Late last week Rhode Island passed a law legalizing gay marriage effective as of August 1st, making gay marriage legal in all of New England. The news was not met with a lot of fanfare in this area, mostly because it was so expected. It is a little like being back in high school when that last friend gets their driver's license - the thrill is kind of gone by this point. But in all seriousness I am sincerely surprised it took Rhode Island this long, especially since they are close enough to see that the marriage debate was much ado about nothing in the rest of New England. It is not like gay marriage has sent the rest of us spiraling into the depth as so many of the old-school "pro-family" people predicted. I guess they figured between Massachusetts and Connecticut, we had it covered. But, what really surprised me was the revelation that apparently Rhode Island was being held up as the bell-cow for several other states because about five days after Rhode Island passed their measure Delaware's version of the bill passed through their state House of Representatives and is expected to become law. And just yesterday Minnesota House passed a bill legalizing gay marriage which everyone expects to pass through their Senate with no issues. The states which outlaw gay marriage are dropping like flies.
I have to say the ease with which these laws are passing make me both happy and sad. Obviously, as someone who believes people have the right to marry whomever they fall in love with I am pleased to see that the places they can go to make it legal are growing in number. (I am also happy for their friends and family because as awesome as Boston is in the Spring and Fall, no guest enjoys having to travel to a destination wedding. If you made people travel more than 500 miles to go to your wedding anyone who says they enjoyed the experience is lying to you. And if you got married on a Sunday they are openly hoping your marriage fails.) I'm also pleased at the lack of media coverage because it proves that this is becoming the norm, not the exception. However, it makes me sad that it has taken this long. Polls say that Americans are in favor of allowing gay marriage by a margin of around 3-1 and the gap is widening every single day. The fact that lawmakers are only now getting around to making it legal shows just how out of touch these people are and how afraid they are to piss off the small corner of the population simply because those people open their checkbooks the most. It also makes me sad because it reminds me that most members of Congress are terrible at math. 50 people giving you $1,000 is nice, but 500 people giving you $100 is better. Not only is the money is the same but the last time I checked elections are won by who has the most votes, not who raises the most money.
Unfortunately it will never be that simple because clearly there are some states where the road is going to be tougher than others. When it comes to this kind of issue it is never about what the majority thinks but what the minority with the power want to do and, sadly, to get that level of power you have to have been around for a while. You don't keep that kind of influence by rocking the boat. It can be really hard to undo several generations of thinking, especially when those people think changing their stance on an issue is an attack on their very way of life. I would just caution the people who support gay marriage to state their case to the hardliners who are pushing back carefully. First off, ask yourself the very simple question of how you would respond if someone came and told you that you were an idiot because they disagree with something you have been told your whole life is the correct way to think. I'm pretty sure you would not appreciate the opinion. Secondly, don't go in demanding because if there is one thing we have learned in the last few years it is that people do not respond well when they are told they have to do something. Often what results is they actually dig their heels in further than they would if the idea was simply presented better. The best thing you can do is word it in such a way as to make them think it was their idea in the first place. Allow George Takei to explain it a little further.
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