The Sounds Of Silence

Early yesterday morning I had to stop and get some gas. As I was the only person filling up at the time, it was dead silent. It was that kind of silence which allows you to hear things you normally wouldn't and it was because it was so quiet around me that I was able to notice that the pump I was using was not making any noise, which I found to be odd. Normally you can hear the gas traveling through the hoses or at least the pumps kicking on after you have been filling up for a while. Instead I got nothing. These were clearly new pumps which were much more efficient than the old versions and therefore worked without making as much noise. Admittedly, given the hour and the fact that I was working off 4 hours of sleep meant I was only about 90% awake, but for half a second I wasn't even sure I was getting any gas at all. I thought the dial was going to roll through and I would get into my car to discover the gas needle had not move. After I scolded myself for being such an idiot, I still came to a conclusion: I'm not totally sure I like how silent things are nowadays. I don't need loud banging, but I have decided that I definitely prefer some noise from my machines to let me know they are working.

My previous vehicle always had a steady rumble emitting from under the hood, even when at a complete stop. In fact, the only time it was ever totally quiet was when it mysteriously turned off on me while I was cruising down the highway at 70 mph (and people wondered why I never wanted to do road trips in that truck). As such it was never a thump or the grinding of gears that make my ears perk up, it was silence. That is why the biggest adjustment I had to make when I bought my new truck was coming to grips with the fact that owning a car made in this century means the engine is still running well enough that it doesn't make any noise as long as nothing is broken. I have to say, it was not an easy adjustment. When you are used to noise, silence can very uncomfortable. Seriously, for the first couple of months I thought the truck stalled out at every red light. The only way I could reassure myself that everything was still working was to take my foot off the brake and have let the truck roll forward a little. That new car which shuts itself off every time the car is at a red light would probably give me an ulcer (also, I would absolutely break it).

My computer is the same way. Even now I find a strange level of comfort in the gentle hum that comes from my tower. When my computer freezes I want to hear something inside making noise, because that is usually the only way I know the machine is still working to resolve the problem. Some of the programs I run typically take a few minutes to get going and if my computer was silent I think more than half the time I would get impatient and re-boot. Household appliances are another thing which need to make noise for you to be sure they operational. Hell, the fact that it rumbles and shakes is the best and easiest way to know if a washing machine is done - just go to the stairs and listen. If you can't hear it, it's done. The fact that it is so noisy saves you from having to walk up or down a flight of stairs. And even the quietest dishwasher will still make enough noise that you can be sure it is done without having to leave the next room. It's just as good as a baby monitor.

Speaking of the kids, my preference for noise doesn't just apply to machines, either. Whenever I am watching kids I want to them to make as much noise as possible. Silence can be deafening while babysitting. Have you ever been watching a kid and realized that they have been way too quiet for way too long? It's petrifying. (For those wondering "too long" depends on the kid. For some it's a couple minutes, others it's 20 seconds.) Sure, there are certain children you can leave alone and if they are not making noise it is not a big deal, as you can confidently assume they are quietly playing or drawing. But, with some other kids silence means they are just pausing so that the crash they are about to make is even louder and the most damaging. Even worse, it could mean they have escaped. Suddenly you find yourself sprinting through the house, half-expecting to find them standing on top of the kitchen table. That's why I'll take hearing the same song on repeat for hours on end over silence any day of the week.

So, I admit that if my life was a movie I would be the person always looking around going, "It's quiet... too quiet." What's nice to know is that I am far from the only person who feels this way. (Crazy always enjoys company.) On a recent episode of "Top Gear" they revealed that even though it was possible to make cars that would change gears without the slightest indication several manufacturers has purposely left in transmissions which made their brand-new cars jolt ever so slightly while shifting because consumers found the motion and shifting sound reassuring in letting them know the car had done what it was supposed to. Basically, we all want our stuff to work, we just also need some way for that stuff to let us know it is working because for too many of us quiet = broken. I want you to remember that next time you complain about some machine being too loud as it does whatever action it has been tasked with: the alternative is just as uncomfortable and often ends up being more expensive.