Respect The Chair

I have to admit, I am amazed at how much snow has melted in the last two days. Nemo was followed by a very strange warm pattern which I did not see coming - it's been at least mid-30s every day since it stopped snowing. I know that isn't exactly a heat wave, but it is warm enough to get things moving in the right direction. I'm not saying it looks like a blizzard never came through, just that snow drifts which were once thigh-high are now closer to my knees. That may only be a foot, but when a few of the snow piles were close to 10 feet tall, it is a big (and appreciated) drop. We can finally start to see around corners at intersections and I honestly thought it would take a week to get to that point. And it is a good thing this rapid melting is happening, because some areas are still struggling to dig out, especially the side streets. Things are much better than they were on Sunday night, but the less-traveled roads are still narrow and are not a high priority. Plus, all the residential cars make it tough to clean the streets properly. The only good news is that this has resulted in one of my favorite city traditions - people leaving items in a parking space to declare ownership of that space.

Look, I totally get it. There is nothing worse that spending a couple of hours doing back-breaking labor to dig out your car and make sure the area around it is clean enough for you to get in and out, only to have someone else come along and take that space without so much as a thank you. (The only thing worse? Digging out your space just to have the person in the car behind yours throw the snow from their car into the area you just cleared out. Seriously, for as often as storms like this show how well people can still work together and bring out the good in society, situations like this can also shine a light on just how many people are dicks. I think you should be able to let the air out of those people's tires without criminal prosecution.) Anyway, to guard against this you often see people leave items in the spaces to prevent other cars from parking there. The most common tool is folding chairs but I have seen people use milk crates, trash barrels or, if they are feeling fancy and have family who works for the city, orange cones. Basically, all you need is something big enough that it would cause damage to the other person's car if they were to run it over.

The most amazing part of this practice is how often it works. If you were unfamiliar with this custom and just started driving down a street you would see these items and assume it was trash day. However, most people see these $4 pieces of lawn furniture and respect their authority as if the secret service was guarding that spot. I'd like to think it is because they realize that if a person spent the time hunting for something to mark their territory than they must have worked very hard to dig out that spot and figure they deserve to keep that space for themselves. After all, America is on a big kick of trying to let people keep what they make. The reality is probably closer to drivers not wanting to get into a fight over a parking spot, because if people take the time to claim their spot than they are not the kind of people who will take an intruder laying down. At that point it becomes a simple issue of economics - driving around looking for another spot takes a few minutes and some gas. Having to send your car to the paint shop because some possessive psycho carved "THIEF" in the side of your car is going to cost you hundreds of dollars.

Now, the city says this practice of saving spots is illegal and if a person moves your folding chairs to park in a spot they did not clear they are not committing any crime. However, I have never once heard of anyone getting fined for leaving something to claim a spot, so I can only assume the city is secretly ok with it. Apparently, it is one of those societal laws I am so fond of, which aren't technically on the books but allow us to function better if we just agreed to follow them. Parking has always been a hot-button issue - you don't have to look any further than the three documentary series about meter maids to know that. I can only assume it goes to people's basic need to feel like they own some space that they can call their own. Of course, all of this drama is exactly why I have always said there are only two things I need to be happy in life - air conditioning and off-street parking. I have no problem spending hours clearing out my driveway because I know that when I come home there is no chance my neighbor will be in my way just because he hasn't felt like shoveling his own parking spot yet. But if he did I will admit a trip to Maaco would be in his future.