-Due to the world of "Twilight" the two most popular baby names this year were Isabella and Jacob. I want to thank all the parents who did this to their children, because when I have kids I will immediately know who's parents I will not trust my kids to stay with. "What's that, you want to have a sleep over at Jacob's? Aren't his parents really into vampires? Ummm, why don't you guys sleep over here instead?"
-While I would feel a little bad for them if Coach Calipari bolted Kentucky for the Chicago Bulls after only one year (and his prized recruiting class would probably scatter), frankly Kentucky had to know who they were getting into bed with. Calipari has always been the type to keep one foot out the door just in case a better job (read: more money) comes along. Now, his alleged interest could just be a marketing tool for a new deal, but I wouldn't be surprised if he took the money and bolted back to the NBA. (I also wouldn't be surprised if he was again terrible once he got back there, either.)
-One more on Calipari: he said he would love to coach LeBron James. No shit, Sherlock. Every coach in America would love to coach LeBron, cause he guarantees 50 wins a year by himself. Hell, I could probably coax 40 wins out of him and I've never coached at any level. It's the main reason that once Mike Brown is fired in Cleveland he'll have a tough time getting another head coaching gig. People realise that James probably would win even more if he had a good coach.
-Who would have thought it was going to take an 88 year-old woman to get me actually excited to see an episode of Saturday Night Live again? Really, that show hasn't been appointment viewing for me for years, but I'll tune in this week.
-As a man who opposes teams putting stupid banners up in their rafters, I was pleased to hear that one of the first acts of new Wizards/Verizon Center/Mystics owner Ted Leonsis will be to take down the Washington Mytics "WNBA Attendance Record" banner from 2002. Really, if that is the only banner-worthy accomplishment of the last 8 years, perhaps they need to start taking down more than just stupid banners. Now, we just need the Patriots' "16-0 Regular Season" and the Colts' "AFC Finalist" banners to follow.
-I got a letter the other day from the State of Massachusetts, essentially telling me I would soon be receiving a letter from the State of Massachusetts. Alright, though it seems like a waste of a stamp. Perhaps this is an agreement between the state and the post office, as a way to keep each other busy: "You keep spending time sending unnecessary letters to make it look like you're doing work and we'll keep delivering them so we have something to do!"
Friday, May 7, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Copycats
You know, I'm willing to suffer someone acting like a jackass. I mean, we've all been there; something seems like a great idea in the moment, but after a couple hours or so of hindsight you realise that you were just a huge idiot. What I am not going to tolerate, however, is someone being an unoriginal jackass. The other day I mentioned the story of the kid who ran onto the field during the Phillies game Monday night and got himself tased. Now, it was a big story because he was the first fan to ever be tased on the field and it led to a fairly big debate in the world of sports over whether or not that was excessive on security's part. The kid's face was all over TV and the Internet, they interviewed his parents and he became famous for the day. Given today's world, I guess it shouldn't be all that surprising that Tuesday night another loser decided that he wanted a piece of that action.
A 34 year-old aspiring DJ tweeted his intentions and then hopped onto the field, actually hoping to get tased so he could add his name to the national debate. [Sidebar: there are certain careers you should no longer be 'aspiring' to when you hit 34. The list looks like this: DJ, bartender, bouncer or exotic dancer.] Instead, he was roundly booed (nicely handled, Philly fans), who immediately recognized the unoriginality of this idiot. Not to mention the Phillies were in a tight game in the ninth inning when this guy decided it was the best time for his little stunt. He could have cost the Phillies the game, which was all the rest of the people in the stadium cared about. It's still up for debate as to whether or not it's too harsh to tase someone who runs onto the field while a game is going on, but the last thing I would have thought was that it would lead to someone else wanting to get tased. I understand that there are people out there who want attention and don't really care how they get it, but still there has to be a better way to go about it. I can only hope that the rest of the city in which you live coming together to certify you as an asshole is more of a deterrent than a jolt of electricity.
-Speaking of people who may want to stop copying idiotic behavior, remember the video I posted last week where the soccer player went down as though he had been shot, only replay showed he was never touched? Well, I feel like this story should serve as a warning to any soccer players who want to flop like their more famous heroes. In a low-level league in Croatia, a man was playing and went down. The ref, fully convinced that the guy was guilty of flopping, went over to give him a yellow card. There was just a small issue of the guy being dead. Apparently he had suffered a heart attack and died on the spot. Also, the ref had already written him up for the yellow.
