Sex & Magic

Whenever I head down to the beach house, I switch over to the Cape Cod radio stations for better reception. (For years I wanted to work at one of these local Cape stations before I realised that they are basically volunteer work.) What I notice from listening often is that because those radio stations have weak signals (and therefore don't have a large listening radius and reach a very specific audience) almost all of the ads are for local Cape businesses. For the most part there is nothing wrong with it, even though it can lead to a lot of very homemade-sounding commercials. The thing is, the stations are so small they can't afford to turn down money and ads for business you normally wouldn't talk about on the radio get plenty of air time. Last time I was down there one very specific ad caught my ear. It was for the "Joke Shop & Adult Connection" in Hyannis. Apparently, it is a store that sells both 'marital aids' and Whoopee cushions. (Alas, they don't have a website.) But, if you do go, don't forget to bring the kids - there is a magician on Saturdays.

Look, I know the economy is still in a recovery mode and it's probably wise to combine businesses to save on renting out two locations. When Papa Gino's began sharing space with D'Angelos it was a stroke of genius for both companies. But even those guys would have to admit that a joke and adult shop is a rather odd combination. I can't imagine the clientele mixes too often. Let's be honest - if you're really good at performing magic you probably don't need to worry about marital aids. Also, just a word of advice for the parents, you really want to watch how far your kid wanders to other side of the store. Not to mention, I imagine browsing for marital aids gets downright strange with a clown hanging over your shoulder, squirting you with the fake flower on his lapel.

Now, trying to combine any type of store with an adult store is probably not going to work, but the question is whether or not this is the weirdest possible mix of two different types of businesses. I was thinking about it and came up with a few others I feel should never share retail space:

-A Lawn Fountain & Computer Repair Store. It's just electronics and water. What is the worst that could happen?

-Psychiatrist's Office and Party Supply Shop. Given how many people are afraid of clowns it probably isn't wise.

-Sporting Goods and Math Supplies. Yes, let's make sure the nerds and jocks interact as often as possible.

-Daddy's Junkie Music and Border's Books. "What? Do I have Alice in Chains? Oh, you asked for Jane Austin."

-A Butcher & Taxidermy Shop. Did you like that cut of beef? Do you want to see what it looked like before it came in?