Lazy Sunday Ramblings

-I've created a monster now that I know how to put YouTube videos on my iPod. I'm going to have a Celtic highlight section before too long. Before I never thought I'd fill 30GB... instead I'm wondering if I should upgrade to the 80G.

-For the 30th time in a row, my system of picking whichever horse draws #6 in big races was flawed. Then again, I'm not any more off than the guys who do this for a living, as the favorite horse came in third.

-Is it a requirement that to be a great tennis player you must also be insanely boring? Federer has matched Sampras not only in Grand Slam wins, but in the blandness of his public speaking. You need a Jolt Cola just to make it through their interviews. On the other hand, Agassi was the flashy media darling but never quite got to their level on the court.

-Also, did anyone get that Jolt Cola reference, or am I dating myself? For you kids out there, think Red Bull, but with more sugar cause it's soda.

-Speaking of dating myself, I present "the way that I am acting old this week": I don't want to use my new golf toy cause I'm afraid I'll leave divots in the lawn. Next I'll start watching Matlock re-runs.

-One of my favorite baseball traditions is that no one talks to a pitcher if he's got a no-hitter or perfect game going. It's one of those quirky rules that everyone seems to respect for no rational reason.

-Also, David Ortiz, you should not have taken a curtain call for a 100 foot homerun off the bottom of Pesky Pole. Another foot and that thing was going foul, so let's just settle down. We all want you to turn this thing around, and when you do stuff like that it instead feels looks a guy who knows he's on the way out the door.

-You know what show is the ultimate proof that the majority of television shows are put on the air by drunk people? SpikeTV's The Deadliest Warrior. It is the perfect example of what happens when a bar discussion that couldn't be settled ("Dude, who wins a fight between a ninja and a pirate?"), is put into the hands of people who run a television network. Add to that a chance to show off really exotic weapons and an opportunity for actors to act the fights out at the end of the episode and you've got a winning formula. I watched a couple episodes over the course of this week and it's insanely enjoyable. Though, I still think it's crap that they think a pirate would beat a knight.

The Curious Case of Lil Kim

I make no secret of the fact that I have songs on my iPod I don't even like. Hell, you could say there are songs on there I can't stand. I skip them every time they appear on my shuffle. Yesterday, as I was syncing my iPod with my iTunes, it recalculated to see the songs that I have played the most. There are no surprises at the top of the list. Lots of plays for Journey, Rascal Flatts and the Notre Dame fight song (a tune I am so fond of I have been known to put it on other people's iPods without being asked... you're welcome).

But, on a whim, I decided to see just what songs I dislike the most. Not including the songs that I have just recently added (and since I finally figured out how to convert and add music videos off of YouTube, there are lots of new additions), typically the files with the least amount of plays are ones that I had previously needed for work: music beds, sound effect and movie quotes (nothing breaks up the monotony of music like a random Chris Farley quote getting thrown in).

In this grouping, though, there is only one actual song that has literally one play: "The Jump Off" by Lil Kim. This is peculiar to me for a couple of reasons. First off, I can't remember what the hell I even needed this song for. It's not like I don't like hip hop - my freshman year of college I felt very strongly that DMX was the greatest rapper ever - but I cant think of any of my friends that would have liked this song enough for me to feel the need to download if for them. The other reason that I'm surprised it has just the one play is I usually set my iPod to play for an hour while I go to sleep. The fact that it never came up during that time is just curious to me. Alas, now we may never know the real reason of how it came to be on my iPod, as I cut the cord and deleted it to save some space (cut to the part when someone asks me to put it in a playlist for them).

-I was a little surprised when Rodney Harrison retired this week. I figured that being carted off the field was not the way he wanted to go out. But, sometimes the body just decides it's had enough, even when the spirit is still willing. He was a great addition to those Super Bowl winning Patriot teams and I feel that Eugene Wilson especially owes him thanks for hiding the fact that Wilson wasn't a particularly good NFL safety for a number of seasons. I think that Harrison will eventually get into the Hall of Fame. As the only defensive back in NFL history with 30 sacks and 30 interceptions, the numbers are just too great to ignore. The fact that he wasn't the most popular player during his career (classic "you hated him until he's on your team" guy) may prevent him from getting in on the first ballot, but I think eventually he'll make it.

I'm not happy that he's joining NBC's Football Night in America. Not because I don't like the show, but because I think there are already too many people there. They already had like 10 guys in studio and this year they've added both Tony Dungy and Rodney Harrison. It's only an hour long show - when you factor in commercials and highlights, everyone will get about 10 seconds of individual camera time to make their points. I know that suddenly they had all this extra money on the budget with Madden retiring, but jees, you couldn't instead spend it on composing music that does sound like you ripped it directly from the Star Wars score?