A 34 year-old aspiring DJ tweeted his intentions and then hopped onto the field, actually hoping to get tased so he could add his name to the national debate. [Sidebar: there are certain careers you should no longer be 'aspiring' to when you hit 34. The list looks like this: DJ, bartender, bouncer or exotic dancer.] Instead, he was roundly booed (nicely handled, Philly fans), who immediately recognized the unoriginality of this idiot. Not to mention the Phillies were in a tight game in the ninth inning when this guy decided it was the best time for his little stunt. He could have cost the Phillies the game, which was all the rest of the people in the stadium cared about. It's still up for debate as to whether or not it's too harsh to tase someone who runs onto the field while a game is going on, but the last thing I would have thought was that it would lead to someone else wanting to get tased. I understand that there are people out there who want attention and don't really care how they get it, but still there has to be a better way to go about it. I can only hope that the rest of the city in which you live coming together to certify you as an asshole is more of a deterrent than a jolt of electricity.
-Speaking of people who may want to stop copying idiotic behavior, remember the video I posted last week where the soccer player went down as though he had been shot, only replay showed he was never touched? Well, I feel like this story should serve as a warning to any soccer players who want to flop like their more famous heroes. In a low-level league in Croatia, a man was playing and went down. The ref, fully convinced that the guy was guilty of flopping, went over to give him a yellow card. There was just a small issue of the guy being dead. Apparently he had suffered a heart attack and died on the spot. Also, the ref had already written him up for the yellow.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Cinco
I was all set to talk about Cinco de Mayo today, but then I was reading how it has become an overrated holiday to many actual Mexican people. They think too many people just use it as an excuse to drink and party and do not appreciate what the day is truly meant to be celebrating. Having Chipotle for lunch and a Corona after dinner is actually seen as perpetuating a stereotype - not celebrating the heritage. In other words, it's the Latino version of St. Patrick's Day. When you put it like that I can see why it would bother them. Because of that I won't be discussing the holiday and will instead take today to make fun of the new immigration law that Arizona passed. Cause, yeah, that's the same.
-Tonight the Red Sox are honoring Nomar Garciaparra before their game against the Angels. They want to honor #5 on 5/5. Nice, because what Nomar needed was another reason to be OCD about the number five. I talked about Nomar when he first announced his retirement, so I won't re-hash all that, but I'm still interested to see what kind of ceremony they will hold for him tonight. The big question on my mind is whether or not they'll give him a bat to let him do his ritual one last time in front of the fans. Personally, I think that would be awesome.
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-Tonight the Red Sox are honoring Nomar Garciaparra before their game against the Angels. They want to honor #5 on 5/5. Nice, because what Nomar needed was another reason to be OCD about the number five. I talked about Nomar when he first announced his retirement, so I won't re-hash all that, but I'm still interested to see what kind of ceremony they will hold for him tonight. The big question on my mind is whether or not they'll give him a bat to let him do his ritual one last time in front of the fans. Personally, I think that would be awesome.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Fighting Muscle Memory
So, it appears that the boil water order that has been in effect for the last couple of days for the Boston area is already over. The leak was fixed, the water has been tested so we can start drinking tap water again. I guess the rush for bottled water was much ado about nothing. I bet those people who came to blows in the super market over a case of Poland Springs must feel pretty stupid right about now. (Actually, I would hope they felt stupid immediately after the fight, if not during. At least they're all set for water for their Memorial Day barbecue.) After everyone runs the water through their faucets for 20 minutes or so, we can forget this this ever happened and go back to acting as though clean water coming to our homes is a giant magic trick. Frankly, I feel like it's not a moment too soon because as it turns out, following a boil water declaration is harder to follow than you think.
Sure, for the last couple of days I had been brushing my teeth with bottled water, but for the 28 years prior to that I had been able to simply run my toothbrush under the tap whenever I needed to clean it off. That's 28 years of habit to break. So, I had been starting out with the bottled water on my toothbrush, but then I would run it under the faucet without thinking. I mean, I did this almost every time. That's twice a day I would make this mistake (nope, I'm not one of those people who brushes after lunch, sorry). Frankly, I'm not sure what level of contamination I was risking here. Just remind me to never go to Mexico, because I would be chomping on ice cubes and brushing my teeth without ever thinking twice about it. It wouldn't be until I got home and had to live in the bathroom for a couple weeks that I would finally realise the error of my ways.
