A Kitchen Nightmare

It was with a large amount of glee that I recently read a story regarding the fact major TV networks have begun cutting back on the number of nights they air singing competitions as well as slimming their "results shows" down from an hour to 30 minutes. Since networks would never do this if these shows were still getting huge rating numbers I can only hope this signals the beginning of the end for these shows or at least some of them. The fact these studio executives believe they could be bringing in more eyeballs (and thus more advertising dollars) showing something else is slowly restoring my faith in humanity, as I would like to think the American viewing public has finally reached the breaking point. I always knew this would happen eventually - TV goes in waves so it was only a matter of time before people wanted to see something different - it is just that this particular wave was taking quite a long time to crest. I understand people love to think their opinion matters, which is why they get so wrapped up in the voting process, but at some point you just can't keep track of them all anymore. I know I have always had the option of going elsewhere for my entertainment (and I have) but at some point it is about the principle of not hogging all the network airtime. That is why I don't care if it is because people have begun to realize these shows are nothing more than glorified karaoke competitions or because the winners disappear as soon as the next season begins (which is about a month after the previous season ends) - whatever stops clogging my TV with these repetitive shows is fine with me.

Now, I don't hate all "reality" show competitions. I continue to be a fan of shows like "Big Break" on Golf Channel, in which 12 golfers on the outskirts of the professional tour compete in a series of challenges and the winner is given an invitation to participate in one Tour event and what they do with that opportunity is up to them. That show may not have a better track record of producing household names, but at least you know the winner of that show earned it and didn't win simply because 13 year-old girls with unlimited texting on their cellphones thought he was the cutest. Also, the people who compete on that show but don't win often continue to try and break into the professional ranks and have sustained careers, not just try and extend their 15 minutes of fame while doing as little work as possible. I also like "Big Break" because it is the only show of its kind. That is probably the biggest problem with all these reality singing shows - there are dozens of them and by having so churning out so many contestants per year they create entire generations of quasi-celebrities who are famous enough to get recognized but not famous or talented enough to make a career out their recognition. I have long contented "American Idol" has done more for minor league baseball than for the recording industry because now small teams have the ability to book a 'star' to sing the National Anthem that night while music companies continue to slowly fade away. Considering there are just as many cooking competition shows as there are singing shows I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to learn there is a new service for people who flamed out on television but aren't quite ready to hang up their knives just yet.

The other day I saw an article for a new chef rental agency. Now, the ability to hire a chef to come to your house and cook for you is not a new idea. The difference with this company is, depending on what city you live in, the chefs they will provide have appeared on a cooking show of some kind. If you want you can set up some kind of competition for them to work through or you can just let them make their specialty dish. I think this is a really good idea because the biggest flaw with these cooking shows is that the viewer doesn't get to try the food for themselves. We can all hear people sing and decide who is the best but since they have yet to develop a way for people to try the food made on television we are relying on the palates of the judges, which I feel is a mistake. Like all situations when decisions are left up to judges, there have been plenty of times when I have watched one of these shows and vehemently disagreed with who was picked as the winner. Just because the person on the panel that day wasn't a fan of how a dish was prepared that doesn't mean it was awful. The ability to have them come to your house and let you decide for yourself has to be wildly appealing to most foodies. What was even crazier is that the price wasn't even all that crazy as prices start at just a couple hundred dollars. While I assume the bottom-rung gets you the people who were eliminated in the first round because they forgot to use a key ingredient, it still seems fairly reasonable for a chef who was good enough to be invited on a cooking show. I mean, you'd probably pay more than that if you went to the restaurant the winner ended up working at.

I'm sure that all these chefs expected to be handed their own restaurants as soon as their show ended whether they won or not. That kind of disappointment can be hard to deal with, which is why I appreciate that these reality show failures are at least trying to do something with their skill set rather than sit around and wait for a shot at redemption on "Dancing With the Stars" or "Celebrity Fit Club." I just see two major flaws in this plan. The first is that your average kitchen is not going to be equipped to handle this level of cooking. If you have ever watched a cooking show you know that these chefs are unleashed in a kitchen featuring some appliances you and I have never heard of and certainly wouldn't have in our houses. I have visions of them asking the homeowner where the $600 blender is and instead being handed an egg beater. It would be like asking a racecar driver to use a minivan for the day. Secondly, the very concept of having someone come to your house and cook is kind of creepy. One of the best parts of eating at a restaurant is that the chef doesn't then sit there and watch you eat. Not only would the chef still be there, they'll probably expect to join you which would be extra awkward if you didn't like what they made or they spent all night complaining about losing the show. Doesn't exactly sound like the kind of experience I would want to pay for. I may find awkward situations funny, but only when they are happening to someone else. I wonder if I can end the night simply by telling someone, "pack your knives and go."