Money To Burn

As we slowly inch closer to election day in November, it appears as though one of the recurring themes of this elections is going to be the massive amounts of money being donated to both sides of the aisles by the so-called "Super PACs (Political Action Committees)". These organizations are technically not affiliated with the candidates and therefore can work around the campaign finance issues, spending as much money as they feel like on things like attack ads. (If you believe some of the doom-and-gloom stories which are coming out every single day, it sounds as though by October we won't even have actual commercials anymore, as all the spots are being bought up for political ads. As a man who pretty much loathes politics, I am not looking forward to that.) Now, I don't really know enough about the Super PACs to comment on whether or not they should be so involved in the election process, so we'll leave that for a day when I've done a little more research. Instead I want to focus on the people who are giving all this money to these organizations, because to me they are totally fascinating.

Recently I was reading an article about a fundraiser for Republican nominee Mitt Romney. It was a VIP party for every donor who had either given or raised $250,000 for his campaign. In this day and age where it is regularly reported actors, musicians, athletes and CEOs are being given salaries worth millions of dollars I think sometimes people get a little numb to the numbers and forget that is still a lot of money. But, it wasn't the amount donated by each person which caught by eye, it was the number of attendees - 750. That is a lot of people who have given a lot of money. (Before we go any further, yes, I am well aware President Obama has the exact same kind of fundraisers. I just saw the Romney article more recently and that is why I'm using it as the example. Save yourself the time of emailing.) On top of that you hear of these various billionaires who donated tens of millions of dollars like it is nothing. I'm just really curious to know who these people are that have made so much money they are willing to throw it away like this. I often think about what it would be like to be that rich and I imagine that at some point you just run out of things to buy. However, that doesn't mean donating it to a political campaign is all that much smarter than spending it to get three of every item in the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog.

I know you get a tax break for political donations, but it ain't that great of a tax break. Outside of a fancy dinner where the food probably isn't that good, all you really get when you donate to any political cause is placed on a list of people that organization should call the next time they want more money. Basically, you're paying for the right to be hounded for money later. It is human nature to want to associate with winners and some of these big-spending donors might think this is the best way to influence the election. After all, what good is money if it doesn't buy you any power? Also, I'll grant you that it probably feel damn cool to write a check that large, but I can't imagine you will be getting that much influence for getting one man elected, even if it is to the most powerful job in the land. In that respect it seems like bad return on your investment. For tens of millions of dollars of campaign contributions I would want half a dozen Congressmen at my beck and call, not one President. (How did these people make so much money, yet make such poor business decisions?) Seriously, if you have that much money to throw away you either need a hobby or to start a charity.

Recently, some of these groups have started calling me looking for donations which I find hysterical because, wow, are those guys barking up the wrong tree. While those around me are pretty well aware of my politics, I try to keep my thoughts private to the outside world, which is probably another reason I don't see the sense in giving money to politicians. I don't try to talk undecided people into voting one way or the other and appreciate it if they would pay me the same courtesy. Also, unless I am directly related to a candidate, you won't see me sticking signs on my front lawn. I happen to think those signs are useless, because even the most easily-manipulated person isn't going to be swayed by finding out their neighbor is voting for one guy over another. (Actually, given how well most neighbors get along, I would dare say finding out which way my neighbor is leaning would be more of a hindrance than a help to that particular candidate.) Mostly, I feel like the front-yard political sign is ego-driven, because it means the person in that house has such an inflated opinion of themselves that they actual think the people around them care who they are voting for.

It is the same ego-maniacal thinking with the political-themed bumper-stickers, only bumper stickers are worse because the message is intended to reach more people and they last much longer. I still see stickers for elections which happened years ago; a fact that blows my mind. Even if the bumper sticker supported the guy who won I'm not impressed. Instead, I'm sitting behind them in traffic thinking "It was 6 years ago, let it go. Have you not had a personal victory since then?" And if it is for the candidate that loses, not only does that bumper sticker hurts your car's resale value but I know it makes me devalue the driver, because now I know they make bad choices in life. Not only that, but since the sticker is still there that means they haven't let it go yet and if we engage in a conversation they are probably going to start complaining about an election from 2007. In other words, the only message your bumper political sticker is sending out is that we shouldn't hang out, ever. (In that regard it is like every other bumper sticker in the world.) The only difference is that at least with the "My Child Is An Honor Student" sticker I will pretend to care what you are saying.