-There is a story in the news right now about a baseball fan who, in a moment of youthful exuberance, ran onto the field during last night's Cardinals/Phillies game. After chasing him for a couple minutes, the security at the park got tired and decided to tase him to end the pursuit. Now, because it's all over YouTube and it turns out the kid was a harmless, 17 year-old high school senior (who even thought to call his dad and ask if he could run onto the field) people are wondering if the taser was necessary. [Sidebar: this kid's dad said, "I don't think you should." Clearly he should have been more persuasive. I believe my father would have said something more along the lines of "No."] Personally, I feel like the tasing was just fine. Yeah, the guy turned out to be a fun-loving kid, but how was security supposed to know that? Better to air on the side of safety. Not to mention, he wasn't supposed to be on the field to begin with. Also, I kind of feel like if this kid was 27, not 17, then this wouldn't even be an issue today. Bottom line: don't want to be tased? Don't go on the field.
Sure, for the last couple of days I had been brushing my teeth with bottled water, but for the 28 years prior to that I had been able to simply run my toothbrush under the tap whenever I needed to clean it off. That's 28 years of habit to break. So, I had been starting out with the bottled water on my toothbrush, but then I would run it under the faucet without thinking. I mean, I did this almost every time. That's twice a day I would make this mistake (nope, I'm not one of those people who brushes after lunch, sorry). Frankly, I'm not sure what level of contamination I was risking here. Just remind me to never go to Mexico, because I would be chomping on ice cubes and brushing my teeth without ever thinking twice about it. It wouldn't be until I got home and had to live in the bathroom for a couple weeks that I would finally realise the error of my ways.
-There is a story in the news right now about a baseball fan who, in a moment of youthful exuberance, ran onto the field during last night's Cardinals/Phillies game. After chasing him for a couple minutes, the security at the park got tired and decided to tase him to end the pursuit. Now, because it's all over YouTube and it turns out the kid was a harmless, 17 year-old high school senior (who even thought to call his dad and ask if he could run onto the field) people are wondering if the taser was necessary. [Sidebar: this kid's dad said, "I don't think you should." Clearly he should have been more persuasive. I believe my father would have said something more along the lines of "No."] Personally, I feel like the tasing was just fine. Yeah, the guy turned out to be a fun-loving kid, but how was security supposed to know that? Better to air on the side of safety. Not to mention, he wasn't supposed to be on the field to begin with. Also, I kind of feel like if this kid was 27, not 17, then this wouldn't even be an issue today. Bottom line: don't want to be tased? Don't go on the field.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Stadium Ramblings
I'm about to say something that could very well get me run out of Boston, but, here goes: I don't like Fenway Park. It is small, cramped and not that much fun to sit in for 4 hours at a time. The fact that you have to pay through the nose for the privilege of it all just further infuriates me. I outgrew that place when I was about 12. I truly think Fenway Park is the main reason I am not a bigger baseball fan. The people who treat it like a cathedral are idiots who have clearly never been to places like SafeCo or Camden Yards. I challenge anyone to go sit in those stadiums then come back to Boston, look me in the eye and honestly try to tell me that Fenway is better. Now, sure, I get that we needed to win a World Series before getting a new stadium because of the history of the team, the park and the city. But, now the team has won twice in the last six years - it's time.
Now, I don't want some domed, lifeless monstrosity like they have down in Tampa Bay, but if they put some effort into it then I'm sure they could come up with a plan that would make the place nice enough to appease the people who still wish it was 1940. I just think it's disgraceful that a team like the Pirates, who spend no money, never win and continually give their fans the finger have a better place to play baseball than the Boston Red Sox. Also, maybe if they built a stadium with a higher capacity we wouldn't have to pay $125 for good seats. There is a reason that Baltimore gets overrun with Sox fans every time the team comes to town - because it's cheaper to fly to Baltimore and sit in a nice stadium than it is for two people to shoehorn themselves into Fenway Park for a game. Seriously, 92 years is a good run - lets get someplace new.
-In my attempt to be more worldly and follow soccer a little more closely (it is the biggest sport in the world, after all) I stumbled upon some big news today... well, "big" could depend on your perspective and interest level in soccer. The people in charge of such things are unhappy with the progress that Brazil is making as they prepare to host the next World Cup. Officials feel as though the country is well behind their schedule to build stadiums to host the event... in 2014. Maybe they should all relax their standards a bit. Shouldn't they get through this year's World Cup before worrying about the next go round? I mean, how long does it take to build a soccer stadium? It's honestly a circle with lots of seats. New Yankee Stadium with all its bells, whistles and shitty, expensive, obstructed views, went up in no time. Also, it isn't as though they are hosting the Olympics and need 19 different venues. If you're two years out and the place isn't on schedule then, yes, you can start to get worried. But being unhappy about behind schedule four years out seems like they are just worrying for the sake of worrying. Though, I guess when you are in charge of something that only takes place every four years you have a lot of free time to kill and thus you need to look busy.
