An Open Letter

So, for the first time this winter (I'm not counting the freak Halloween storm) the Boston area got some actual snowfall. Previously all we had been hit with was the light kind of snow that only stuck on grassy surfaces or if it did stick to the pavement it would quickly turn to slush and melt away by the afternoon. But, this morning I was woken up by my neighbor's snowblower going off at a stupidly early hour because we had three whole inches of fluffy snow on the ground. Normally three inches of snow isn't even worth shoveling (that's why I didn't), but this guy was chomping at the bit to get out and clear it away. He was not the only annoying person this weather brought out. Additionally it brought out a group of people who we (fortunately) only have to deal with for a couple of months: the people who have lived here for years and yet still complain about snow. Every year they come out of the woodwork after the first snow to talk about how much they hate this weather and want to move to Florida. As you can imagine, the fact that we are allegedly getting more snow this weekend is really bad news to them. So, I thought I would write them an open letter.

Dear Snow Complainers:

Shut up. Seriously. Shut the hell up.

Do you people not realize how easy we have had it this year? Have you already forgotten about last year, when we got a fresh foot of snow every week? This winter has been a breeze and all you are doing is jinxing us by complaining about the small amount of snow we are getting this weekend. If we had been offered this winter last January we would have signed off on it in a heartbeat, so don't get greedy now. Just be happy that it is January 20th and we are just getting around to pulling out the shovels. You've had more than enough time to get your Christmas lights in and winterize your house. If you haven't done it by now than you were never getting around to it, so stop pretending like you were planning to take care of all this stuff Saturday morning and the snow is suddenly throwing a wrench into your carefully thought-out agenda. Also, quit acting as though you are the only one who is dealing with the snow. In case you hadn't noticed, we are all walking in the same stuff. I know I certainly don't have boots that allow me to magically avoid it. We're all in this together and you don't have it any better or worse than the people around you.

I heard some of you complaining because you, "were really hoping to make it through the winter without any snow." Well, I would like to date any one of a dozen famous actresses. But I have accepted that none of those are going to happen and neither is making it through a winter without getting at least a small amount of snow because I live in the real world. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it even occasionally snows in your precious Florida. So unless you pack up and move to Brazil, you are never going to have a completely snow-free winter. Just be happy when it is a light season like we have this year. We are currently on pace for the 7th lowest snow total in history. If that isn't going to be good enough for you that you must be one of those Tiger Moms everyone was flipping out about last year. And let's not forget, this is New England, where a few businesses rely on snow to make money. Sure, you could question the wisdom of owning a business which revolves around something you will never have control over but that doesn't mean you should be wishing ill will upon them. That's just asking for a karmic kick in the pants.

Look, I get where you are coming from. There are plenty of things you can find annoying about snow. Once Christmas has come and gone it can feel a little bit redundant. Plus, it's not fun to walk around with wet socks, deal with parking spaces which have been made narrower by snow piles or constantly having to clean road salt off your vehicle. Not to mention it is not like adults get snow days like kids do. But, that comes with the territory. You never appreciate a truly great summer day until you have suffered through a really cold winter morning. It is all about keeping those sunny afternoons in your mind as you step into a snowbank that is higher than the top of your boot and you feel the cold water slide down the back of your leg. That can be hard to do, but it will make it easier to survive the rest of the season. So, I get that you're bummed out. However, it doesn't mean I want to hear about it. Seriously, your negativity is bringing the entire room down, so knock it off.

Sincerely,

The Editorial Staff of Rakauskas's Ramblings.