I'm Stunned I've Lived To See 29...

I'm no MENSA candidate, I know that. On the other hand, I do like to think that I am smart enough to figure out how to get through life mostly unscathed. But every now and again, Mother Nature pops up and reminds me that if she feels like it, I could easily make next year's edition of the Darwin Awards.

Yesterday I was greeted with a nice day and an empty schedule. So, I figured that since I wouldn't be getting any real work done then I could at least get some yard work done. I was already planning on doing this stuff Saturday, but if I could get it done today then it would free up my weekend. First thing that I was doing was some edging around the plants that sit up against the back of the house. It was kind of a pain, but it look pretty good when I was done.

Then I decided that since I was already out there I would mow the lawn. But before that, I needed to do some clearing. It was a tough winter for the trees in my back yard and thus I had a lot of low-hanging dead branches. I just was going to take out the ones that would be in the way as I mowed and didn't get a saw, just the sharp clippers. I got the branches out of my way for mowing, but then I got greedy. I wanted to clean up a larger branch that was higher. I grabbed at it and it snapped in the middle right away since it was already dead (leaving a nice jagged, pointed end). So I went back, got the saw and decided to cut it closer to the main body of the tree. I'm holding on to the end of the branch, trying to cut with my left hand and pull with my right at same time, hoping the branch would break near the cut line. So, there I am, pulling and cutting, cutting and pulling, when SNAP. My plan worked well and the branch broke off neatly at the tree. BUT I was still pulling when it did and the pointed end nailed me in the chest. It punctured right through my shirt and into my chest.

Fortunately it wasn't sharp enough to break the skin too much, just hurt like a bastard and leave a nice deep bruise (20 hours later it looks even better). Any sharper, though, and it would have been trouble. Really, stabbing yourself with a tree branch is pretty stupid way to hurt yourself. I'd show you the bruise, but I'm trying to hold off on showing the world my nipples for as long as I can. After that it was just more yard work fun as the grass seeds on steroids have been filling the lawn in nicely. Normally I could let the lawn sit for a week, maybe two before it needed mowing. The lawn was mowed last Tuesday and yesterday it was so thick I had to constantly back up and go over sections twice to prevent it from clogging the lawnmower. What is normally an hour job took closer to three. But, on a positive note, I've found that if you're doing yard work and the score from Pirates of the Caribbean comes on your iPod, it makes every motion that much more dramatic.

-So.... Rhode Island... you've got to be next, right? Clearly, all the cool kids (and Iowa) are doing it.

The Telemarketer's Lament

Yesterday I was just hanging out when my phone rang. Caller ID said it was MASSACHUSETTS and since that's where I live, I figured it was safe to pick up the phone. I was greeted by a cheerful-sounding man and we had the following conversation:

Man on the other end of the line:
"Hey, this is Charlie the Chimney sweep."
Me, seriously doubting his name is in fact Charlie, as the alliteration seems too convenient:
"Um, ok. How are you?"
Charlie, thrown off, because clearly he's reading from a script and not expecting to have to answer a question:
"After a tough winter, I was wondering if you needed your chimney cleaned? How about the chimney from your wood-burning furnace? Because you know -"
Me, while wondering who the hell still uses a wood-burning furnace:
"Woah... I'm all set. Thanks, though."
Charlie, the wind out of his sails as he hears that for probably the 800th time that day:
"(heavy sigh) Yeah... ok, bye."

Here's my issue: does cold-calling ever work any more? We live in a world where you can do any kind of shopping that you could ever need online or by calling the company yourself. Especially with a service like chimney sweeping, which I would imagine is not a snap decision. You would go looking for that; no one decides in a second that they need their chimney cleaned. Now, obviously for Charlie probably has some time to kill during the day, so that's why he was calling around. But, I would love to know how often this worked for him.

-As the NBA Finals start tonight I'm, unfortunately, expecting the Lakers to win in 6. If the Tampa Bay Rays and Arizona Cardinals have taught us anything in this past sports year, it's that the young upstart team can make a run and get to the championship series, but they're going to come up short. They just can't handle the biggest of the big stages yet.

Loose Change

As I've mentioned before, I'm pretty fanatical about keeping my car clean. So, as you can imagine, I was not happy a couple of weeks ago when I opened my sunroof and got rained on by a ton of crap (pollen, leaves and other stuff). At the time I just sort of gave it a cursory swipe with my arm and got the biggest chunks out of my car. Yesterday I decided to go back with a vacuum cleaner and get into all the crevices and fold in the seats. I'm quite pleased with the results as the inside of my car looks great.