-Lastly, we bring you photographic evidence of why you should maybe not build your football stadium next to a river. There have been some big storms going through Tennessee lately and as such the rivers are rising. To alleviate the pressure on a local dam, engineers decided to open it up and let the water rush through, as a sort of controlled overflow. The only problem seems to be for the Tennessee Titans, who's stadium is next to that river, because now their field is underwater.
The engineers were nice enough to give them some warning and as a result they managed to turn the power of at the place, but, damn - that is gonna wreck the turf.
Now, I don't want some domed, lifeless monstrosity like they have down in Tampa Bay, but if they put some effort into it then I'm sure they could come up with a plan that would make the place nice enough to appease the people who still wish it was 1940. I just think it's disgraceful that a team like the Pirates, who spend no money, never win and continually give their fans the finger have a better place to play baseball than the Boston Red Sox. Also, maybe if they built a stadium with a higher capacity we wouldn't have to pay $125 for good seats. There is a reason that Baltimore gets overrun with Sox fans every time the team comes to town - because it's cheaper to fly to Baltimore and sit in a nice stadium than it is for two people to shoehorn themselves into Fenway Park for a game. Seriously, 92 years is a good run - lets get someplace new.
-In my attempt to be more worldly and follow soccer a little more closely (it is the biggest sport in the world, after all) I stumbled upon some big news today... well, "big" could depend on your perspective and interest level in soccer. The people in charge of such things are unhappy with the progress that Brazil is making as they prepare to host the next World Cup. Officials feel as though the country is well behind their schedule to build stadiums to host the event... in 2014. Maybe they should all relax their standards a bit. Shouldn't they get through this year's World Cup before worrying about the next go round? I mean, how long does it take to build a soccer stadium? It's honestly a circle with lots of seats. New Yankee Stadium with all its bells, whistles and shitty, expensive, obstructed views, went up in no time. Also, it isn't as though they are hosting the Olympics and need 19 different venues. If you're two years out and the place isn't on schedule then, yes, you can start to get worried. But being unhappy about behind schedule four years out seems like they are just worrying for the sake of worrying. Though, I guess when you are in charge of something that only takes place every four years you have a lot of free time to kill and thus you need to look busy.
-Lastly, we bring you photographic evidence of why you should maybe not build your football stadium next to a river. There have been some big storms going through Tennessee lately and as such the rivers are rising. To alleviate the pressure on a local dam, engineers decided to open it up and let the water rush through, as a sort of controlled overflow. The only problem seems to be for the Tennessee Titans, who's stadium is next to that river, because now their field is underwater.
The engineers were nice enough to give them some warning and as a result they managed to turn the power of at the place, but, damn - that is gonna wreck the turf.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
A Musical Summary Of The News
Boston and the surrounding towns are under a boil water order because of a massive water main break outside of the city (and yes, it includes Norwood). Because of that I've had these two songs in my head for the last day. And since I can't decide which is more appropriate, you're getting both.
Dave Matthews Band - "Don't Drink the Water"
The Standells - "Dirty Water"
Dave Matthews Band - "Don't Drink the Water"
The Standells - "Dirty Water"
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Three Thoughts...
-Consider this my Eastern Conference Semifinal Preview: While I'm encourage that the Celtics seemed to finally be motivated during their series against the Heat, it was not an unexpected result. Miami is a flawed team that has some major concerns going forward, so beating them in five games was not a solid indicator of just how good this current Celtics team actually is. They could have beaten that Miami team in six without putting out as much effort, so they only improved themselves by about a game. Also, I think Cleveland may have been woken up by an athletic Bulls team and so they may be rounding into shape just as they meet the Celtics, which is bad news. After all, there was a reason every team in the Eastern Conference was trying to get their playoff position set up so that they could avoid the Cavaliers for as long as possible. LeBron James seems extra motivated to win the title this year and he is the best player in this series, hands down. Also, while I don't think he's necessarily faking his elbow injury, I do think James is making it seem as though it is worse than it truly is. If he plays less than 30 minutes a game I would be stunned. Plus, LeBron's supporting cast with the addition of Antawn Jamison is much improved over last year.
