Five Word Movie Reviews...

I don't usually like going to the movies. I just don't enjoy paying $10, plus whatever a large soda costs, for the right to sit next to people who won't shut up and brought their kids to an R-rated movie cause it costs less than a babysitter. Plus, movies lately haven't been worth it. Between the combination of a lack of a "wow" movie coming out (Dark Knight was the last exception) and the quick turnaround from the theatre to BlockBuster, usually it's just easier to wait for it to come out on video. However, I do love watching movies. So, between BlockBuster and the movie channels we get, I've been catching up on all the stuff I wanted to see in the past, but just never bothered to go out and see. I wanted to write my review of these movies, but I have about 10 that I've seen in the last couple of weeks and frankly, it would take too long to write lengthy reviews for all of them. Thus, I'm condensing it down to five words.

I Am Legend: Like Cast Away, with monsters.
Juno: Funny, but not that great.
Dark Knight: Really long, but really excellent.
American Gangster: This movie would not end.
Ocean's 13: Should have stopped after 11.
There Will Be Blood: Long stretches when nothing happens.
The Kingdom: Last thirty minutes, very intense.
No Country for Old Men: This was the best picture?
Iron Man: Pretty good, but too over-hyped.
The ComeBacks: Features Journey sing-a-long. 'Nuf said.
You Don't Mess with the Zohan: Couldn't watch after thirty minutes. (5 bonus words: Adam Sandler, what fuckin' happened?)
A/K/A Tommy Chong: Kinda preachy considering they're potheads.
SpiderMan 3: OK, I think three's enough.

So, there you go. I just saved you about 26 hours.