Four Quick Ones

-The other day I was out having drinks with friends and went to get into my truck at the end of the night. I hit the unlock button on my remote and found that nothing happened. I hit it again and still the doors didn't unlock. I suddenly had visions of not being able to get into my truck and found myself wondering just how the hell was I going to fix this. Would I call a locksmith? It was late, would they still even be around? Would I have to break into my own car? Fortunately the third time was the charm, the doors opens and I proceeded home, feeling very lucky. It was not until several hours later that it dawned on me that during this entire time I had car keys in my hand. You know, the very thing people use when confronted with things like locked doors. I could have very easily opened the door, but I never even thought about using keys. I can't totally be blamed for this, because in the four years of owning my truck I have never once used the key to unlock the door, it has always been the remote. I'm just out of the habit. Still, it is moments like this that make me really worried. If I'm this bad now, it is only going to worse.

-Driving down the road yesterday a woman sped up to get in front of me, pulled into my lane and promptly slowed down. Fantastic. Loyal readers know this is a particular pet peeve of mine, as if you feel like you have to be in my lane you could just as easily wait until I've passed you to pull in. But, I was willing to let it go, right up until I saw the woman's licence plate: SUZYQ. For some reason, that just made her more annoying to me. I think it was because it made her annoying me more personal. If it was all the same to you, drivers of Massachusetts, I think I prefer to keep our road rage incidents anonymous.

-In a restaurant I saw an item which advertised "Irish Bacon" on the burgers. Full of wonder I ordered the sandwich, wondering just what made this bacon so Irish. Did they feed the pigs Guinness? Did they have a brogue? Were they wearing knit wool sweaters when the farmers took them down? Well, unfortunately, I don't have any answers for you because not only did I not taste any difference in the bacon, I could barely taste it at all. Then again, maybe that was what made it Irish - any and all taste had been boiled out of it. If anyone knows the answer to this I would greatly appreciate the knowledge.

-I'm gonna weigh in on the Joe Paterno stuff a little bit more on Saturday, but can I just say again how much I hate it when non-sports columnists write about sports? Most of them are not sports fans and are writing about a culture and mentality they know little about. Because of this, most of them keep going back to the same point that sports aren't really important in the grand scheme of things. Yeah, well, to some people they are. Those same people might find some of the stuff you normally write and care about really irrelevant, but at least they have the common courtesy to leave you alone and not point out to you how stupid we think your stuff might be. Just because a sports story has turned into a national story, that doesn't mean every columnist in the op-ed section with a deadline is required to write about it. Believe me, the sports department has plenty of opinions of their own and most of them will come from a much more well-informed position. You wouldn't allow the jocks to weigh in on the political debates or the Occupy Wall Street movement, so how about you leave the sports talk to the professionals.