people blather on for so long... but at least those people are dressed for it.