Under Armour

-Personally, I love Under Armour. It makes you look jacked, even when you're not, and it keeps you relatively warm when you're shoveling for 3 hours. I just have a couple problems with it. I know that the way the stuff works (roughly) is that it is beyond tight and insulated, which keeps any body heat you have trapped close to your body, which in turn keeps you warm. So, I understand that you should have to squeeze into it and get a suddenly level of familiarity with how sausage is made. I'm with you on that. But, if you wear anything XXL, as I do, you expect a level of understanding from the manufacturer that you are not the average man. Hence, a little more room in the neck would be great. I was rocking an Under Armour turtleneck yesterday when I was shoveling and it was like being slowly strangled by a really weak guy for three hours. I know that not everyone has the 18.5-inch neck that I do, and that's fine, but would it kill you to not have the neck be so tight?

-Another company that needs to fix this is Reebok. They really need to amend their product labels from "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most." You're dealing with the rare combination of Lithuanian and Irish sized-head here. My new hat spent the afternoon working it way slowly up before just popping off the top of my head.

-My only other Under Armour complaint is with their stores. They're all really dark, really loud with weird techno music and have strange metal just hanging from their ceilings and walls. It's like you're walking into ThunderDome. Dude, I just wanted some gloves.

-Speaking of ThunderDome, over the weekend it snowed, then iced, then snowed, then iced again. As a result, there's a nice layer of snow/ice/slush in most parking lots around the area. So, as I went out to do my last holiday shopping I had to negotiate my way around these messed up spaces. But, my fellow drivers, I need to have a word with you: when you can't see the lines, it's ok to do your best to try and still park in an orderly fashion. Snow is not an excuse to park east to west when the rest of us park north to south. And, just because there is snow on the ground that doesn't mean you can ignore the lines if you can see them. You should still only take up the normal one space. This isn't a free for all, people, it's a Toys R' Us parking lot.

-Clearly, I've fixed my embedding issues, so here's a funny comedian for you to check out.