Turn Of Phrase

It's interesting to hear which phrases people continue to use long after the main analogy no longer makes sense. For example, I still hear people describe how drunk someone was by saying they were "three sheets to the wind". Not only does this not makes sense since most people don't even know the origin, but the person being talked about is probably not a sailor and even if they are their ship probably doesn't have sails. Clearly, this one doesn't apply to the majority of society and yet we still use it. Another one is when people describe themselves out for a "Sunday drive". I'm sure this phrase comes from back in the day when there weren't so many cars on the road and not as many gadgets to occupy people's time, so driving around with no particular place to go was a fine way to pass the time. But with gas prices continuing to rise and even people's alleged days off often turning out to have more scheduled events than their work week, no one just goes for a cruise these days. That is why I'm not sure we can keep using this one. Besides, as I reminded yesterday, I'm not sure you want to be on the roads on Sundays, because it is the day all the crazies come out.

Yesterday morning I was driving around and felt as though I was constantly dealing with people who didn't know how to drive. The absolute worst experience happened as I was going down a street and a woman came out of a parking lot on the side of the road. She never even glanced in my direction, simply pulling out in front of me. Fortunately, I had a second lane to turn into with no cars in it, otherwise I would have plowed into the side of her as she looked on obliviously. I leaned on my horn and asked in a slightly agitated tone just what the hell this woman was doing before continuing down the road. A couple hundred feet later I came to a red light and the woman pulled up next to me. Now, my passenger's side window was already down so when I saw the woman roll her window down I prepared myself for a verbal altercation. I assumed this woman was going to claim our near-accident was somehow my doing or question why I took that tone with her and immediately began to mentally compile a series of snappy comebacks, most featuring the theme of, "Screw me? No, screw you!" (As you can see, I'm not exactly quick with comebacks in the moment.) However, what the woman actually said to me stumped me more than any clever insult ever could:

"Excuse me, do you know where Baker Street is?"

Have you ever been expecting a confrontation with someone only to find the other person is completely oblivious to that fact? It's rather jarring. I often think I know what people's reactions are going to be (despite evidence which has proven time and again that I really don't), so if I think an argument could get heated what I do is plan out the entire conversation in my head, almost like a one-act play. What happens then is people say something I wasn't expecting and it really throws me for a loop, because I'm suddenly like a director where the actors have gone off script. I got a little flustered and for half a second I honestly thought about telling her to pull over and we could consult my GPS before realizing that would actually be slightly more insane than what she did. (Although, now I kind of wish I had just to see if she would have taken me up on it.) From her question I couldn't tell if this woman either didn't notice the fact she nearly killed me, didn't care or was doing that move where you know you've screwed up but think by refusing to acknowledge it the screw up will go away. Well, if that last option was her plan it totally worked because rather than point out how insane I thought it was that she nearly rammed me and now expected me to give her directions, all I said was, "No, I'm not really familiar with this part of town." I'm sure that answered conveyed my annoyance with her.

The other thing getting a reaction you didn't anticipate can do is make you wonder if you aren't totally blowing the incident out of proportion. If the other party doesn't see what the big deal is, why should you? After all, it was not like our cars actually collided. I think we all worry about being seen a person who turns a minor things into a major issue, because no one likes being around that guy. Either way, I came away both angry at this woman for being so careless behind the wheel of a vehicle as well as annoyed at her for not even giving me so much as a 'sorry' wave before asking me for a favor. But, this is what happens on Sunday mornings - people who don't drive all week suddenly think the roads will be clear, not realizing that in reality they are slightly worse than normal because everyone is in a hurry to get their stuff done before the NFL kicks off and are probably driving while annoyed at have to do this stuff on a weekend morning. That is why I feel like we need to stop using "Sunday drive" for an expression. If you want to let people know you are out for a carefree cruise in a car use something more realistic - tell them you are taking a "cruise through the Dakotas" because the only way you can really enjoy a drive is with as few people around as possible and you can't get much more open road than in the 46th and 47th least-dense states. Considering how many people who aren't sailors still use nautical expressions I feel like this could catch on.