I went full-out: pulling out my floor mats to get under there, folding down the seats to get into the harder to reach places and going under the seats to get at the places no one should even be looking. And that's when I discovered that I must have a problem with the jeans I wear. Under the driver's seat I found a ton of change. There was almost $3 worth of quarters and a couple dimes. The fact I never heard all this rattling around is surprising to me. My speakers must be louder than I think they are.

I threw the quarters back into the center console, cause that's where I keep my quarters, but put the three dimes in my pocket (for clarification's sake, I want you to know I am positive that there were three dimes). I have a change cup in my room that I was planning on added them to. Not five minutes later when I arrived in my room and reached into my pocket did I discover that two of the dimes were gone. I retraced my steps... no sign of them. They seemed to disappear into thin air. Obviously I'm not flipping out over 20 cents, but it was the oddest occurrence.

The moral of the story is, some change just wants to be lost.

-Alright, I'll ask: how did Jamie Fox get into this picture? Is he going the Jessica Simpson route and planning a country album? I also like how he is hiding off to one side like Where's Waldo.

The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien

For the first time in years, I made it a point to flip over and watch The Tonight Show last night. It was the first night of shows for Conan O'Brien and, as a Conan fan, I was interested to see how much of the shtick that worked for him at Late Night he was planning to bring with him to his new time slot.

Turns out that the show wasn't all that different from what he had done in the past. It just seemed like he had more studio space and a bigger budget to play with. It was still the same show format with a short monologue, pre-taped video sketch and second, shorter skit when he got back from commercial. The format was familiar to those people who had watch Conan for years - even the set didn't look all that different. To me it was a gentle way to break in the new audience who may not be familiar with his style. He pushed his style of humor, but didn't force it, letting people see that from now on it'll be more skits, less monologue-type jokes. He didn't break out the Masturbating Bear or Triumph, but you got the gist.

The question will be whether or not those type of skits ever come on the show. As I've said before, you can get away with a lot more at 12:30 than 11:30. It'll be a bit of a balancing act. If he pushes the line too far he could lose the older folks who liked Leno and his Jay-walking skits; he doesn't push far enough and he loses his core audience. After all, he and The Colbert Report probably had a lot of the same audience and now they're going head-to-head with each other.

I would be interested to see the ratings break-down of last night's show. The goal of moving Conan up an hour was to try and pull in more young people to the show. I'm sure it did well, cause there were lots of people like me who love Conan (even if we can't always stay up until 12:30 - it sucks getting older) who were curious about the show. Like I said, I hadn't watched The Tonight Show for years and last night's show was appointment viewing. But, did last night's effort have me clamoring to make sure I set a DVR to record it every night? Nope. Still, I'll be an interested observer over the next couple of months to see how this plays out.

I Had Forgotten All About You...

I like to think of myself as pretty tech-savvy. I know how to get around on a computer and can fake my way through most computer programs. Sure, I won't be doing any complicated graphic designs (as you may have guessed by this site's sweet, sweet layout), but I can navigate the information super-highway with the best of them. The one problem I do have, though, is balancing multiple Internet fads at once. If I start using a new social tool, I will immediately stop using my old one.

For whatever reason, I just can't keep up with whatever the new Internet craze is and stick with the old one at the same time. I do this in real life, too. When I get a new job I invariably fade away from the people I met at my old job. It's not intentional. It just kind of happens. MySpace was supposed to help me with this problem. I was going to sign up, contact a bunch of old friends and reconnect with them. Only I signed up and didn't really do the second part of the plan. I think I got distracted by finding just the right Celtic wallpaper for the background. Then I started doing this blog and now I couldn't tell you the last time I even logged in to my MySpace.

I bring this up because of what happened yesterday. Whenever I sign in to blogger, I also open my Gmail account. Gmail happens to be tied in to my old AIM (that's AOL Instant Messenger, for those who may be curious). Completely forgetting about that, I left my GMail open while I typed away at my blog post. I hadn't intentionally signed on to my AIM account in a couple years, but it turns out that people actually still use that thing. Imagine my surprise when a chat window opened unprompted. At first I assumed it was a pop-up. Then, I had to figure out just who the hell I was talking to. When you haven't chatted for a while, you forget what clever nicknames various people had chosen for themselves. In real life you can fake it by calling people by names like chief or buddy. On instant messenger you feel pretty stupid typing those out. That's the perils of ignoring technology - eventually it comes back around and gets you.