On the flipside, however, I do think the Celtics are going to push, pull and fight to the very end this year and as long as we have Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, then there is a fighting chance. Yes, they are an old team by NBA standards, but the way the playoffs are elongated in the NBA is an advantage and a chance for some serious rest in between games. No need to worry about the minutes the veterans are going to play. Also, I have to give the Celtics a huge edge in coaching, because I don't see Mike Brown handling close fourth quarters any better than he has the last couple of seasons. We have the best point guard in the series and Kendrick Perkins should not have much trouble handling what is left of Shaquille O'Neal. If Rasheed cares enough to try and put a body on Varejao (who going in will be the Cavalier that I have the irrational hatred for - no need to wait a game and hope someone pops out at me), then Perk will be able to clean up the boards. I don't see a single blowout in this series. All that being said, I still feel like this is just LeBron's time. Cleveland in six.
-I have a deep loathing of bandwagon fans who only show up at playoff time. If the first piece of team apparel you have ever owned was bought 15 minutes before the playoff game started in the pro shop, just know you suck at life. So, out of respect for that, I will not be jumping on the Bruins' bandwagon as they make this playoff run. You will not see me breaking out my Bruins hat and Bobby Orr jersey from the back of my closet. I will not get tickets or attend any rallies. Also, I want to be on record that I would still rather go to a Celtics games over a Bruins game 100 times out of 100 if given the choice, because that is the sports fan decision I have made and I stick to my guns. Still, it should be pointed out that every year I am jealous of the Bruin's playoff crowds versus the Celtics ones, because they are just so much more vocal. The loudest I have ever heard the FleetCenter was when I went to a Bruins playoff game against Montreal back in 2002 (not bandwagon jumping, just trying to get in a certain girl's good graces). I think this has to do with the music. Whoever is the Bruins' DJ should be commended, because his choices are much more in line with the crowd. I think more rock should be played at NBA games, just to at least see the look on the players faces.
-I have to laugh every time, the day after someone is eliminated from American Idol, they go on TV and talk about their 'next step' and their 'big plans'. Look, I've never seen an episode of the show, but even I know what your next steps looks like because I've seen it before. Allow me to write them down for you:
1. Go on the tour with the rest of the people who didn't win.
2. Try to rush a single onto the radio before the next season starts.
3. Have 1 minor hit, translating into a brief run on Broadway.
4. Never be heard from again.
If it would help you can print that out and carry it around with you.
On the flipside, however, I do think the Celtics are going to push, pull and fight to the very end this year and as long as we have Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, then there is a fighting chance. Yes, they are an old team by NBA standards, but the way the playoffs are elongated in the NBA is an advantage and a chance for some serious rest in between games. No need to worry about the minutes the veterans are going to play. Also, I have to give the Celtics a huge edge in coaching, because I don't see Mike Brown handling close fourth quarters any better than he has the last couple of seasons. We have the best point guard in the series and Kendrick Perkins should not have much trouble handling what is left of Shaquille O'Neal. If Rasheed cares enough to try and put a body on Varejao (who going in will be the Cavalier that I have the irrational hatred for - no need to wait a game and hope someone pops out at me), then Perk will be able to clean up the boards. I don't see a single blowout in this series. All that being said, I still feel like this is just LeBron's time. Cleveland in six.
-I have a deep loathing of bandwagon fans who only show up at playoff time. If the first piece of team apparel you have ever owned was bought 15 minutes before the playoff game started in the pro shop, just know you suck at life. So, out of respect for that, I will not be jumping on the Bruins' bandwagon as they make this playoff run. You will not see me breaking out my Bruins hat and Bobby Orr jersey from the back of my closet. I will not get tickets or attend any rallies. Also, I want to be on record that I would still rather go to a Celtics games over a Bruins game 100 times out of 100 if given the choice, because that is the sports fan decision I have made and I stick to my guns. Still, it should be pointed out that every year I am jealous of the Bruin's playoff crowds versus the Celtics ones, because they are just so much more vocal. The loudest I have ever heard the FleetCenter was when I went to a Bruins playoff game against Montreal back in 2002 (not bandwagon jumping, just trying to get in a certain girl's good graces). I think this has to do with the music. Whoever is the Bruins' DJ should be commended, because his choices are much more in line with the crowd. I think more rock should be played at NBA games, just to at least see the look on the players faces.
-I have to laugh every time, the day after someone is eliminated from American Idol, they go on TV and talk about their 'next step' and their 'big plans'. Look, I've never seen an episode of the show, but even I know what your next steps looks like because I've seen it before. Allow me to write them down for you:
1. Go on the tour with the rest of the people who didn't win.
2. Try to rush a single onto the radio before the next season starts.
3. Have 1 minor hit, translating into a brief run on Broadway.
4. Never be heard from again.
If it would help you can print that out and carry it around with you.
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