A Pretty Pass

I'm not usually the type to be impressed by cars. Mostly that comes from the fact that I don't know much about engines, so when someone starts quoting stats about how much horsepower is under the hood they may as well be speaking a foreign language. That level of ignorance really takes some of the admiration out of it. Also, the practical part of me happens to know that a new car is a pretty terrible investment. I don't care how good a deal a person thinks they managed to talk the sales guy into, deep down they have to know that the dealership really won, because that car went down in value the second they drove it off the lot. I can never really get passed that part. All that is not to say I don't appreciate the engineering or the craftsmanship which goes into building a new car, just that I'm not necessarily the guy you should come to if you want someone to ooh and ah over your latest purchase. However, lately I have been noticing expensive cars more. It could be that in a summer of reruns I have been watching more "Top Gear" on BBC America than usual. But whatever the reason, in paying special attention to the more expensive brands of cars on the road I have made a somewhat surprising discovery - they are really good at getting me to move.

No one likes to have the car directly behind them riding so close you can hear their radio louder than your own, but that is just part of driving. They say you should keep 100 feet between cars, but most people get a lot closer than that if they think the car in front of them is going too& slow. Normally I think of myself as pretty good about keeping up with the flow of traffic so that no one has to get that close, but lately my fellow Massholes have made it clear they think I could be doing a little better. They seem intent on getting me to pick up the pace and think the best way to do it is ride 5 feet off my back bumper even though they could simply go around me. Typically I will take the hint and switch lanes (while hoping there is a speed trap set up down the road), but not always. If I feel like I'm at a speed which is keeping up with the traffic around me sometimes I get stubborn and decide that if you are in such a damn hurry than you can be the one to go around me because I don't want to go any faster. It can simply depend on my mood that day, but in thinking about it I have also discovered that whether or not I feel like getting out of someone's way is directly related to how nice their car is.

The other afternoon I was driving around and a man in a beat-up Jeep was riding close behind me. I could have gotten out of his way, but simply didn't feel like being charitable and moving over. For whatever reason I got a bad vibe from him and decided in half a second that if this guy wanted to get passed me he would have to go around. I wanted to know what his big hurry was, but then I figured you can't enjoy driving in car like that, so he was probably speeding to get his trip over as quickly as possible. Or maybe he has to get to places early enough to find a parking spot behind the building so no one sees what a crappy car he drives. Whatever his reason for driving like a maniac, I wasn't inclined to reward him for it. However, this afternoon a very nice new Mercedes was doing pretty much the exact same move and without giving it much thought I merged over and let the guy zoom passed me. While I was changing lanes it hit me just how quick I was to accommodate this driver, despite the fact they were being just as much of a jerk for tailgating as the douchebag in the Jeep.

Some of my haste to move may have to do with knowing a newer car has more power and therefore I don't have to worry about this car pulling in front of me and then slowing down, but I think it mostly has to do with respecting a nice car more than a piece of crap. As someone who honestly doesn't believe people should be defined by what kind of car they drive or what brand of clothing they were, the fact it may subconsciously be part of my brain kind of disturbs me. I'm sure that at its core this instinct to get out the way of expensive brand of automobiles goes back to the same thing which makes babies in studies gravitate towards people with symmetrical features - namely, people naturally prefer to look at nice things versus things which have gotten a little worn down. Still, the rest of my brain has had 32 years to figure out that cars don't mean anything, because often the guy with the nicest car is just a superficial jerk. You would think all those years of experience would over-ride that ingrained instinct but apparently it doesn't. At least I finally understand the point of every car commercial I have ever seen.